Desperate Housewives too, lordy you people need to go to the theatre once in a while. I don't know what Hilly Trees is either. Speaking of the theatre, my BIL is dancing with the English National Ballet atm in... Angelina Ballerina! He has to wear a mouse head with the usual obligatory tights. If any of you with age-appropriate children are interested, I hear it is excellent.
MKG, thank you for the explanations. I have many more questions but it's not fair to bug you. I'm still confused about saltwater taffy as that picture you linked too looks like toffee. What do you think toffee is? I suffered from the revolutionary lack of grammar in schools that was trialled and subsequently failed in the 80s. Thankfully I had a natural interest in language (2 of my 3 degrees will attest to this) and learnt it anyway. I find the current lack of knowledge concerning grammar, semantics, pragmatics and semiotics utterly depressing. When I'm PM I'll shake things up a bit. And redecorate Number 10 with tie-dye and hemp.
PJ, I love Dirty Dancing, it's my guilty secret. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm concerned about you. Those mad people you encountered are clearly sanctimonious, sticky-beaked twits but you were very, very angry with them. This doesn't sound like you. It's my Buddhist temperament coming out I'm sure but you shouldn't let their negativity enter your life. You must accept and acknowledge that they are fuckers misguided but maintain your own calm. Or trip them up.
TYG, I completely understand your frustration. You refer to my "wonderful placid nature and intrinsic understanding of children" which I am sure is code for 'lazy and immature'. You've been misled. Firstly, the library is terrible. A children's library with such ridiculous rules about pushchairs and jobsworth workers (they're not librarians, public libraries don't employ librarians anymore, it's too expensive which is disgusting) is pitiful. Our local library and the mobile van that I walk to in the village is fabulous. Leaving their stairs open so that children are tempted is stupid. Tilda loves Wibbly Pig, Spot, that Ollie duck, Peepo Baby, Each Peach and any lift the flap books atm. I find that music CDs are brillig. M loves them and dances/sings/does the actions. On here I have the Head/Shoulders and Wheels on the Bus CDs. She does the actions and is entertained for hours. She loves it even more if I sing along in a silly voice. There's a MNer, I think it's Aitch that says you have to remember the 'fucked-upness' of the world according to children. The rules are arbitrary seemingly. We try to teach them by demonstration that we are there when they need us, we don't withold affection then all of a sudden a new baby comes along and they don't really understand the concept of siblings and sharing and suddenly no you can't have my attention and a cuddle now, you must wait. It's a good lesson to learn but it makes no sense of course when you're just learning. Similarly, don't touch that radiator/TV dial/knife doesn't make sense. Why was I encouraged to touch and feel things for months and praised for my inquisitiveness when today I'm admonished and restrained. Again, it's safety, but why are certain objects out of reach. I applaud Mathilda for climbing the stairs, but I shout a warning when she's halfway up the fireguard (alarming regularity). I never, ever underestimate the power of talking and explaining to M. I think it's important to say 'I understand you want to do that but here's why you can't' and then distract, distract, distract with that silly high-pitched/excited voice that's delivered with the placenta. "Oh look, it's fantabulous, over there, can you see, ooh I can't contain my excitement, it's a shoe, a magic shoe, look, look darling offspring". Either they look and wander off or stare at you like you're nuts. I just try to remember how the world looks through her eyes and how frustrating it is to be so small.
Oooh, was going to type more but the bank's on the phone. Will be back...