One small step for Baby, one large step (or mad dash to prevent disaster) for Mumkind

[ninja]

Hi, Welcome to the new thread, the one where we can't drink a cup of tea in peace (there you go, we could have used that for a title!!)

I was in bodyshop yesterday and M trashed the place. Luckily the sales assistant thought she was sweet as she pulled things off displays and legged it out the shop with jars of body butter (several times)!!, cue me legging it after her with a handful of makeup . Luckily there were no store detectives aroud. She also tried to wear every shoe within her reach at the shoe shop.

splish - what an arsehole. Can you appeal to his family, or would that be a waste of time?

Is there anything we can do? It's hard enough when you've got this sort of fight on your hands, nevermind when you're living in a refuge on your own with 2 dc. There is a great wealth of knowledge on MN about these sorts of situations as there are too many other woman who have been through it.

I can't believe it Digi, your sister is so fab

Morning everyone. stealing some time here to catch up. Splish, I am so sorry to hear that things are still so hard. I wish I could do something practical to help. But don't forget that you are a wonderful mother. You have chosen this road because ultimately it will be better for you and your babies.

I feel like it is frivolous to come on here and say how shocked I am that dd1 is still in 6-9 month trousers. Anything else falls off her and is way too long. I braved the NCT sales in Durham City yesterday to find her some trews as DD1s stuff are all the wrong season and though I could put tights on her, it is like trying to dress an octopus just to get a nappy on her these days.

Just catching up before getting into the office properly.

Splish I am shocked and saddened by your situiation but unfortunately sympathy is all I can offer and truly hope and pray things get better for you soon. You sound so strong and a loving mummy, you deserve some good luck.

DG I am amazed at last night's TV. J&E were annoying but mildly amusing at first, now it's serious - they are stopping people with genuine talent get their first break. Who the hell is voting for them??
Please tell G she was brilliant and [whispers] the best singer of the group by far. Their big band rap was absolutely fabulous . They were all entertaining and neither Miss Frank nor Danyl should have gone.

Lollipop I am so sorry that you are at the end of your tether - it must be so very hard. I second what people have said - have you any family to help and give you a break, or could DP do a night at all? At 13m, I do think you need some help. I am no advocat of leaving babies to cry but at this age a gentle approach to help them learn to self-settle is appropriate, IMHO. But there are far wiser peple than I on here - ones that can give you practical advice - but please do come here and vent if you need.

My vent for the day is that earning lots of money is not always a good thing. I know this might sound rubbish to people struggling to make ends meet, and to be honest I know it sounds crap myself but I can't help feeling so guilty about working full time.
I read your post hopefully about needing about £200 a week for the budget and it made me realise that I am trapped. I love my job and I am well paid, but the downside is I have to work FT as I'm the only one with a pension and so our future depends on my earnings. We did the sums and for me to even drop one day a week would have an impact on our future.
DP works so hard but just doesn't bring in alot and isn't in the sort of job he could do PT

I know how self indulgent this sounds and I do count my blessings but to have just one extra day a week with C would be so lovely. I worry she'll grow up and not really know her mum.

Oh and foxy C is still in 6-9m trousers and tops. I did buy her some 12-18m clothes and they swamped her! She is only 21lbs and still in her rear facing newborn car seat.

DG I really think Miss Frank were victims of the 'they're so good everyone will vote for them' mentality, so people who like them don't bother voting - hopefully next week it'll give others a kick up the backside to vote for their favourites so that Jedward doesn't get through again. So sorry that its the end of the road for your sis this time around, we'll follow their career closely though, we've definitely not heard the last of them!

splish I wish we could help...it sounds rubbish but you sound like you've got an amazing attitude about it.

I've no idea what size ds's feet are, he's not having shoes til his feet will touch pavement! He's started letting go when he pulls up to standing, but there's no cruising yet. Having been in 6-9m clothes for ages, he's skipped 9-12m and gone straight to 12-18! If he was in disposable nappies then the 12-18 would drown him, but with the elastic pulled in at the waist, and a washable nappy, they fit ok even though the trousers are a bit long and the sleeves a bit long on the shirts. He's finally reached 20lb! Now that he can stand, he no longer looks as small and babyish. followed closely by

ds2 is is 12-18 month tops but only 9-12 trousers. Problem is they are getting too short but the 12-18 ones are all too big at the waist.
Ds1 is the same- always a size bigger on top than bottom.

Took him to get his feet measured this morn and to see if he was steady enough for proper shoes. She said not quite but don't waste money on cruisers esp as he's close. Measured his feet though and they are a 4G which is the same size as ds1's cruisers so she said he should just wear them. I was impressed and shocked at a Clarks staff member encouraging me not to spend money!

IOM I understand where you are coming from and it must be tough. Try to remember what you said about your future wouldn't be as good financially if you didn't work full time. It's so hard being a mum, I think whatever you choose either yourself or other people make you feel guilty about something.

Good luck Carriebo. I found out today that our survey wasn't done last week as I thought because the place was infested with fleas! Gross gross gross.
Was very annoyed that no one had told me.

Carriebo I'm the same about shoes - until C is walking outside, she's not having shoes (with the added bonus that it drives MIL mad, as she thinks C's feet are always cold (they're not)). Best way to learn to walk is bare feet on carpet.
And I too am so broody for another baby - my colleague had a 5lbs 9oz DS at 33 weeks last week. All healthy and came home at the weekend!Have told DP we have to think about it next year cos I'm no spring chicken....

...Toby is a 6F!

splish Very sorry to hear your news...how awful for you.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, it means a lot.
Tbh, things aren't perfect here but they're ok, but to be out of my situation is a huge relief. The future can't be as bad as the past was, and I've got support to deal with whatever happens.

Today I took the dc to West Wittering - such a lovely beach. Only trouble was that if we went anywhere near the sea, dd2 set off determinedly towards the waves - back in the warmer weather, we went to Bognor and she crawled in and out of the water and ahe obviously doesn't see the cold as any reason to limit her fun. She also kept lying face down in the sand and tasting it. Can't believe how warm it is at the moment

You sound so strong Splish - I don't think I could be.

M is a 3.5H (and a high instep, her feet are basically spherical )

I seemed to skip 9-12 month clothes, but 12-18 are a bit big.

I'm going off on a tangent here but today I realised that now I will no longer be pg or bf again I can take medicines and vitamins / herbal supplements to my hearts content. For the last 4 winters I have been either TTC, pg or bf and unable to knock back cold relief willy-nilly. Today I had sudafed for my snotty nose without having to read the small print first. How sad is that .

I have family mediation with XP tomorrow, I haven't seen him since the start of July. I am hoping I can get him to see the children at a contact centre (as he is still hurling abuse at me) and pay maintenance. Will let you know how it goes.

splish I just googled WW beach, it has pretty beach huts!! I'm sure the sand did your dd good, it must be full of minerals and roughage . I'm taking my two to cornwall next summer, goodness knows how chaotic that will be. I can see it now, one will be running for the sea the other will be falling in a rock pool, ho hum.

Good luck for today meglet

Hurrah for being able to take medicines again. I look forward to that day. I'm not a pill popper at all, but it is nice to have the choice.

I never thought I would say this, but I think I am falling out of love with breastfeeding

I'm not going to make any decisions yet though as I have a lot of things going on and I need to be sure I am making the right decision for the right reason.

DH is working away for a few weeks and ds has taken to waking up early (again), leaving me feeling knackered and tbh a bit resentful. These on their own are not good reasons to stop. But I also now feel ready to spend the day and dare I even say it, a night away from ds. Even a lay in would be nice.

DH brings ds in for a feed then takes him downstairs at the weekend, but once I'm up I can't get back to sleep.

This all sounds very me me me, but it's how I feel

ILTQITI

Funnily enough I was thinking that I'm not nearly so passionate about bf this time as last time, although I still want to carry on to 18 months (I bf dd1 to 22 months)

Since I'm working and can't be bothered to express on those days she now has cows milk at the childminders and if dh is putting her to bed. I sometimes give it to her now as there's such a difference between days off work where she has 6 or 7 feeds in 24 hours and some working days when she has only 3

We're only on 2 or 3 feeds a day as well and he sleeps through the night, so it's not as if it's a real chore anything, but it's just losing its appeal.

I had in my mind that I'd feed for 18 months as that will see him through the majority of the cold/flu/virus season.

I think I just need to let things settle down with the early wakings and dh's work, then make a decision.

ILTMIMI and ninja, I'm in the same boat. To be honest, I did not even plan to breast feed much beyond 6 months, which seemed fair enough in my pre-children brain. Then DS came, BF was easy, and have just kept it going. He now demands it occasionally during the day, and that's the bit I don't like. Although to be honest, like Starlight, I also use it as an on demand peace making tool. And can't be bothered making bottles. And it seems to keep him healthy.

I have no idea how I would go about stopping now.

Diego blabbers constantly. He does incredibly articulate and complex gibberish while gesticulating expressively and pointing at a variety of objects and/or people. His pretend speech is so believable that our English friends say "oh, he's speaking Spanish already?!" at which point I need to explain he's not speaking diddly squat. He says nothing more than mamá and papá, and occasionally, teta (breast). But never on demand. Is this normal?

meglet I'm so with you on the sudafed. I used to weep over it while ttc/pg/bf (which has been from 2005 until this summer) and when I got ill this summer I actually texted a friend in my excitement that I could take the 'fun drugs' by which I only mean legal ones!

Dd's feet were at 3.5H at this age - they were actually as long as they were wide! At 2 1/2 she's only just a size 7, I can't believe there are babies on here that are size 6! That's the wonder of variety for you, all our babies are so different and so wonderful.

pacita Diego's babbling sounds completely normal. I used to take dd very seriously when she babbled, as though we were holding a proper conversation, I would say 'really?' and 'what happened next?' and listen to her replies in babble talk. Before you know it the real words will be appearing in context and little sentences will emerge.

star sorry to hear you are being "watched" re; bs weight....I can really symapthise. DS1 was a tiddler too, but he wasnt bf so they couldnt blame that!!! pshaw!

DS2 is definately NOT a tiddler!!! Toby is in 12-18 m clothes (and some of them are looking a bit snug!) and his feet are HUGE...he is very adorable though and I am constantly amazed at the new things he does seemingly every day.

Good luck to both meglet and splish You are both amazing.

Lots been going on here, both dc had a sickess bug last week and now they both seem to have chest infections Who needs sleep anyway?

Not sure who was asking about sleep but we tend to bed share for some of the night every night. The dc start off in their own room (they share) and then at some point (it varies) ds2 comes into our bed and I get into bed with ds1 (he has a double). Works for us and we all get some sleep!!! Just hoping they still arent doing it when they are 17

IOM I was really moved by your post and its honesty....I am a SAHM (and am seriously considering home ed for ds1 but thats another story!!!) and I sympathise with your feelings. I would hate being away from my dc too. However, I must take issue with you on one point - C will not forget you! You are her mother and for along tme to come the most important person in her life...ok? You are going out to work to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, not for laughs!

Hope everyone else is well and happy x

DS is size 5G shoes.

This evening he was doing his usual circuit round the house leading me by my thumb. I thought I'd let go quickly as he was walking towards his dad and he carried on walking, no sudden drop to the floor! Then I got excited and leaned him against the sofa and asked him to walk to me, and he did! Then we played the walking game where he walks between me and Dh as we sit on the floor and he was so much better than before. Am so proud of my little boy!!!

His sleeping is still all over the place though, hoping (but not holding out) for a better night tonight where he goes longer than an hour between wakes, and perhaps makes it till 3 before needing to come into our bed.

Re breastfeeding, I would like to give up actually. I think I've got thrush in my right nipple, it's agony when ds starts to feed on that side, then for a good couple of hours afterwards it still burns. But he absolutely must have it when I come home from work, he gets really upset and agitated if I don't immediately whack my boob out as soon as I step through the door. How do I get over that? Also, when I'm not working it's a brilliant way to get 5 minutes to sit down. But what bothers me most is when we're co-sleeping he wakes up much more often to feed than if I wasn't in the bed. He sleeps through if just in bed with dh or my mum.

Maybe we should try just dh in the bed if he wakes early and won't go back in his cot. Maybe that will break the cycle.

Oh and seem to be on week 9 and no AF - I think my body is trying to tell me it's not ready to be pregnant again. I seem to be much less fertile than before DS . Will give it another few months and then go to the docs about it.

I'm very impressed with everyone who is still bf their dc . Although, I always assumed that mums who manage it this far are all happy bf-ing earth mothers and could go on forever. I never realised it could be so hard going at this age.

I had family mediation with XP this afternoon, it went really well.........not. He was sulky, ranty and petulant from the start, the mediation officer had to tell him to keep his voice down in the end. After about 40 mins she asked to talk to each of us individually (as he had been ranting I had barely got a word in), then I was able to fill her in on what had been happening and what I wanted to happen. After that she said he was too angry for mediation to take place, ended the meeting early and told him he needed to get counselling on his own . I think he made a pretty bad impression. So, the end result is that contact with the children is still up in the air, she said he had to calm down before that could be sorted out. I am glad I wasn't forced to let him have the children, although I'm concerned that he made no effort to behave like an adult when it was such an important meeting. He turned up looking rough, I had been worrying he would turn up looking good and knock my confidence, felt a bit sorry for him once it was over TBH.

So, tomorrow I am calling the CSA. I won't be holding my breath but need to get the ball rolling. Shall I make a spreadsheet up now of all the phone calls and contact I have with them for when the inevitable happens and they lose paperwork / claim they can't find him .

DD is on size 5 nappies now. It won't be long before I can put her and DS in the same size. At this rate she will be potty trained before he is, some days he is happy to use the potty / toilet, then the next day he is a stubborn as a mule.

DG, I don't think it is thrush, I think you may be suffering bad latch. Yes after all this time. DD2 has been doing this on my left nipple. Feels just like you described. It is down to teething. Lanisoh my dear woman and help her get on properly.

DD2 has been refusing to feed all day today, pushing me away even if she is sleepy and crying. Has hardly eaten plus last night she had a fever and fed off an on from 3am. I have been awake since 3.30 today save for a nap at 7pm tonight. She's been v clingy; most unlike her today. I ended up wrapping her in order to do the ironing this morning. She went straight to sleep, poor monkey. But this PM I gave up with the house looking like a tornado has been through and wrapped her again this evening and all 3 of us went for a long walk 'down the dene'. DD1 splashed in every possible puddle.

Will be off to bed as soon as I catch up with the other posts. What a way to spend half term.