January 08 - shiny new-year babies!

[Naetha]

Thought I'd start this thread now as I think there's already a couple of people to go on it, and I know there'll be an awful lot more!!

Will update when I get a chance

Hello Fruitful! Ha ha ha. Got you back in here.

I think that might be a good idea KT. sometimes I like doing a big round up so I can check I know what people are up to but sometimes not!

Hello Awen. Long time, no see!

p.s. Naetha - where's that pic of Ben smiling gone. It was so cute!

Can I ask what things you're doing that goes against any advice that is given? Call it a bad mothering questionnaire!

I'm sure most of you are near-perfect parents, but I know I've slacked on several things that go against health and safety guidance, and I'm sure some of you do too! Please can we share to alleviate my guilty conscience!

I don't sterilise my breast pump parts (wash in hot soapy water and leave to drain on clean kitchen roll). I figured that my boobs were crawling with bacteria after being close to milky warm breast pads, so as long as the cats hadn't been near anything that goes in his mouth, it should be OK. I do sterilise anything that holds the milk for any amount of time though (bottles, teats and lids), and sterilise his dummies once a day. I also use stuff from the steriliser up to 12 hours after it was sterilised (meant to re-sterilise after 3 hours). Is this common sense coupled with the realities of real life, or am I genuinely putting my LO's health at risk?

I've also done bad things like let him sleep on a pillow in his moses basket (only during the day when I can see him though) and had him under the duvet when on my chest (head and shoulders/arms above though). I've also left his nappy for up to 6 hours during the day if he's been sleeping loads / not fussed about it / I've forgotten.

Please tell me you guys do similar things and tell me your guilty secrets!

Oh and Susie - all Ben's photos are here

s7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/ldticp/Ben%20Llewelyn%20Thackray/

Hi all , hope you managed some sleep last night?

After the previous 2 nights I instantly agreed with dh when he proposed putting Tamara in the nursery last night. I think he was a bit as I argued for a good few days when we did that with ds, but dh has been keeling over from lack of sleep (and working incredibly hard and really long hours since he went back, which has made it worse for him) and of course we have an active 2.5 yr old to deal with so can't just climb back into bed during the day at the weekends! Am quite at myslf, as always felt a bit guilty about sticking ds in the nursery at 4 weeks (and was convinced that this time the lo would be in with us for longer).

Tbh, tho, since we weren't cosleeping, its no more of a faff getting up to feed/settle her in the nursery than getting her in and out of her crib and feeding her in the bedroom....especially since my antibiotics (finally finished today, hurrah!!!) have given her bad diarrhoea, so we've been guaranteed at least one nappy change every night.

Aaaanyway, it worked! (sort of!). DH gave her a bottle of ebm at 11pm, then we had one dummy run at 2am (2 mins settling), one at 3am (3 mins settling), then I bf her at 6am!! Even better, once she settled back to sleep (2 dummy runs between 6.30 and 7, probably due to lousy winding on my part ) we all slept until 8.30am when ds woke up

So....minor [guilt emoticon] at booting her out but general elation at getting a lot more sleep Oh, and in my defence, the nursery is at 90 degrees to my bedroom, with the crib touching our wall, both doors were open and the baby monitor was on...can you tell I'm feeling a bit defensive about kicking her out?!!

T also has terrible milk spots, even worse than ds had - massive whiteheads flare up on her cheeks, and then she scratches them and they look awful

Got a bit 'presenting Tamara to the family' party at my mum's next Sunday [panic] - sadly its the same weekend that dh is away for work until the Sunday morning, so its all going to be a bit manic. I can see ds getting quite clingy And then we're having a really big 'presenting T to our friends with kids' party at our house in 3 weeks...[double panic]...tentative guest list so far is about 60 adults plus 100 kids - think we're going to have to do some radical cutting since we can't fit more than 30% of that in our house !! Going to rope in all my friends to do baking/sandwich making for that, so hopefully the workload will be limited to removing all furniture and breakable objects and buying lots of crisps!!

Gosh, really long post - can you tell T is on playmat and dh is playing football with ds in the garden? Think I might take advantage of the temporary break to wash my hair......

Hope you're all having lovely weekends, xxx

PS Katy - absolutely agree...the era of the lengthy personal catch up for every post is well and truly behind us for now!!!

PPS Naetha - am and amazed at Ben's milk consumption...and at your herculean efforts to keep up with him by expressing...this can't possible last!!! Hope you got some sleep?

Oops..x posted Naetha!

List too long to mention, and scared of being reported to the MN parenting police...but it includes:

T now sleeping in a room on her own; using sterilised stuff 12 hours after its been on; giving bottle of ebm from 2 weeks risking 'nipple confusion' and letting T sleep under duvet with me on a couple of occasions

I do sterilise my breast pump before I use it, but then I only use it once a day, so that's hardly a big deal

Naetha I assume you will have had a spectacular nappy after all that marathon feasting!? Alek's hunger has died down recently and he has got a bit pukey.

I want to ask some thick questions re dummies and settling:

Now feeding finally well established I have been using a dummy more to settle DS and I worry if what I am doing is the WRONG THING (my constant worry!). When he has his fussy times in the middle of day and evening (crying after feeds and hard to console except by more comfort feeding). In the evenings only I have been putting him down awake wrapped up with a dummy which he happily chows on for 30 mins or more before succumbing to sleep, his basket is on a rocker so I can rock, shush and pat all this time. Am I putting him down too early? Also should I take the dummy out once he is asleep? He seems to have it in quite firmly. I can also use it after night feeds when he drops off a lot easier.

I also worry he is not spending enough time doing activities ie.. on mat / chair / being entertained, he doesn't seem to be able to tolerate much of this. Becuase otherwise I seem to spend all time when he is not alseep either feeding or soothing him. Again am I doing the WRONG THINGS???

I just get so despondent that I am not reading him properly yet... Books and internet are so contradictory i think constantly looking things up winds me up more! any advice gratefully received.

Sorry I'm very scatterbrained today!

DS went to sleep at 11 after his mammoth feeding session, then woke at 3 and took 6oz! Then woke at 6:15 and took another 5oz, and another 4oz at 8:30. Thankfully he went straight back to sleep after drinking his fill, so I got plenty of sleep too He's finally fallen asleep again at 10am after 4oz of formula again and still asleep! I just don't know where he's putting it all!

When he's been awake though he's been making two new discoveries - one is making noises. He now regularly makes "owl" noises (goes ooh and aah a lot!) especially if there's music, and absolutely loves to stand on his feet if you support him at his waist. He can only do this for about half a minute, but absolutely loves it, and will often cry if you don't let him!

Oh, and another bad-mother thing I do - if I'm feeding him laying on a pillow - often one of the cats will come along and lay down next to him. I'm sure it's not very hygienic, but it is very cute, and he seems to like it!

Angechica - I'm exactly the same reading / mis-reading Ben's cues. I've given up looking things up in books / on the internet unless I think something is wrong with him. The only thing I have found useful is the Baby Whisperer book which is great for interpreting cues / cries most of the time. Sometimes though he'll be giving the classic "I'm tired" signs and will actually be ravenously hungry. At the end of the day you just have to use your common sense.

One thing my Dad told me that I've found really reassuring, is that at this age (i.e. under 3 months) babies find everything fascinating and stimulating, and will find looking at your face / your flock wallpaper / a radiator just as stimulating as laying under a baby gym. They also get overwhelmed very easily, so often it's better to understimulate and let them get plenty of sleep / rest than try and keep them entertained when they're overstimulated. I figure if they're unhappy, they let us know by crying, so if they're not crying, it can't be so bad

Ben was wighed on Monday, and he weighed 12lbs 8oz at 6 weeks - definitely a porker!

Hi everyone - sympathies about the stitches Awen, it looks like I'm in a similar boat. GP referred me to gynae, so might have to get some 'repair' work done. Am really very upset about it, how come it wasn't done right in the first place, I don't know!!

Bad mummy things I've done - forgot to change nappy for ages, sleep with Tana under the quilt (not a duvet, and not a blanket, so not quite sure where it fits in the health and safety guidelines), leave her in a vomity bib for 20 minutes in case she's going to throw up as soon I give her a clean one , leave her to cry herself to sleep for 5-10 minutes (feel really guilty about that, although I know its perfectly fine, and I pick her up if she's still crying by 7 minutes). I've decided to stop stressing about the 'right' and 'wrong' thing, and just sticks to what seems to work, and lets me enjoy her.

Angechica - you can't be doing the Wrong Things because there are No Rules. Is he growing (a bit)? Are you enjoying him?

Naetha - in NICU they change nappies every 6 hours or when pooey. So thats what I do too.

Fluffy, it's nervewracking when they first sleep in another room, isn't it! I'm contemplating booting ds2 out, although dh isn't keen. Prob cos he sleeps through all the grunting and snuffling anyway.

Naetha - Ben's a total cutie!

Angechica - I'm with Fragolina - I think sometimes more information makes me insecure and question myself - which is why I've steadfastly refused to read any babycare books {except for factual ones}. When I have a problem I might use them but can I cheerfully encourage you to s*d them! My best friend thinks I'm mad. I find it much more enjoyable without.

I worry about not stimulating her enough. I think I get her to sleep too much during the day so I can nap-! I try to think that as long as I talk to her and make faces etc she is happy. She loves music and a rattle I was given but utterly ignores all other toys,. Lights are a different matter - she adores them!

I don't change nappies at night unless I have to. I did HAVE to last night but I got the timing wrong and shge did a projectile poo right up the wall . Lovely at 3am!

A question for you ladies. We've been given one of those soft books that ties on a cot. We're not using a cot at the moment but I can tie it to the moses basket. Is it safe to do this? PErhaps during the day when I have an eye on?

When you are there - not at night. Or find somewhere in your house to tie it and park the bouncy chair in front of it. I have a dolls cradle in the kitchen with the cot mobile on it (ds2 goes in bouncy chair, not the cradle!)

Right, its 8pm, he is asleep in my arms. Shall I put him in his cot? It would be his earliest bedtime yet. Hmm, we could get pizza ...

Hiya all not been on for a while dh has been away for the last 3wks and has another 3wks to go so been a knightmare with halfterm.Ive ended up buying one of those sling things as i just havent got enough pairs of hands for a baby and toddler. Alex is 5 wks now and has been smiling and cooing for the last week-he also weighs 10lbs6 and holds his head up-hes very strong.Hes also got loads milkspots is there anything to get rid of them? He is such a good baby compared to my first that im tempted to have another-i feel more broody since having him then i did before thats when he smiles at me any way im not so broody in the morning.Any ideas when they start going longer at night ist 2 to 3hrly at moment-really shold start expressing for when dh gets home i deserve a break

agree there are No Rules - except any YOU, The Parents make up

um, had thoughts to share, but mind has emptied....oh yes bad mummy things:

• forgetting to change nappy for far too long
• saying 'oh for goodness sake be quiet' to a 4 week old
• wishing away his early days so i can get more sleep
• turning down the monitor to pretend he's not stirring so i can finish my glass of wine

etc,etc,etc don't report me!

ff - ds2 was 10,3.5 at 3 wks, and 10,12 at 4wks if that helps.

oh and can't wait for ds2 to go into his room, just me being lazy at the mo, can't be *rsed to stagger across the landing instead of just sitting up and reaching across to the crib. will move him soon tho as i really don't like sharing my room!

right enough sins confessed to, best be off

Is anyone else's baby totally uninterested in toys? She loves lights and music and a little rattle but apart from that, it's our faces she likes or a spot on the wall. Gym thing and mobile get no reaction whatsoever!

or back of the sofa
or corner of a picture frame

but esp lights, and reflections of lights,
no you are not alone!!

Ange glad the dummy helped tbh i don't know why they do the new born teats so small. Also well done you two having night out together if only ! RE the dummy stuff it just depends how you feel about them. tbh i think if he will lie in basket for 30 min and get him self to sleep that's great, i have used my dummy for both dc's and neither of them created too much fuss when i took them away at 2. If it helps them settle then i would be happy however if you don't want him to come to rely on them maybe take it away when asleep but chances are if he really sucking he may wake up. i would go with what makes you and him happy and not bother too much r/e books and net.
Gingeme has the expressed bottle helped ? I really want to continue to exclusively bf Martha but like the rest of us have that unsettled period in the evening. However i know like you i have loads of milk but expressing is such a pain with only getting an ounce at a time. Just wondered if it helps ? Although most of us seem in same boat regardless of bf or formula feeding.

MM great stuff that Nathan home and you sound like you are coping fine, well done. Great news about his hearing too.

Fluffy glad the cherry tip helped will go to boots tom and pick up some of them bags.

Frag hope you get apt through soon for stitches can't believe you still waiting

Awen no bleeding here now all stopped have you mentioned it to hv ?

Naetha well done. Your not alone on the confession stakes
Can't believe the amount of milk Ben is taking

Ange glad the dummy helped tbh i don't know why they do the new born teats so small. Also well done you two having night out together if only ! RE the dummy stuff it just depends how you feel about them. tbh i think if he will lie in basket for 30 min and get him self to sleep that's great, i have used my dummy for both dc's and neither of them created too much fuss when i took them away at 2. If it helps them settle then i would be happy however if you don't want him to come to rely on them maybe take it away when asleep but chances are if he really sucking he may wake up. i would go with what makes you and him happy and not bother too much r/e books and net.
Gingeme has the expressed bottle helped ? I really want to continue to exclusively bf Martha but like the rest of us have that unsettled period in the evening. However i know like you i have loads of milk but expressing is such a pain with only getting an ounce at a time. Just wondered if it helps ? Although most of us seem in same boat regardless of bf or formula feeding.

MM great stuff that Nathan home and you sound like you are coping fine, well done. Great news about his hearing too.

Fluffy glad the cherry tip helped will go to boots tom and pick up some of them bags.

Frag hope you get apt through soon for stitches can't believe you still waiting

Awen no bleeding here now all stopped have you mentioned it to hv ?

Naetha well done. Your not alone on the confession stakes
Can't believe the amount of milk Ben is taking

Frag sorry just saw your newer post for you that you might need more repair work too.

Susie i wouldn't tie anything to cot yet but think it would be ok on basket whilst you around.

Katy agree lights are a real fascination subject here too.

Glad to know Martha not the only one with spots they are really bad today they seem to get better then flare up again. Someone said to me to try aqueous cream which i have for dd's eczema so will give that a try as some of them are really crusty.

Well we had fab night last night Martha went down in her basket at 8 slept till 11 had quick feed and change then slept with us and only woke at 3 for quick feed until sleeping until 7.

Does anyone then spend all day thinking about what they did the day before a good night in an attempt to recreate another good night and some semblance of routine. However still haven't come up with an answer yet.

Hope everyone having good weekend

lol lilyloo yeah i wonder that too. Ive only just stopped bleeding thankfully so will now wait for aunt flo to restart her monthly visit again hoping the bf will keep her at bay though.Wonder if sudocrem will help witht he spots may ask hv.

Does anyones baby seem to prefer laying on their side?

I know your not supposed to but Alex had a stinking cold and was choking everytime he was on his back as im guess mucous was running down the back of his throat etc and he couldnt bring it up. So i rolled a blanket and stuck him on his side and found this helped in fact he settles alot better too as hes able to bring wind up by himself.Hes quite snug in his crib so no danger of rolling on his belly.I just dont know what to do for the best as they keep changing all the rules on this my mum said with my brother it was put them on their belly, with me on their side and now its on their back.

Afternoon ladies.
Confession time Im sterilsing dummies in a cup of boiling water. Might use one,not that they are helping, then use the other one a while later or later in the day but the water is cold and probably not very sterile.
Right how many ladies have switched to formula? George just does not settle at all and wants to be on my boob the whole time. I know they have a growing spurt at 6 weeks but this is rediculous. I am goign to talk to the health visitor tommorrow but I think Ive already made my mind up to switch. I know I said Id realy try this time but all my other babys were formula fed and like I said before theyre all fine. What you reckon?
Guess Im just looking foe someone to say 'yeah hell be fine' instead of 'its up to you' like dh said as he left for work. Not a happy household at the moment but wont go into it.

Yup, mumtosanda - my baby turns on her side every opportunity. I don't like it but in Spain apparently the latest recommendation is that they sleep on side.

Gingeme - what about a bit of both? either a late bottle of formula as many do or a little top up as i do (usually a mix of formula and ebm as sabela finds it easier to digest.) I find the top up stops the non-stop feeding which would drive me batty. I give both boobs for around 20 mins and then a top up if she's fretting for more. Often she has a half oz top up and goes to sleep. My milk supply seems fine with it. Of COURSE he would be fine though - aren't your others?