May 2008 bubbas: Walking, Talking (& climbing!) Little Monkeys

[monkeysmama]

Thought we deserved a new thread

Oh that sounds like a lovely present LM, I love the personal touch! My friends sent me a belated wedding gift a few days ago - 2 photobox photo books, one of my hen and the other of the wedding. Really really lovely. All very snappy and silly photos but those are the bits I'll want to remember the most!
We've done personalised mugs for DH and my mum at a paint it yourself pottery, pretty mucky as I just let DS do what he liked...but they do have his handprints on so they'll still be a nice record.

No naps last 2 days here, grrrr. Definitely not letting him drop them yet, I will be militant mummy tomorrow! Had a new friend round for a coffee and a play today, girl from playgroup with a DS the same age.

Hope everyone is well. Mitchell that's great your DD is allowed back to school at last! Good luck with the assignment.

My 2 are like yours I think LM re the naps, definitely couldn't do without them myself!

Hello girls

I am knackered!

All good here. Dad had some good news that things are looking up (they've told him there are 3 stages of "all clear" and this is the first one) which is a massive massive weight off my mind and heart.

Dd is trying to drop her afternoon nap (she sleeps 2hrs in am and 1 in pm) but I am fighting her. I too live for nap time - half the time to nap the other to be me for an hour!

Dd is talking more and more. It's so cute. I can see her learning new things every day and I love it.

We went to a wedding on Sunday which wasn't great but dd was a little star and wowed everyone mainly by refusing to leave the dance floor for almost 2 hours. She had found an empty tic tac box in my bag and thought it was the best thing in the world. She kept running up to the other kids and waving it at the proudly like, "look what I've got'. Why did I buy all the presents under the tree when a few empty boxes would've done?!

My sister is celebrating her birthday tomorrow evening with me and mum and I seem to have wangled my first full "me" day since dd was born! Dp is taking her to one of his mate's daughter's birthdays so I am going to get my hair cut, then shopping for my Christmas pressie with mum and then home for a few hours before going out again in pm. Will be nice but God am I tired!

Then on Sunday dp's parents, nan and sister, her dh & two LOs (4 and 5) are coming to celebrate Christmas with us. I am totally dreading it. I won't be feeling great after Saturday night but I don't like those kind of things with his family at the best of time and I can hardly breathe around his sister and her dh. I'll give you two examples. They started discussing a Christmas meal. I said I'd be happy to host (their cooking is appalling) and could do any day apart from Sunday 13th. His sister decided it was the only day that would suit her family so it was agreed. Without going into detail I suggested a time, she texted to say she'd spoken to her mum (with whom I'd checked time) and the time (1pm) was very difficult for her children (who only eat sausages and chips which I am cooking with a roast for us) so not to bother cooking for her family because they'd eat before they came (they are coming for lunch) I changed the time and she got back to me with a very irritating text about how lucky I am to have such an easy dd and so wouldn't understand kids who just don't eat things and need to stick to a routine and prefer traditional English food to "all the garlic you use". She also asked dp whether we have put all our presents under the tree like last year & if so could we put them somewhere else because her LOs believe in Father Christmas and it will confuse them. I hate hate hate hate her.

LM glad your tears seem to have worked. Nastiness at work is awful (I remember it well!)

Bayiu those presents sound nice.

I am falling asleep and going to steal half hour's nap while dd is asleep.

Have a good weekend everyone and think of me on Sunday please.

MM

Oh, goodness, MM.. she sounds like a nightmare!!! And, what, exactly, is wrong with presents under the tree and believing in Santa (which I don't agree with, but that's a whole different thread!! ) I don't know her, of course, but she reminds me of a friend I have - when I go to her house, it's her rules, but when she comes to my house, she's the guest (so she expects her rules to apply!) - I don't see her so often!!

LM - Really sorry to hear about the work issues. It must be very stressful. I do think tears work - but only if they are one of those 'surprise' things - people who can cry on demand do nothing for me, but for the others... Well, it means they are serious in what they are saying.

BWC - Hoep you are settling into work OK now... Power cuts are always terrible!!! I hate them!!

Ahh.. sure I've forgotten loads already..

Hi to Sho, Bella, Flick, FP, GW!!

HM x

Your present to your Sis and BIL sounds divine.

Baiyu - Hoep you are feeling more settled... You will have a great few weeks with DH and DS... Hope you enjoy the animals!!

Mitchell - Hope DD enjoys the last week!!!

we were always brought up to think that all the presents that were under the tree pre-santa's visit were from the family&friends as stated on the tags, then on christmas morning all of santa's presents 'appeared' with tags saying 'love santa'. I think that way we never questioned it. Thats a tradition that dd will be brought up with as well.

Well we'v figured out the cause of dd's sleep pattern and no eating over the last few weeks. Last week the dentist counted 11 teeth, yesterday I counted 14. Thats 3 new teeth in less than a week. She's been a busy girl.

Iv discovered that baby Einstiens Lullaby's helps tp put her to sleep during the day she is less resistant of the day time nap now. DD only has 2 naps in the day on days that she comes to work in the morning with me.

The fog here has been terrible the last few days. yesterday it cleared by lunch time but today I can still barely see my neighbours across the way.

Hope everyone has a good weekend, we'r i'm hoping to get the tree up and the wrapping finished

Sho x

The thing that angers me most is that she hasn't once thought of what might suit my dd. TBH it's an irrelevant day for me but it'll be one to of the most important days of her year. She'll have lived on it for a month or two, complaining incessantly to everyone about her family, timings, her nan, her mum, me, the food we might cook etc. I'll just grin and bear it as long as she doesn't over step the mark in which case it'll be Christmas fireworks!

This teething malarky never ends does it Sho. Hope your LO hasn't been in too much pain. I forced dd to open her mouth so I could brush her teeth earlier instead of the silly running about with the toothbrush that her daddy allows and she yelped in pain .

HM - what have you got your dp for Christmas? What about everyone else?

MM

I live for nap time too. Even though most of the time I end up cleaning! He fell asleep on me this aft about 4pm and he has not done this since he was 3mo and I totally melted inside it was so cute and cuddly. I've been taking him on 30-40min walks before lunch and he just sits on the pavement and wont move. Or wants to walk on the road. He's in his bog boy bed now so can run about in his room (gate on door). I should try getting him up earlier in the morning.

What time do your DC's wake?

MM, you should do something horrible to her food. whats wrong with garlic? Sounds like her kids are fussy anyway and who does she think she is?

LM, crying always works. I'm glad he apologised. He still sounds like a bit of an arse. And the presents sound great.

DS now says 'o-ohh' when he has fallen over or dropped something. He's got really bad nappy rash from pooping in his sleep last night so it's naked butt morning after breakfast. I was smothering it in Vaseline and Sudocrem before and he trumped on my hand. I've never known something so small trump like he does!

DS is working on Xmas Day well on nights before. during and after so we'll be at home just the 3 of us 4 if you include the daft dog. I've asked Dad to come but he's not sure what he's doing yet.

Have a good weekend all.

XXXXXXXXX

Tired here, keep being woken up by DS1 an time between 5 and 6. Although crashed out at 9pm last night, so got quite a bit of sleep. He gets sent back to bed, but I can't go back to sleep usually and I didn't go online yesterday, so doing my MN catch up.

Good to see lots of posts, brain no good at responding to everyone!

MM really pleased for you and your Dad. Hope you enjoy today and Sunday is bearable. My DH's family drive me mad, (still haven't got over his older sis setting her wedding date before ours ). I thought I was going to my MIL's for Xmas lunch, but found out the other day we're going to his brother and wife. No biggie really, because they live in the next town. But we're doing some presents down here with my parents and then leaving them on their own then we'll have the 2 hr drive to Somerset. I thought we'd get top to the IL's and stay put, with dog walk pm. So the plan is to go there, and get someone to come and get us (they have a people carrier). The whole idea was to give MIL a break from cooking, but she'll be over there helping .

It's ok really, but I was looking forward to my 1st Xmas at my PIL, not my BIL&SIL... I wasn't asked so that's the ishoo.....I hate chosing to do one thing and someone changing it without discussing it.

The older sis SIL is arriving on the 27th with her hooligans and smarmy DH, so at least we'll get a decent room. It 1st come 1st served! And they're going on the 29th cos they've got to get back for a Beatrix Potter play in Covent Garden at £60 a head , her kids are 3 and 5, and don't sit still at the best of times.

We'll be off to the panto on the 27th, Peter Duncan is muddles! Down here we have Su Pollard and Chris Javis, but don't know when we can fit it in. Not taking DS2, he's too much of a fidget pants, FIL on babysitting duty.

Present buying almost done, 27 on my list, LM you must win that one?!? Just got the parents to buy for and then wrap, might get DS1 involved, makes it a bit more fun.

I had to ask my friend what the etiquette was in her house for pressies we give and what comes from Father Christmas. She does presents we give to each other, but from her to kids is from FC. So that's what I'm going by. DS1 found the whole present buying the other day a bit tricky, he wasn't getting the Christmas is for giving message, he just wanted us to buy things for him. Nearly had a meltdown in John Lewis at Home..

Anyway enough rambling, off to check my emails and the local Netmums for nearly new. Got some swim discs the other day for DS2!

I must surely win the prize for the longest present list BWC - I have 6 sisters, 3 brothers in law and a nephew, dad, mum, mum's boyfriend and his 2 kids, and 3 parents who aren't my parents but are related to different sisters then sister in law , her dh, her kids, mil and fil, great nan in law, my own dp and dd and the 14 friends kids we buy for. We're known as good present buyers and it is nice when the kids really look forward to opening our pressies and appreciate the effort we put in. We usually do a tour of our mates with kids on Christmas Eve with a big sack and gingerbread etc. Apart from nan in law I have bought and wrapped the lot! Hurray for the internet!

I am even more knackered now. My sister (the one who is just 30) called 8 times between 11:10 and 1230am and I only saw the missed calls at 3 when I woke up with dd (phone was on silent) I tried to get in touch with her (was worried it was about dad) and even got dp up to ask me to drive me over there (I can't drive) but he told me to go back to bed. Lucky we did as she sent me a sheepish message at 7 to say she was fine, had been drunk and wanted to come and see dd! I excuse her anything and her antics make me laugh, but I really could've done with some decent sleep.

Have a good day everyone.

MM

Taking a long time to catch up on the thread these days! I would like to congratulate us all for being so active still even tho the LOs are 19 months+. My May 2006 thread (for DD1) gets about 5 posts a year now . Hope we all keep it going .

Re: Pressies, we have loads under the tree which are a mixture of our pressies ready to give to other people, and ones that people have given the girls. We also then have pressies 'left in the hall' by Santa on Christmas morning, and the girls get a stocking from us. It's what we did when we were kids. One of my friends says that all presents are from santa which confuses me cos then does that child think that none of their family i.e. Aunties etc have bought them a Christmas pressie??!!

Had a great few days with the girls being good as gold. DD1 is knackered after starting school and has been asking to go to bed early...so we've gone back to 6:30pm bedtime and they're not waking up til nearly 8am . As a result, DD1 has been lovely to be around despite being overall tired, no grumps etc. They are currently sat glued to 'Mamma Mia'....they love it and the weekend is film day. Even DD2 has been going around singing 'Don't go....[wasting your emotions...]' and 'suba-truba'..it's so cute!!

I need some advice re fear of dogs. Poor DD1 (3.5 yrs old) was 'approached' by a dog in the park after school a few weeks ago. It was a very excitable puppy, didn't jump up at her as such but was jumping about all around her. She completely freaked out. It was awful, I nearly cried.
Since then she has become petrified of dogs. We have previously stayed over at friends houses with dogs, so it's just since this incident. We have to walk through the big main park to get from school to where we park the car, and loads of people walk their dogs there. As soon as she sees one she starts shaking a nd screaming and trying to climb up me for me to pick her up.
HOW SHOULD I DEAL WITH THIS???????
I have been kneeeling down to her and calmly saying that she doesn't need to be frightened and that dogs won't her and are friendly and just playing etc. Nothing helps. She is petrified.
I know I shouldn't care, but I feel like I am being 'judged' by all the other mums as to how I am dealing with the situation. I asked DH and he said when it's his 'day' he picks her up which I feel is re-inforcing her fear?
The trouble is I am nervous around dogs so I can't go up and start stroking one etc for her to see me cos I don't like them!! Although I do my very best not to transfer this to her.
It breaks my heart to see her so upset. Also, while she is like that, I need to be also keeping an eye on DD2 who is wondering off.
Unfortunately I don't trust dogs myself, ever since my friends 2 year old nearly had her nose bitten off by their family labrador and ended up in hospital for a week .

Please has anyone got any ideas or advice?

MM your SIL sounds awful. I can very much relate to having problematic inlaws.

EEEK! Just seen how long my post is...sorry!!

LM xxx

Off to get my haircut but quick reply to HM. I take fear seriously - my parents didn't realise how grave my issues with birds were until I had developed an acute phobia which almost controlled my life for a year or so. I ended up having many years of counselling just to lead a normal life! Not that I am implying this is in anyway close to that but what I mean is, I think you're right to take it seriously now.

Dd behaved in a similar way around dogs and to a lesser extent cats. When we went to Cyprus in the spring there were cats everywhere and we thought we were going to have to leave early. I hate animals (apart from bunnies) and dp isn't a major fan but he spent a lot of time with dd moving slowly towards the cats, talking about them, stroking them and laughing at them with her. Cats are now her favourite thing in the world. Less so with dogs (he took a similar approach) but she's happy for them to walk past the pram now. I am a firm believer in letting them be scared of things though. So when dd got really hysterical we didn't force her to touch or even be near an animal but did hug her and just tried again at another point.

I am rambling now anyway but wanted to suggest an internet search. I did a quick one and although am in rush & don't have time to link there were some interesting articles and suggestions from professionals.

Enough nonsense from me.

MM

LM - I agree with MM re. the phobia. I too have a phobia of birds, which takes a lot to keep in check... I'm OK now with larger birds (ducks / geese) but small ones still make me nervous and butterflies have me running for the hills!!

I take Haribo to feed ducks, just to try and ensure I don't pass on my fear and I'm trying to get DH to take him to a butterfly farm as well (I cannot face butterflies)

So, for the dogs... when she's hysterical, then yes, I would pick her up and remove her from the situation. Tell her that there is nothing to be frightened of and that you are picking her up ONLY because you don't like to see her so upset... But, she's not going to be receptive to anything while she's so upset.

Then, you need to enlist some dogs you trust... friends dogs are OK, but (personally) I would go to a dog trainer as the dogs will do as they are told and they are 'strange' dogs (and this is what she is having to deal with in parks etc).. Start off with her just being around them... no interaction etc., and just let her 'be' with them. She needs to feel in control of the situation, and that's best done with a professional. Most professionals will come to you, so you can do it in familiar surroundings... perhaps start at the park (somewhere where DD1 is used to seeing dogs?)

Most dogs (Doof included) are very friendly, but far too OTT to be any use to a nervous child!! Absolutely do not worry about what any other parent says or does. Of course, some will judge, but all kids are different and there is no point in forcing her to deal with a dog when she is upset.

We have the opposite problem here - Doof went up to my parents for the christmas holidays yesterday and Haribo is missing him like crazy!!

Up far too early, but my fault this time. Woken by need for loo before 5 and couldn't go back to sleep . Hooray for a good book and the internet .

Good ideas from HM for the phobia, maybe LM you should go along too for some help?

Really for Haribo with no Doof, I know DS2 would absolutely love a dog, and DH, but they're so much commitment. He'll be back with you soon.

Oh girls. I need sympathy. Great night with sis - I didn't get home until 3:14AM ! I broke the key in the door ! I feel so tired but am already sweating over a hot stove making a rib of beef and Nigella's ham in coke!

Please feel sorry for me .

Aww... MM - Big hug and sympathy from me

MM you have my sympathy. Hope SIL is not a PITA today. {grin] Hope the day goes well

Hey girls

Thanks for the sympathy. Checked our thread from my iphone when I was taking a quiet moment in the kitchen (aka hiding) and you made me smile.

Day went ok actually. I decided to be chilled out and not let anything get to me. SIL irritated me but I can forgive her - she doesn't have a happy life and is a very odd woman. Her dh is such a fool - he can't make eye contact which makes any attempt at conversation very disconcerting. For some reason he initiated a conversation about how irrelevant university and education is and asked why we fill our house with books we've already read (he was made redundant from his finance job two years ago and has since been doing nightshifts on a farm ). We've (me & dp) both been to uni and are strong believers in education, not necessarily formal education but in learning new things. It all got rather awkward when dp, who usually pretends he isn't there when conversations like that begin, challenged him head on. I was actually rather proud until I realised sil's dh had only started the discussion because he's not happy (and is a horrible person) and then I just felt pity for him.

A minor blip when mil saw the advent calendar she bought dd. Dd doesn't have chocolate (well, now and then but not as a reward/treat iyswim) and mil knows this. I got her an advent calendar to put little toys in and suggested both our families might want to contribute little gifts instead of their own calendars. We had eaten some of the chocs but....

Dd screaming ....more later.

MM Glad your day wasn't too bad. You have my sympathy, I find it hard having the in laws over, so many people and so much food to prepare!

HM I used your photos of your DS and DDog on FB to show DD1 at how DS was all cuddly with the dog, and 'all over him' and he was fine. She announced 'But I'm not scared of dogs anymore Mummy'. Hmmm, we'll see about that next trip to the park! I think the photos helped though .

Had a lovely weekend at home just the 4 of us while the rest of his family were away for his sis's b'day weekend [over the top]. I had a great weekend anyway (just chilling at home, nothing special) but it was even nicer considering the alternative!

DD1 has been 'flying' around the house with her Tinkerbell wings on saying 'do not be afraid!' and when I questioned her if that was from Tinkerbell, she said 'No Mmmy, it's what the angel says to Mary...'do not be afraid you will have a baby'! BLESS HER!!! She has her nativity on Friday and yes mitchell we are allowed to take photos! (yay!). I will try and get some good ones and put them on FB.

LM xxx

....where was I....

the advent calendar. We'd opened the doors and eaten/chucked the chocs but mil insisted on asking dd if she'd been eating the chocolates. It was so silly. Dp was on a bit of a roll and said "we told you she doesn't eat chocolate so no. I ate them" She was very angry.

I'd checked with everyone what food they wanted (you may recall me mentioning dp's sister's family don't eat much) I sweated over the oven for 5 f-ing hours. I served the meat only for sil to say "is that what we're having, gammon, beef and salmon? I don't like any of them!" Mil exacerbated matters by saying that they were her least favourites but I'd cooked them well . I was sitting there thinking - 'I've this bland meal for you all that I don't like, with a criminal hangover and 4 hours sleep. I served it 3 hours earlier than I wanted to because you insisted, made sausages for your children who eat nothing else and spent half hour half hour cooking and blending veg for your gravy because you'll only eat it that way. Fuck off!'

It only got better when one of sil's two kids, who kept coughing everywhere and were obviously not at all well, said "smy best friend Jack has turned into a swine pig" I thought it was funny until I saw dp's ashen face and realised what the LO was saying. Yes, his best friend, among others, has swine flu. Great fun .

I am only moaning on here because I can't moan to anyone else! My family don't like dp and thought they pretend to I don't like telling them these things because my mum and sister would be angry with them.

Anyway, it is over now though I had to laugh at the end of the day when sil finally went home and invited us over to her on Christmas Day!! She said she was worried we'd be lonely without all "our family" on Christmas Day. I really did laugh rather hysterically (and frightened dp) which was totally inappropriate but cut short the conversation.

Enough about me - how is everyone else?

Off to the hospital with dad tomorrow to get an update on how he is. Feeling quite positive about it. The off to the forest for a walk with mum. Got a busy week - meeting people every day now until Christmas.

Oh yeah, after everyone left last night I saw a mouse in out living room. I am not happy.

Have a good week everyone.

Apologies for my rambling, moany post!

MM

MM dd didnt seem to be in any discomfort with these new teeth so it was a big surprise to find 3 of them. Sounds like your lo is teethen maybe.
So pleased for your dads good news, hope he has a good visit to the hospital today. Must be such a weight of your shoulders.
Glad you survived Sunday, lmao at christmas day at your sil's! Im soo glad I dont have to wirry about such events with dp's family. They dont eat out and never invite anyone to eat at theirs, infact they dont visit except at dd's birthday and at that its just his mum and 3 of his 4 sisters that come. His dad refuses to carrying his 4th sister up the stairs. His sis is in a chair and we live in a upper cottage flat shame on us

Presents for dp - We agreed that as things are tight this year we will only buy each other 1 gift, so Iv got dp Guitar Heroe. He's played it at his friends so I know he'l enjoy it. And dd will enjoy the guitar!

lucky the boy I look after was fine with dogs until his neighbours got a new dog which barks everytime it see's anyone. Also the house that is next to the school gate has noisy dogs too so it was becoming an issue when walking his sis to school everyday. He would stop and drop into a ball clutching on his ears.
I started taking him to my mums house once a week, he didnt know my parents back then so was totally unfamiliar with the dog. The dog which at 9years old has only barked once! He clutches his ears every now and again but generally just says 'sshhhhh' to noisy dogs now. I hope your next visit to the park is successful.

We went to see Santa yday with bsis & her dd (11m). Fantastic experience, dd was having fun until she had to go to santa, she did sit on his knee but then when I stepped back for the photo she burst into tears The photographer was quick enough to catch her just before the tears so its actually quite a good photo. She's been walking about clutching on to the teddy santa gave her ever since so a good day all round I think.

Hope everyone is healthy and merry
this is the house of cold again, all 3 of us fighting over the hankies. Hope it passes quick, we all have our christmas parties this week.
Sho x

MM Your family (SIL & MIL) sound awful. I can definitely relate to it. When we have the in laws over, I have to do 3 different meals, one for the non-fussy adults, one for the veggies (fair enough) and one for the fussy children. Once I made spagbol thinking that would be easy but I still had to make 3 different types.
Luckily they are not big 'foodies' so I can get away with things like spagbol or a veg curry. I feel sorry for you going to all that effort only to have it all thrown back in your face. I don't like it when 'his lot' come over, but it's bliss when they go home and despite having to spend a good hour cleaning up (that doesn't include washing up cos that's in the dishwasher, that's just the mess the kids make!) I love to sit down with a glass of wine and chill out with DH and revell in the peace and quiet.

Thanks for the dog tips, I will ask DH how she has been this week.

LM xx

Well done MM for surviving the day!

MM - glad you didn't blow a fuse!!! I'm blessed with lovely In-laws - In fact, at Christmas, it's most likely I'll go and see them with 3 of the kids and DH will stay here with DSD1.

Hope your Ddad is OK.

LM - Hope DD1 is making progress with he dogs.

Sho - hope you are all feeling better! I wanted to get DH guitar hero, but he prefer the real things!! I have got him a cushion with a photo on it for his guitar room - It's one I took in Alcatraz (the rock... geddit!!?!) And I got him the Michael McIntyre DVDs too, as we both think he is very funny... A LEd Zepp book and few other bits... nothing big, though.

In fact, DH's old band (he had to stop playing with them when he started working abroad) just released their first single today... Their album is coming out soon, and they have used DH's solos on the album (he is very good!!)

I have a new name!!! YEAH!!!

best go, have a million things to do before Haribo wakes up!!

(BTW, has anyone taken the LOs on trains? I took my two to a thomas the tank engine show on a local railway line and it was super.. So much so, I decided to take them to another one today on a different railway line and it was shit not quite so good! Was rather pleased to get home and warm!!!

HM x

Hi girls

I am almost too tired to type. Went out on Saturday and had the family thing on Sunday but have been doing all the parenting on my own for weeks as dp's had thing after thing to go to - Vancouver twice, Madrid 3 times, Christmas dos galore.... [yawn] And all this has coincided with dd deciding not to sleep anymore.

As I type she's having bath time with her dad who is going to attempt to put her to bed for the first time in about a year I think. He is then going to get up with her throughout the night . I expect I'll be woken up at 2ish by her screaming and will have to bring her into bed but at least we can try and give me a night off.

That's it from me for tonight anyway - I really am too tired to write anything coherent.

Hope everyone is okay.

MM

Me again . It's snowing properly here and my street is covered in beautiful white snow. It looks so calm and beautiful. Just thought I'd share that....