Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

hello all. been lurking, but wanted to let you know we have bitten the proverbial and are paying a thumping lot of money to millpond and have our initial consultation for sleep next week. gulp.

oh, and had a lovely walk with spot yesterday - she seems v well (if sleep deprived), T is a darling (if temporarily snotty) boy, and they shall be moving to brighton jolly soon. i'm sure she'll post as and when she has time.

so sorry for those feeling low - me, too, at times, hence millpond.

i start back at work in a couple of weeks (only one day a week, i know) and have to get together a my scheme of work and lesson plans now. ugh.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and words of wisdom, especially those of you unfortunate enough to have experience of all this kind of malarkey. It is just starting to sink in but I think it will take a while. Meanwhile I'm helping to organise the funeral music and have started a thread for suggestions so music lovers head here (and while I'm at it I have another thread on bfing & blood donation here if anyone has any thoughts on the matter).

trace great to hear P is feeling better.

syb sorry you're feeling down. Hope things pick up soon.

LadyT Ornamentgate! Love it! It has receded into the background yes but I've a feeling we haven't heard the last of it...

Veggie DS2's poo sounds like a masterpiece worthy of the Tate Modern.

daisy DP has just bought the Outwell Nevada XL on ebay (haven't used it yet as it's at my dad's until we go up there next). We had a £60 6-man Aldi tent before that which was crap and on our last camping trip DP got a serious case of tent envy and has been obsessing about tents ever since. By the way we went to this campsite a couple of months ago and it was brilliant - dead easy for you to get to, on a lake, cheap and geared up for families.

Welcome back SL. Spill about the holiday - you know how we all love a good MIL rant on here. Loved the Derren Brown story. Never seem to get round to watching him on telly but when I do I must admit I find him very intriguing. I find the whole subject of hypnosis fascinating and even part trained to be a clinical hypnotherapist once upon a time. Maybe I'll take it up again one day, who knows. Enjoy your trip.

JB I have also caught DD waving to dogs. I often remember when DS was about this age pushing him around Barcelona and him leaning right out of his pram offering his half-eaten apple to passers by.

Glad to hear Spot is well wg. Good luck with the sleep consultant.

DD also loves being on her feet too even does a bit of teeny tiny cruising along the furniture when the mood takes her. Will have to dig our walker thing out soon.

Just a quickie from me but just wanted to beam out a 'gloves up' to Syb and a bon voyage to Summer. You deserve a small prize for going on hols with the MIL...

Back soon

Hello!!!

I passed my theory test!!!!!

Dad is due to arrive any minute so won't be on for a few days probably.

Hope you all have nice weekends

Well done Kayz! Your on the home stretch now!

WG hooray for sleep in the iminent future! When is she booked in? Oh and returning to work, one day a week sounds nice to me. If this Amsterdam thing falls through I think I might do some very very casual one day a week type work.

SL I'm with PD don't tease us, just give us a little snippet of her behaviour. Please.

DS1 never used to wave at animals but he used to talk to cats. He would tell any cat he would meet his name at that I was his mummy. He would then have a little chat about his day. Sometimes he would come up to me afterwards a bit sad and say 'that cat misses his mummy'.

Wow about the DH Derren Brown connection. I find it all very intriguing. But I love that it all has an explanation, I just can rarely work it out.

Oh gotta go trying to get DS2 to sleep but he's in a mood, his front teeth are just about to break through and he's grissley.

Hello everyone. How are you all doing? I've been loitering around and having a read and it has been so lovely to catch up on all your news. Obviously, so much to write about, so forgive me if I just say hello and hope you're all really happy.

All well here. DD is a cracker. Usually a v good sleeper (although teething tonight, so a bit whingy as she tries to get to sleep).

I have missed you all and am off on holiday for a week tomorrow, but thought I'd touch base before I go and send you all my love and all the best wishes possible.

Beans xxx

PS Have added a recent photo off DD on my profile if you fancy a peek. xx

Beans!!! Hello! I was thinking about you the other day actually. Lovely to hear that you and dd are well Do pop on and say Hi when you can - no need to feel you need to keep up . Hope you have a fab holiday.

P has turned the corner today . She slept from 9-11, woke up and ate some mushed up broccoli and cheese sauce, went back to bed at 12 and slept till 3.15, and woke up with a grizzle and then a smile! Hurray! I've really missed her smile. Then she has really perked up and even played with her toys for a few minutes, eaten a bit of tea, had a bath and a BF and has gone back to bed, and her temp is normal at the moment! I'm so relieved and happy to see her coming back to being herself!

We were all supposed to be going to a wedding in London tomorrow but I have bailed out with P so DH is taking Lu on his own. I just don't want P to have to sit in the car for 4 hours each way when she's been so poorly. Weddings are not the easiest things for keeping a little one entertained/fed/rested at times that suit them so I'm taking the easy way out and staying home
Congrats Kayz on the theory!
right I'm going to settle down with a book and some chocolate and give myself an early night - fingers crossed that I don't have to sit up with Phoebe for most of the night tonight...

hope you all have good nights.

oh and Thanks WG for passing on about Spot. I'd just got a bit worried that something had happened because she's not been on for ages.

Veggie - Same here with the front teeth about to break through. I am losing my mind with the low grade grizzling and whingeing all day!

Luckily I'm off out tonight with my local mums group. We meet up all the time during the day but this is our first night out for cocktails. Better dash before the teething monster wakes up so that DH is stuck dealing with him!

Hi Beans!

oh Beans she's beautiful

Thanks Trace - I will do!

I'm really looking forward to my holiday. Think DH and I need a bit of a break as a family - sometimes find that we argue more than we laugh these days! xxxx

Oh thanks Trace! Cross posted - sorry! I think she is too. I've had a beak at your photos too - GORGEOUS! Makes me want to have more and more nippers!
x

Bye all - have a smashing week. Will check in on return.
Big love x

Hello everyone,

beans Hello! Lovely to hear from you. Hope you'll be popping in more often in the future. Any of the old gang still out there? mibbes, hatty etc.

kayz Congrats, almost there now.

trace I'm so relieved to hear P is on the mend. It sounded just awful for her and very scary for you. Hope you get a good night tonight.

WG How does the sleep clinic work, do they visit you at home? I know how you feel on the work front, ugh indeed. Glad to hear spot is OK. Very jealous of her move to sunny Brighton!

Work are being buggers and say I need to come up for two whole days. I'm not sure what to do at all. I know DD will be fine but I will be missing her like crazy. I'd be away from before she gets up one morning to after she goes to bed the next day. I could resign and let DH know by cc-ing him into the email . Bloody work. Would digging my heels in and making my case again be stupid do you think? In my email and just said I'd rather not stay overnight but didn't give a reason.

DYLAN JUST WALKED!!!!!!!!!!!

Only 2 teeny tiny steps but steps all the same!! He is 9 months old tomorrow!!!

Hooray Kayz I responded to your facebook status and nearly added 'quick ring your MIL!' but thought maybe someone on there may know her.

BEANS so wonderful to hear from you, are you on facebook?

Oh gotta go the Derren Brown thing is on.

Damn Derren Brown, he's playing with my mind!

Trace I'm so pleased to hear P smiled but sorry you will both miss the wedding, not worth the risk of her picking something else up and she's still got some recovering to do.

JB that's really very difficult but I think if you feel like you want to push it you should. Can you speak to someone in HR. Have they explained why it is so important? I think you should say why, it would not be seen as something they can't work with would it IYSWIM?

When in this society did we go wrong, when did we decide that work is more inmportant than our children. I find it sad that so many employers have this attitude. I was listening to the radio today and they were saying that child benefit and other benefits should be cut, because the country is in so much debt. Now don't get me wrong, I think in some cases child benefit is unnecessary, I think it should be means tested but we spent all that money bailing out the bank bosses etc why should families have to pay for that bail out.

C'mon Kimi are you watching the tennis Kayz?

Aw Kayz that's great

My DS sort of took some steps on his own for the first time a few days ago too. He's always been really good at standing and I've been helping him walk around for months but always had to sort of help him with his legs. So it was really exciting the other day when he just started moving his legs to walk himself! Only thing is - he still can't crawl (!) Supposedly I just went straight to walking when I was his age, so perhaps he'll bypass crawling too.

Trace I'm so glad to hear P is feeling better! I've been so worried that J would catch my cold, but thank goodness I think he seems to have escaped it Mushed broccoli with cheese sauce sounds yummy too, I might try that with DS as he's turning up his nose at steamed broccoli florets.

Veggie I love your 'cat whisperering' DS - that is so utterly gorgeous!

Must get on with the housework... DH has taken DS out so I can vaccum in peace. Then the dishes need doing. But strangely I don't mind a bit of housework on the weekend as DH does all the washing and most of the caring for DS, so I reckon I've got the easy jobs!

Smooches to y'all

Bisou Dylan can't crawl either. I think he will go straight to walking around.

Off to watch the tour of Britain today. Really hope to see Bradley Wiggins.

Have good weekends all of you!!

Morning all!
I've been reading but have had no time to comment this week ! but trace I am very glad P is better, I felt so worried for you, it is so horrible when they are that ill. DS1 got tonsillitis really badly and we had to take him to AE twice as he collapsed. I hope you are all getting some rest...
Veggie I'm with you on the work thing. I am horrifed by what has happened to LadyT, Invis and others, I think we still live in the dark ages in that respect. I've said it before, but I often think being a parent makes you a better employee; my manager would agree. I went back after DS1 all determined and with better multitasking organising skills. And this time I seem to have grown some balls and got assertive. Dont know why that happened but it can only be a good thing LadyT I'm sure retrospectively what happened may turn out to be a good thing when you find a new and interesting career direction. When I left uni, I wanted to be an archaeologist, I couldnt get a job in it so got one as an unskilled scientist instead. Not getting that job as an archaeologist was about the best thing that happened to me (retrospectively of course).

Kayz there is a boy at nursery who is 9-10 months who can walk. He is a bit of a kamikazee though, if he sees something he wants, he walks straight to it, no matter who (or what) is in the way. Quite funny to watch. DS2 does not really crawl (a little bit of bum shuffling/commando) and I am glad, as this means I dont have to put the stair gate up/worry what he has got into/worry about him starting fights with DS1 by interefing in his road building

I've been talking to some friends who have also given birth at the same hospital recently and all of us have recieved the same level of care; disinterest and very hard to actually get onto the labour ward, fantastic once you are there. But a friend of mine was given extremely conflicting advice by doctors and midwives in a potentially dangerous situation, and two of my friends were refused entry to the labour ward until it was too late for pain relief. These were all second babies. Mine was induced, a fairly horrible experience, not so much because of the pain, but the lack of privacy and understanding by the midwives on that ward. They refused to examine me, and fobbed me off with paracetemol until DH insisted, and then they just said "You should be on the labour ward now, yes", as if I didnt know, FGS! And then they made me walk, yes, walk, upstairs while I was having contractings about 10-20 seconds apart. Then they tried to force me to break my waters (as thats what they do, in an induced labour, they said, despite the fact that labour was obviously progressing), and my DH had to argue with the head midwife, (who hadnt been to see me, that I needed an epidural, as she said I didnt). In the end my labour progressed so quickly that when they gave it to me I was 8-9cm anyway and it didnt work, but I had to ask 3 times. But the reason i asked for it was that I'd had a long and difficult labour with DS1 and was frightened it would be the same. I'd had counselling at the hospital for that, and they promised me that as a second time mum I'd be listened to, but of course that didnt happen.

Anyway, I just wondered, it seems to be not just my experience that is like this. Since when was the cost of a room and pain relief more important than the physical and emotional wellbeing of the mum ? Their attitude is clearly "Well the outcome of a heathly baby is the same, so what happens to the mum doesnt matter too much".

Next time (if there is one) I will have a home birth, if possible. If I'd have known labour would be that short, I wouldnt have bothered arguing about the pain relief.

Sorry, rant over, but the same thing has just happened to one of my friends and it makes me angry

Sorry trace it was last year DS1 got tonsillits, not this week ! I was just saying I know how worrying it is, I'm sorry.

Congratulations on the theory test Kayz, half way there now! But OMG at walking - I'm still in shock at the standing babies, and now you give me this!
Beans its so lovely to hear from you and see your beautiful DD. Have a great holiday. And Summer too, the Pyrenees are beautiful, I'm quite envious
Sorry to hear you're down Sybil, I hope your lovely DCs help to through it. And don't forget to rant if you need to

So pleased to hear that P is eating and smiling again Trace, how was she last night?

Good luck with the sleep consultant WG, let us know how you get on. Hopefully as successfully as Arti

NJAN I'm really shocked by your experience, and your friends too. Surely for the baby to recieve the best care, the mother needs to be in top condition, physically and mentally?

Jolly could you explain to work why you're not keen so soon, when you're still getting used to being away from DD during the day? But offer to go in a couple of months once you're settled?

I'm sure I had more to say, so hi to anyone I've forgotten. DD and I are going gardening cause its gorgeous here. Oh yes, Mom how were the cocktails?

Evening all. Have had a lovely day at the park. We cycled there with DS1 on the trailgator attaching his bike to DH's and DS2 on the bike seat on my bike, so finally no trailor. We will still use it for longer rides but it is nice finally for shorter rides to be able to keep them compact. I have the equipment to have them both on my bike DS2 on the front and DS1 on the back but I'm not yet confident balance wise to do that so sil wait a bit longer. What a lovely day today so sunny and it's nearly the middle of September. I'm a bit worried that it will be hot tomorrow my race starts at midday so right at the hottest part if the day (they always do that to the women's heats). But as long as I don't look too horrendous in my tri suit and don't come last I'll be happy.

NJAN are you considering making a formal complaint, I would. I'm actually all for having to ask for pain relief rather than bring offered it and there definitely seems to be a trend lately away from coercing women into having epidurals however your not the first person lately who I have heard had to beg for an epidural. Good on you for thinking about a homebirth, but I should warn you the most you can have as far as pain relief is gas&air and a pethidine injection. Though I have to say at the birth center for DS1 I was sucking back the G&A but at home I didn't really need it so not sure if there is less pain at home.

I'm not sure if anyone fancies a inlaw story but SIL called DH yesterday and apart from talking to him for half an hour during his work day tying up his work line. She told him that one of her neighbours who sometimes has her DS1 over to play (more like babysitting though) has sad that he can't come over anymore because their housekeeper has complained that she doesn't want him in the house when she is there. This women didn't elaborate but SIL is up in arms about it and thinks the housekeeper is very rude to say this. I have to say I'm not surprised, when her DS1 was here recently I was in a room with DS2 asleep on my lap he walked in a said very softly could he maybe go outside or be as quiet as possible as I wanted DS2 to sleep, to which he looked at my DS1 and said 'let's make lots of noise!' and started setting off the vtech baby walker noisey buttons. Poor DS1 knew better than to make noise if DS2 is asleep so he went outside but of course poor DS2 woke up with a scream. There were other things like, he pointed out a spider in the garden and I said 'oh we like spiders they protect our plants from bugs' so he turned around and killed the spider, and he said a few quite nasty things to our DS1. So I imagine this women is trying to clean to house and be probably does his best to make it difficult. The thing that struck DH & I though, is SIL somehow thought that as this women is a housekeeper she is therefore a subordinate and has no right to complain about her son. I don't know if I'm a little sensitive about talk like that because after my dad died my mum supported us for while as a cleaner, but I just think it's her job why should she have to put up with something that is getting in the way of her job, whether it's a lawyer working from home or a journalist at home who are interrupted by him or the cleaner, the job you do shouldnt make you less allowed to voice a complaint.

Anyway DH actually thinks it's not the housekeeper at all he thinks the neighbour just doesn't want him at her house anymore.

Ohh, sorry veggie that was a self obessesed post - I hope your race goes well tomorrow. BTW, have you tried a balance bike for the boys ? we bought an Islabike for DS1 a few weeks back and he never gets off it and can balance really well now and is very confident. This is great as we can cycle together and may go to the forest for a ride tomorrow.

I'm jealous of everyone on holiday, I wish I was....

Re the birth experience, my friend has told me today she has been advised by the HV to make a complaint, so I might as well. I feel I could handle the pain next time, being as I made it through most of the labour on G and A this time, and wonder if not having the stress of the hospital experience would make it a bit easier at home anyway. (there may well never be a next time anyway, once my hormones have settled down )

Why are you saying sorry NJAN? Were you self obsessed, I didn't think you were. We have one of those balance bikes but the balance problem is actually about me. We just got a new bike seat for DS1 that goes on the back of my bike and will be good for him until he is 10 (not that he'll still be using it then). It goes on the back of my bike so he sits just behind me. DS1 can now use DS1's old seat that is in front of me on the crossbar. However, it really changes the balance of the bike having a heavy DS1 on the back so I want to get used to riding with him on there a bit longer before I put the both of them on together. The last time I rode with DS1 on the front was just before I got pregnant so he was 2.5 years so he has gained a bit since then and is quite a bit taller. I think I just need to feel a bit more confident with his extra weight but I was surprised at how unbalanced the bike felt. I don't want to put teeny DS2 on when I feel so unbalanced I'd be a wreck.