December 2007 "The one where babies walk the walk... and talk the talk"

[Arcadie]

I'm sorry - I couldn't last out. Welcome to the new thread.

Yep ds had his first night in a bed last night. He started yelling "no cot" when I put his sleeping bag on because he thought it meant he wasn't going in the bed (wasn't brave enough to do both bed and duvet on the same night!), then got a bit scared when I lay him down on the bed and clung onto me but settled much faster than he has been doing and slept til 4. Unfortunately didn't settle again after that though and cried everytime we left him until 6 when we finally had enough and brought him in with us.

Insy it all sounds really scary and really hard with the other two as well. I hope Bear is much better now and the others realise you aren't going anywhere. Also hope your dh is being patient re the cuddles, I remember that touched out feeling well.

Arcadie you ok? Also want to say that every couple should have a copy of that book, it makes so much sense

Thanks Clairey - doing alright although can't seem to get very excited about anything atm. At least in 2 weeks I'll have a deffo yes or deffo no and I can start planning.

so please you liked the book. How's it going with DH? Any thoughts on what his language is?

Well it's interesting because I would have put him as physical touch then words of affirmation but he agreed to do the quiz and words of affirmation came last so it isn't as important to him as I thought it was. He did say he found it hard to answer some of the questions though because they were so 'out there' compared to how our relationship is at the moment...might get him to do it again once I've had a chance to put some of it into practice!

I really want him to read the book because I think he thinks we are the only couple to be this way and the book clearly shows that a lot of couples go through similar stuff but can work through it...hopefully he will agree to

Hi all - welcome back Insy what an awful time for you. Hope Bear is fighting fit again soon.

DH is improving slowly but our holiday is looking touch and go at the moment.

Seems like it's tantrum central all around. How long before we emerge stressed and shellshocked at the other end do you think?

Arcadie - I was just reminding myself about what had happened to spiralqueen dh's and I came acordss an old post of yours from a week ago where you had written And, on another topic, Where's Bouncing Turtle? Seems like a while ... and I misread it as "Seems like a whale." -

actually this got lost in the telling, but for a few milliseconds I was confused (turtles, whales etc) and then laughted for 5 minutes.... and all the dds looked at me like I had gone crazy

oooh what's this book them clairey and arcadie? Sounds interesting

clairey - glad you seem to be working things out with DH and that he is on board. Of course it will take time but sounds like a good start

and how hilarious about your DS with his cot hatred!!! Hopefully he will come round to his new bed after a few nights - settling more quickly seems like a good start

arcadie am still crossing my fingers for you (getting quite sore now!). Don;t know if this is a stupid question but have you tried a pg test? Or would it be positive either way?

insy - poor you and Bear - what an absolute nightmare but thank goodness he is fine now. FWIW your description of your DSs sounds exactly like my DC (obviously minus the newborn, for now) - especially the fury when the beaker is the wrong colour! Count yourself lucky to only be suffereing from this now - my DD has been doing this for years!!

furry - fish is about the only healthy food that DS likes so he also gets plenty of it. He loves bread and often has only bread for a meal (e.g. when I give him soup and a roll, or a sandwich and he only eats the bread) - I do worry his diet is unhealthy but what can I do? I offer him healthy stuff but he doesn't eat it - I just hope he accepts more foods as he gets older.

SQ - tantrums still fairly commonplace with DD and she is 4 in October - think we have a loooooong wait...

Skid the book is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, Arcadie was lovely and sent me a copy to help me and dh

We are trying to get DS back into his cot. We have had partial success in that he now sleeps the first half of the night in his bed. I still think he needs to be in a bed.

Arcadie... another joke for you - though I suggest you pay a visit to Only Joking as there are lots of very funny ones in there!

What is brown and sticky?

A stick

BT That is about the only joke I know

Last night was pretty good, ds slept til 4 something then til 6 something.

I think the cot hatred is because he wants to be just like dd. He also hates spouted cups and keeps saying no nappy, pants when I change him (not even going to go there though because he has already watered the carpet, sofa etc several times in nappy free moments and he also pooed on the floor-though he did at least come and tell me about that one!). I'm wondering if this might be the way to get him off the boob "well dd doesn't have boob, boobs are for babies etc" but don't want to give him issues!

Clairey SO Glad the book is helping. I'm thinking of getting it as a little something to go with my bro's wedding present. Go start "filling up his love tank". The (really difficult) trick is to do it without expecting that he will do anything in return. Just do it to make him happy and see what happens.
For those of you who are even faintly interested there's also a Love Languages for Children book by the same guy- Gary Chapman. It's not great for preschoolers but with kids 5+ I think it's really interesting.

BT I Love that joke. Thanks

Skid Thanks for all the finger crossing. Could do an HPT but just terrified it will be BFN. Don't think I could handle that before my brother's wedding. At least this way I can go thinking "I might be" rather than "I'm about to start having a miscarriage any minute". And [positive spin on it emoticon] I did do a second test 2 weeks afetr the bleed and it came back even more positive than the first.....

Cazzy You're a loon. I like you

Insy - hope things are calming down for you now. Unfortunately 18 months is classic "clingy" age so DD2 will have found it especially tough.

Arcadie - what's the premise of that love languages for children book? I'd be interested to know more re DD1 (age 7). We often have a rather strained left brain (me) right brain (her) relationship which I'd love to improve.

BT - holiday sounds lovely!

Clairey and spiralqueen - just wondering whether you think you've done anything to get the fab lanuguage skills with your DC?
DD clearly understands LOADS and some quite complex sentences and requests too but finds it hard to repeat back even quite simple sounds. She misses the ends off most words and despite being able to clearly say Bea (her name) can't say buzz for example - won't even try the "B" sound. I read to her loads and loads and I know they do at her creche too. Any thoughts?

Have just splurged on a new car - Toyota Corolla diesel. Voted best value for money car by Consumerist Magazine (US version of Which?). Japanese cars are much better value here. Used all my bonus up!

Buzzy don't think I've done anything tbh, with dd I used to talk to her non stop so thought that was why she spoke early but poor ds has been sorely neglected in comparison! Maybe listening to dd talk?

Don't get me wrong, it's still baby talk eg running some words together (inna-in the, wanna- want the/a), missing out letters, not saying words perfectly but other people can understand him too so it is clear enough iyswim.

Oh and ds is stubborn and only says what he wants to say, if you try to get him to repeat something he just laughs or blanks you!

I think the book works on the same premise as the adult one from reading an excerpt of it in the back of mine (Arcadie might come along and correct me though!). Basically there are 5 love languages (Words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, quality time and acts of service) and it's all about identifying which of these make your dd feel most loved (NOT what you think is showing her love). So for example your dd might feel loved by you if you tell her how great she is, or, that might mean nothing to her and she needs a cuddle to feel loved. Or she might feel most loved when you do things for her or when you give her small gifts, or just when you send time focusing on doing something with her.

Obviously the book goes into far more detail but once you know which language she speaks then you can do little things everyday that show her that you love her (my dd is maybe a bit young but I think hers is quality time and that is why she played up so much wrt potty training...)

Buzzy What Clairey said

A quickie post from me (I'm supposed to be packing as we're off to Scotland for a couple of weeks tomorrow) just to say hi!

Arcadie, I have had scans at 6+3 and 6+6 (in different pgs) and the difference in a few days is huge (sack and tiny flicker on one, eeny teeny baby blob on the second) so if you are a couple of days less pg than your dates (which you could be if the egg was fertilised with sperm AFTER ovulation rather than before) that would explain why you only saw sac. Fingers crossed for you though x

Insy, what a nightmare for you, glad Bear is home and on the mend, I'm sure the other 2 boys will settle down again soon.

FurryFox, I remember you, welcome back!

SQ, hope DH is better soon and that you and DD don't come down with it.

Talking of babies singing, DDs current fave is 'Drunken Sailor', she loves the "ear-lay in the mornin'" bit the best! We change the words depending on what we are doing too ("brush her teeth til they're nice and clean" etc). She picked it up from DS1s school production and loved it, its one of my faves too as my Gran used to sing it to me!

Hello to everyone else

buzzy - I am so glad I am not the only one who doesn't always enjoy having a 7 year old...(god I feel like a terrible parent writing that)

Cazzy and Buzzy I'm terrified of having a seven year old. You guys have my respect not my judgement. (which is unusual on MN!)

ha ha arcadie I am also terrified of having a 7 year old - full of their own opinions and voicing them? No thanks, give me a wordless baby any day

beckle - your DD just sounds sooo sweet. I love that song too - might try singing it to the DC tonight...

clairey - love the sound of your DS too - wanting to be all grown-up before he's ready, bless him. Have you read that book Toddler Taming by Christopher Green (I think)? - your DS sounds so like his description of toddlers - all opinion and no sense!

buzzy - re language development I think they just develop at their own pace. There is a longitudinal study going on atm in my department looking at babies who start speaking late (defined as having fewer than 50 words aged 2) and by age 4 almost all of them catch up - and those that don't seem to have a different pattern of brain activation (language on right side rather than left as is more common) and possibly other difficulties which compound their language problems - sounds like you are doing everything you can to help her and she will probably have a huge vocab spurt soon and you'll wish she was still just saying a few words so you could have a bit of peace!! FWIW I know DS's language development is very slow compared to DD's but I am confident he will be chatting away at 3 like most children are.

DS is the same,understands a lot.

A conversation I had with him yesterday. DH had the same conversation with him the day before and got the exact same response.

"Daniel, do you like sleeping in mummy and daddy's bed?"
DS nods head.
"Do you want to sleep in your cot"
DS shakes head vigourously
"Would you like to sleep in your own bed"
DS nods head.

He has actually starting saying yeh and nah instead of nodding and shaking his head. He does have this wonderful Gallic shrug as well when he doesn't know or is not sure about something, very cute! So he communicates much more via gestures than by speaking. We have always talked to him loads though! But the only words he consistantly uses are "Car" and "dodie". But he will babble away telling you stories!

I assume early talking is a genetic thing, like early walking. But I'm no expert so might be wrong. dd2 is saying loads now but isn't brilliant at pronoucing so can be quite hard to understand. Her favourite word is yellow. Whenever I ask what colour anything is, the answer is always yellow. If I say "it's red" she will insist "no, yellow"....

We have the packers in today and are moving out tomorrow. It's horrible, but we have to get through it. The girls are watching cbeebies while I do this and dh is hopefully somewhere supervising the tea-swilling moving men. I swear they are the same men who moved us last time unless all moving men everywhere are called Andy, Dave and Paul and come from the West Midlands.....

Hope everyone is ok and surviving this RUBBISH weather. Clairey, how are you and your dh getting on? Are you going to try and get some counselling? I have always thought relationship counselling should be compulsory, especially once couples have had children.

Clara DS did the yellow thing. I think it's cos it's so like hello. EVERYTHING was yellow. happy memories

DS likes red. and Gurrrrrreeeeeeeen

Today he's been driving me mad by undoing his nappy, saying need a wee and making me take him to the loo. Where he sits...and sits...and sits...finally says finished, wipes his willy then flushes the loo. Having done NOTHING. Over and over again

Arcadie I do think she likes saying words that have "l" in it (she actually pronounces yellow as lellow) as she also likes "lola" (as in Charlie and..) and "la la" (as in Tubbies).......

Sitting in a near-empty house. Knackered. But at least the end is in sight....

Ah well the no bm only lasted as long as bedtime (I was quite relieved as was starting to ache!)and this morning he fed as normal. I think I am going to have to be mean to get him off...

clairey - can you get DH to put him to bed for the next couple of weeks? That's how I weaned DS off his bedtime feeds as I couldn't bear refusing and making him upset. With DH he obviously never asked for a feed and after a couple of weeks when I went back to doing bedtime he didn't ask me either - was actually slightly hurt at how easily he forgot all about it!

clara - i can think of about a dozen other toddlers who also say lellow in stead of yellow - must be something about that 'l'! Have you recovered from the packing? - when are you leaving?

LOL at your DS wiping his (wee-less) willy clairey - are you not going to take this as a sign that he needs to start potty training? Just what you need on top of everything else!

Well my angel DS has finally become a contrary little proper toddler. He used to only say yes and agree with everything but no it's NAAAAAOOOOHHH to absolutely everything and oh my God the whining - he is driving me demented. And if I don't get him out the door by 8am it is meltdown time. Hmmm, so THIS is what you were all talking about.... [slow to catch on emotion]