July 2023 babies

[Summermeadowflowers]

Hello everyone! So this is a continuation of the pregnancy thread(s) as we’re almost full.

DD was born by elective section on July 18th. Her older brother was born following an emergency section after a failed induction in December 2020 and I didn’t want to go through that again! It was a lovely chilled experience and I was a bit nervous waiting but felt like I was in good hands. I was also home the next day.

Feeding has been tricky for us. I really wanted to breastfeed but as with DS, DD hasn’t taken easily to it and struggles to latch. Nipple shields help to an extent although are not a cure all but she doesn’t get much milk and ends up frustrated anyway. I’ve mostly been expressing for her but realistically don’t know how long I can keep it up. It’s a shame as I do really want to breastfeed but it isn’t happening!

Oh and my wound is infected … lovely!

How is everyone else?

On Wednesday I have DS1 (2yrs) and DS2 (5 weeks, 6 weeks on Thursday) together, alone, for the first time. I’ll be honest, I am dreading it a bit. Today DS2 was very much either on me or crying, and I really don’t know what to do with a boisterous (and jealous) toddler if that happens on Wednesday. Plus most of the playgroups around us have stopped for summer and we still don’t have a car after or went kapput a week ago…

wish me luck!!!

I’m sorry for your loss @Loveteathebest 💐

So frustrated. Me and my partner take it in turns doing the nights, usually two on two off unless he has work then I do slightly more. But he's off this week and next. Whenever it's his nights I cannot sleep for some reason. Last night I think I had about three hours. Whereas when it's my night to do the feeds all I want to do is sleep and I'm almost falling asleep feeding her 🙈 So instead of catching up on sleep when it's his turn I'm just permanently knackered 😫

@RandomCatGenerator I’ve had a couple of days like that. I won’t lie, it is stressful as after a very snoozy start to life DD is suddenly resisting daytime naps and will snatch ten minutes here and there but mostly is awake and wanting to be held but then that leaves me struggling with DS as well.

It has been fine mostly. Although today I’ve returned from a four hour park visit where eventually I had to physically drag DS away, it was horrible but DD was screaming in desperation, my boobs were exploding, DS had pood but was refusing to let me change his nappy … it was horrible, but not all moments are like that. The worst for me is trying to bath DS and get him into bed and wrangle DD at the same time.

I’m struggling so so much with the two of them. We are all poorly which doesn’t help. DC2 just wanting to be held and to sleep on my chest, but screaming murder in the sling. DC1 has always been quite high needs and demanding and this has gone up 10 fold. Gets so upset when i can’t come immediately. Arghhh hope you have more luck tomorrow @RandomCatGenerator

I agree @Summermeadowflowers . Bedtime when DH isn’t around is catastrophic 😂

Thank you for the kind words, I hope that the funeral next week will bring some kind of closure and help us to start to heal.

So, today with the toddler and newborn alone hasn’t gone too badly but now is the time I thought would be the worst.
DS is about to wake up and will need to burn off some energy before dinner, bath, bed can begin but how do I do that with DD and no one to hold either of them ????
DH wished me luck this morning as he left and I told him to have faith in me but now I’m scared to wake DS up lol! It’s a catch 22 because if I don’t wake him up he won’t go to bed later !
I am enjoying the advice on 🍷 though, I had resigned myself to another year without it but after reading your posts I’m buying a very nice bottle for the weekend to see if I can have a small glass and not fall over after 2.5 years sober😂 I just have to survive today

I’m struggling as well @VivaVivaa . I completely lost my temper with DS before and screamed at him. I feel awful but I just lost it

@RandomCatGenerator @VivaVivaa I was barely 12 months old when my brother was born. I don't know how my parents coped. My mum says the early years were chaotic. Must be tough with a toddler and newborn.

Toddler and baby is tough. Mine are now 19 months and 6 weeks. DS2 is very needy as he has terrible reflux and can’t seem to lie down comfortably at all so I’ve been on the sofa with him snuggling and DS1 is co-sleeping with DH as he just won’t leave our sides. Little man is doing so well though and trying to help with getting me nappies, soothing the baby by rubbing his head etc. It’s very cute, tough but worth every minute 🥰

I have an 8 year old and baby and let me tell you, it isn't any easier 😂

DD has screamed relentlessly all day and it’s hard not to feel a bit frustrated. I’ve been horrible to DS and feel awful and I am on the verge of divorce, so good day here

Sorry @Summermeadowflowers thar sounds so tough. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you ❤️💐

Oh what a night 💤💤😭😭

We also saw every 1-2 hours of the night last night, having dared to believe that the 5-6 hours we’d been having at the beginning were here to stay 🙃 veeeerrryyy grumpy baby (I’d forgotten how awful 6 weeks olds are) and 3yo at home today. I’ve had a lot of coffee already!

@Summermeadowflowers hope you have a better day. If it’s any consolation I’ve been horrible shouty mum to DC1 over the last few weeks. It’s inevitable really. It will get easier. How’s things going with feeding? x

Every hour in the night as DS was crying and grunting and trying to poo/ trump and the gaviscon is making it even harder for him to do that.
He is also ridiculously congested every night now too!

Thanks @VivaVivaa . I think I just have to write yesterday off. We met a friend and her toddler in the park for a picnic. I forgot to pack DDS sling and I don’t think it would have made a huge amount of difference but would have helped. She needed feeding when we got there and while we were in the park, in a completely enclosed playground, DS escaped - he opened one of those heavy iron gates and got out. It was lucky I saw him. I sort of yelped at him in just panic and got DD fussing and crying, then he refused to come back in

Had the picnic, DS wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sit down, just kept walking around and treading food into friends picnic blanket, DD crying. Back to park and DD finally fell asleep in her pram, I spend a bit of time playing with DS and it’s nice. DD wakes about twenty minutes later and while I’m feeding her DS gets out again and climbs on some exercise equipment and had a nasty fall. I had to run across the park carrying DD, who threw up into my hair. Comforted DS and noticed he smelled of poo but he refused to stand still so I could change him. He then started climbing a wall - it was one of those ‘caged’ ones for ball games and there was a concrete path. He’s a brilliant climber but if he’d fallen he’d have really hurt himself. We’d been at the park four hours at this point and DD was screaming. I couldn’t get him away so ended up having to pick him up and then dragged him across concrete and ended up so frustrated and overwhelmed with him screaming and smelling of poo I shouted that fine, I’d leave him there. I mean, what a horrible thing to say. Kept apologising but I felt awful.

Then when we got home things didn’t improve. DD still fussing and head butting and thrashing. Then DS saw a parcel that had arrived and shouted MINE, MINE. It was DDS swimming costume and he stripped off and insisted on putting it on then had a tantrum because it didn’t fit. I ended up screaming at him again. I’m honestly not normally like that but I feel like a pressure cooker. Between DH being HERE, in my face constantly, DD not settling (although she is asleep now thank god!) DS’ totally normal toddler behaviour seems to really trigger me.

Sorry for that rant! I’m normally quite cheery honestly but yesterday broke my mind, body and spirit!

Yes to the delirium and the 2 hour sleep pattern for the last.... I don’t even know how long. I’ve forgotten what day it is and maybe what my name is.

also solidarity for the screaming toddler and losing my mind. Please don’t feel bad @Summermeadowflowers i tried to go for a walk with my toddler with my newborn in the pushchair yesterday and it all ended in tears for everyone involved. I actually told him ‘fine! Goodbye you can stay here sitting on the pavement but mummy is going home!’ Then felt terrible and put the toddler in the bassinet part of the pushchair (which he loved 🙄) and had to carry the baby home while trying to control the pushchair with one hand and not let the toddler stand up in the bassinet at the same time. Needless to say I cried when DH finally got home at 8.30 pm

I think we should all get a holiday after the first 6 months of having a baby. We should do the hard bit at the beginning and then leave all children with their fathers and have a long weekend in a spa. With all the sleep, all the massages and all the wine. In fact I might have to tell DH he has 5 months left before I go 😂

@Loveteathebest you have no idea how much better that story has made me feel today even though it was probably torture yesterday 😂i just bellowed at DS1 that I would put the buggy board in the bin if he carried on trying to put his foot on the moving wheel. Clearly empty threat as without the buggy board we would be house bound and I’m certain DS1 knows it 😂

Lol well that is why we have this wonderful world of mums net @VivaVivaa :) to help each other in times of extreme stress know we are not alone !
the thing that makes me laugh (in hindsight) is when I feel like I am losing my mind and my beautiful little toddler is driving me crackers, he just looks at me and laughs ! I am on the verge of tears and about to boil over and he things it is hilarious ! I take small comfort that he isn’t upset by me threatening to leave him behind or when I tell him off but am slightly frustrated as well 😂
interestingly I thought that the correct New Years resolution for this year should be to practice patience ! It should have been to drink more wine 😝

Mine also laughs if I’m visibly annoyed @Loveteathebest and like @VivaVivaa you’ve both made me feel a lot better! It’s hard with DS as whenever you do anything nice with him (which is fairly often!) there’s often a meltdown when you need to take him away. I know it’s toddlers but when it’s not just we need to leave but your sister is screaming it’s horrible!

DD has slept most of the day, I think yesterday was too much for her (and me.) I do try to keep an eye on wake windows but if they just won’t sleep what can you do!?

wrong thread

@Loveteathebest lets do it!

@Summermeadowflowers I’m sorry, that must have been so upsetting and frustrating. Can DS go into nursery for a few days a week to give you some rest?

I have a confession: I chickened out of today and booked DS1 into nursery today. He normally goes 4 days a week, so today he went 5. I feel weak for not having felt able to handle them both today but Elijah has been so clingy and fretful and…well, @Summermeadowflowers your day would have been mine. Got to just face up to not quite bring ready yet and, bluntly, throw a day of childcare’s worth of money at it.

I find DS1’s sadness so hard to take, even if it’s only momentary sadness during a tantrum or because of a fall. My mum was emotionally abusive and the idea that he might feel sad or unloved shreds my heart. Hard to keep perspective - that he’s usually only sad for a few minutes before he totally forgets!

Oh @Summermeadowflowers , that sounds like quite the day!
I have a vision of your son squeezed into his sister’s swimming costume - I hope you are saving up these stories to tell at his 18th birthday party!

I can smile at it now! It’s hard when DH is around (he wfh three days a week) as I feel obliged to take the children out. I know I don’t have to but otherwise we all end up under one another’s feet. DH seems to be constantly on calls and all we can hear are endless one sided conversations about work stuff, DS wanting to play and not understanding daddy is at work, we can’t just ‘be.’ It’s so much easier when he’s in the office!

DS does three days a week at nursery but I have both of them Tuesdays and Thursdays - wish me luck for today/tomorrow!