Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

Hello all. Mainly just lurking as we're having lots of fun in Berlin, lots of running (DD has seen a lot of our local track ) and lots of walking and culture. The trouble with this thread is you miss a few days and there are pages to work through and I am incapable of remembering who wrote which post.. so, just a general wave to you all and apologies for having the memory of a stunned goldfish.

Bum I just wrote a big post but touched the wrong thing on this bloody itouch and lost the whole lot.

Will attempt a recap.

Tilly what is your course tomorrow? And do you think DS's will be watching cbeebies for much of the day?

PD meant to say the other day, how on earth would a 2 yr old know an ornament would break. We surround them in an unbreakable world these days, DS didn't see anything break until he was nearly 3 and would have had no concept of how it happened. It's a bit like ZJ's mum thinking MissZJ doesn't like her. Why do GP's assign feelings and emotions to their GC's that they can't even understand let alone express.

Well I can add blueberries to the long list of food DS2 will happily shove in his gob. I opened a punnet today then took a phonecall and whilst on the phone he stuffed in half of em!

Hi KP is Berlin warm?

veggie, its physical skills so practicing talking people through relaxation scripts, contractions etc. I think dh is planning on taking them to the usual playgroup we go to, all the mums are on lookout for him . I'm not sure about the tv, we'll see!

kiwi, glad you're enjoying your holiday!

Hello everyone! We're back from our long sojourn in Canada. I think I posted at the beginning of the trip moaning about how terrible it all was? Luckily things got much better and the second half was lovely! So great to have so much help from family.

Really, the major improvement came once sleep got better. The first few weeks of our trip were hideous sleepwise. WG and Trace and others in a dodgy sleep phase, I feel for you. I really started to lose the plot when DS was around 7-7.5 months. Had had enough of the terrible nights. I think it hit home when my friend's doctor told her that she needed a minimum of 4 hours sleep IN A ROW in order to function. I can count on two hands the number of times I had 4 hours in a row in the first 7.5 months of DSs life.

But, luckily, we had the wisdom of Mrs Sleep via Arti and we are satisfied customers! . Followed the plan to the letter, and it seemed to work. Am sure it will all go tits up any day, but for the last month or so we have had very good nights. A number of 12 hours in a row, and lots with just a couple of wake ups in the evening. Many 5:00 am starts, but I don't mind those if I haven't been up in between. Shutting the milk bar down overnight has really helped because even if he does peep, DH can go in half the time. I think DS was ready to go all night without feeding...I tried a bottle for night feeds for a few nights before we started the Mrs Sleep plan and nary a drop passed his lips. Plus BFing back to sleep overnight seemed to have stopped working...he was up for 1-1.5 hours in the middle of the night regularly. Something had to give!

Though since we've been back, naps have gone haywire and I bet the bad naps will start wrecking my good nights any day now...but after a few weeks of good sleep at least I feel like I can cope.

Have tried to keep up and catch up but have failed. Will be more diligent from here on!

Thanks daisy and veggie, I feel better knowing you don't think I'm mad . I've emailed requesting we meet in one day so we'll have to see what they say. No idea why they decided 2 days daisy, I'm slightly suspicious it was on purpose to see how committed I am. Not very .

Oooh veggie how very exciting. I went to Maastrict for a conference once and I was so impressed with the netherlanders ability to speak so many languages. Everyone seemed to speak 3 or 4 languages. I was rather at my own lack of ability.

Oh and watch out for the blue poo. DD had one after munching on blueberries and it was strikingly blue.

Enjoy your training tilly, should be fun for your DH!

kiwi Glad you are enjoying Berlin, having much currywurst?!

I'm soooo tired tonight, early night for me I think. Night all.

to mom, great to see you back! Hope those naps settle down soon.

Veggie - My DS is obsessed with blueberries too. His nappies are the oddest colour now due to the number of blueberries he eats. Can't tell if he likes the taste or if he just likes the challenge of getting them in! I am giving him peas and corn kernels now and he spends ages chasing each one around with his shaky little pincer grip.

My DS favourite new trick this week is that he hands me back the feeding spoon to reload, rather than just chucking it on the floor. We make such a fuss that he has now started handing everything over and waiting to hear "THANK you! Good boy! What a clever boy!" Gets a bit old after he has handed over the same rotten orange peel 6 times.

Has anyone seen these feeding spoons here, by the way? They are fantastic! www.cheekymonkey.ca/BabyHuman.htm

Tilly I did get some rest. DS1 wanted me to lie on the sofa with him at about 12 and all 3 of us slept 12-2!! It was so nice but being at work tonight has just shattered me again. I think if I was busy at least it would be better. But because it is so quiet it just knackers me.

Meeting a MN friend for lunch tomorrow. She has just started her ML and we planned this ages ago. DS1 can't wait to see her but she is a bit bigger than the last time we saw her so no chasing him.

Hope you all are well.

Oh mom that spoon looks great I'm gonna see if they have them here in the UK. Spoon feeding porridge etc is a little tricky as DS2 is BLW and is used to picking things up he likes the idea of eating with his spoon but does not like my hand holding the spoon he wants to feed himself but gets frustrated as he can get the food in his belly as quickly with finger foods. I think if he could work at himself with the spoon it would help. We have started making the porridge a bit thicker and he sometimes puts his fist in and then eats it from his hand but that's not really a long term solution.

Gosh Kayz sounded like you needed that sleep. I know what you mean about if it's not busy, when I did nights if I was busy I always felt wide awake but if it was quiet I could hardly keep my eyes open.

Tilly that sounds good, I loved my different posies during birth.

Right gotta go time for foot massage.

JB good luck with trying to avoid the overnighter. I had a similar problem when bfing DS and work wanted me to go on an overnighter for a training course. After much arguing and a Sex discrim grievance (after my line manager at the time told me I needed to pick between a career and children ) they ended up paying for DP and DS tol stay in the hotel with me! I think they were just terrified I would pursue a tribunal claim about those comments and gave in. Legally it can be a grey area. What does your contract say? Does it have a clause that you may have to work elsewhere if required (mine does)? If it does you could still argue that the requirement disadvantages more women than men (because they tend to have more childcare responsibilities) and it is therefore indirect sex discrimination. Hopefully it can get sorted with a quick chat instead of heading down a legal route though. I'm so frustrated with work at the moment as we have a smart teleconferencing thingummy that never gets used, they prefer to spend thousand sending us all round the country for meetings. I dropped out of the interviews for my dream job as despite asking for an interview time that meant I was home in Newcastle for 7pm at the latest they gave me one at 3:30. for a 2 hour interview. in London. aaargh. I feel really bad about dropping out as I kind of feel I should be fighting this sort of thing so DD never has to put up with it. I was just so sick of having to fight constantly though.

Oh sorry that turned into a bit of a me winge. If you do need any help feel free to give me a shout.

trace its great that work going well but sorry P not so good. Both DD and DS got ill as soon as I returned after mat leave. hope she better now.

veggie how exciting, we shall all be wanting to come and visit you!

Veggie - If they don't have those feeding sticks here, I can get a bunch sent over from Canada and ship them around. We use them for every single meal for porridge, yoghurt, etc. DS is BLW as well and does not tolerate me feeding him at all! Oh, and congrats on the Amsterdam opportunity! Sounds fabulous!

Hi back Jolly and others!

So many work dilemnas for everyone. I work for a children's charity, so they are a little bit easier to deal with than some employers. But still lots of room to better accomodate working parents. I am going to start my own company and only hire mums as we all know they are bl*&dy hardworking, multitasking superhumans!

Hi everyone, how are you all? I?ve been lurking but not got round to posting for a while, so bear with me as I catch up ? hope I don?t forget anything or anyone

Sorry to hear that there are some poorly mummies and babies out there ? I hope you all get better quickly

It was lovely to read how much you enjoy your new job Trace , and that P is also happy at nursery, so much fun to be had! I hope you?ve sorted tomorrow out? And Effie too, hurrah for good days at work

LadyT and Invisible bummer and double bummer about your employers. I hope you get sorted quickly one way or another Invisible and it doesn?t drag on. And LadyT I hope you?ll be happier out of there, as it wouldn?t have been a happy office to go back to, but its such a shame nothing could be worked out so you could stay where you must have enjoyed working for the last 12 years

I went into work today, to discuss going back and my request for flexible working. I was expecting a big fat no, so was surprised that we had a (brief) discussion and they?ve offered to come back to me next week with a counter proposal. I also had a nosy round the new offices ? they are completely open plan, very nice and light but I?ve never worked in that environment before although everyone said that is was easy to get used to. However when I told them I was still BF, and asked if there would be somewhere to express if that is still the case when I get back, I was told no (there are no meeting rooms or any private areas at all, only the toilets and lift ) as they?d have to do building work to accommodate it. I thought they had to provide a space for me if I needed it, so unsure what to do about it as I don?t want them to decide when I stop BF. Today was the longest I?ve been away from DD, but I enjoyed the chance to have lunch with my workmates and have a chat about something other than babies (as much as I love talking about DD, I do worry I?ve forgotten how to talk about anything but her). She was very good for MIL apparently ? although MIL is so polite, DD could have burnt down her house and tortured her cats and she?d still say she?d been a poppet! But the best bit of the whole day was when I got home, I got a lovely cuddle from DD ? she?s not a cuddly baby and the best I normally get is being bounced on, so I enjoyed every second of it

Thanks for the nappy changing/pinning down tip Spiggy, it works a treat

LadyT do you have any pics of being Bahrain you can post? I?d love to see it! And thanks for the new word ? I will try my best to use myrmidon in conversation tomorrow

Yay for having lady B for your DD Jump ? what a relief! Can I ask, those using CM?s, what made you choose CM over nurseries? We?ve only looked at nurseries so far, and although we?ve found one we like, I?m wondering if I should compare it with CM?s just in case ? Oh, and Jump, have a lovely time in France ? where have you gone? I love France, especially the south

Trace I?m alternating between normal bras and feeding bras, one day each ? just in case the wires aren?t good for me because very few of my normal bras fit

On food, DD loves cheese, spaghetti Bolognese, cheese, eggy bread soldiers, cheese, ratatouille, cheese, cauliflower cheese, cheese, cake, nectarines, cheese, melon, cheese, plums and did I mention cheese? I like the idea of corn on the cob ? Veggie do you just give a bit of cob to gum on, or do you cut off the sweetcorn? The only food that DD has rejected is weetabix, which got spat out (to be fair, I want to spit weetabix out too!) and trout, which got fished out and thrown on the floor, oh, and she?s gone off scrambled eggs at the moment and just pins her lips together

Veggie I am mighty impressed at your excitement about the possible Amsterdam move. If something like that happened to us I?d use it as an excuse not to take the opportunity, but you seem to relish it

LadyT I must have missed when you said about your DH?s book. When you say google that sport and penguins, do you mean the birds or the publishers? I?ve found a book by LB, would that be the one?

Grr at the IL?s Daisy, could you invite them to yours in the evening on Christmas Day, so they?d look like the ungracious ones if they refuse? I hope the police sorted out the pickled onion problem

PD I would be very miffed at the slapping. IMO I want to be the one to discipline DD, and wouldn?t like others doing it ? by all means tell me if she?s been naughty so I can sort it, but don?t do it themselves. I hope your brother gets good news tomorrow, you must be having a tense evening tonight? And so to read of those who witnessed violence when they were young

Jolly who?s idea was the overnight trip? Someone senior, or is it just that it is more convenient for your cover? If the latter, then you are definitely not being unreasonable. If the former, then still not unreasonable ? but maybe a little harder to challenge them on. Hope you manage to change it

Welcome home Mom, so pleased to hear that your stay picked up

Oh, and I keep forgetting to say that when we looked at the nursery we?d like DD to go to, there was a little girl there called Tilly ? she was very nice, just like our Tilly

At the weekend, DD?s cousins came down. Until now her younger cousin (2 and a bit) has not been interested in DD, because until now she?s been pretty boring. But this weekend she suddenly started to pay attention to her. At one point when DD was playing on her own, her cousin went over with her Peppa Pig and started chatting away to DD ?do you like Peppa Pig? She?s my favourite, would you like to play with her for a while??, in the end she wandered off looking a bit miffed that DD hadn?t answered any of her questions. It was so sweet

Right, I have waffled for plenty long enough so I must go and do some paperwork that I?d promised DH I help him with ? oh joy. Night everyone

Hello, just wanted to say hi, but very quickly as scrolling through and typing from this teeny blackberry is exasperating!
Veggie! Wow! Can't wait for the meet up at your house!I hope your Dh gets the deal he wants! Yay!
Oh and ds was 8.5kg at his recent check too. He is 73cm tall so very long and thin but he looks fine and scoffs his food too these days!
Ages ago I ordered a "wriggle wrapper"(too difficult to post link on the phone!) can I just say its freakin brilliant!!! He loves it! I love it! It goes on any chair! He can't move! pure genius! Anyway, Kirstie and Phil had their work cut out for them!
Are you there lady? Are you feeling any better?
Hello momormum! Nice to see you again!

Oh I hate posting on the phone! Had more to say but now too tired and posted too early by mistake! Hello kiwi hi tilly, jolly, daisy and sorry everyone I missed! This phone is awful for this! Poison enjoy your trip!!!

Eh what trip?? Honestly I feel like I'm tripping today - the weirdest day ever. Tense doesn't quite cover it zj! Sorry this is going to be long and rambling and probably not going to make much sense but it might help to write it down so (deep breath) here goes...

My ex phoned this morning to let me know that our lovely friend Robin died yesterday of cancer at the age of 40 - not unexpected as he was diagnosed 4 years ago, but extremely sad nonetheless and my first experience of the death of a friend. Ex and I were panicking about how and when to let my brother know as he and Robin were at one time best friends and flatmates, particularly in view of my brother's appointment tomorrow to find out the result of his scan. Freaky coincidence I know them both being diagnosed with cancer at such a young age. Anyway I ended up phoning my brother's DP at work to let her know (she was also a friend) and sound her out about breaking the news to my brother. I announced that I had some very bad news for her and that Robin had died and was so wrapped up in what my brother's reaction might be that it somehow slipped my mind that their son (i.e. my nephew) is also called Robin. The worst thing you could possibly say to a mother. I'm sure you can all imagine it. I keep getting flashbacks of saying it. Every few minutes I am remembering it and literally cringing. I mean it's almost funny in a grim way. But then I remember my friend is dead. Brother's DP says she will tell him when she phones him at lunchtime. A bit later my phone goes and it's my brother and I cack myself not knowing whether he knows about Robin yet. Turns out he's phoning cos his consultant couldn't make the appointment tomorrow and thought he might like to get the results over the phone instead: all clear. Amazing. But by then I'm all over the place and can't get my head around anything, good news or bad. I should be jumping for joy but I just feel numb and spaced out. Since then I've drunk 4 espressos and a bottle of wine and spent all evening contacting strangers on facebook to let them know their friend is dead. Kept having to go back to his facebook page and see the last entry which was Have you had a massive WANK lately? (thankfully now deleted). At one point facebook stopped me sending more messages as it thought I was spamming, just as I received a message back from one of Robin's facebook friends who wasn't really a friend but bizarrely the author of a book about internet spamming that Robin must have liked, offering me his condolences. It is all too too weird. See I told you it wouldn't make sense. I really should go to bed. Hopefully I will wake up able to take in the fantastic news about my brother.

I have read up to date but not a lot went in. However, I will say this much:

MoM those implement thingies looked far too complicated for my tiny frazzled brain to comprehend. DD does fine with a teaspoon. Am I missing something?

Veggie a) I know you like your coffee. Your mission if you choose to accept it is to find a damn fine coffee shop in Amsterdam for our next meet up. Actually from now on every time you say you are off to have your morning coffee I will assume you are using some kind of cheeky secret Amsterdam code and will picture you reclining with a fattie whilst your DSs roll around on the floor gorging themselves on blueberries & cheerios out of the packet and b) I hear ya on the ornament thing. But if I may be permitted to reframe your question, why do we assign logic and reason to GPs that they can't even understand let alone express?

And on that nonsensical note I really must say goodnight.

Bloody hell PD that's all a bit bloody much! I can see why your feeling all over the place, I'm so glad your brother has gotten the all clear but your friend. When a friend dies it hits so hard because you suddenly realize that it could be you, apart from the fact that is someone that should still be a part of your life not a memory. The mistake with your SIL must have been horrible but I think you need to put that all aside now and reflect on your friend for yourself. You have lost someone too now, your brother and everyone else can grieve as they now know because of you but now it's your turn.

Can just add when you said you where contacting strangers on FB and telling them their friend is dead I thought you meant you were just randomly contacting people and saying a friend of theirs had died as some sort of evil cruel joke.

In veggie news this morning I was not paying enough attention to DS 2 who was playing with the dishwasher and when I turned to look at him he was about to see what a vegetable knife tasted like!!

Oh and about to have a 'coffee', feel a bit like I've already rolled a bad boy this morning.

Oh wow PD - That is alot all in one day. Congrats on your brother's news, first. My mom has cancer and we are always on tenterhooks waiting for the all clear call too. And so sorry to hear about your friend. It is so scary to remember that people so young die of horrible illnesses. I know what you mean about saying the wrong thing and then cringeing for hours/days/months afterwards. I have many of those!

Don't worry about the crazy feeding sticks! They are only required for babies who rip a regular teaspoon out of your hand and try to feed themselves with it, but end up sticking it in their eye instead.

Oh my sainted aunt, PD - the best possible news and the horridest news all in one day. That is just too much. First - that is utterly incredible and wonderful about your brother. I know you can't take it in properly now, what with reeling from the other news, but it will sink in later. How marvellous for him and all his family. Sometimes that gruelling treatment just does work, simple as that! As for your poor friend, well - that is incredibly sad. DP's friend died suddenly in January and (obviously) he still finds it tough. Even when someone has been ill I don't think you are ever prepared for them actually to die and it still comes as a horrendous shock. Obviously, someone dying that young just stinks and you need to be very gentle with yourself for the next few weeks, but (in my opinion anyway, others who have lost people may think differently, I dunno) ultimately you have to find a way of carrying that person with you because people we have loved still enhance our lives, living or dead. Of course, that all sounds very pat I'm sure and after my DH died I spent a very long time ranting to myself how unfair it was and finding it hard to accept, so I am sure there will be some of that too. Quite bizarrely imo we have a bench for him and for another member of our cricket team that died (Cie, you will have read about him in the book I guess) at our homeground and whenever we play there, I look around and think that we'll all be sodding benches one day. I don't mean that in a gloomy way, either. It actually makes me laugh and feel quite zen about it. A great hero of mine (who also died of cancer as it happens) said, when he was ill, "enjoy every sandwich!" One of the wisest things I ever heard.

Sorry about the awfulness with your SIL. I am sure she knew what you meant. It's a bit like that bit in A Handful of Dust which I won't mention in case someone hasn't read it and it planning to.

Anyway - thinking of you. In these circs, alcohol is very soothing.

OH, and I meant to say that I was so incredibly glad you enjoyed the book. It really means something when people do. He wrote most of it when he was ill, unbelievably. And the new Mrs Claus is....long suffering, I would say. He's a lovely bloke but just suffers from a surfeit of beans, one might say. I was going to mention Ornamentgate but I expect it's receded into the background now. Smacking someone else's child is unacceptable but I am sure you have already made that very clear....

Veggie - looking forward to hearing the dope (as it were) on Holland! That is SO exciting. When will you know for absolute sure? Will you try to learn some Dutch before you go?

Daisy - tell me about your running! How far do you go, how often, have you done running in the past and how did you build up to it? I am still Fighting the Flab...

Bisou, DD also has two teeth on the bottom. Mind you she has had those for two months or more and there've been no others since. She uses her hard gums to bite as much as the teeth...

JJ - are you in La Belle France yet? I think DP and I are going to take a weekend in France soon. He likes driving and we both need a little break. Last cricket match for me on Sunday so then I am free at weekends. Remind me where you have gone?

Trace - how is poor little P? That is such a bummer that she got poorly in your first week. I do hope she is better and also that you managed to work something out.

JB - I am actually more annoyed about the tone of your co-worker, having had my jumped up assistant speak to me like I was a truant earlier in the year. I do think they are being unreasonable about your overnighter and I hope you can sort it out - however, I DO think you would be amazed how fine your DD would be without you if it came to the crunch. My DD comes everywhere with me and I hadn't left her for a whole day for yonks when I went to this wedding on Saturday, and pine she did not...

PMK - I am much better today thanks, but the last few days have been a washout. DD didn't get what I've had, thank heavens, she's just had a bit of a runny nose...When's the PC going to be up and running? How are you settling in?

TIlly - hope your DH appreciates you more after a day in your shoes

MomorMum - those spoons look good. DD won't feed herself, she likes to use spoons to bang. That's to say, she will happily tuck in with her fingers or she will let me feed her with a spoon.

ZJ - I will post a pic of me at the wedding when DP has uploaded them from his camera in a few days. Are you on Facebook? As for my DH's book, I don't want to put the title as otherwise this post might come up ona a google search but if you google the sport mentioned above with penguins with a capital P (yes, the birds, not the publishers) it should come up. His initials are HT.

Right, time for breakfast....no word from work yet - my employment lawyer friend helped me word a letter asking for a better settlement. We shall see...can't say I am hopeful.

PD I'm very relieved to hear the good news about your brother, but so sorry about your friend. You poor thing - have you got someone to talk to about it? I can't really add anything that hasn't already been most elequently expressed by our lovely friends here, but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. XXX

PD - that's a lot to take in, no wonder you feel like you're tripping. As others have said though, fabulous, wonderful news about your brother but so so sorry about your friend.

Afternoon all. I'm a little concerned as we haven't heard from Traceface. Hopefully she's just busy with poorly but steadily recovering P. Or maybe she's on the course.

Oh I know it's not really appropriate being that's its a bit sombre here today but DS2 did his first proper formed, roll off the nappy, would never known it was there poo today! Not sure of this is any sort of milestone, but as a non disposable nappy user this is a quite pleasant arrival.