You are all so incredibly kind.
I feel like I have chucked a couple of lead weights into the basket
I am sad about the house - it was (potentially) gorgeous and I wanted it so, but like you say, Arti - one has to be philosophical. We live in a one a half bedroom flat here and my flat in London is a small one bedroom too, but that's still two rooves over our heads. That's so much more than many people.
But the job...there wasn't anything written down, but we even talked about how it would work and which clients I would major on. It is not really news to me that my employers are as ruthless as it gets, tbh, but this is going it even for them. I'm a literary agent, NJAN, and my job is reading and working on scripts and novels editorially, finding homes for them with publishers and broadcasters and doing the deals and then negotiating the contracts. Apart from the odd meeting there is NO REASON why I can't work from home as it's all phone and email. My boss, I note, asked a handful of clients only (we don't have too many any) but I note she asked the ones that I know wouldn't stick up for me, being entirely self-interested. I don't feel I can mention it to the ones who I think would be disgusted, as I feel it would put them in a difficult position - like me as I think they do, some of them have been with the agency for decades and would worry about going against the wishes of the owners of the company.
There is no automatic right to going part time, I have found out; just a need to offer 'flexible working', whatever THAT means. Even if I suggested redundancy, I have also learned that the statutory minimum (and they would only pay that, I am sure) is one week's pay for every year you have worked there, and that isn't enough.
I told her I didn't feel at all valued, that it was a rotten trick and so on, but she had nothing to say.
I have a friend who is a swishy employment lawyer and if I said the word he'd be on to them, I am sure; but a) I don't think I have got a leg to stand on unless they say my job is no longer open and b) I do need to work there until I find something else and threatens of tribunals will make it impossible. I support my late DH's father financially as he hasn't a bean and can't manage on his old age pension, and didn't get anything from DH's estate, so I need money for that as well as mortgage in London and all the rest of it.
As to HMRC, I have been blaming them for shorthand - it is really lawyer for Estate who is out of his depth and in the pocket of late DH's ex. I have been researching various bits of caselaw with DH's help and I actually think HMRC will be on my side - the tax does have to be paid, just not by me. DH's estate has been the subject of legal wrangling for four years as he died intestate and there's been lots of nastiness.
Like I said, I am hugely fortunate in comparison to millions. DP does his best to be supportive, he really does, and cares so much, but he's not really the empathetic type. But yes, DD is a great comfort.
I do a bit of journalism but not enough to pay much and have writing projects on the go but as I know from my day job, they are nothing to be counted on until the day you sign a contract.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is the complete dearth of any loyalty from work. I am not perfect by any means but I do know I am scrupulously loyal myself and it just feels like such a kick in the teeth.
Anyway, I have whinged quite enough! Glad to hear better news from you, ZJ. And so glad you had a nice birthday yesterday, Arti.
I am taking myself off to bed to read a book and try to forget about all this MANURE...