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September 08 Remember what we were doing this time last year?[wink]

1000 replies

Debs75goldrings · 03/12/2008 13:18

So what were we all doing this time last year?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
plusonemore · 06/01/2009 09:32

a very sleepy hello from me. DS2 has begun waking more and more in the night again. Last night he went to bed at 7.30, then he woke and i fed him at 10, 2, 4, he also woke but i ignored him at 5 and then i brought him into bed with us at 6 to feed him. Combined with DS1 waking at 1am i think the longest stretch of sleep i had was 2hrs and only about 4 and half hours in total.
Pleeeeeeaaaase tell me someone else went through this at 13 weeks old? I thought he'd only just had a growth spurt last week and I was counting on that being the last one until 16 weeks! Oh foolish me...
Also (and gonna post in feeding too) anyone got really dry skin since bfeeding? I know the weather doesnt help but when i feed on the right side i can feel my right arm tingle with sort of itchy-dryness am i allergic to bf??!!

plusonemore · 06/01/2009 09:34

oh, and starlight, my only advice is ignoring. IME these things will go stop in their own time regardless of what we do! They'll never really hurt themselves but its horrible to see isnt it?

foxytocin · 06/01/2009 11:13

drink more water. +1more.

wrt more waking, is it an option to keep him with you till you go to bed yourself and have lazy sleepy feeds? may tank him up for a longer spell in the dead of night.

Hopefully · 06/01/2009 11:16

Argh, we are having the amazing 24 hour cluster feed! T seems supremely unconcerned that he has only slept about 7 hours in the past 24. He i feeding for an hour or so every other hour, and has been since yesterday lunch. He is also being incredibly clingy so when I am not feeding him I am carrying him (Luckily he deigned to sleep for 2x 2hour stretches and 1x 1 hour last night in his cot, so I'm not actually dead). Perfect timing to go and pick up a ring sling from my friend!

I am continuing because I promised I would until wednesday. Plus I'm not quite sure that if I started giving him formula I wouldn't just be giving him a bottle every 2 hours rather than a BF, and at least I can MN while BFing!

Oh. He has fallen asleep feeding. i am too scared to move as i really feel he needs some sleep...

foxytocin · 06/01/2009 11:19

btw, i am deleting my facebook account. i don't use it often and their censorship is offputting.

please read this cut and paste below for more info. sorry this is so long. it is from the ABM list-serv

Mon Jan 5, 2009 2:55 pm (PST)
Forwarded with Author's permission

Please forward this message on to all your relevant contacts ! I am
desperate to get my research back, so I am going public with my story.

Hello,

My name is Emma Kwasnica. I am a 30-year-old Canadian tandem-nursing
mother living in Montréal, whose Facebook account has now been
entirely disabled over the breastfeeding photos controversy. The
official petition group on Facebook is called Hey Facebook,
breastfeeding is NOT obscene! . I am reaching out because I think you
might be interested in the Facebook fiasco over breastfeeding images,
and them being classed as "obscene, sexually explicit and
pornographic". Yes, I said breastfeeding. The most loving, selfless
act on Earth.

For the record, my entire Facebook account has now been deleted, with
no explanation from the administrators of Facebook. While they have
not confirmed the reason for disabling my account, I can only suspect
it stems from the fact that, in the days leading up to the disabling
of my account, I had photos of me breastfeeding my daughters deleted,
and was given a "warning" for having had uploaded "obscene" content
that renders Facebook "unsafe for children".
Given the amount of obscene, pornographic, and truly disturbing
photos, applications and groups that proliferate across Facebook, I
am stunned that this has happened to me. I am an aspiring
midwife/Childbirth Educator/ Breastfeeding Counselor; I run a lively
discussion group on Facebook called Informed Choice : Birth and
Beyond, and have been sharing all of my summarised research, studies,
links regarding pregnancy, birth and motherhood with a group of
nearly three hundred people, since July 2008. And now, everything
that I ever wrote, all my photos, all of my midwifery-related
research, has been deleted --right off the face of Facebook.
Furthermore, this does not concern me alone, as many (over a
hundred ?) other Facebook users had their posts deleted, too, since
whole discussion threads were deleted into oblivion, if it was indeed
me who began the thread (which, 80% of the time, I had started the
threads, since this was my group/me sharing the most recent research
relevant to the childbearing/-rearing woman).

Facebook has not responded to my e-mails politely enquiring why my
account has been disabled. They remain faceless. Hence the reason
why I am now reaching out and going public with my situation. I am
desperate to get my words back, and most importantly, the general
North American public needs to be made aware of Facebook's disgusting
double-standards regarding "decency". I am revolted to report that
Facebook allows the likes of a group called "Dead Babies Make Me
Laugh", and yet, someone such as myself, who wants nothing but to
inspire and help women on their journey to birthing healthy, vibrant
babies, has her whole account deleted.

I have now done radio station interviews (a Sakatoon one, as well as
Montréal's 98.5 FM), and was interviewed for 'La Presse' newspaper
here in Montréal, the article for which appeared in yesterday's
edition of 'La Presse' (the English translation for which you will
find below). I may be doing another one-hour long segment on the
same Saskatoon radio station at some point this week.

There is a Canadian slant to this whole Facebook fiasco, in that the
tireless organisor of the original online protest is from Ottawa
(Stephanie Muir), the site that is currently the "safe haven" for
breastfeeding photos which have been deleted by Facebook is a
Canadian one (TERA), is coordinated by Paul Rapoport of Hamilton,
Ontario, and now, the only (known) person so far to have had their
Facebook acount fully disabled over this issue --me, a Montreal
mother.

Please help me by spreading the word of Facebook's appalling actions
(such as by posting this to your blog), and consider this an official
plea to get the word out ! For the sake of the next generation of
babies, people everywhere need to understand that the larger issue of
normalising breastfeeding is deeply important here. In 2009, it is
unacceptable that women feel shamed, or are sexualised, while
providing the most normal, the most physiologically appropriate food
for their babies : breastmilk.

Sincerely yours,
-Emma Kwasnica, Montréal
(514) 656-1560

PS You will aslo find attached the scanned, full-page image from Le
Journal de Montréal, in which I am breastfeeding my daughters. This
is particularly relevant as Facebook has said that no major newspaper
in North America would publish the type of breastfeeding photos that
they have deleted. This simply isn't true - this newspaper image
(from October 2008) is living proof ! If Montreal, a city of over
3.5 million, can handle seeing this image in a daily newspaper, they
why can't Facebook ?

picasaweb.google.ca/emma.kwasnica/20081011BreastfeedingChallenge#5261616556288520402
*

MOTHERS CRUSADING AGAINST FACEBOOK
Daphné Cameron, La Presse
January 04, 2009

"Cover up this breast that I do not want to see."

Even though it was written in the 17th century, Molière's famous
refrain is still à la mode for those who run Facebook's networking
site.

For several months now, photographs of mothers breastfeeding their
children have been being deleted. The restriction has provoked anger
in women all over the globe. In protest, 11,000 women replaced their
profile picture with the image of a breastfeeding mother.

This online protest was organized for December 27th by Stephanie
Muir, an Ottawa mother outraged by the website policy, that says that
no "pornographic or sexually explicit" material may be uploaded to
the site.

"It is unthinkable that in 2008, such a loving image, one of a mother
breastfeeding her baby, can be perceived as sexual or offensive," she
said. "It's because we stigmatise women in this way, that mothers
make the choice not to breastfeed, or breastfeed for a shorter length
of time."

In additon to the web protest, a few dozen women assembled in front
of the Facebook headquarters in California, and nursed their babies
there.

The response by Facebook administrators was immediate. According to
Stephanie Muir, accounts of several protestors were disabled.

This is the case of Montrealer Emma Kwasnica, who no longer has
access to her personal account, since January 1st.

"Facebook began deleting photos of me breastfeeding my daughters on
December 28th", stated the 30-year-old who is studying to become a
midwife. "A few days later, the administrators disabled my account
with the only explanation being that I had uploaded obscene content.
Breastfeeding is the most beautiful thing in the world. How does one
automatically associate that with sex ?"

The protest organised by Stephanie Muir has provoked a media frenzy
in the United States. Facebook reacted by publishing a press release
that specified that only photos showing nipple or areola are banned.

Facebook reiterated that it is a private company which has the right
to decide which content it hosts on its site.

[email protected]

Katie

plusonemore · 06/01/2009 11:20

think youre right foxy, i keep thinking i'm not drinking nearly enough, maybe 2 glasses a day at mo. used to do big evening cluster feeding- til 8.30 ish, have been cutting it back partly for me to get evenings back and also cos he seemed overtired. maybe he just needs a couple of days to adjust??(i hope)

Befanasflower · 06/01/2009 12:06

foxy - I've heard of this before (and seeing the stuff they allow beggars belief really!). I think KnickersOnMaHead had her pics deleted and was warned recently... yes, just checked and it was her, she has the "obscene" pic on her profile

CarrieBo · 06/01/2009 13:37

Hello everyone, I'm back and normal service has resumed! I was very good and didn't cry as dh cycled off to work today, leaving me alone with two dcs for the first time since 19 December! In the two night we've been home, both dcs have slept through (ds from his 10:30 feed) which has been fabulous as they were quite disturbed while we were away - one night they woke us 6 times between them, with only 1/2 sleep between wakings sometimes! I'm sure they collaborated over that one.
Ds is so much more wakeful now - he was an incredibly sleepy newborn, but he has wonderful happy awake times, and provided I catch the first yawn, he goes for sleeps without too much fuss. Except for new years eve where he went to sleep two hours late, in a bouncy chair! Now of course I'm fretting that he doesn't like tummy time and hasn't rolled over yet which is sister did at 12 weeks...

DebiTheScotUpAChimney · 06/01/2009 14:29

wow I'm shocked at that facebook stuff. It's madness.

lollipop we were in Aviemore, near Inverness. The inlaws have a time share there. It was beautiful even though it was cold. i'm glad we went with them.

We came home yest, another non-stressful train journey. DH back to work today and so far both ds's are behaving. They both did really well the whole time we were away. DS2 had a couple of restless evenings but on the whole was pretty similar to at home. He hit 16 weeks over Christmas (was 18weeks yest) and didn't seem much different at all.

Do any of you not wake your babies to feed them at 10.30/11pm ish? If you don't, what do they then do? Some nights ds2 wakes himself or wakes as soon as I go into our room but most night I have to try quite hard to convince him to wake. After that feed he usually then wakes about 3.30-4.30ish for about 10mins and then about 7-7.30. He's showing no signs of dropping the middle of the night feed but I wonder what he'd do if I didn't wake him at 10.30. In theory it'd mean I could go to bed early and if he then still only woke once in the night that'd be great but I suspect he'd maybe do something like midnight and then 5am or worse, 6am and then be up for the day.

Hopefully · 06/01/2009 14:50

That facebook thing is ridiculous! I can add it to my list of reasons to boycott facebook.

Managed to con T into 90 mins sleep by going for a walk with the pram, back home now and waiting for him to wake and demand yet more feeding!

plusonemore · 06/01/2009 15:33

well the day is much like the night, ds has had 3x20min sleeps today and lots of extra feeds. have given up trying to get a nap myself so am going to wash my hair and put some nice clothes on to make myself feel better. as for facebook...i just like it as an easy way of sharing photos and being nosey keeping in touch with people. think it was crazy to delete photos- marketing ploy on their behalf?? (no publicity is bad publicity???)

digitalgirl · 06/01/2009 16:32

Thanks hopefully keep on trucking through that cluster feed! Not long to go now...

A scored a double whammy and was a total star for our trip into town today. First ever tube journey and he was as good as gold. Not a peep from him as he calmly watched the stations roll by, wasn't even interested in looking at me. Fell asleep as we rolled around HMV and then woke up as we sat down for lunch with some ex-colleagues. Allowed everyone to hold him, then happily chomped on his finger/bib combo as we got back on the tube where he fell fast asleep.

I can now honestly say I am thoroughly enjoying being a mum on maternity leave!

digitalgirl · 06/01/2009 17:02

I heard about facebook banning BF photos through DH - just goes to show how much breast-feeding is still seen as offensive to some (ignorant) people! I'm so very glad I discovered MN as it's given me so much confidence to breastfeed, seeing me through the tough early days and reminding me I'm not alone in continuing to 6 months.

foxy what are they like in AD with breastfeeding in public?

lollipopmother · 06/01/2009 17:10

Debi - What time do you put LO to bed? I put E up at 9pm, she seems to sleep until about 4am, has a full feed then back until 8am where she wakes up but rarely feeds or only has a small one. When I was putting her to bed at 10-10:30pm she would sleep til 6am sometimes even 8am! God I wish for those days again!!

ninjinglebells · 06/01/2009 18:14

M strarted laughing today (when blowing raspberries on her belly). I'm writing it here in case I forget!!

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 06/01/2009 21:36

deb Baby Starlight isn't even in bed at 10:30pm so no waking needed.

Aaaaaagh tis truly the 16w growth spurt upon us. BS fed constantly from 8pm-12:30am then 3:30am-4:20am, then 7:00am-7:30am then 8:00am-8:15am.

digitalgirl · 06/01/2009 22:02

deb A usually wakes at around 11:30pm for a feed. Sometimes it's as late as 12:30 and the other night he didn't wake till 2am, but then the next feed was at 7am. I don't bother waking him up if it's gone 11:30 and I'm in bed as he just does that thing where he purses his lips and refuses to latch on! I just sleep and expect to be woken within the hour.

We had only one wake up whinge since I put him down at 7pm tonight. DH picked him and he instantly calmed down, then put him straight down and patted him to sleep. Phew! It is getting better.

It really is nice having an evening with DH. We cook dinner together and talk about the day. And then spend the rest of the night looking at photos of DS on the computer...

ipanemagirl · 06/01/2009 22:04

Hello all! Hope it's ok to pop in!
dd is also laughing occasionally which is the best best best sound I've ever heard!
She's up now though. I've had three days in and out of bed with a vile cold so her sleep pattern is all thrown.

imoscarsmum · 06/01/2009 22:10

Wow - spent an hour catching up - can't believe how many posts over xmas, thought it would be quiet!
Happy new yr all - probably gonna be mammoth post as i catch up etc, sorry if i forget who said what.

So, no 4 month growth spurt here....hmm....C is 16 weeks tomorrow (where oh where did it go) and dropped her colic about 2 weeks before xmas and dropped her dreamfeed about 3 days before xmas. Basically we just didn't wake her up at 10.30pm to see and she just slept through, and now sleeps most nights 7.15pm to 7.30am on her tummy. I know we are lucky/have angel baby etc etc (sorry, hv inferred I was lying about her sleeping through when she was only a few days old, and I am fed up with apologising for C's sleeping habits to other mums in RL....). i do sympathise with those who have little sleep but it's just what c does!

She did have a massive growth spurt around 12/13 weeks but can't believe that was it.

hopefully I am also fretting about going back to work. i am due back on 2 April and am panicking that time is flying by. I don't think i could be a SAHM but I don't even have the option of going back, say, 4 days a week as I earn the most £££.
Poor DP feels bad but his new business is going great but does not bring in enough money yet. So he works long hours and yet I supply 2/3 of our income. i also have a defined benefit pension which would be reduced if I went back part time and DP has no pension (the business will be his pension long term, but is not guaranteed yet), so we are relying on me to work full-time also.
Sigh - just feeling sorry for myself. I did/do love my job and it is flexible but I am so so possessive of C at the moment and find it hard to let anyone else hold her apart from DP.
Even lovely MIL is annoying me - trying to grab her whenever she can. i feel like saying f**k off - you've got her 2 days a week in April!

She also said if C had a cough, to give her honey!!!!! Have bought the good granny guide - a light hearted update book for grans looking after babies.

SIL also was adamant that I should be weaning C now (her DD is 4) as that's what everyone does....I also find it strange to see baby food on sale advertised as suitable from 4 months - surely this is not allowed now?
No matter, we're not weaning till 26 wks.

question when DD goes to nursery/gets looked after by MIL will she forget who I am? Will she resent me for going back to work?

CarrieBo · 06/01/2009 22:13

debi we didn't wake ds for his 10:30ish feed a few times while we were away over Christmas, and those nights he slept worse. He tended to wake at about midnight, have a very sleepy feed, and wake up about 4 hours later. Whereas when we get him up at 10:30, I feed, change and play with him, then a bit more of a feed in the dark to calm him down and put him to bed wide awake and the next thing we hear from him is in the morning. According to she-who-must-not-be-named babies are capable of one long sleep stint at this age, so by waking them at 10:30ish you're training them to have that long stint in the core night, rather than, say, 7pm-2am. Also having an hour awake makes them sleep better for the long stint. That's def been true for ds, if he doesn't really wake for the feed, then he doesn't take on enough to see him through, and if he's already had one really long stint then he doesn't seem capable of another one in the same night and we get quite a few wakings. SOrry that's a bit rambly!

digital I know what you mean. You put the dcs to bed, or even go out...and all you do is talk about the dcs and look at photos of them and share how cute their latest smile is. We are muppets aren't we?!

imoscarsmum · 06/01/2009 22:16

Oh and DP now flown to Las vegas for 7 nights on business. He will miss the sight every morning of C laughing and smiling when she is woken up in the morning for her feed. She is such a smiley baby!

(I will miss his help though....)

Am keen to get out more with DD but not keen on just going shopping (too expensive anyway) - really want to drive out to some nice parks, walks along the river dee etc but not sure about facilities. What do others do? i can change/feed C in car if I have to but what about going to loo yourself? I can't guarantee that public loos will fit the pram and often disabled loos are radar key. I stick to the shops cos i know what's there but would love to do more.

CarrieBo · 06/01/2009 22:17

imoscarsmum we're very pleased for you, go C!!
C won't forget who you are. I'm a SAHM and my dd has a way better relationship with dh than with me, they're the best of friends, and he's out at work all day every day!

Hopefully · 06/01/2009 22:32

Oh god, what a comically crap evening. It's DP's birthday today and I tried to make him a nice meal, timed to be ready soon after T finished feeding. Naturally T didn't settle and screamed and screamed. By the time I'd extricated myself from the kitchen and sat down to feed him again, dinner was ruined. I then cried because I'd ruined DP's birthday meal, DP cried because I was upset, T cried because he'd had to wait 30 seconds for a feed so was too stressed to latch on properly so nothing was coming out... It was awful. Luckily within half an hour T had drifted off on my lap and we'd given up on the main course and were scoffing the cheesecake and wine.

T's now feeding again. I am so stressed out by this insane feeding regime, especially knowing how easy it would be to solve the issue by giving formula. DP is also pressuring (in a nice way) me to, as he hates seeing me stressed out. I am determined to give it another day or two - baby group will get me through tomorrow as it will distract me, and then with a bit of luck we'll begin to see an improvement by thurs.

imoscarsmum we bought MIL the good granny guide (hoping she'd think it was a light hearted present but take it to heart) and she laughingly said, 'oh, I don't need that' and stuffed it in the back of the bookcase. Ah well.
I don't feel too of your sleeping through though, as I remember the colic hell you had. i reckon you've paid your dues enough to deserve a reward!

We found the same as Carriebo - if we didn't wake T he was worse in the night. Although not an issue at the moment as he is barely sleeping in the evening

imoscarsmum · 06/01/2009 23:05

Hopefully your posts are so 'readable' - you should write a book! Sorry you had a crap evening, though it sounds it went OK in the end.

My evening has gone downhill a bit cos DP just called from Philadelphia and his connecting flight to vegas been delayed and may even be cancelled and there are no flights tomorrow! So i am now worried about him and what he'll do, so won't sleep until he's sorted out...sigh.

foxytocin · 07/01/2009 08:19

ave fed a few times in public here. no real difficulties but i never had the urge to make a bf statement while feeding in public

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