we did it, we did it, the babies are here, now come and join us and we will give you a cheer!!!!

[Dozymare]

Hope this works

thought i would start a thread for those of us already in the heady World of motherhood, so we can share the trials and tribulations of the early days....

I shall start with my birth story and hope other's follow and I haven't started a dud thread

As you know I was dreading a 3rd CS, almost to the point where I was having panic attacks - we went in on the Thursday and after waiting for an EMC we were taken to theatre where I was DELIGHTED to recognise the aneathatist (sp!!) who helped deliver DS2. Now, one of my major fears about a 3rd CS was the fact that having had a "perfect" excperience with DS2, it6 wouldn't be possible to experience the same thing again...I was wroing, it was better The whole thing was started at 1315 and Tallulah was born at 1344 weighing 7lbs 2oz. She has a shock of dark hair but seems so small compared to the boys who were 9 and 10lbs respectively. The care I recieved was absolutely 2nd to none - no complaints or gripes.........So far so good.........

HOWEVER.........my god, do you forget the pain of breastfeeding before the milk comes in - I am in absolute agony and have had to top up with aptamil as the poor wee thing is so, so hungry...I am literally BF for up to 2 hours (the point of pain in both udders ) and then topping up with Aptamil. She guzzles 30ml and then settles.......As for sleep - sleep is for wimps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello ladies,

for those with who have baby siblings playing up - we had out 2 coming into bed with us every night for the first week baby home - last few days this seems to have stopped though so am hoping things are getting back to normal a bit - helped when I spent more time with them - i.e. painting with DD1 etc. I know there will be probs when DH goes back to work though.

Biggest learning I am having as a mum of late (only taken 4 years!) is that so many things are just phases so am learning to deal with any difficult / odd behaviour but just ride it out without taking it too much on board as it should be over before you realise. Am also taking this stand with all the difficult nights ahead with Greta!

Hope all those with painful stiches and scars feel better soon.

For those who have had c sections - how soon after did you drive? I know standard is 6 weeks but I am not even 2 and feel up to things a lot more than before (not that I would drive as yet!)...

Congrats Hana and ewelcome - what name have you chosen? I can't get on the other thread for some reason so please update me when you can

Ceebee - congrats again and hope all is going well. I am ff and my boobs were really painful and leaky for about a week and a bit but was helped by the mw giving me some tablets in hosp to dry up my milk. I take medication for my back which will be passed thru milk hence the ff. It does get better but try asking your mw about these tablets. Otherwise I just had to leave them alone and found relief by standing under a warm shower!
Thanks Pinky for the reassurance about james falling asleep with me.

anyone got an overeager 3yr old who keeps trying to carry the baby? i have. she had her half out of the pram today when sophie was napping. i feel like i cant turn my back for a second. am considering building the cot this week and putting sophie in her own room in the day for naps.

autumnlady I didn't realise you were FF, got the wrong end of the stick there, sorry! But yes fallign asleep is a common thing!

misdee yup DS is 3.5 and has on a number of occaisions tried to carry thebaby to me

That's ok Pinky, I didn't make a big thing of it before and not sure I even mentioned it on our thread whilst pg. James is quite a windy baby and sometimes it takes a while to get it all up, hence us both falling asleep! He's just so warm and snuggly and I'm so tired that we can't help ourselves!

morning.

sophie had a bad night. she just wouldnt settle at all and kept screaming.

she is a bit windy and grumpy tjis morning as well.

i have been sorting out nappies this week as am down to the last pack of disposables. so been organising my washables by size. the nursery looks lovely with baskets of nappies all sorted nicely. i give it a week till its a mess again lol.

Morning.
We are at breaking point.
We have been up all night.
Till 5am.
When dh gave him to me, and said 'take him to our bed. i must sleep. i have to go to work.

i sobbed and sobbed yesterday night at about 10pm. i just don't know what to do with him. dh is concerned too.
ds said, 'i don't think it was a good idea to have a baby'.
'why' dh and i said, shocked.
'he cries all nught and keeps me awake' said ds.
quite frankly, i sit here this morning, feeling the same

he is very sleepy. poohs are green, sometimes.
suggesting wind. maybe i should try infacol AND colief.
I have been expressing and throwing away the first 20ml of each breast, in order to get more hind milk into him, as recommended by over supply guides. that doesn't seem to have helped.

at 10pm he was still downstairs. dh said the only thing we haven't tried is formula. off i go to get some from our supplies.

so between 10 and 12 he takes about 5-6 oz of formula. wide awake and chirpy.
I take him to bed at midnight. he continually feeds and winds, feeds and winds. at 3 or 4 am i have had enough.

I let him cry. and cry and cry. thinking 'tough love'. I can't do this holding him, co sleeping shit anymore. he needs to sort himselfout. and ds1 will have to get used to a bit of crying until he does.

then I take him back to his cot.
I wind. no burp. 25 mins i wind for. put down . leave room. he cries immed. i go back. wind him. burp. roots. I ffed him. wind him. no burp. put him down. cries. so it goes on.

at 5 am i leave him to cry and cry. dh comes. he has been in and out all night, to be fair.
he swaddles him and brings him to me.

i have cranial oestopath booked for tomoorow. ds1 had 2 sessions and i was not convinced, but am prepared to try anything.

am thnking that tough love is required. have fed him once thsi morning, but admittedly, not at 7am like GF would like.

should i keep him awake and feed every 3 hrs. MAKE HIM

mind you, when nanny seaside and sil where here the other day keeping him awake and feding him lots, that made no difference.

during the night I opened up another formula and he had another 4oz of that. so he had 11oz throught he night.

I bf him this morning though. not formula.

I want to post on the breat bottle section , or the AIBU.

How to change night time 4 wk old ?

thinking oif adding, because we are now at breaking point, and i realy resent him/hate him.
but hope thta last bit is not true.

but seriously we can't continue like this.

I am at a loss as to what to try next.

morning - Sorry not been on for ages and as a result a million posts to catch up on. HUGS to everyone who needs them.

Well DS seems (fingers crossed) the majority of the time ok now but when he was a screaming fit boy does he. My mum and dad have even (finally) seen the behaviour and how bad it is. You dont even need to be near him to get vented at! He never really "blows up" with my mum or dad, might try it on though. DS is worst with DH and my sister and sometimes with me. Nightimes so far back on schedule but I do try to dedicate myself to him like I used to and leave DH to sort Alyssa if need be.

I'm emotionally all over the place. Tried to talk to mum about DS and my emotions but she either "said not our fault but they dont have a problem and me and my sister were never like that" (keep in mind 2yr 5m diff with DS and DD and 4 years with me and my sister) or change the subject and talk to my sister about something from Argos. I felt hurt and alone and of course even more upset as the one person I thought I could talk to I couldn't. Then yesterday my mum phoned out of the blue and said her and dad we concerned about me as dont seem myself am i ok?! Fine one minute then crying my eyes out the next. Normally I will cry in relation to DS. If he has one of his bad behaviour fits or lashes out, only so much hurt I can take. Also keep feeling like DS behaviour is my fault as he didnt ask for this "situation" and I feel like I am letting him down and then feel worse, even though he needs it, when I tell him off.

Alyssa (now 13 days old) is feeding well and is up between 1 and 2 times in the night for a feed depending on what I have done in the day. Just got my GF book to look at as I did/have found the routine aspect great for DS and me although I didnt follow it to the letter just applied what I thought was good. Going to start waking her when necessary as she can sleep for very long periods of time.

2 issues with Alyssa:

1. Sometimes she just wants to be held (normally at bad times of course!) to go to sleep but the rest of the time will sleep on her own. Should I be tough and not cuddle her to sleep? I wouldnt at an older age but not sure if should be so strict at this age.

1. Sometimes shortly after a (very good) feed she will still be trying to get more "rooting" I think it is called. The other day after ages of her crying as I was desperate and knew it wasnt hunger, wet nappy or wind but my finger in her mouth. After a couple of sucks she was asleep! Keep thinking I should get a dummy for extreme circumstances. What do you think?

With DS we ended up after a few weeks of hell resorting to a dummy for such cases and after a month or two he just didnt want it anymore. Even though I think dummies are ok I wouldnt use unless really necessary and believe in getting rid of it asap.

Alyssa poorly - We ended up on Saturday taking her to drop in clinic at hospital. For the last few days she has had severe chest noise, blocked nose and stuff like a cold and gunge in one eye. Doctor said nothing to worry about as still feeding and no fever. Unfortunately though DS was supposed to be going to a birthday party which we had built him up for all day as was something just for him. He ended up getting there for the last half hour, missed food, missed games and didnt even play with any of the other children when we got there as I guess he was sort of an outsider (they were friends from school or relatives and he missed the bonding bit and played on his own). Broke my heart and I cried my eyes out for hours after (still upsets me now) . Just feel like I let him down.

oh obs {[[[}}}}}}}}

i dont know what to suggest. but i want to make you a tea and give you cake.

Welcome Ceebee
Welcoem Hana

Roca, I drobve last week, at 4 wks. Gp o.k.d it.

Misdee, ds(4.10) keeps trying to life ds2 up. I keep telling him that gp, says no, becasue ds2's neck muscles are not strong enough - making out I had spoken to gp about it.
But he still does it. when ds is crying. he wanders into the dining room with him, he has picked him upby sliping him arms under ds2's arms and has him facing out, with his hands round his chest. scares me rotten. not good for neck support.

oh Oblomov that's just terrible.
Have you tried putti9ng him in the pram and just walking him around- or even driving him in the car somewhere? Just to get a few minutes peace. I know a few people who went in for night time shopping at the trafford centre becuase their babies screamed so much at night.

NoT A great deal of help, sorry, but big hugs.x

oh Vbab, my heart goes out to you.
You need abig hug too, eh ?
I have to go now, I need to be at appointment at 10, and am sat here in dressing gown, unwahed, with ds1 not dressed.
Will post big virtual hugs and some advice,m if i can think of any, to yuo later.

vbab you sound very fed up. Have you read a bit furhter down this thread- some of us were talking about the exact same issues last nigth- it might help.

Please remeber, though it is upsetting, your little man is only very young, and most of this will be a distant blip in his life that he really won't remember- but he will have a sibling- and siblings are a very good thing for a child to have.

Just remind yourself it's just a phase, he is going through a lot of chnages, and he is twol!

Obs Goodess, no wonder you are at breaking point - that is such a lot to be going through night after night.........Firstly, REMEMBER IT WILL GET BETTER. Not much good to hear that now, I know but IT WILL.

I am not sure what to suggest - it doesn't seem to be a hunger issue as boy god, your little lad drunk loads of Formula - it doesn't seem to be a wind issue as he didn't bring any up...To me, it seems to be he doesn't like his "sleep environment" unless he is on you. Where does he sleep in the day???? If he is in his room, then it shouldn't make a difference at night. If however, he sleeps on you or DH in the day, then I can uinderstand why he would freak out when you put him into a big cot.....

Also, are you feeding every 3/4 hours or on demand??

ceebee and any one else re sibling rivalry, I had it really bad with DS1 when DS2 was born. He REALLY resented him and was so unhappy it broke my heart. I quite literally, had to involve him in EVERYTHING (which was exhausting) but made him feel better so I did it. For those of you stressing about that - My 2 DS's are now best friends, thick as thieves and LOVE EACH OTHER SO< SO MUCH. It went on for about 2 months IIRC.

Heartmum what is silent reflux?? Interesting I started a thread last week on this exact same problem as Tiger does this at some feeds..............Had some good advice on my thread but it really, really scares me........She almost seems to foget how to breath when she chokes......How do you know if your LO does have it? Is it every feed?????? BTW< new pics of Zack are GORGEOUS!!!

I'm sorry, can't remember anything else, but HI to everyone!!!

Morning all, I am shattered.
Being mum of 2 feels real now, I don't even know what time who was up in the night. I know DS was up twice, one of those cos he'd weed through his nappy and pyjamas, and that DH got up and took him downstairs ridiculously early so he is overtired now and combined with this cold which doesn't seem to be shifting has left him a real joy to be around! He has gone to nursery this morning so hopefully he will feel entertained and distracted from feeling grotty.
DD came in our bed to feed and I scared myself as I think she got too hot, I fell asleep with her between us. She's fine now, waiting in for the MW to do her heel prick test

Goodness, that took me so long to type I missed lots of posts...going to read your's now vbab and see if I can help in any way.......

Choc haven't got your mobile, but as you have probably gathered am stuck at home with DS2 and the flu!!!

roca I drove at 10 days post CS. The DR and MW said that as long as I was capable of doing an emergency stop (and you have to stamp your foot hard to prove you can) then you are ok to drive.........My insurance company were happy with that...

Sorry, had pre march out visit while I was typing that so missed loads of peoples stuff.
I think we all have to remember/cling to the fact that it is all temporary, even if no fun. As HM2J says kids do everything in phases, and this is just another one, even if they didn't choose it. They will calm down, get used to night times/siblings etc and WE WILL SLEEP ONE DAY!
Hugs all round

Good morning everyone

Dozy, did my back in quite badly yesterday trying to lift ds1 and never came back to this thread as packed myself and ds2 off to osteopath but just read your last post to me and, oh my goodness, my dh runs it!!! So that completely reveals myself to you, i guess...This is a little bizarre... Trying to rack my brains as to who you/your dh might be...

Pinky, i was also at a german christmas market this weekend but twas here in London. Was fab. Ds1 got to decorate a gingerbread with edible paint and sweeties in Mrs Christmas' house

Heartmum, ds2 is doing exactly that and i am convinced it is silent reflux Going for confirmation from paed tomorrow so will let you know. He also struggles at feeds (v stressful) and seems to have so much painful wind (mainly bottom end!)Ds1 had terrible reflux for his first year, which along with being premature and a boy apparently pre-disposes them. Reflux is so hideous.

Obs, i so wish my brain was a little clearer to be able to write something of use to you. But i feel for you so much, had similar experience with ds1 (i have always partly blamed birth trauma for him being such an unsettled baby but that's a different story...) This time things are marginally better purely because i do just keep ds2 on my chest to sleep, as exhausting and frustrating as it can be at times. But this time i have the confidence that he will eventually settle into life and learn how to sleep well. Ds1 is now a fantastic sleeper. As pp said this too shall pass. And it will. And your feelings are all so normal and so ok, goodness screaming babies are so stressful in themselves but coping with it while severely deprived of sleep...

vbab, so sorry to read of your struggles too. And of Alyssa being poorly. I can't answer your questions but am very much of the cuddling to sleep school. Rightly or wrongly, i have no idea! Am also having problems with ds1,just really starting 6/7 weeks in. He has started to get so angry with me. And keeps saying he doesn't want his little brother and can't i put him back in my tummy It is so hard. I used to have such a lovely relatioship with him and now it feels almost non-existant. I do think that crazy up and down emotions are par for the course in the early days and i think finding support is crucial (even here!) but i also know from experience that if they continue it might be worth talking to hv/gp rather suffering in silence.

Off now to try to peel my sore sore back off the sofa

Big congrats to all new dark side members and their lovely babies x

Morning everyone

Obs/Vbab big virtual hugs to you both - it really sounds like you are going through the mill with it

Vbab what you said about the guilt for 'inflicting' this situation on our eldest children - that is exactly how I feel about it. In fact, I think that is the hardest thing for me - dealing with the fact that we made this decision that was going to impact on DS1 so much and he had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Having said that, DS1 has been an angel this morning and a delight to be around again - long may it continue! DH has taken him to a soft play centre for a couple of hours which gives me time to MN sort stuff out, bath Sam etc. As Mondays is usually my day off, I often take DS1 to a soft play area so hopefully this will make him think things are normal! Also, we have decided not to bath the 2 of them together just yet as DS1 loves his baths with his daddy and had a whale of a time in the bath yesterday (the first one he has had since before I gave birth) so I don't want to spoil that special time for him with Sam just yet. Plus we have no visitors planned today so we can just relax.

I am feeling much better today - not in anywhere near as much pain as yesterday - plus Sam slept from 10.30, stirred at 2.30ish so I tried to feed him but he wasn't that interested, went straight back to sleep until 6am this morning so we all managed to get a lot of sleep which has probably helped us all.

Re dummies I am using one for Sam - mainly because of the FSID stuff but also we used one with DS1 for sleep times only and it seemed to work. I only give it Sam when I put him down for a nap/bedtime and even then he spits it out quite quickly.

This is a me me me post again isn't it? I will catch up with everyone soon - sorry!

Morning all and bigs hugs for those who need them.

Dummies - I have given james a dummy as sometimes he just wants something but it's not food, cuddles, changing, wind etc. He doesn't always take it and often spits it out after a couple of mins but it does the trick. I don't put him down with one tho. I'm not a great fan of them but it does seem to comfort him enough to go back to sleep when he wakes for no reason.
Xx

zoned out don't worry, I have no idea whatsoever who you or your DH are, BUT my DH knows your DH!! He just so happened to be on the sofa last night when I waws posting to you and talking about Rugby, and he said oh I know who that is....NK!!! Hence why he asked me to ask about the Sports Awards....My DH is MM and works for the company sponsoring the event - He set up the original deal with your DH! Another clue, is my DH works with his brother...initials are LM. Both Scottish. There, that should help you work out who we are!!!

I am soooooo fed up - ds2 is so poorly with this flu virus and I HATE being housebound. Even with MN to keep me entertained!!!!

AUTUMNLADY Are you a fully dfledged member now??!!! Presume your laptop has arrived - hurrah

ceebee meant to say, your Sam is gorgeous....can't believe he slept so long!!!!!!!! Lucky oyu!!!

Dozy, how hilarious!! What a small world! Just called dh as was too curious and yes, he knows them both well! He has just emailed your dhnow. |Looks like we will both be dh-less on thurs night, then.

Hope this nasty flu leaves your house soon, it is so miserable being stuck in with poorly dc's.

oops, excuse appalling typos

one handed bleary eyed typing was never my forte.