July 2023 babies

[Summermeadowflowers]

Hello everyone! So this is a continuation of the pregnancy thread(s) as we’re almost full.

DD was born by elective section on July 18th. Her older brother was born following an emergency section after a failed induction in December 2020 and I didn’t want to go through that again! It was a lovely chilled experience and I was a bit nervous waiting but felt like I was in good hands. I was also home the next day.

Feeding has been tricky for us. I really wanted to breastfeed but as with DS, DD hasn’t taken easily to it and struggles to latch. Nipple shields help to an extent although are not a cure all but she doesn’t get much milk and ends up frustrated anyway. I’ve mostly been expressing for her but realistically don’t know how long I can keep it up. It’s a shame as I do really want to breastfeed but it isn’t happening!

Oh and my wound is infected … lovely!

How is everyone else?

@AnxiousAnnie94 Only just come on here and seen your posts. I've got a clingy baba too and I also hate hearing her cry. Partner won't pick her up straight away, whereas I will. I was trying to toast and butter crumpets with one hand the other day because I was holding her. Anything I do I have to do with one hand which is bloody awkward! I usually end up sitting on the sofa all day and barking housework tasks at my partner once he's home from work 🤣 Or I pass Tilly to him and do them myself.

Try not to worry about the housework too much though. I was and then the health visitor said the housework will wait even if I don't get around to it for a week. Baby is only little once and they need your love and cuddles and reassurance. Making them feel safe and loved and making the most of them being little is what's important. It is hard seeing the house a tip though I totally understand. I can't get on top of anything.

When you said you think he's getting bored of the house (I'm sure he's not ❤️) but have you got him some toys? Does he like tummy time? We have a play mat and tummy time roll for Tilly then all sorts of black & white books, crinkle toys, rattles etc etc. Gives them some stimulation and it breaks the day up a bit even for me 🤣

@AnxiousAnnie94 Sorry I've literally just seen another post where you said you do tummy time etc 🙈

@VivaVivaa We start Baby Sensory on Friday. Really looking forward to it as I used to go with my eldest. We've also been going to another local class which is pretty much sensory based too. Nice small group though so it's a bit calmer than I remember baby sensory to be.

Does anyone know how to get baby poo out of the carpet…. 😅It’s always at night!

@rach971 oh that's makes me feel so much better. I often butter toast one handed! Everything is done with one hand. There was a stage a few weeks ago when I could put him down asleep in the day time and he'd stay asleep, however this week, I can't put him down once he's fallen asleep as he wakes up straight away! I am hoping it's just a faze.
I have also scared myself- about flat heads.
DS is always being cuddled by me, sometimes on his tummy on my chest, but most of the time back of his head against the top of my arm, or he will sit in his swingy chair for a while (head flat against the back) and obviously head flat in the moses basket... I'm now scared his head is always going to he flat. I was looking at pictures last night after scaring himself and he doesn't have a 'normal' shape head and it perhaps does look a bit flat at the back and now I don't know if at 9 weeks it should be normal. He's getting better at holding his head up a bit now, but not for long periods and he definitely isn't strong enough to hold it up properly yet.

I do have different toys for him and they do provide him with enjoyment for short periods of time. We have the black and white books/ cards, ribbon toys, rattles to shake and he has just started hitting the hanging down toys on his play mat and smiling, but these things are only enjoyed in short periods and then I think he gets over stimulated and starts to cry.
Tummy time is only tolerated for very short periods, but I do it daily anyway, even though I know it will end in tears.

@VivaVivaa we start baby sensory next week and I am dreading it. I just know he's going to cry throughout - I don't really know why I booked it, maybe living in hope that the stimulation may stop him crying for a bit.

@gg9320 scourer sponge and washing up liquid. Squirt the washing up liquid directly on the poo stain on the carpet, dry sponge and scrub it in, then wet the sponge and scrub, scrub, scrub- has worked for me every time.

@AnxiousAnnie94 thanks so much!! ☺️ I also so relate to dreading baby sensory, our first is in 2 weeks and I’m kicking myself for not holding off - DD is only happy awake for short periods then quickly gets grizzly and then screaming often follows! I just know I’ll have the screamiest baby and I also have not got the hang of breastfeeding in public and when I’m uncomfortable DD always has a bad feed, I think she can sense my discomfort. I also leaks lots during feeding despite breast pads so that’s embarrassing too! Btw your picture above is so lovely, your son is such a cutie.

@gg9320 aw thank you. He's very cute but so screamy!!

I could have just written your post. I am EXACTLY the same about breastfeeding in public, haven't done it yet and really don't want to. I'm hoping to feed in the car before going in and hope he will be okay until we get back to the car so I can feed again!

@AnxiousAnnie94 I had a flat head as a young baby because I preferred to look in one direction than the other. My mum had to keep turning my head. I'm happy to say that I no longer have a flat head haha. My head is normal. My dd is also 9 weeks and doesn't like tummy time.

@PinkPink1 oh lovely, thank you!
Hopefully as he starts to be able to hold his head up fully himself and sit up by himself, if he does have a bit of a flat head, it will correct itself!

Does anyone else’s baby hate the car? Mine hates it so much he screams until he is coughing and choking on his own spit. It’s awful.

@Hippomumma DS used to love it, now it's very hit and miss but if we stop in traffic or at a red light, that's it. Screaming, choking, coughing- it's awful and the anxiety I get if I know we have to stop is the worst.

@AnxiousAnnie94 DS1 has always been wonderful in the car so wasn’t expecting this to be so bad! I hear you on the anxiety. It’s horrible just not being able to do anything about it!

@Hippomumma it makes me so scared that I've put him in the seat wrong and he's in pain. It's horrible and puts me off going out.
We have a funeral to go to next week which is almost 3 hours away, so we are doing 1.5 hour and then having a break at the service station to get DS out so he's not in his seat for too long, but I am already dreading the journey. I am hoping he might tire himself and sleep, but if there's any traffic hold ups, he will wake and scream.

@Hippomumma @AnxiousAnnie94 also have a screamer if stopped but almost always sleeps once moving and often we can then transfer onto pram and she stays asleep! It’s very hit and miss and I agree it’s awful not knowing if they are in pain from the seat/harness or it’s just general baby crying. I’m too scared to drive anywhere on my own with her yet!

@gg9320 @AnxiousAnnie94 I’m hoping that once the reflux gets better, it will get better in the car too but we drove around an hour today commuting into the city and by the time we got there, DS2 was dripping with sweat and hysterical. It was so horrid 😞

Those struggling with car journeys - do you use a dummy / pacifier? Honestly, that made a big difference for us. It’s also helped with sleep. It worked wonders in keeping DS1 happy in the car too.

I know dummies are a controversial subject but I honestly can’t recommend them enough! We haven’t tried to wean DS1 off yet and he does love his dummy, but they’re magic for soothing an upset baby and helping them sleep (in my experience - I know some babies don’t take dummies at all).

Agree with @AngryBirdsNoMore . Unfortunately DC2 has started rejecting his dummy in favour of shouting…but it was absolutely brilliant in the car when he would have it. I’m hoping when he’s fully better from his cold he might go back to it. He too is fine on A roads and motorways. But gets very upset in stop start traffic. Which is 90% of our journeys seeing as we live in a city.

Morning @habiller , DD seems more settled this past week (famous last words!) My DS was sick last night so off nursery today - and DH is away tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. Arrghhhh!

The good is that car journeys are improving, DD sometimes cries a bit to start with but does settle. I hope this continues. She still doesn’t seem keen on the pram though. I suspect she doesn’t like being flat on her back which I can kind of understand - not sure I’d like it either! I can’t remember when I sat ds up a bit but probably quite early as he was so refluxy - does anyone know what the recommended age is? DD is two months in a week (and can officially have Calpol - not that I will unless she needs it but nice to know!)

I am finding the evenings a challenge. Ds is silly and nearly always ends up being hurt and crying through silliness and I feel bad for him but it’s also so hard not to feel frustrated as if you go hurtling through the house at 100 miles an hour … He is also deliberately tormenting DD, screaming near her and poking and slapping if he can. He also won’t let her have anything: baby toys and the bouncer seat have to be hidden from him when he’s around. I love him dearly but he is a challenge just now. I’m sure he’ll come through it - I hope!

Hi @Summermeadowflowers and everyone else!

DS1 absolutely despised the pram. We started short trips with the seat attachment fully reclined (bugaboo fox) at about 3.5 months. He was sat up in it with no issue by about 5 months. I think officially it’s 6 months which always seems crazy late.

I absolutely hate evenings as well. DS1 is also silly and emotional and winds both himself and the baby up. DS2 still is prone to witching hour 5-8pm. Thankfully not screaming but generally unsettled and resistant to naps and frustrated on the boob. DH and I tag team. DH takes baby out for a nap in the pram and then gives him his one bottle of formula of the day. I tend to do DS1’s bath and bedtime. I literally don’t know how I’d cope on my own. DS2 will not humour the sling inside still. I suppose I’d just have to leave him crying!

I hope DS2 settles again in the car seat soon. Thought id hit the jackpot at first but he’s been quite screamy in it the last few weeks. So annoying trying to plan every journey to take in a motorway!

Also got our 8 week jabs tomorrow. When DS2 was born I remember thinking first bit to survive is until the 8 week jabs so at least that’s something 😂

@Summermeadowflowers i feel you. Your DS1 and my DS1 are around the same age I think (2yr 2m here) and DS1 loves ‘rough play’. So when he’s overtired he’ll canter around, throwing himself all over the place and all over me and DH, and then inevitably because he’s overtired he’ll slip and hurt himself and then there is deep deep sadness. It’s all a bit much of an evening. Plus DS2 wants to feed at 6pm - prime toddler bedtime.

I also totally get it on the taking the baby’s things like bouncy chair and toys. DS1 sat in the bouncy chair every time he saw it for the first few weeks and screamed if he couldn’t. Lay down in the baby’s crib, wanted to be in the bassinet bit of the pram, wanted to sit in the baby bath… It was exceedingly tedious.

The advice we got about improving sibling relations was to involve the older sibling in looking after the younger sibling. Eg asking him if he wants to come and help to change his brother’s nappy, asking him to hold the new nappy or the wet wipes or whatever until you need them; you may end up with a number of clean nappies being discarded or whatever, but it involves DS1 and gives him a role in looking after the baby, rather than the baby being something that just takes mum’s attention away from him.

A joint bath went quite well this week. We put them in the bath together with DS2 in an angelcare bath, and then showed DS1 how to pour water GENTLY over DS2’s body. He was super pleased to have a role, if a bit too enthusiastic - but that was fine as long as I was there to stop DS2 get a face full of water. It was actually rather lovely. Hit and miss - we tried again yesterday and overtired DS1 wanted to ‘play the baby’ and get into the angelcare when DS2 was already in it - but it’s an idea.

Weve also stressed the brother thing. When DS1 behaves well towards the baby, he’s praised for being such a good big brother, and we refer to ‘your brother needs x / your brother is doing y’. Again, gives DS1 a role and way of feeling involved and important, and framing him and the baby in relation to each other.

The first few weeks were super rough and I felt like I’d ruined DS1’s life. But it has sort of clicked now and DS1 treats DS2 much like the cat - stroking him and wanting him to be happy. I hope it improves for you, it was really difficult and I really feel for you.

Your forest festival sounds lovely @habiller! And thanks for reviving the thread again.