June 08: I see it, I want it, it's mine!

[spongebrainmaternitypants]

Welcome to our new thread .

bdq fingers crossed for you that you had a better night. The wake-to-sleep did work for once once DS1 was older and I plan on trying it with Fraser in a few months but I do think he's a bit too young at the moment. I should be working in the evenings too but I'm too tired these days.

Ali Fraser's a monkey too - he was carrying around a glass jar the other day for ages before I found him (he wandered off so happily from the kitchen). I'm glad he wasn't really hurt.

I do panic if both my kids are asleep past six honestly - I tend to go in and check on DS1 just to reassure myself that he's okay but I can't check on F as he's wake instantly.

Morning. For the past two nights B has gone from 7-11.30ish, and then come into bed with me and slept til morning!!! However, this morning I was lying awake from about 4am, and then B woke up for the day at 6.15 just as I was nodding off again, so I'm feeling quite spaced! Hopefully if it's not just a fluke my own sleep pattern will settle down a bit as well!

Ali, was it you with the biscuits before bed [bleary eyed and brained emoticon]? Well, even though B has tea at 5.30, I've given him a snack before bed at 7pm the past two nights, so I'm thinking supper is the way to go. I'm also making sure he's super snuggly at night - sometimes his hands and arms are freezing - so I'm putting him in a vest and pjs as well as his grobag.

Did have other things to say, but I'm in a fog, and B keeps slamming down the lid of my laptop!

Hi everyone,

It's tantrumtastic here, last night J barely ate any of his tea (unheard of!) as he was getting upset about every single little thing. Was in a better mood this morning but still constantly on the edge of breaking down into tantrum all the time. He is a bit dribbly so I'm hoping there is some teeth coming through to explain the general bad mood.

I'm no use on the early waking I'm afraid, in our house it is DH's alarm clock disturbing the peace at 6.10.

Met up with one of my friends yesterday and she is 6 wks pregnant! I'm very excited for her. Will be nice to have someone else with a similar aged baby around.

Whinegums, you're making progress on the sleep then? I always give my two a slice of toast each after their tea and they have half a beaker of cow's milk too. We don't have Oatibix anymore but it always used to do the trick

at the beer drinking - Esther tried to put two nappies down the loo the other day cos she had just seen me flushing poo off a nappy. I was so proud!

Sponge, the only problem with the car reg is someone might be able to find out your address from your reg... that's why they always blank out regs on tv. But on FB it should be fine. I totally understand about your MIL - it's such a shame you can't trust her, it's one thing for her to be such a cow but she is not even a useful cow! I have my issues with my ILs but at least I know they are always there to help out if we need them.

Amber, so exciting about the house!

Early morning waking - for us it was a crack of light coming in through the bedroom door from the hallway so now we close all the doors onto the landing. Also they have toys in their cot and often play with them quite happily for ages after waking up. It is so strange as Esther screams herself to sleep most nights but then wakes up in the morn and is happy to just sit and chat to her doll

The Toddler Taming book is very good imo - just very straightforward common sense advice. It is written by Dr Christopher Green - I think he gets a bit of a bad press on MN (in a GF way) but to me that endorses him further as I think some people on MN have some crazy ideas about parenting (anyone ever come across 'unconditional parenting'?). But each to their own!

Abdn, what a lovely story about your church family, I didn't realise you were a churchgoer. My church is the same - I know I'd have dozens of people to call on if I needed anything and they are all such lovely people. Even though I do believe in Jesus I often think even if it was a load of old nonsense you still get a lot out of living a Christian way of life cos it makes you a better person and generally beings you into contact with lots of other good people. Don't tell Sponge tho

x-posted ktpie - I was going to say teeth - my two have massive molars coming through atm! Does he like chomping on slices of apple? That can keep my two occupied for ages if they are a bit whingy, I just stick them in their highchairs... they also love to chomp on the core - they will try to eat the whole thing, although the remnants do tend to get spat out at the end

Not tried him on apple for a while, good tip. At the moment he is playing with a bucket in the laundry room and probably pulling the hoses out of the back of the washer or drinking beer or some other mischief so I should go and get him but it is nice and peaceful.

I said to DH we need to start going to church to meet people! We aren't at all religious though so we won't be doing that.

I'm a bit jumpy as an absolutely massive spider ran across the floor last night and we couldn't find it to remove it so it's somewhere in here. I'm OK with little ones but not the really big ones, bit silly really!

Fetched him, he was looking at a mop, now he is cuddling his teddy and chewing on a teething ring.
Forgot to say I'll have a look in the library for that book Neenz, I had the GF book and some of it made sense, I tried to follow some of the routines but didn't like the whole "they MUST be in their cot by 13:45" tone of it, we found the timings impossible to stick to, was easier when I stopped worrying about it and we developed a routine of our own.

Yes it's a shame GF makes you think if you don't get your baby up at 6.45am all hell will break loose. Ridiculous and it gives her critics too much ammo, cos her belief that a child who eats and naps regularly is a contended baby is quite right imo.

The spider may have got through a gap in the wall?

You don't have to be religious to go to church - you can just go to meet people, then maybe the sermons etc will do their magic! If it is something you have considered I would definitely give it a try. They will probably fall at your feet if you take the kids. Even when we are on hols we always find a church to go to and the people fall over themselves for the DTs. Congregations are ageing so they love to see young families, if not then try another church.

skimming and waving, hi everyone!!

We have sold the house!! now just have to persuade dp to actually buy somewhere ... 2nd viewing on a lovely place on Saturday but it will be like pulling teeth to get him to part with money for it. But we don't want to lose the offer on ours ....

When I had Caitlin due we had 6 people lined up to look after ds depending on circumstances - all of whom fell through the week she was due - good job I went 11 days over!! In the event we just needed a babysitter as it all happened after ds was in bed so didn't even need someone experienced with kids, just a friend prepared to sit up all night. I do sympathise with you sponge, kt, it's the unknown of it all that's terrifying, but as you get nearer the time it becomes clearer what sort of support you will need, and it is one time when you can call on pretty much anyone you think could do it and they will be happy to help if they can, if an emergency arises. And even if a bit disruptive for the older one at the time, they will soon get over it (having a sibling is much more disruptive of their time with mummy in the long run!! though they get lots out of it too!)

C is now walking, talking, and was sleeping nearly through but has just had croup which disrupted everything, thinks she is in charge of the whole house and is entertainingly autocratic.

Love to you all xx now back to the conference paper I can't write - taking both kids down to Norfolk soon so I can go to a conference and they can have a week with my mum!

Yes maybe the spider has got out, it was so big it would have to have opened the cat flap and gone out that way!

Oh Neenz I caused great upset to my Grandmas by refusing to get married in a church! It's a shame there aren't many other ways communities gather together like that and befriend each other that aren't religious.

SA great news about the house! Hope you can persuade your DH about the one you like. Thanks for the advice on childcare in labour, makes sense.

My little tyrant is in a better mood after shredding a packet of tissues and putting hand cream everywhere, handy the tissues were there to wipe it up.

SA congrats on selling the house! I hope you find a home you love! Are you back at work full time now? A friend of mine who went back to work part time around the same time as me has just gone back to full time too. It seems like part time sounds brilliant but in practice it's very hard to do both jobs (full time mother/employee). I found that when I worked full time after DS1, my DH was more involved too which helped a lot.

I think it is a huge shame there is no community alternative to the church. It is such a brilliant way to meet people and feel welcome. I'm 99% sure that my DH does't go for any religious reason at all, just the community side. And he falls asleep every week in the sermon so I don't think they will work their magic on him neenz. I used to go to a great church in Vancouver where we all sat down with coffee through the sermon - that was a good idea and really did stop the head-bobbing. It was far far more liberal than most churches here though - we even marched in the gay pride parade .

Right - boys are playing with the hoover which probably isn't ideal. I'm very excited as my new mattress is here and although a bit new-stinky, is very comfy. I've just placed it on top of the old one until DH gets home and I think I'll go and tell DS1 the story of the princess and the pea.

Lol at Neenz trying to convert the heathens on the thread ! You're wasting your time with me girl - I get struck by lightening every time I go near a church!

I agree though, that there does need to be non-religious alternatives for being a community together cos so many communities nowadays are so fractured and I'm sure many people would love to know their neighbours better but they just don't know how to go about it .

Thanks for letting me know where the buggy was from btw - mum and dad have bought Alex a buggy and baby this week which is sooo sweet . He keeps grabbing the baby and snogging it's face off then throwing it on the floor - kind of hoping he won't do this to his baby brother! Dad was v funny cos he wouldn't buy the buggy/baby until he had checked that dh wouldn't mind! He's known Matt for 16 years, you'd think he'd know that Matt is totally unfazed by things like that. I mean, Matt pushed A around in his buggy - what's the difference?!

Can't remember what everyone else's news was , although congrats to SA on the house and sorry to hear all about the early wakings. A wakes early when we're at my parents' house so we've had 5.15am and 6.15am for the past two days - not fun!

"bringing" a community together obviously!

Sponge - the buggy sounds so cute! J is very cuddly with his toys at the moment, I made him a fluffy rabbit a couple of months ago and suddenly it is getting a lot of attention which to be honest my handiwork isn't up to, it's eye is coming unsewn and it's arms and legs are about to fall off. We asked him this morning where bunny was and he went and fetched it from the log basket (obvious place).

Aberdeen - good news about the mattress!

I find the whole 'boys don't want babies/pushchairs' thing a bit odd. Ds1 had a baby and pram (in macho lime and purple ) from about 15 months and loved it but my dad was a bit odd about it. When I mentioned to dh the other day that we needed to get the pram out of the loft for Jamie (the baby is still around ds1's bedroom and occasionally finds its way into his bed!)my dad was very tutty again. This does remind me that we need to find it and buy him a nice little baby to go in it. Just to wind grandad up with if nothing else!

spongs that is really cute about Alex and his baby - yes, hopefully he won't throw the real one on the floor!

systems - great news about the house. Mine is going up in a couple of months time as well

re. church - neenz you have almost tempted me!

Go for it Allnew! It really is wonderful

I know what you mean about the buggies for boy babies - at this age boys and girls are just the same so of course they will like prams and dolls, and I am glad that Theo has a twin sister so he can have all the girly toys and vice versa for Esther. I just buy them everything the same - it would be murder if I didn't, so there can be no tutting (not that I would be bothered anyway).

BIL made a 'gay' comment about Theo's buggy while we were on hols, and he was only joking but I thought well I feel sorry for your son cos he doesn't have a buggy cos you have sad hang-ups about it!

neenz you're very cute in your enthusiasm for the church - good ambassador work! I'm more of a closet Christian myself (hides away again).

DS1 associated prams with babies, not with mums at all. In fact his current favourite game is where DH and I lie on the floor and pretend to be babies and he and Fraser have to be the mummies and daddies. Parenting is gender neutral (says me in my entirely traditional household - sighs).

Oh, its a bit highbrow tonight tackling the demise of the community and the impact of homophobic jokes on impressionable children!

I'm a catholic myself, with all the hang-ups that ensues, so should encourage anyone who fancies trying out God to come along to us - we always welcome an opportunity to brainwash teach about the ways of the Lord

Seriously though, I grew up attending Catholic mass and went to the associated Catholic school and everyone I knew in the community were based around that school/church. I'm not particularly involved in the local community via my own parish now, but I could be if I wanted to be. The demise of the 'community' is very sad and I wonder how much of it is linked to falling church attendances? Not because that religion in itself builds communities, but just by being part of something (i.e. the congregation) creates the community spirit in the first place IYSWIM. What we need is a medieval historian to come along and give her perspective on historical communities .

Neenz I hope you dont mind that I'm also a bit sorry for your nephew. I think our ability to tolerate and respect those around us is heavily influenced by our parents (to start with anyway) and it'll be a shame if your nephew grows up to think that making ill advised gay comments are fine.

Sorry, am in danger of getting on my soap box so I'd best stop. Suffice to say that, that I am wholeheartedly supportive of boys having buggies and feel a bit sorry for those who have a problem with it. In fact, I get a bit fed up of a lot of the gender stereotyping around babies/toddler/children products generally... and I really will get on my soap box if I dont go to bed, so cheerio for now!

Oh, S slept till 7am this morning

Do you think he was reading MN over my shoulder yesterday? He was in such a better mood at bedtime (I think the two hour nap at nursery helped). I'm pretty sure it was a fluke but one can dream...

Good morning all, too much to reply to everyone personally so apologies.

SA - Congratulations on the house, hope the 2nd viewing goes well

Ali - Ethan broke a toothbrush holder yesterday, whisked him away and put all the bits in the bin. This morning as I'm on the loo he started emptying the bin of all the sharp pieces of pottery - I moved pretty fast with my pyjamas round my ankles - not as pretty sight!I must empty that bin today!

Sorry to hear about the early wakings and Tantrumtastic toddlers - love that Ktpie

Last night Tristan went to stay with his friend - it's the 1st time he's been away without Stefan and it seemed very strange. Stefan had his friend over and they decided they would sleep out in the tent,. So they wouldn't have it on the grass because of the giant slugs who love our garden and instead set it all up on the balcony....... They lasted about an hour, then it all got a bit scary, it was pitch black mind you and the crickets were so loud out there. It was so funny!Now they're waiting for a respectable time to go outside and play army - this is the boy who also had a buggy and baby! Tristan on the other hand had a baby for his 2nd Christmas which he loved and a hairdressing set for his 3rd Birthday.

Hoping the predicted rain stays off whilst the boys play outside this morning and then another afternoon at the pool - it was 32 yesterday.

Hope everyone's OK.

BDQ you're right - we need a historical perspective here. And I think it's interesting (and sad) that nothing has taken the place of the church in today's society. Is it that people need to be forced to build a community? That we all need the kick in the bum to attend community events even though most people agree it's hugely valuable?

Intellectual discussion over - Deb! I have been there with the pjs around the ankles frantically shuffling to prevent disaster! Motherhood is pretty low on dignity sometimes.

And why shouldn't boys love buggies? After all they have wheels and my boys love anything that spins and moves. I can't get them interested in dolls though, DS1 used to throw the baby out and then run away with the buggy. He's better now that he's older. sponge and A will understand the difference between a toy baby that's throwable and a sibling that's not - don't worry! DS1 was very rough with dolls but never hurt Fraser (until now - the two of them are very into rough and tumble at the moment).

My back is still sore after a night on the new mattress . It's much more comfortable than the old one, but perhaps too soft. DH says it's fine though so it's probably just my rubbish back. I need to see an osteopath I guess.

And I have to admit to finding this thread really funny...

On the community groups thing I actually started wondering about the WI yesterday as I was stirring my pan of lemon curd (which by the way is delicious and easy and quick to make, I'd always assumed it would be really difficult). Would be quite happy with all the jam making, knitting, baking etc, right up my street! Read something in the paper recently about how some groups London way are very popular now with younger women, lots of networking etc and have long waiting lists to join. Got the feeling that any round my way would be full of old ladies! Plus all my friends would laugh at me (including you lot no doubt). Also don't want to have to get my kit off.

BDQ - glad to hear about the improved morning.

J loves playing with my hairdryer and hairbrush so maybe I should get him a hairdressing set.

Abdn - perhaps you just need to get used to the mattress? May be fine in a couple of days.

Systems - good news on the house! I think we are exchanging today on our place fingers crossed so no going back...! We are going to rent for a few weeks just to get out of here, plus it means we can move out slowly and move in bit by bit instead of doing the dreaded moving out and in on one day - eek!

Sponge - funny about your baby doll story as I wanted to get Luke a baby or just a 'human' but they only have girls and I thought Mark would get funny about it! Might get one of those £4 tesco buggies a la Neenz' little 'uns when we get to the new house though.

Talking of church, I always wanted to do the Alpha course mainly 'cos I find religion really fascinating but a lot of people put me off saying it was basically trying to convert all who attended. I would love to be converted though - I think it is wonderful to have a faith you really believe in. Personally I am a fact based person and unless I can see it or touch it it doesn't exist for me which is very unfortunate.

I think I am going to have to move my car theory test back again as I have done no revision for 2 weeks. It's really hard! I wonder how half the cretins on the road manage to pass I really do.

Luke is now 100% better and sleeping well so I am finally able to relax.

Love to all x