June 08- the shoes, the food, the glamour!

[pureeandpearls]

Struggling to load pages these days and saw we were over the 900 so took the liberty of starting a new thread.

Rolf - sorry but it sounds like you've been on more than chocolate! Sounds good though - 2 days without children in London every week.

bugger - the boys were just arguing and have woken up Ethan, be back later...

Did you manage to settle Ethan back down, Deb?

Debs - your mean reaction to BDQs toy tidy up made me laugh! Although I only read it that way once you pointed it out.

Amber - hope the exchange goes well.

Abdn - the coat is expensive but not massively expensive for a coat if you see what I mean. I'm rubbish at birthday presents so not much help on that I'm afraid.

Spider - Wisley sounds lovely, we went to Harlow Carr for the first time a few months ago, despite the fact I grew up only a few miles from there , it was great!

Amber - really impressed by Luke's talking, J seems to be concentrating on perfecting his dancing and climbing at the moment rather than talking.

I haven't been to Tescos, I decided we could do without onions and tinned tomatoes for a few days, the less I go the less money I spend, at least that is the theory! Will probably go on Wednesday and have a look at the coats then.

Hi guys, thanks for all your thoughts. Sadly the mastitis has put paid to the bf . When I posted yesterday I was still feeling relatively lucid but as the day progressed I become more and more poorly. I tried hand expressing and hand pumping but not one drop of milk came out. My breasts were excrutiating, I was sweating buckets, my temperature was all over the place and I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't even sit let alone stand by the time the MW arrived at 3pm. She tried to express some for me, but couldn't get anything either and I was in so much pain by this point she told me to stop trying and just to take the ABs and soothe my breasts with hot flannels which should help some milk leak and ease the pressure.

I asked her what this would mean for bfing cos my milk would dry up and she advised that once I felt better I could then pump and bring my milk supply back up again but, tbh, I just couldn't take the risk of this happening again. I have never felt so ill in my life and I cannot cope with two babies and being unable to get out of bed. Bfing is clearly not something my body was designed to do .

On top of this when I asked the MW about having Michael's tie cut she said it could be a fair wait and it wouldn't be done this week. That decided it for me. That and the fact that dh is on the verge of a breakdown with trying to look after me and the boys. Mum is here at the moment too but the lion's share still falls on him and he is also very worried about me.

The MW has put me on daily visits cos they're so worried about me . What a mess, eh?

Thank you, all of you for your support, and going thank you for your lovely comment.

So back to the miserable routine of sterilising bottles. But I have said to dh that I don't want to share feeding except with him - one of the things that I hated about Alex being ff was that everyone else wanted to "have a turn". No, that's my job .

Anyway, have been reading the thread and sorry not to be able to reply to everyone but have to say I absolutely LMAO at PP's solicitor's comment about company law not overruling EU law - priceless! Also love the jackt AH, and have to say that I once spent £250 on a walking jacket so I don't think it's OTT at all .

Oh, and totally agree with who ever said Bruce needs to go from SCD - esp after he made those ridiculous comments about the 'race row' and how we used to think it was a joke to call someone a p*ki . Err, no Bruce, only twunts like you think that's funny.

Well, off to lie down again.

Hi to everyone else.

Sponge, totally agree with you about Brucie - I thought he got off very lightly with the 'joke' comments. I think he should have been sacked for that (along with Anton de beke).

So sorry you have had such a nightmare with the BFing. Totally know what you mean about the fear of the mastitis coming back. It is no fun at all and the fact that it has happened so early on is probably an indication that it wlould happen often iyswim. I didn't get any mastitis till about 9mths and that was bad enough.

Totally agree with you about feeding - it is something that should be special between you and Michael. It's ok if you want to have a break but people shouldn't assume. But then they probably think they are doing you a favour by helping with the feeds. Tell them to help you by doing some sterilising instead!

Amber it's shit isn't it. What's your thoughts now? I have got a doc appt tomorrow morning, I am in two minds about whether to lie and say we have been trying for 6mths. We have only been trying for 2 but I have been taking my temps for 6 mths and I know the LP has only been 10 days the majority of the time. I am rubbish at lying and really don't like to but I don't see the harm really...? I might say 'we are trying for a baby and I have been taking my temps for 6mths...' then it is only implied!

Rolf, are you really thinking of getting back into work? Sounds like a plan doing two days in London, but hard work too! How easy would it be to find a job?

Abdn love the coat! I've been looking for a coat like that for a while. How generous are the sizes? Are they sized for petite French ladies?

Neenz I'm not really serious about going back to work - I think we would really struggle to manage the family. There aren't relatives who could help and I couldn't leave the children for that long with someone who was doing it for money rather than love (and even then probably not, really). DH and I have just got on Skype and we were talking today whilst he's in London, and he showed me the view from his window. He's in a beautiful room overlooking the Thames and that, combined with the injunction reports, made me get all excited.

Sponge you poor darling . You must be in terrible pain. Your body has made 2 gorgeous babies and you strike me as being a wonderful loving mother. And you have great cheekbones. I'm truly sorry that the bfeeding isn't working as I know how important it is to you.

Rolf the sizing seems pretty french to me - at the hips especially. Boden gives you a whole extra inch per size so I ended up in a 12 rather than a 10 (I have no chest so I can get away with it in most tops).

Rolf and I know exactly what you mean about work. At least when my DH is away he's offshore on a rig and I'm not jealous of that!

sponge sorry to hear that BF hasn't worked but please don't let this hit your confidence! BF is not the be all and end all, look how well A has done! And restricting feeding to you and DH will make it more special for you - and it is very nice that you can share it with your DH.

Also, it's great that you're getting support from your MW, but you will manage just fine as soon as you're well (or as fine as any of us with 2+ manage it), I promise!

sponge You are definatley doing the right thing, your sons and dp need a happy mummy and that isn't going to happen if you have mastitis. Hope it clears very quickly and you feel as human as a mother with a newborn baby and toddler can feel! Certainly agree that if anyone offer to help with feeding you should send them to the kitchen to wash the bottles! LOL at Rolfs cheekbones comment!

Neenz It's worth getting yourself into the system. It seems some dr's are very happy to give progesterone and others aren't. I had it with ds from about 6 -12 weeks but that dr seem to give it to anyone who saw him in the epu.

Impressed with talking babies. DS uses Ma and Mama for everything and everyone!

Evening all. Have gotten progressively more snotty as they day has wore on.

abdn lovely coat and not expensive for what it is I think.

Sponge sorry about the feeding but I'm glad it sounds like you've made a sensible decision for you and your family and hopefully you won't put yourself through any unnecessary anguish about it.

Sorry to all who are ttc without much success. Fingers crossed for you all!

Need to go find the lemsip - S in bed, DH en route home from London and my plan is to die on the sofa!

Sponge - I know how much you wanted bf to work this time for you but I really think you're doing the right thing. The 1st time I had mastitis was with Stefan , so there was only him to look after , but if I hadn't heard something about the symptoms from a neighbour I would have thought I was dying. I had the shakes etc in the night, couldn't get out of bed, dh had to drive to the local hospital for antib's from the out of hours dr whilst I was praying that Stefan wouldn't wake up whilst he was gone - it was awful. I never had it that bad again because I knew the early symptoms and would fight for the antibiotics! Getting it this early is such bad luck and I couldn't imagine now the stress of it all with Alex as well in the equation.(((hugs))))

Let's think of the positives for you

• you and dh(just you and dh) can share the feeds
• you won't worry continually in public that you have a huge wet patch on your front
• you won't flood your marital bed with milk every night
• you won't squirt your dh in the eye with milk during sex in said marital bed(even after you've given up bfeeding)
• your boobs will withold gravity for longer

if some of those don't make you feel any better well as Rolf says you do have great cheekbones

BDQ - you've given me your cold and I have become progressively snotty as the day wore on - thanks

Rolf - no, he didn't go back to sleep, the boy who always sleeps for 2 hours in the day, today slept for about 35 minutes. And I''m on my own and full of a cold, life is not fair. I loved your cheekbone comment to Sponge - classic.

Going2 - E isn't talking much either, Dada, Mama, then Dada again for lots of other words and Hiya on the phone

to all those ttc - get what help you can and hurry up, I love looking at newborn photos! Seriously though, I hope it works for you all soon.

BDQ and Deb - hope you both feel better soon.

And good luck to all those ttc. I hope it happens soon for all of you.

I have caught the thread's cold too. Early stages at the moment, just sitting on the back of my throat.

Sponge so sorry you feel so ill. Like others I think you are taking the right course of action. Last year a friend of mine in a very similar situation (2nd DC, 2 under 2, FF DC1) decided to stop BF after a few days, and they were all immediately very much happier for it. She didn't have mastitis to contend with either. Lots of hugs for a speedy recovery so that you can savour these early days.

Wisley was really good this afternoon, I bought a massive squash/pumpkin. DH is suitably unimpressed at the idea of veggie meals all week.

Sponge - I found mastitis bloody awful, and I don't think I had it as bad as you, and I didn't have a toddler running about so lots of sympathy and hope you are feeling better soon. It sounds like you are doing the right thing about the bf to me.

I hope I haven't given you all my cold, it's been a weird lingering thing where for weeks I've felt like I was coming down with something but it never really came on properly but just made me feel rubbish all the time then it seemed to go to my stomach and made me feel hungry then nauseous and gave me diarrhoea, lovely. Think it is the same thing that J has had this weekend. He seems to be better now but did make himself sick at dinner time by sticking his fingers in his mouth trying to retrieve a clementine pip!

I'm sending conception vibes to all of those ttc, hope it works out for you all.

Spider - I have a squash in the kitchen waiting to be eaten, I made some squash soup last week that came out really well so thinking of trying to recreate it. I put the tiniest bit of paprika in it so it had a slight warming taste but wasn't spicy. Soup seems to have been a success with J, I try and leave some chunks in it and give him lots of bread to mop it up.

p.s. sponge i love the picture on face book of your DH cuddling Michael on his bare chest (right after birth?). We did that with both of our boys as soon as we could and it is really a special memory for me.

I am actually an HR bod, but I used to work with some very stupid people that got promoted just by climbing up senior bottoms. The girl I mentioned (co policy overrules EU legislation) was one such example. I have no regrets in leaving, but there really are some great HR people out there - usually the down trodden ones!

Deb - Gonna look at booking shipping this week. Planning on taking quite a bit cos it works out cheaper, but not moving house. The first week or two will be in ILs - these are our other options at first. NOT a lot of choice or exactly luxurious, but not expensive either.

Love the sound of Ethan falling asleep in your arms. It's so rare as they get older, I love it every time. Seriously, I am getting so broody!!! LOL at Sybils suggestion that getting pregnant will improve my social life in NZ. Looking forward to any flight tips you get too Sybil.

Abdn - That is a lovely coat. Practical and stylish. Cost per wear with coats works out pretty good. (I use the same argument with jeans, but forget all about it when it comes to party dresses ). Treasure hunts sound brilliant.

Amber - Any news on the house, did it go through today? (Sorry about the test) Impressed with Luke's talking. No consistency here. Ry occasionally comes out with whole sentences (put me down!) and then I have to wait 2 or 3 days for a Mummy.

Spider - Re: coat for Peter, we've been given a couple of Gap ones for Ryder and they are great. So warm and snuggly.

Abdn - Did you find a pressie?

Abdn - I saw that photo of Sponge's dh with Michael, I thought aah how lovely, we didn't do that, then my next thought was - don't show Nigel or he'll be after me having another so that he can experience a newborn n to skin straight after the birth!

Sponge so sorry to hear your news but I think you have definitely done the right thing. Mastitus is hideous and you deserve to enjoy this time, not just be stressed and ill.

J has been a little fiend today. He hasn't eaten well and only slept for about 30 minutes. We went to Tumble tots and he was a monster, pushing the other kids and bursting into tears all the time which is just not like him. Now he has started with a snotty noise so I think he has probably got a virus and that's the problem. Hopefully he will get it all out of the way before we go abroad at the weekend.

Rolf - I had a reasonably good set up at work when I first went back. Mon & Tues 8-4pm in the office, Weds & Thurs 8-4pm at home, Fridays off. DH taking care of Ryder. It was only for the first month though and I usually ended up working at home in the evenings too.

KTPie - Serious practise going into dancing here too.

Sponge - Sorry that the feeding didn't work out quite as planned, you have done everything you can. You've got to be in good health to be able to look after Alex and Michael so hoping that you feel better very soon. Totally agree that feeding should just be you and DH at first - love the idea of sending anyone else into the kitchen to wash the bottles. You do have lovely cheekbones BTW.

Don't watch Strictly, but completely agree that Bruce and Anton should be fired.

BDQ - Cold been and gone within 48 hours here after lots and lots of lemsip and cough medicine. Fingers crossed for a similarly quick recovery for you too.

KT - Soup most definitely not a success here...well, not in terms of lunch anyway. If you look at it as an attempt to redecorate, then it was marginally more successful.

Went into Bank to have lunch with old work colleagues today and to have my final occupational health assessment. Had quite a laugh and got an early birthday pressie too. Might sound silly, but it really is a sign of how far I have come this year (and that I am back to normal now) because I wasn't able to go to previous assessments without DH driving me and coming with me, let alone consider meeting anyone else.

Got heating on tonight, it may be a bit of overkill but is lovely.

Hope J gets over his virus quickly, Sybil.

I've just put our heating on too, and I've lit a fire as well. I suddenly became unbearably cold. I'm stupidly proud of myself as DH is very good at making fires and I am not very good, so always get him to do it. We have a woodburner in our kitchen and it's crackling away as I type.

Rolf - Well done! DH taught me to make a fire a few years ago and I am always stupidly proud when I do it too!

Glad it wasn't me who started this cold after all deb. . Thanks all for sympathy - here's hoping i kill it off with night nurse and lemsip tomo.

Head hurts too much to post anymore so will bid you all goodnight!

Thank you for all your lovely comments - you made me well up . Oh, and thanks for all the lovely comments about my cheekbones too - they're even better when not covered in a layer of fat!

Deb, thanks for your lists of positives although I had to LMAO at the thought of sex - think it will be some time to come before we have the energy for that .

Yes, skin to skin with dh was about 30 mins after M was born - he did the same with A too. Our local hospital are very into skin to skin with dad as well as mum, and dh loved it . I love the idea of Nigel wanting another baby just to have skin to skin with a newborn!

pp, you sound on top form girl - really hope we get to meet up again before you disappear to the Promised Land .

I'm starting to feel much better - temp down and fever/shivering seems to have stopped. ABs definitely working. Sympathies to all those who have suffered - it really was hell. Neenz, interesting to hear that I may be more at risk cos of it coming on so early. Certainly the MWs were gobsmacked to find me in bed with mastitis 12 hrs after my milk had come in . Dh and I were saying today that we started our quest to have a family 6 1/2 years ago and the only easy thing about it has been M's conception and that probably only lasted 20 mins tbh!

Oh, we have the heating on too - the nights are getting cold!

PumpkinProject - those houses look cheap but I don't know the exchange rate, are they near your dh's family? And what's a sleepout? Shed with a bed? Like Sponge says you are sounding really well, looks like this huge move is definitely the right thing for you.And you're right it was a rare thing to have Ethan fall asleep inmy arms!

Rolf I want to be in your kitchen in front of the woodburner - it's cold here too and it sounds so cosy there.

Sponge - have just spoken to Nigel(he's at his Mums) and told him about your photo - you can tell we've been together forever - he said exactly what I predicted!!!Glad you're feeling better too.

Off to bed now, Maltesers and episode 2 of Emma haven't helped my cold. N Night everyone.

That's really sweet about you and Nigel, Deb . Hope you feel better tomorrow.

It's lovely a toasty in here. I can't really justify having the heating on when I have the woodburner as well, but I was freeeezing. Actually, being freezing and hair loss (still going on ) are a symptom of an underractive thyroid aren't they? Is anyone here knowledgeable about such things? I don't think I could blame weight gain on my thyroid. I think the heaps of chocolate might have something to do with it!

Neenz I've been loitering on the twins thread to see how Bagpuss is getting on. I know her from ante/post natal threads with our DC3s. She had completed her family and became unexpectedly pregnant with twins!! A very loopy and hormonal part of me is a bit jealous!