May 2008 - we just couldn't wait!

[thefortbuilder]

for everyone who's popped already and congratulations to us all!

Hi all,

Quick catch up as I'm expecting DD to wake at any moment...

LM74, how lovely to get out, just you and DH and also at your ring! Grr at the lady in the supermarket though, they really shouldn't comment. Perhaps she thought you were just stocking up really early ???

mumofk - sorry to hear your still not feeling well, I can only recommend a teaspoon of honey to help with the coughing.

Pina - hope the Dr Brown bottles work. DD is having a bit of tummy trouble but it's soon sorted with gripe water.

All ok here, things ok with DP, just taking it day by day. DD now 9lb 4oz so has put on 1lb 11oz in 3 weeks

not been on in ages, loads of probs at home at the moment, but nothing major. thank you flick for your kinds words on my thread!

podglet - read your thread, thinknig of you, you poor thing, sending you hugs.

isla still being really good, thank god for that as i have far too much on with the house renovation and my family to have a problem baby. i am so lucky

hi all, not been on since bubs born last week, where do you all findthe time to get on the computer?

things here are going ok, a bit up and down. on a real high for the 1st few days then fully crashed on thr weekend. ds2, still no name(its getting harder as we go on, but we think Noah, but too tired to make anything offical!?) has been having a few feeding probs which lead to scabby nipps and mastitis in one side which has spread to the other side now aswell despite antibiotics, my boobs are soooo sore i cant hold either ds easiliy

but we getting it sorted, i just wish the bloody weather would warm up as every time i shiver my nipps sting!

ds1 is really struggling with the new arrival, 1 moment he is really distant, then really whiny, then pushes me away, then brings the bubs a rattle! i know it wil pass but its real hard wot with sore boobys too! thank god dh is home for another week.

other than that ds2 is lovely and cuddly and a crazy feeding monkey!

anyway timw for me to put my feet up, bugger the dishes, ds1 and 2 are finally asleep although ds2 is on my lap and you can guarantee that as soon as i move he'll wake up!

hope you are all ok, big hugs to those having a tough time, sorry not replying to you personally but i really cant read back through the posts

podglet LOL at stocking up on nappies really early??!!!
Glad things are OK with DP.

pina Dr Browns bottles: We got a little set of tongs in our steriliser to use, but I see what you mean about the insidey bit. TBH, I always just put them together with my hands but made sure I scrubbed them clean with anti-bacterial wash first.
The disc thing either needs a good hard tap on the kitchen unit, or try and get your nail on the half moon 'cut out' bit to lift it out. Good luck!

magicfairy things sound a bit pants for you with sore nips etc....I can relate to that, think I have thrush??? Had it with DD1 (allegedly, treated us both for weeks and it made no difference so I am a bit sceptical ). DD2 def has thick white coating on tongue and I have sharp pains on nips (ouch!!).

DD2 has been more unsettled lately. She is currently purple in the face screaming. Aren't I a bad mummy MNing while she screams??!! Thing is, nothing I do helps, so I have just had to put her down as it kills my back to keep lifting her up (and she's only little!!)

If DD2 has thrush in her mouth it can be quite painful for them so they dont take as much feed as they would like IYSWIM so maybe a contributing factor to her unsettled day. Your a vv good mummy BTW

Ahhhh, thanks Denny .

Morning all,

Got a very rare moment of both DDs being asleep for a few mins. DH at work again today, left the house at 6am . Also in a bit of s strop with me cos I 'lost it' a bit last night. DD2 had been screaming most of the day, and then on into the evening. I am finding it hard to make feeding decisions....she is 3 weeks this week so growth spurt week, although tbh, DD1 never seemed to feed more when it was alleged growth spurt time?? Anyway, DD2 had been screaming, and I am torn between feeding her (which shuts her up momentarily at least) BUT if hunger is not the cause of her cry, she feeds unenthusiastically for about 4 mins then not bothered....it's like she's just sucking my poor sore nips for comfort, hence I am getting very sore nips and very fed up with just getting my tits out every five mins 'just to try her with it'. GGrrrrrr!!! I keep trying to explain to DH that she feeds much better if she has the longer gaps between feeds, and therefore doesn't make me as sore.
We put her to bed last night after a feed at 8:30pm, she normally goes straight off (I know, lucky) but she just kept screaming, so I did my usual 'try her with a bit more' and she wasn't interested, so I took her down to DH who was watching the footie, as I wanted to go to bed without a screaming baby next to me. I then just got some random rage from somewhere and screamed at DH for leaving his shoes in the hall for me to trip over instead of putting them on the shoe rack??!! Completely unreasonable and mountain out of molehill, but I had just had enough by that point. I then grabbed the freebie paper out of the letterbox and threw it across the hall and stormed up to bed . .
He left for work this morning and just said 'see ya later'. (He always kisses me and says he loves me, even when I am half asleep ).

DDs have both been a bit whingy this morning. DD1 really needed to go for a nap as we are out all day , and she will be a nightmare otherwise. She wouldn't settle, so I had to keep getting her up then trying again. She is napping now at least.

I know this is awful but I feel almost bitter towards DH that he will not experience what I have to when he is at work, i.e. to cope with 2 of them all day long. He is such a wonderful and supportive DH, I really can't complain, but I just keep thinking that us women have to cope with all this at a time when we are really not at our best, i.e. we have recently given birth and our bodies are still not 100% (I certainly am suffering with aches and pains that make me miserable) and we have less sleep. It's bloody hard work.

Sorry to be so negative today. Thank the Lord that DH works shifts and is not a mon-fri worker.

Off to see a friend for lunch, and then.....(this is probably why I feel so fed up today too) we have to go to SIL's for another fckuing 'birthday tea' as my nephew is 10 today. Cue-MIL telling me that DD2 needs feeding all evening again . DD2 is really grouchy early/mid evenings. I'm dreading it. Hopefully DH will finish his course early again today and can come with me, otherwise I have to go on my own with the girls.

Oh dear, the glass really is half empty today for LM74 .

Sorry for being grumpy.

Soory you had such a day, hope today is better sending you lots of
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

hey lm74 - what you are feeling re bitterness is absolutely normal, and remember you have a 3 week old baby - it's a huge thing and dh gets the good bits not the coping at home all day with them. i remember on more than one occasion with ds1 dh asking me what i had done all day as nothing seemed to get done - so i itemised every minute for him for aobut a week, before telling him he'd not be able to cope if he was doing it. don't feel like a bad mummy - you are not at all! and remember babies do just cry! ds2 will cry if put down and it's not colic because it's all the blardy day! so i have to just leave him and he has a wail and screams the place down but in about 10 mins (which feels like 2 hours!) he's sorted himself out. i had a conversation with dh jsut now while ds2 was doing this and said this is what it's like all day unless ds2 is being held and i just can't, what with ds1 at home as well!

anyway, keep your chin up you're doing a brill job!

all ok here - the plumbers have gone, the electricians have gone and it's only the flooring guys here at the moment. then the carpenter comes back next week on thursday to build the cupboard around our boiler and then the decorators when we are away and then it's done!!!! can't wait to go on holiday believe me, although dh phoned me and said "I think i have to take clients to tennis on 14 june is that ok?" and when i delayed my response he got all sh*tty with me until it finally dawned that is the day we go away...

more later
xxx

LM74 - don't worry, I feel exactly like this with DP on occaision. This morning, he also went to work at about 6 (though he doesn't start being paid til 9!) because there are loads of people off, then tried to tell me that he had the hard bargain...

Good luck with the party. If I were you I would let DD2 cry for a while then leave, saying she can't be very well and you had better go home

Glad the end is in sight Flick, can you send your workmen to our house next? We moved in last Sept and there isn't one room that has been finished. Apparently it's the 80/20 rule, the last 20% of the work takes 80% of the time...

Hi all

Sorry haven't had time to catch up on posts yet but just to announce that 10 days late I had a baby boy on Sunday 18th. He weighed 8lb 9oz and we have called him Jamie.

Woke up having pains at 4am, wasn't sure if it was just painful braxton hicks but they carried on and got more painful so knew it was probably real thing. Went to hospital at 7am where the midwife was looking at me like I wasn't in established labour because I was pretty much acting normal. She was about to do a handover but I convinced her to examine me and was 5cm. Was kept on antenatal ward as delivery suite was full but then a room came free luckily so I then carried on with gas and air and had pethidine. My waters broke at 11.15 and he arrived at 11.50am so labour was total of 8 hours. He needed oxygen and bit of resuscitation initially as cord was tight round his neck and he swallowed a load of my blood etc on the way out but was fine after couple of mins.

The next day he was showing signs of jaundice and turns out he has an infection which they are not sure what it is but are treating it as possible meningitis so he's been in special care unit. I came home today but he's got to stay in for another 10 days of intravenous antibiotics til he can come home. he seems quite well in himself though and is feeding well which is good sign but is very hard not bringing him home.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, will catch up soon.

congrats indigoblue and I hope Jamie is doing well.

Thanks for all comments of support. I had a better day yesterday. Went to my mate's for lunch and she made me just sit down and chill. Our DD's played happily together while I cuddled DD2 on sofa, who just slept.
I then made an executive decision NOT to go to the party, so I told DH I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go, and he was fine about it, so he took DD1 and they were gone from 4pm-7pm, in which time, DD2 miraculously slept!!!On me, but at least I could catch up with some phonecalls and even managed a bit of a tidy up in the house. It was like therapy!! Felt soooo much better. And then, DD2 fed at 6pm, and then slept on the beanbag and we had to wake her at 10pm to feed her!!!!!! I am just praying that tonight will be the same as I have my first 2 nights of DH being on night shift so I am home alone!!

Still having few problems feeding. I feel like my left boob has no milk!!! Cos DD2 only feeds once at night, she fed on the right in the night (didn't want any from left even though offered). I think cos milk is 'made' at night, she then hadn't stimulated the left boob enough for it to produce some milk. This morning it just felt all soft, and having not fed on it for 12 hrs, it should have been massive and hard???

Going to a breast feeding advice drop in clinic at 1pm.

LM74 xxx

hi all,

YCBS- mixed feeding will limit your milk supply more, basically the more baby feeds the more milk you produce, it takes a few days to sort itself out into how much to make but bascially get baby to the boob as often as he wants and that should boost it up. You could also try tiger milk, which is 2 pints of full fat milk, 3 bananas and 3 brewers yeast tablets (crushed), mix up in blender, add some drinking choc to taste if you like, keep it in the fridge and drink throughout the day or night. It really helps to boost your milk supply.

LM74 - If you woke with a soft boob that is a good sign, they shopuldnt stay hard for long, once they know how much your baby needs, which feeding on demand tells them, they will become softer, but still be making milk. some babies have a favourite side, thats ok, it may just be a postioing thing. i hope the clinic helped.

Things are good here today, dont want to say too much thinking i'll jinx it! DS1 has had a really good couple of days, lots of fun and attention from me and DH, he has even helped with DS2 bath! DS2 is feeding much better and sleeps! although has just woken up!! mastitis gone, just have a sore nipp still, but thats my fault as im too lazy too get up at night to feed, and we dont have lying down feeding sussed yet! must get up tonight!

anyway must go ds2 is trying to suck through my clothes!!

oh yeah finally have a name....Reuben

Evening all,

YCBS I took DD1 out to Tesco (with DH) when she was 5 days old, and I have never felt so vulnerable in my life, I really thought someone was gonna reach in the pram and steal her, and she was so tiny too. I couldn't wait to get home. I also used to get v nervous out on my own with her in the pram (sounds awful but I can never forget that Abigail Witchells, think that was her name, who got stabbed in the neck in front of her toddler while out walking ). I have been much more relaxed with DD2. I guess you just get used to it. Not sure if that's even what you meant actually??!! Did you mean that or just the logistics of taking them out?
I am fairly au fait with feeding in public, esp after doing it with DD1. The bit I find hardest is when you have to latch them on, and therefore actual nipple is exposed!!! Once she's on, I'm fine, you can't see a thing, but I do get a bit at the initial and final bit, IYSWIM!!

magicfairy Thanks for the reassurance re soft boobage!! I am feeling much better now. I went to the breast feeding advice drop in clinic. When I went with DD1 2 yrs ago, we were the only ones there, so I was expecting the same, but it was RAMMED!!! About 15 or so mums and babies there. Hence, the advisors didn't have loads of time to spend with each of us, however, enough for me to voice my concerns, and to be told (nicely) that it sounded as though I was worrying over nothing, and when she asked me more questions about DD2's weight gain, time between feeds etc, then said it sounded as if I was doing brilliantly . It was just the reassurance I needed. Also, talking to a few other mums there, really made me realise I have nothing to worry about. I think my only problem is that I am a real perfectionist.....

pinacolada sorry to hear your first day without DH was so tough. Does he have a regular shift pattern?? How long til he is off again and can help you? I had a bit of a struggle earlier when DD1 wanted my attention (was tired and a bit whingy) and DD2 was screaming. I just felt for the first time that DD1 was feeling a bit 'pushed out' by DD2, and I felt awful. It's hard to amuse her when DD2 needs me too. How are you coping with your DD1???

Well girls, I had a dreadful evening last night. DH on first night shift. Thank the Lord my sis rang on the off chance to see if I wanted her to come over....YEEESSSSS!!! She was a star and put DD1 to bed, and tried to calm down a screaming DD2 while I ate my dinner. To cut a long story short, DD2 screamed (what DH & I now refer to as PFS...purple face screaming) most of the evening. I was OK, cos I reckoned that she would tire herself out and go to sleep easily at bed time. But alas, no! I took her up after last feed at 11pm, and she screamed (PFS!!!) til 1am. I felt so alone not having DH to share it with. I eventually fell into bed at 1am and balled my eyes out....then fell asleep, exhausted. Thankfully DD2 slept til 4:30am. I felt so low today. I know some poor people have to deal with a screaming baby all day long, but cos my DDs have been so good, it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Tonight seems to be going better...DH left for work at 4:30pm (finishes at 2am). I managed to eat dinner with DD2, while DD1 bit whingy but nothing major. Fed DD2, put DD1 to bed at 6pm (usual time for her.....I know...v lucky!!!!) and fingers crossed DD2 only took a few mins settling and is now asleep on her beanbag.

Fingers crossed.

Sorry for such a long post!!!

Hope you are all OK. We should have all of us on this thread soon???

LM74 xxx

P.S. Oh, and absolute hats off to any single mums out there, how on earth do they do it??? My second cousin had twins 3 months prem and is a single mum......(twins are 18 months now) I am in awe of her!!!

YCBS Just checked out the 'babies born' list on ante-natal thread. My DD1 was due 24th May and born 17th May (2006) so she shares her birthday with your DS!!! .

Hi all, and dare I say it, after 4 weeks of coughs and sneezes, still on antibiotics, with getting worse after starting taking them, I think I might be finally on the mend?!
Though Jasmine has now got a cold- she's always had a cough so I refuse to worry about it. But the snot she coughs up gets swallowed into her stomach, so she she spews every other feed- quite copiously. Though, touch wood, not the last 2 feeds! I can only hope that breastfeeding means she missed out on the last 4 bugs (I think I've thought I was getting better at least once a week for the last month!) so she's only got one bug out of 4 or 5....
I am dreading the 'will we get thrush?' moment of finishing the antibiotics.
(LM- DD2 also always has white tongue, don't think she's got thrush yet, so don't know what else it can indicate)

YCBS- feeding in public. I'm getting more comfortable with it- it is so hard with a newborn messing about. I sit myself with my back to 'the public' so if in a cafe I try to face the wall, etc- whilst still picking the comfiest seat. On Sunday at Eureka I couldn't find anywhere I felt comfortable to feed ( I refuse toilets or somewhere sat next to nappy bins, and the cafe was full of brownies and cubs) so ended up outside in their 'picnic marquee' with my back to the outside, and just hoping noone decided to have their picnic- and noone did. The best advice I got was to 'feed with confidence'- if you feel embarressed, stressed and uncomfortable, feeding will be more difficult than usual, and you will be more conspicious. I felt more self confident without a sheet thing, but I do have a sling draped across me (my ring sling is fetchingly matched to my outfits!!).

Magicfairy- really hope you're getting good BF advice. I read somewhere,will try to find the link- that true mastitis cannot spread when you are on antibiotics, and the symptoms are caused by the boob not being emptied fully due to feeding problems. Grrr can't find the page now but is was somewhere on iwantmymum.com (not a paid up member, somewhere in the free pages.) It was really interesting article about support of some midwives at a hospital (sounded like london?), think it was written from new parents perspectiveand how everyone else inclding GP gave bad advice.
LM74- you have a new baby, and a toddler! You are sleep deprived. Reasonable is a word with a whole new meaning- you've been coping brilliantly but at some point everything has to crack- you've done really well to last this long! If you are worried about supply on one side (did you have problems with that last time?) keep putting you LO on that side first- demand will stimulate supply. If she's not getting enough, she'll demand the other side. But I'd speak to breastfeeding expert people- they'd give you better advice!

I'm with you on the evening crying- ours isn't predictable enough to label colic, and as its not all the time it can't be reflux, but DD2 only happy if being held and only lasts about 10 minutes reliably sleeping when put down. She will sleep longer, but never when you really need it!!
I read somewhere (god, I'm useless at attrubuting all these things I read)that the crying gets worse for the first 6 weeks, then stabalises. Excluding colic, I presume!

Hugs and waves to everyone, congratulations for new arrivals, extra hugs for mum with LO in SCBU- hope they're ok soon.Sorry, even with quiet list can't keep up.

YCBS- just read advice on other website for feeding confidence- go to baby cafe!

Quote fromiwantmymum.com forum(still trying to find bit for magicfairy about 'not' mastitis')
'I found the best way to do it the first time was at a baby cafe. Sounds obvious to go to meeting where there are other mothers breastfeeding, but I did it quite by accident and doing it there I felt really safe and was able to build my confidence before doing it in proper public'