August 2008 - The One where Sazzles was missing so this is what we got!

[oopsacoconut]

I can't do the list sazzles will have to do it when she is back!

Really miamla? are you teasing us or should we break out the (calorie free) Champagne?

Tired here as ds1 peed in his bed at 5am and woke me up with his crying, he then decided it was time to get up (we really need a knackered/haggard emoticon on here!). How do you clean a pee soaked mattress? Hellppp. The mattress protector was in the wash seeing as it's months since he wet the bed!

No time to say anything else but I have booked train tickets for 13th

If I manage to catch it (!) I will be on the train that gets in at 10.15
Have to get the 1.30pm train home to be sure of getting back in time to pick up ds1 though.

CC I will join you with that knackered/haggard emoticon. Bloody hell I'm tired. WHY does he insist on waking me super-early when he's stayed up really late?? I'm rather zombified this morning, and not really in good mummy mode because I'm too tired to do anything.

Thanks for the advice re eczema. I used to have it from when I was 13, but not badly and only on my arms. He seems almost covered. He's red on his back, chest & tum, arms, legs (with really bad patches on the backs of his knees) and one cheek all dry and red. I think Johnson's baby oil made it worse though, so might take him to docs just to confirm that it IS eczema, and get something for it. Don't really want to try steroid creams unless it gets desperate though.

Just to add fuel to the vaccination fire - MIL hasn't had her 3yo DD vaccinated against ANYTHING at all. I think that's a risk I'd rather not take. Re MMR, we'll see if Seb develops any allergies etc that could put him at risk. If not, we'll just have the MMR. If he does, we'll probably do single jabs.

sibh - I have just read your post. I guess that I am in a similar situation. Well, not really, but anyway, here goes with my situation.

I left my job when I married in Aug '07 and have been mostly unemployed since then, with a bit of part time work that I have continued to do while DS sleeps.

Yesterday I got a new job, which will be about 20 hours a week - working from home, so flexible. I think that DS and I will go to my ILs for the morning during the week, and I will work from their house and they can look after him - I will still be there for feeding/emergencies etc. They might also come over to ours and take him out for a walk for a couple of hours a few times a week as well (so I admit that the child care issues are very different).

Anyway, I am really pleased to have this job. It's interesting, will earn a bit of money, and although life with DS is wonderful I miss work. I'm not sure if I would feel the same if I hadn't been unemployed for so long.

So, there we go. I'll be starting some time in Feb I should think.

annvan why would allergies put Seb at risk??

You must have missed my 'please don't talk about MMR post' earlier

Also note, single jabs are not recommended as they do not go through the same safety checks and they leave your lo open to infection in between jabs (clamps mouth shut again)

sibh I haven't read your post and have looked back a few pages but still can't find it! But if you are feeling torn between work and staying home please don't feel bad. It is the age old dilemma.

I went back to work three days a week when ds1 was 6 months old, the same when dd was a year and will go back when dd is a year. I wouldn't do full time again but this is my compromise. It keeps my brain ticking over, gives me time with adults (not quite the same now I am working from home) and keeps me a nicer person. To be honest this time I could stay at home as with three of them there is never ending stuff to do (as you will notice by the absence of some of the other mums who used to post and now have three and don't anymore....) but dh won't have it as without my income we can't afford holidays/new kitchen/ etc etc

You need to do what is right for you. It is entirely personal but on MN (not here) you will always be judged if you raise the subject as it stirs up maternal guilt in everyone no matter which route they've chosen. Tbh I think I needed my mum more when she did go back to work (when I was 13) - I really really missed her after school. You can't win!

Thanks so much everyone for being so kind and taking the time to help me think things through. From all of your different perspective, you have put a coherent shape on exactly the issues that have been bubbling around in a tangled way in my own head. Really you are wonderful.

DH is being kind and supportive about the whole thing, and my mum has been great too. I find leaving babies when they are this age really hard, but DH has said how much he is looking forward to minding DD2 and stepping up his role now that the breast-feeding stage is coming to an end, and that is helping to make me more positive. He will never notice that a baby is upset as quickly as me, but he is a fantastic, magical daddy and besotted with all three of them ...

It's the fact that I don't really have the option to say yes or no to the work that has made it tricky and I think, to be honest, it's stirred up a lot of memories of when DS was very unhappy without me when he was 2. DH was unhappy in work at the time and the college I worked at treated DS as an intrusion into the 'vocation' of academic work and his nursery wasn't kind enough. We made big changes then (DH retraining, moving here etc). We emerged much happier. This time I'll be doing work I like, getting time away from DS and DD1 which is no bad thing (3 is crazy as PF says), and making a bit of money to support the financially precarious but lovely life we have here. I will also be able to buy DH a guitar for his 40th out of my own money which is important to me! The rest will go on cavity wall insulation. (And maybe, Dizzy, a wee dress)

The emotional issue of walking out of the room and being 40 miles away for a few hours will have to be tackled, but I'll battle on bravely with that.

PF Before the offer of teaching came up on Wednesday I'd been pottering around the house thinking about the fact that we've all moved beyond the survival stage of parenting and we're starting to make different choices about sleep, food, work, herd immunity, toys, the family dynamic and all the other stuff that we grapple with as parents of older children. Long may this remain a corner of mn where we can mention the things that trouble us and have our differences respected.

DD2 has lost her fight with a large plastic coat hanger so I need to rescue her without having chance to proof-read my ramble. Thanks again.

lol, yes i have posted on the due in sept thread but it was a congratulations message to a friend of mine! apologies for teasing you all but couldn't resist!

sibh, very very minor compared to your decision but DS was just left with my sister for an hour. sounds little but its the first time he's been without me and DP. Was v strange saying goodbye to him but he was chuckling at her when i got back so was all good. i can't imagine having to leave him for longer but i would feel happy if it was with his dad. personally i think you should go for it. if it really is awful do you have the option to stop or do you have to see it through to the end? oh, and you wouldn't be 40 miles away. you'd only be 20miles because you could meet your DH in the middle if needs be

Sibh as a child of parents who worked most of my childhood I can say with factual honesty that I did not feel I lost out. As I grew older and older my parent's jobs became cooler and cooler to me. My mom had a number of different jobs over a 20 year period. All were interesting in their own way. She gained close friends at each of them. My father worked at on three jobs over that same time span and then went into business on his own. The family business was awesome.

If I had to weigh the negatives and the positives, the positives would win.

It also provided me with the ground work for who I am today. My parents were examples for me to gain life experience from.

Your opportunity sounds totally cool. And I think as your kids get older they will think so as well....if you choose to do it, of course.

Miamla that was PRETTY sneaky of you.

if you want to see my shock announcement you need to look on the "due in august 09" thread

only kidding!

oh and forgot to say... some of you may remember that up until a day before DS was born, i was clambering up ladders trying to finish the paintwork in his room. someone (can't remember who now) showed an interest in seeing some photos of my handiwork and i've finally got round to uploading them on here. And yes, the more observant amongst you will notice a lack of curtains at the window... they're on my to-do list!

• meant Coal (link on the page that I linked to). I did realise after I had gone out that I hadn't actually checked the link . Haven't been there, so take no responsibility for the food, but they have sofas and the manageress sounded lovely.

miamla - naughty!

Have to go - having a jab seems to have sent DS2 mental (or it could have been the chocolate I bribed him with - he made SUCH a fuss beforehand screaming blue murder, and then didn't even realise it had happened) and DS1 might kill him if I leave them to it. Oh lordy, have just realised I now have two children who have had injections today - what a fun night this will be...

Oh I'm way behind again!
If anyone fancies Pizzahut tonight you can use this code to get a free large one, I've just done it online.

1. add first pizza with an upgraded crust (cheesy Bites)
2. add second pizza with just a normal crust (pan)
3. enter code BOG0201PB

hmm yes miamla, I was AGOG

ds is 15lb 3oz and tracking 50th centile so I'm going to continue with ebf for now

Baby Growth Percentile Calculator

Found the above link and entered Reese's stats. She as between 90/95% at birth and is now between 25/50%. NORMAL

Miamla I remember you working your ass off in those last days. WOW!! That room is amazing.

miamla I second TS's amazement at your l33t decorating skillz

Sibh I had so much waffle piercing insight to add to the whole debate, but I am so exhausted after a crap night and a loooooong day that I will spare you having to struggle through it. Suffice it to say that I think doing the work will be good for your mind, body and soul despite it being so hard to leave your little girl. I actually think that, in a way, it can be beneficial to stretch the bond a little bit, but that's only because I find myself going through a particularly clingy patch with DS (me, not him and am almost considering cancelling a dear friend's hen weekend in March because I can't bear the thought of being apart from him. The truth is that it will do EVERYONE a world of good for me to go - I will get to be 'cyteen' again, not just Mummy, DP will get some quality time with DS and DS will get to have a mum who is a real rounded person and not just a carer. But it is very hard...

Whoops, I didn't spare you the waffle after all. Sorry about that

God, I am tired. I feel like I've been beaten with sticks.

miamla the decor is FANTASTIC!!!!! may I announce you as the thread FDG (fecking decorating genuis!!!)

Sibh your DH sounds lovely - just ask when you need help with the dress I agree completely with what VG said about your return to work, although I wouldn't have put it so eloquently!!

just email me your address and I'll send on the book for you

[email protected]

longway may I please ask what your new job is, sounds perfect and congratulations btw

I'm so depressed about my current work situation I keep having ridiclious ideas and coming up with grand schemes to earn enough not to go back - I wouldn't even say I have a career as such, its just a job a trained monkey could do

cyteen completely understand, am currently badgering DH to phone and get our flights to NY moved from May to Nov and remember Dylan is my 3rd so I should be over this by now

sibh I will take that as a gentle slap to the wrist and try not to contribute when that particular topic comes up. I think, in my case, that would be best

And also I should apologise for not realising/remembering that you have three children yourself (I can't always remember who has what and never have time to check). I must have sounded a bit patronising.

Not one of my better posts perhaps

Anyway, despite that I stick by the fact that working is good for my mental health (never mind the financial side) and that is often the case for many others. Despite my comment about wanting my mum at home after school when I was an adolescent, she stayed at home for 13 years before that and was bored and miserable. Not while we were tiny but after we went to school. The thing is, it is not the bit where we were tiny that I remember!

I think you have summed it up yourself in that this brings back unhappy memories for you - but there is no need for history to repeat itself.

Anyway, I'm wittering on but just to say sorry if what I said sounded like a load of crap!

please miss, I have 3 too!!!

PF - I wonder how we'd all do if we had to answer a quiz on who had how many children, which kind, what ages, and where they are based. My mum had four girls and couldn't remember the names of her own children let alone how many anyone else had. She still starts with the name after the one she needs and works her way round to the right one when we're all together.

The herd immunity thing I could rant away on to my heart's content, and is perhaps the only parenting issue on which I have a fixed view. Your post on it was far more measured than I could have managed and spot on! And if I'd slapped your wrist we'd be into a smacking debate before we knw it

Cyteen - it has taken me the best part of six years to reach the realisation that what you say is true. Letting go is, as a dear friend said to me, the main part of being a parent from day one until they are fully grown. I hope you get some good sleep tonight by the way.

I read my last post back and feel the need to explain why I gave DD2 a coathanger in the first place. When they're at the age where they like holding plastic toys but concuss themselves with the bigger ones, a hanger is easy for them to hold and pick up again when they drop it. [implausible excuse for poor parenting emoticon needed I think]

Dizzy, I will email about the book. Thanks.

'Knew it'
I must brush up on my spelling before I start giving out to the arthurs about theirs.
Arthurs = a stroke of genius VG.

right sibh seeing as you're here, whereabouts are you in the emerald isle (don't need to be specific ) and where have you been on a jolly that you loved?