September 08 - New Year PFBs, Last Year BFPs!

[ninja]

Hi - welcome to the new thread!

Splish my heart goes out to you. You are not being unreasonable and your p is taking the piss. he sounds like my exH, TBH - just a crappy kid. i agree that he needs to look after LOs on his own when you are out of the house (so he can't come running to you) but that's not fair on them if he can't cope. Wish I had answers. is there a close friend that could pop in to see him 'out of the blue' on a day that you have told him he will be looking after LOs while you leave the house for a few hours. If all was really not well, the friend (or relative etc) could contact you. You may find that if you are not in the house, he just has to cope.
Sorry to say this but he sounds like a total wanker and you are doing brilliantly and you are the one who will have the long-term close relationships with your daughters.

Thanks for all suggestions re swimming. Starlight I get what you mean about these challenges throughout motherhood but I think when 2 yr olds throw tantrums, at least you can talk to them on some level and explain why you are leaving the playground (though I think all toddlers would be unhappy to leave a playground - know I would!!). I know it's not like talking to an older child but they (ie 2 yr old) have a sense of why and wherefores etc. With C, obviously, I just cannot explain at all that the more I comfort her, the longer we will be there as I need to get her and myself dressed.
What is worrying me is you hear all these stories that if you don't comfort a crying baby, they feel abandoned and insecure and I'd rather die than have C feel like that. But I know swimming is good for her, so will persevere.

Hugs to meglet and good sleeps to all.

DP and I have agreed tonight that i won't go back to work till July - so pleased!

starlight great minds think alike eh?!

Imo I don't think that the 'if you don't comfort a baby' thing is anything like your issue with getting dressed hun, sometimes babies are just inconsolable, you can leave them for a minute when you're getting dressed and they aren't going to hold it against you! If you feel bad just do it in stages, pants and bra on, cuddle, top on, cuddle etc but honestly, the not comforting thing isn't relating to the sort of time you're going to take to get dressed.

Sass and Sunflower - Thanks for the wrap advice.

oh splish

i'd just stick the kids in bed with him at 6am on a saturday or even sunday morning and run for the hills. i'd have a neighbor watching or something. i'd fly out to Acapulco and sip raspberry daqiris on the beach.

i'd be wearing a fabulous red bikini, a thick plastic bangle and one of those amazing giant brimmed hats and i'd say words like 'fabulous' to everyone in passing.

eandz

how's noah?

sunshineflower

i'm using the method of avoidance today because of helplessness. it's a very unhealthy way to cope with things.

I spent most of yesterday at st marys hospital. they did several tests for everything excwpt pyloric stenosis; after all the new stuff they've given us (higher dosage of renitidine/domperidomere) as well as prescription formula, baby gaviscon. they gave us a specialist who will be "dedicated to this case" the next thing they will do is give us omeprazole and an ultrasound. i won't be seen again till tuesday.

glad at least they're starting to do s.thing! night night everyone

Well I have to confess to not stopping when I'm in the car on short journeys. I stop if I'm on the motorway but I leave her to cry for 5 mins then I'll stop, then she'll start the minute I drive off again, so I'll give her one more chance and then when she starts again I don't stop, otherwise I'd never get home, ever! It makes me feel really sad to do it, but I don't think that stopping every time she cries is realistic. Obviously if she keeps crying and crying and crying then I'd stop, but if you know she's fed, changed, not too hot/cold etc etc then I just feel that getting home is better than being on the side of the road somewhere. It does make me feel horrendously guilty though as I would never leave her to cry on her own at home.

can I give some guidance about the milk stuff i've been seeing but have only been skimming. I was away for 2 nights and catching up quickly.

Lactose intolerance - Lactose is milk sugar. All milks have lactose. The lactose in human milk is no different from the lactose in the milk of any other mammals. So if your baby is fine on your breastmilk but spews up formula or cow's milk, then it isn't lactose intolerance. lactase is the stomach enzyme which digests lactose, converting it to glucose so that your body can use it. All babies who are fine on breastmilk - 99.999 of babies around the world, that is, will be have this enzyme in her GI tract.

As we grow older, after the age of about 2 the amount of lactase we produce slowly reduces which is why some people become lactose intolerant.

Now, if you are still reading....

If your baby is spewing formula or cow's milk, it may be in intolerance/allergy to cow's milk protein. There is more than one type of protein in cow's milk. A true allergy or intolerance to cow's milk protein for a baby who is no longer able to get mother's milk for whatever reason can be confirmed by a RAST test which is a blood test.

DD1 had the RAST test for cow's milk protein at 8 months and it came back negative - but she was not getting any cow's milk at the time and I do not drink milk and only have small amounts of cheese. At 2yrs 8 months, the test was redone and it came back as positive but only mildly so. But now she was getting some cow's milk in her diet.

SLINGS for Preemie: the best, imo, is a stretchy wrap sling. It is the best for Kangaroo Care of a preemie. With a stretchy wrap, she can have him either upright - v. good for a preemie btw, or in the cradle hold. There are safety guidelines especially to consider for a premature baby. I will find some links to show your friend.

click on links

safe for preemies here

Starlight loves this video he does a good demo with a tiny NB in a cradle hold.

Awwwwwwwwww!!!! That video's rather cute! I'm convinced T was never that tiny - no way is that baby 9lb 8oz yet.
If i have another I'm not going to know what to do with a tiny CS baby, it'll seem so small and fragile after my giant baby.

Eandz glad they're at least paying attention now. Hope something works for Noah.

Poor you splish, hope you manage to sort out some kind of a break soon. Your P sounds like a total waste of good oxygen.

That video is great, although it helps that there is a bit of eye candy A good looking bloke with a newborn is always a good thing And the baby had that whole scrunched up newborn thing going on - aaaaawwwwwww.

Splish - you can't (and shouldn't be expected to) do it all. Firm words with your dp are needed, and put him in a position where he has to help and cope with the kids.

best sling video I've seen (though wouldn't have been able to position M that high on my sore boobs when she was NB!)

Hi all, I've had a really crap night and feel grumpy, tired and unmotivated. Diego has refused to have a morning nap on top of it all, so I'm unwashed, unkempt and zombified.

I have the funniest and most uncomfortable thing in my left breast: it is 4 clusters of what I can only describe as small coldsores, both sides, under and between my breasts. It stings like hell. What could it be?

Becaroo thanks for sharing your routine. It sounds like pretty much what I'm doing, but it's good to know that you have got it under control like this. I do recommend Aveeno for moisturising, which I discovered in an eczema thread in MN. It's been fab.

Thanks for all your support, it means a lot. He got in last night by 11, fell asleep before me, I was up for a while in the night with c, then got up about 7.30. At 9 i tried to get him up, he was too tired! Finally rose about hour ago, and has taken dd1 to his mum's. I've got him to take dd2 as well, he did this once before when I was ill, and finds it easier than trying to keep her happy indoors, which is fair enough. Only downside is they'll only be gone an hour at most I bet, so I'm off to lie down. Will see if can implement some of your suggestions - to be fair he is better with dd1 cos he enjoys actually doing things - dad's group, cooking chocolate crispies or biscuits occasionally. Think it's like he's happy to do some fun stuff when he feels like it,, but not actually share the responsibility of the job of parent on anything like equal terms

ooh foxy

i knew you would have info about this, but i didn't want to bother you directly in the case of coming off too needy and really too helpless.

but i have no shame now.

they are saying that they think Noah has cow milk protein intolerance-- what does that mean exactly?

oh, starlight, behave yourself .... I did notice, but now you mention it I have to have another look... he's such a great demonstrator

splish, hope you enjoy a well earned rest!

eandz ask them for a RAST test to confirm or deny their suspicions and to find out its severity if it turns out he is allergic to cow's milk protein.

It is a blood test and they take a small amt of blood out of their hand under local anaesthetic.

If he is allegic to cow's milk protein, there is hypoallergenic formula available on prescription. They are still based on cow's milk but the proteins are broken down into smaller 'parts' in order to lessen or completely stop the reaction he is having.

Don't just go to soy milk formula without this information. A lot of babies have been put on soy formula on very little evidence. Make sure you get proper evidence through allergy testing.