Small baby- comments very upsetting

[purplegal]

My baby was born @ 37 weeks at a small 5 lb 6oz. He lost quite a bit of weight at the start and was slow to gain- he is now just 8lb. complete strangers constantly comment on his size and how tiny he is. I know it shouldn't bother me as he is completely gorgeous, happy and content, but it is so upsetting. When asked how old he is I sometimes knock a few weeks off in the hope of avoiding these comments but thats just awful. It's getting to the point where I don't want to go out with him. I feel like a bad mum who's not feeding him properly :( (although he really does puts it away!)
I know the majority of these people mean no malice but any words of wisdom for politely shutting them down?

"Good things come in small packages"

I have a little little one and I am also little... and I like it! But can totally understand where you are coming from X

Please don't take it to heart.

I had a small baby too, I'm tiny though. Kotex of people commented at first but all people very quickly forget how small babies are, even their own.

My little boy was exactly the same. He is now 5 foot 11. He eats whatever he wants and plenty of it but doesn't put on weight. Your child is lovely as they are. Take no notice of those idiots.

Agh I said this to someone today and they were quick to tell me that their little boy was a preemie, I didn't even think that it may offend. For me, the baby was the same age and much smaller than my DD and I suddenly felt like mine was giant and people would think I'd been overfeeding. Sorry

Aww bless him, and you. Your comments have made me think as I would probably comment on a tiny baby, not because I’d think you are a bad mum but because my babies were these humungous off the chart sized things! They were adorable too but I was quite fascinated with wee dainty babies and felt I got a bit cheated out of that tiny stage. Also mine broke my back and I always thought it must be lovely to be able to lift them without suffering for so long. But anyway this isn’t about me! How you feel makes sense but I think there may be others like me who just wouldn’t think how you might take this - I will do now.

My 34w prem DS was 3lb 13 born. I was told he would always be tiny and probably behind his peers in development. I'm only 5ft but his dad is 6ft 2. He is average height now in his class at 7 years old and also no problems in school, he is in the right range learning wise.
Don't let these comments affect your time enjoying your baby xx

My baby was huge and people commented on it. People just say things! I think you're very fragile right now. It sounds like it's been hard so just take care of yourself and know he's perfect and you're a great mum xx

I am 56 and under 4ft 11 and the kids I teach comment on it every single day. I just shrug these days. Tell them they don't make diamonds as big as bricks.

My babies were all small - DC3 celebrated turning 12 weeks by finally needing newborn clothing. They all caught up and are now tall for their ages.

I had this with my second. She was 6lbs at birth but absolutely tiny, and like your little one, then dropped weight and never went back up the centiles. I cried quite a few times over comments about her size.

She now eats like a horse, can polish off 2 or 3 baked potatoes in one sitting and is still the smallest in her class, but has the stamina and health of an ox. Small doesn’t equate to not getting enough food or milk, sometimes children just err on the side of dinky xxx

I had the exact same feelings over my two to the point where I became really anxious going to baby classes and weigh in clinics (although they were following their own curve perfectly!)

On reflection though I just wished I recognised peoples comments for what they were - merely just the first opinion / thought that happened to pop into their head at the time!

If your baby was very tall, had lots of hair or big blue eyes that’s the thing they would mention. I took their comments as a direct criticism of my mothering - but it wasn’t! It was just strangers trying to strike up conversation!

Just learn to perfect the nod, smile and walk away if you want to.

For what it’s worth my two had crazily strong abs and limbs and developed good gross motor skills from a very young age. I think it was because they didn’t have any excess fat weighing them down that they learnt to move about quicker. In my experience, friends who have children that sit on the 90th centile etc. take that bit longer to crawl and walk I’ve noticed.

They're not being nasty - they're stating a fact. He is small. They're not saying anything against you, or insulting him. If he were a massive baby, they would be saying that!
Pick the hills you wish to die on. This won't be one of them.

It’s just conversation, your reaction to it is what needs addressing. My baby was teeny, she was full term and still scrawny until she started solids. People commented on it but it’s just an observation.

Babies do fuck all so the only conversations are around - big/small/long/short/eyes/who they look like/do they sleep/do they feed well.
There’s literally nothing to shut down here. Once your hormones sort themselves out you’ll see that.

I had the same with my eldest who's now at uni, still very slim at 5'6.
He was born at term weighing 5lb3 and wore tiny baby clothes until he was 10 weeks old.
People will comment, mostly innocently, so just let it wash over you.

Just say ‘yeah, he couldn’t wait to see the world so he arrived ahead of time’ and then change the subject. You don’t need to go into the details.

I had the same problem but for the opposite reasons. My babies were big and I had comments such as ‘gosh, isn’t he a bruiser’, ‘how did you birth him - you must be gaping’, ‘he’s a unit’ and the award winning ones from the MIL: ‘he’s a monster’ ‘you’re overfeeding him’ ‘we’re your colleagues horrified when you took him in the meet them’?.

it was so upsetting but my kids are healthy and happy and they’re developing well. That’s all that matters.

My middle DD was average size when she was born but didn't gain weight well and also had chicken pox at 6 weeks and actually lost weight. She was perfectly normal however for her age. By the time she was 6 months she was still tiny but doing normal 6 month stuff and people always commented on how bright and advanced she was because they thought she was much younger. People were always surprised when I said how old she was because she was so small.

Small but perfect 🥰

More of a jockey than a docker 🥰

Honestly, just shrug and let it go. My eldest was 2 months prem and was 3lb. Her skin was too big for her. Even when she started school, I had to re-sew her uniform because she was so small.

As long as baby eats well and is healthy, it's fine. People like to make comments about babies. I think you may need to have a chat with someone close to you about your reaction- considering not leaving the house because someone might say something isn't very healthy for you and your wellbeing.

You can't stop people from commenting and nothing you say will change what they think. Just go about your day, enjoy your baby.

I'm at the other end of the scale (pun intended!) Someone asked how old my baby was the other day, I said 4 months. They laughed and said 'I thought you were going to say 18 months by the size of him'. You've just got to laugh!

Similar situation with a slightly earlier and smaller baby here. Sometimes I get embarrassed when people assume that he’s much newer than he is, but generally I laugh it off. People really aren’t being mean, I get that mine is quite surprisingly small still. As a previous poster said, every baby has something eye catching about them. But yes, I do always say he was early and small.

People will find anything to comment on with babies. They’re small, they’re big, so much hair, still no hair, so quiet, so noisy… I think people are just looking for something to say half the time!

Ignore them, your baby is perfect just the way they are.

It’s just what people say, most won’t think about what they are saying. “Omg how tidy is he” is something so easily said, I say it with babies because I forget how tiny mine were. My oldest was small, smallest in our anti natal group by far, no idea what she weighed or what percentile she was on, I never took note of those things, my DH did, but he kept any opinions to himself. As far as I’m concerned she was happy and gaining weight.

There we’re two mums in my group who had it worse, their beautiful babies were massive, I’m talking by 3 month old I could barely pick them up and one had almost a full set of teeth. We were all fairly mature mums and all joked about how different our babies were and I think because we were older we didn’t care what others thought. Now you could not tell the difference in ages, my DD is still small against her peers, but I’m 5’2 the other babies look just like the rest of their peers too.

Best advice - take is all with a pinch of salt, as long as your happy that’s all that matters.

I think it's just something people say when they see a newborn, they don't mean yours is overly small. Both mine were average sized and got the same comments in the first few months. Congratulations!

My DD was that weight and was full term. It was very upsetting when people made comments. When she was five, she looked like a two year-old. People would say she was a doll. At primary school, she used to be called midget. She always looked two-three years younger than her age. She really struggled. She never really caught up and is still small as an adult.

I think people comment that they're tiny because they think they're so cute and gorgeous. In no way is it a criticism of either you or the baby. It's a compliment if anything.