January 2009 - "This is halloween, this is halloween, babies wake in the dead of night..."

[VerySpookyLennipillar]

A homage to the Nightmare Before Christmas song. DH obsessed with that film, we all (DD included) have to watch it on Christmas Eve.

Is this it Dog? Choosing Shoes Poem

Well we survived parents' evening. Ds1's supply teacher (who is now staying till at least Christmas, probably longer) seems to really 'get' him. She has him weighed up and has worked out appropriate strategies to manage his behaviour. She seems to really like him and genuinely enjoys talking to him, which is nice. I asked her straight out several times whether or not she felt there was any need for intervention either within school or otherwise at the moment and she said definitely not and if she felt there was she would be the first to approach us. She feels he is a bit emotionally immature and said he is getting there slowly and she feels he will overcome a lot of his obstacles with time and understanding.

She said he is very bright, charming and creative and has a level of insight unusual for a boy of his age. She also said he has an incredible sense of justice/injustice but more relating to how others behave than to how his own behaviour affects others (been said before by two different teachers that one and is typical of asd type behaviours - lack of empathy and all that).

The only negative was that he has been struggling to concentrate in numeracy and as a result he isn't finishing set work in the allotted time and isn't understanding what he is supposed to be doing because he has missed the point. Two issues there. Apparently there are 29 children in the group which is too much for the teacher and also the teacher is very 'old school' and says things like "I've told you once and I'm not repeating myself, so just go and do it" Not at all happy about that, but need to mull it over for a bit. Numeracy was his best subject last year and his teacher told us that apparently he is one of the most able in the year so something definitely needs to be done before he is turned off the subject.

All good for ds2. His teacher had just one word written down for him 'lovely'. He has met and exceeded all his targets, is loved by all the teachers and children and is a really keen worker with loads of enthusiam. He is being taken off the SN register at the end of this round.

Oh and it is slapped cheek - ds2 now has the lacy rash on his neck and chest. We have traced it back and think that Mum got it first, then me and now ds2. It seems he has simultaneously got the vomiting virus his teacher has passed around the class after catching it off her own dc's. (At least that explains why Mum and I suddenly developed really bad joint pain in our hands, feet knees and hips - apparently its common in cases of adult slapped cheek.)

Have you read The Highly Sensitive Child Moose? I wonder if ds1 has some aspects, though I realise no child ever totally fits a description.

They both sound total stars. Not good to hear about the old skool maths teacher. If the subject was his best last year and he has not progressed as expected surely you would have grounds to raise concerns about the teaching methods. You need LenniPillar!

Your poor house has totally done the ill thing this year!

YOu can share my worms anytime Dog.

Ewww! That sounds nasty! lol

Yep, Tree, read that book. Like you say, he doesn't neatly fit into any single category or label. He is just him and its such a relief for him to finally have a teacher that understands that and doesn't freak out and say he needs 'fixing' (unlike the bonkers teacher he had last year).

Just have to keep everything crossed that he keeps this supply teacher for the rest of the year. His 'actual' teacher suffers from depression and has been off for a huge majority of the time for years now. (She was off when my friends 18 year old son was in her class in Year 3 and has been the same ever since.)

Still not sure how to approach the numeracy thing. Think I need to sleep on it.

I think I'd slap someone who suggested my dd needed fixing. Git.
So good you have someone who you can do business with. What a lot of stress you have had to absorb Moose.

I do like that book, but it makes me a bit glum about my childhood as I have leanings to the sensitive side. Wish my mum had read it. DD1 has quite a few aspects - but certainly not all. Enough to be going on with mind you!

Just wrote a note [2 page letter ] to teachers about her constipation, it's patterns and what to look out for. Made me cry. SHe has and does really suffer, and we didn't act early enough. She is so anxious to please, that she just sat on her potty for an hour - even as a 2-3 year old. Just sat patiently.

Oh God has anyone got any anti-maudling pills!!!!!

my new thread

morning

glad parents evening went well mm sorry for slapped cheek bless him

hi tree shame about boden they do seem to have stock issues!!!

have just got brackens feet measured in clarks a 1.5f nearly a 2f already bless her!!
dd1 had dark purple cruising shoes may get her 2 wear them to keep her feet warm or may get some i have seen in next

Tree, have posted on your other thread.

I really think you are being too hard on yourself. There is some famous psychologist that did a research study and concluded that perfect mothers are bad for children. All children need to learn how to handle, disapproval and disappointment etc if they are over protected and cossetted, they don't learn the skills they need to cope with the real world. Fundamentally, as long as they know you love them, they don't need you to be perfect, they need to understand that you are human and on occasion fallable.

So, you don't need to be a perfect mum, you just need to be good enough. (My mother reminds me about this on almost a daily basis and I still can't remember the flippin' psychologists name! I'm crap at applying it to myself as well.)

Ds2 was sick three more times in the night. He looked scarily pale first thing (even his lips had no colour) and is very tired and lethargic. He still doesn't have a temperature, but gave him some calpol as he felt a bit achey and he has perked up slightly and has a bit more colour now. I am really not happy, I keep getting flashbacks about how poorly he was this time last year.

Meant to say. Are both your girls gluten free? Only asking because I have read that gluten free diet often results in constipation. I have ordered a book about the nutritional implications of gluten free diets and am hoping this will give me a bit more of an insight into how to get the balance right. Ds1 has really suffered with constipation since being GF and it has been a bit of a shock for him as he had never has had anything but loose stools in his whole life previously.

HKZ is J's next scan today? Have lost track of the days this week. Hope it all goes well for you.

Hi ladies... wrote this yesterday and forgot to press the right button>>> Haven't even really thought about xmas yet but will be buying N next to nothing as I am sure he will get plenty from the rest of the clan and he will be more into the wrapping paper. Will prob get him a wheelybug though as he loves the one at mum & babies group. And some sort of garage for his birthday (ebay) as I loved my fisher price garage as a kid. Have given family gift ideas of proper musical instruments like lovely drums and maracas and glockenspiel, books and a big comfy beanbag (for reading them in). Have banned plastic. Is that mean?

Went onto the jan 2010 thread last night feeling a bit nostalgic for my bump this time last year before everything changed forever, and they were all talking about anal sex! Funny to think in a year's time they too will have great big babies about to walk and talk (or running around already in Z's case ).

MM sorry to hear about morning battles with DS1 - is he grown up enough for you both to make a list together of what he needs to do each morning and leave him to it a bit more? With some sort of chart to help him? (you can tell I have zero experience of this stage!) And poor poorly DS2. Hope he has a nice snuggly day with you and DD.

poor ds 2 mm
have also replied on your thread tree

Oh tree you are def being too hard on yourself. Mums shout and get cross, then they hug you and tell you they love you. That's what Mums do! Agree with MMs psychologist that it teaches you important things about relationships and love. Too much pressure on kids if Mum is always perfect. Everyone has to deal with anger and losing patience etc.... Anyway, hope your Stepford morning went well and you are now enjoying a Stepford cup of tea with your feet up and DD2 asleep.

Just got back from swimming. N is striding around the kitchen with his pink vtech walker and I am eating mince pies. Only one left so had better finish it

Hi all - dashing through so can't really reply. But thank you for listening to me. I really do worry about dd1. Takin gher to an aromatherapist in 20 mins, straight after school so not ideal. But will be a usefull relaxation tool for her anxiety head.

And mine! A few calming oils burning in the eve after school might do us the worls of good. DD1 hates noise and bustle and copes by going into overdrive or taking herself off on her own. So it can be hard for her to winddown after school.

Will let you know how it goes, and be back for proper chats after the bedtime hour.

Not gluten free Moose - interesting about the constipation though.

Our internet (and TV and phone) is down at home since yesterday evening, no idea when will be sorted so that's why I'm not around.

Ooooooo I am tired. Been watching dd1 have a massage. It was almost as relaxing as having one!

Moose - sorry ds was sick in the night. about the last year thing too. They positively glow in the dark pale don't they.

Tree, massage sounds lovely. You are such an amazing Mum to think of doing that for her.

I have posted on your other thread about my total failure as a Stepford Mum today.

Ds2 has been sick again, despite only eating a quarter of a piece of toast 2 hours earlier. Starting to get a bit worried about him now. He has only eaten 3 individual quarters of toast and non-dairy spread in the last 48 hours. He is sipping watered down apple juice regularly though. If he's no better in the morning, or is sick again in the night I will call the out oh hours GP for advice I think.

Good idea Moose, no point worrying. No point at all. As long as he is drinking and wee-ing he can take the calorie loss. Horrible though

Oh Moose, you must be sapped of energy!!

Just a tad.

As in no point worrying - so ring out of hours. Not don't worry about small boy!

Is it a White Company blanket? Only I'm a beggar for dropping bits of chocolate on anything even remotely white.

for Moose

Imagine spending that on a blanket? Lol. I mean, believe me I woul dif I was loaded. It's just in my life that is not far off dh's monthly wage!!

Who could possibly spend 650 on a blanket? Crazy... but bet they sell a few otherwise wouldn't be worth having them. I once very nearly treated myself to a cashmere dressing gown from WC at 250 (half price), and often think of it wistfully....

Poor Moosey, hope he feels better soon and wakes up craving something yummy.

Very windy and rainy night tonight. N all tucked up in bed after fun night at the farm with his cousins and the dogs. OH still up there so I think I am going to take the opportunity of going to bed with a book. Night everyone x

OMG how much? Think I'd better step away from the chocolate if that's the blanket I'm getting to cuddle.

Been a bit distracted looking at some of the old public information films on the national archive website. It was linked to on the what were you scared of as a child thread. I love the Charlie the cat films about strangers and playing safe etc. I'm going to show them to the boys, they get the point across so well without being scary. Why don't we have anything like that these days?

Cor I remember that lonely water one!

That's the one that people on the other thread were scared of.