June 2007 - What ingredients are mothers made of ? God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean!

[NattyThomasandEllen]

ah sparkly new thread.. i spotted this on my friends face book and had to share it:

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers are given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did t and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

just thought it was funny!

And have a great night Fury. You deserve some fun (even if you had to work like a dog to get ready for it). And glad DS is on the mend too.

Oooh, jammy, that doesn't sound good. There was a baby, well a 1yo, round here who inhaled a bit of sausage and it collapsed her lung. The parents didn't realise at first as after her coughing fit she was still trying to eat, but her eyes were all bloodshot and breathing laboured and her lung had collapsed. V scary!

Evening all.

Had a great night out last night - much tequila consumed, lots of dancing done. A few blank spaces in the evening but I got home and DP was still up (about 3.30) and we stayed up till 4.30 when I eventually passed out on the sofa. Woke up at 7.30 and went to the races all day. I feel fine and a bit better because I've been 'me' before children for a night. (Binge drinking, dancing and talking to strangers!) Outfit worked well and I felt good.

I 'pumped and dumped' my milk this morning and not fed LO much at all until just now when she's had a full feed both sides. Do you think thats OK given the neat alcohol I drank last night? 2 frozen margaritas, a vodka and soda, and then tequila shots (about 6).

I'd say that should be fine Foxy. Sounds like you had the best part of 24 hours from (starting to) drink until feeding? Should be ample time to process what you drank. Glad you had such a good night.

Bumper, what days do you work now? If our days "off" co-incide, do you fancy meeting up someday soon? And anyone else that's within reach, of course!

Thanks Jammy. I've been wondering about it all day. How are you?

OK now I've unblocked my lungs. Throat is sore from coughing for 20 hours though. And we're all tired after a big day out.

Where did you go to the races? (Are we talking horses by the way?) Did you win anything?

Sandown, no we had a shocker! one winner. Now Chinese takeaway and a movie with DP.

Coughing sounds bad! Hope you are OK. Bit scary after what Bumper said.

Fury, so, so pleased DS is on the mend at last. Hope you are having a great night - you need some fun!

Chinese and film sound good. DH is now making some eggy bread for our tea And then we've got Doctor Who to watch.

evenin all

poor you jammy, i did that with a baked bean b4!
did i mention my bollocking from doc yesterday? i ran out of AD and couldnt get a appointment for 2 weeks (having missed one the week b4) so i just stopped taking them when i ran out. anyway upshot of it is 2 weeks without any and the week b4 that threw the majority of them up as had a tummy bug. needless to say ive not been myself, and doc bollocked me for mot just phoning in a repeat request! and THEN she looked up the bloods i had done the other week and turns out i am very anemic as well!

so she told me off for not eating enough green veg and told me to eat bran flakes and died apricots and loads of steak!

is anyone else on a tight budget? try explaining that to my doctor!! she seems to think we can afford steak 2-3 times a week! am i being unreasonable to say thats just not possible?

Sorry to hear that Natty. last thing you need is hassle from your doc. And thankfully we're not on a particularly tight budget, but not everyone is that lucky, and I think your doc may be a bit presumptious to think that it wouldn't be a problem.

right im not about tonight im afraid.
DH has uni work to do i need a little pink laptop of my own or sumthing

night all! xx

evening all

It's been quiet here today hasn't it?
bloody hell on the pea jammy! I hope you're feeling better, but get yourself to the docs for a check up if you don't feel better by monday.

Natty, did your GP prescribe any iron tablets for you? If not, you can buy Spatone at the chemist, or it might be available on the minor ailments scheme?

Took DD back to the hospital today; still no results so she had to have another dose of ABs...cue more screaming while I held her. The nurse had to take the cannula out as well as her wee vein had started collapsing. So, we have to phone tomorrow for the results, and if anything there will have to go back to get another cannula and more ABs. Fingers crossed it'll be all clear as I'm sick of the sight of the place. She remembered as well and started crying as soon as she got into the treatment room.......she was also trying to kick and bite the nurse . We've just had a very quiet afternoon. DH was at work and DS was at his mates. After DD went down for a nap (and slept for three hours) I watched atonement and did my knitting. I've pissed DH off by not tidying the kitchen, but so bloody what. He is still royally pissing me off.

Fury, I'm glad DS is getting better. Is it worth taking him to the docs, as whatever tummy bug DD had has been blasted out of her system by the ABs, and although she is very very smelly, her poos are solid now. He might need something to help clear it, especially as it's been going on for so long.

Glad your night out was a big success foxy. I'm looking forward to some point in the distant future when I can have a proper grown up night out

Izzy, forgot to say Hi yesterday...so....Hi Izzy

phew long post.

Fingers crossed for the test results tomorrow Daisy. And poor little DD, screaming at having to go back to hospital today

only the treatment room jammy...she was perfectly happy in the little playroom as they had nice toys

bless her though, as we wandered along the corridors, when we came to a cross roads, I was aking her which way, and she pointed in the right direction every time.......probably a coincidence, but I like to think she is a genius!

She has been a right little minx today....if you tell her No for anything she shouldn't be doing (like biting the cat, climbing on the fire, trying to bite when I fish something out of her mouth), she just laughs and carries on, and shouts "bad" at the top of her voice!

Hellooo!

Wow Daisy, your DD sounds so advanced I think she might be a genius! Hope you go on ok with the test results. Poor little thing having to be in the hospital, but glad she liked the toys though .

Trace, really sorry about the lump. I would definately go to a different doctor. I really hope it comes to nothing. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

Jammy, that sounds quite scary getting that pea stuck. Thank god it actually came up though.

Foxy, glad you had a good night! It sounded fun!

We've been shopping today. We took DD in to Clarks and got her her first pair of shoes! They look so cute, and surprisingly, it wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be! We also got her a teddy bear from the build a bear factory, which is for her birthday. We decorated it with a birthday cake and a party hat and we wil give it to her on the day. Not that she'll be interested, lol, she'll probably prefer the box!

DP got some aftershave and a cd and I got bugger all, so I am in a sulk

DD clapped for the first time the other day!

Morning all.

I've been to bed at 9.30 the past 2 nights as for some reason I am so knackered. But DD is still asleep and DH is off today so should be nice and relaxing.

Foxy sounds like you had a fab night. Did you have nice quality time with DP at the races? FWIW I don't think you need to pump and dump. Your BM metabolises alcohol at the same rate as blood, one unit an hour or something like that, so you should be fine to feed by the morning.

Izzy that's great about the clapping, the bear sounds fab as well.

Jammy I work Monday-Weds.

Fury hope you enjoyed your BBQ.

Morning all.

I got up early (5.45) with the jamlet, but I did get to go back to bed later (after she'd been fed, and had had the poopy nappy changed ) so I'm feeling quite chipper now. She is happy "reading" part of the Sunday paper, so i can chill out for a bit.

Am dressed in old clothes for gardening/housework type grotty jobs, but just popped to corner shop for milk. On the way back i realised I am wearing the really old trousers with a hole in the back! Ah well.

Daisy, am impressed with how clever your DD is (And slightly at times)

Bumper - glad you've got a bit of sleep, even if it did mean going to bed right early to get it. I'm not in work on Thurs/Fri either, so fancy a trip out somewhere? It it's got a train station we can get there!

UUrrrrrgggggggggg

Got a bit pissed
DH spent an hour puking in the bath
I have a hangover

All went well...and DS seems almost 100%!!!

His chest is still rattly but his poos and eating are almost normal!

Aaahhhhhhhh

Foxy... you ... FOX you!! Getting pissed like that, good girl!

Glad you had a good night Fury. Sorry about the hangover. Hope dS gives you an easy day

good morning all.

i am shattered. was up till 2.30 with DH trying to get his uni work up to scratch, then was kept awake by an angry wasp that couldnt get out the window, then DC woke up at 5.30
THEN once they had breakfast i put them in thier room (ellen in her cot) and put a DVD on for them. thomas decided he didnt like the DVD and tried to change it once i had left the room and was in the toilet. however dvd player is on top of a very tall set of shelves that he proceeded to climb.
they fell on him...
omg bad mother award
he is fine, they were empty bar the telly and dvd player which managed to miss him, but my heart!

so go on

tell me im a terrible mother

Can't do that Natty. I don't believe you're a terrible mother. Just one who desired to go to the toilet - quite reasonable in my opinion. And something unfortunate happened, but thankfully no major harm was done. And it doesn't make you a terrible mother, you hear!

thanks jammy..

still feel awful tho..

just glad ellen was in her cot not under the shelves! imagine!!

needless to say i threw them straight out.. tom trapeziumed them and they wont stand up now lol

Crikey Natty, if you're a bad mother, there's no hope for the rest of us! Hope you are OK, tea with 3 sugars for you, and a {{{hug}}}}.

natty, that sounds scary. You can get a little strap thing in IKEA that you screw to the wall and the shelves to stop tall/heavy furniture from falling.

and you're not a bad mother, you can't be watching them all the time.

Can I ask how the two of them sharing a room works out? We need to reshuffle bedrooms after the baby is born and the baby will be sharing with DD. I'm worried about the baby waking DD up, but I guess children are pretty good sleepers. DS thinks DD will share with him, but I suspect the thought of that is better than the reality will to him.

The hospital have phoned; DDs blood cultures came back clear ...so it looks like it was the vomiting/fluid loss/shock scenario.