August 2021 - They've been here for half a year

[BertieBotts]

Can you believe it! Our lovely little ones are (roughly) halfway to their first birthdays.

Welcome friends old and new for discussion of sleep, teeth, weaning, milestones, navigating post-baby relationships and the whole existential dread of parenthood... I mean those amazing moments when they make your heart melt. Or produce a poo that makes the wallpaper melt. Oh, all of them. Nothing is off limits because it's just good to know that somebody else has been there.

I could do with some suggestions on this too @Ready2020 feel like I really need someone to hold my hand and take me through the entire thing 🙈 Was so fed up of him just screwing his face up and crying every time we try puréed foods, after me saying I was only giving him fresh green veg and he would never taste sugar til he’s 6 😂 Even the ellas kitchen stuff has been a fail so far so I just handed him the crust off my pizza tonight for him to suck on. He just had a little chew and gave me it back but it made me feel a bit better that there is hope he will eat eventually 😂

As you all know my little business has taken off way quicker than I could have ever imagined and I’m non-stop with orders which I couldn’t be more grateful for. I was listening to the diary of a CEO podcast that I’ve started listening to while running and Jimmy Carr was on it. I haven’t actually looked into what he’s done but I think he’s ‘cancelled’ just now for an old joke he did or something 🤦🏼‍♀️ But aside from that, it was SUCH a good episode. Possibly the best podcast episode I’ve ever listened to! He wasn’t the funny Jimmy at all and was so serious through the whole thing. He said so many things about going down the wrong path in life with work to begin with and he just couldn’t find what it was he should be doing since he had this degree that he felt he needed to use. He used the phrase ‘when you realise the ladder you’ve been climbing is up against the wrong wall’ and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. It’s like you go to uni, get a degree, get a job, think great I’ve got this job, continue on at that job, work your way up and once you’re already near the top you realise you don’t like any of it but you’re sort of trapped by the fact you’ve built your way up there. This is totally what I’ve done with teaching and now it feels (or felt) like I was failing by quitting - which I still haven’t done btw, my boss knows none of this 😂

My Instagram page has been steadily growing and I’ve had a few messages off these mum pages with a few thousand followers looking for freebies to promote on their page. I’ve done it once or twice but now when I see the message pop up saying how much they love my page I can totally see what’s coming. So tonight I saw one of those messages come in and thought ‘here we go’.. only to click on it and realise it was from quite a big baby company that I’ve bought products from. I clicked on and off their profile a good few times trying to work out what was going on. Why would they have followed me and why were they messaging me? Surely they didn’t want a freebie? 🙈 I replied but to my amazement it really was the girl that owns this company messaging me and she just told me to keep doing what I’m doing. How lovely is that, just taking time out her day to build someone else up 🥺 I went further back on her page and realised they’ve only been going a couple of years and she built her way up from posting a few orders per day from her house like I was a few weeks ago, now it’s more and more. Can’t get over how nice that was and it really gave me a boost tonight, just thought I’d share because I can’t message anyone in real life boasting about them messaging me without looking tragic 😂

@sarah13xx @Ready2020 honestly weaning is still only in the beginning stage here but it's literally only in the last few days dd will take any purée mainly fruit and like at most a third of a pouch.
But seriously I think taking a step back and stopping for a couple of weeks as dd really wasn't ready was the best thing. She's much more ready now and tbh I still can't see her being in regular meals of any quantity any time soon.
We went for afternoon tea on Sunday as am in Glasgow staying with my cousin and she enjoyed a raspberry, some ham and some bread though it was a bit too soft so freaked me out a bit.

@Ready2020 DS has had bits of cooked courgette and broccoli as well as yoghurt, toast, banana and avocado - so far as I can tell, he's taken on bits of yogurt, banana, avocado and broccoli, mostly by gumming bits off and some then being swallowed - for me, I don't think I'd worry too much about bits being bitten off as when he's done that and not been interested they've just dropped out of his mouth!

I'm having to try very hard not to get involved in tiredness olympics with DH - Rowan's sleep has just gone to pot the past week and we're both knackered so competing will help no one. But I can't help finding it irritating DH being a bit moody about it, as I'm still getting less sleep, and sleep which is more broken - and this is the first time since he was newborn that his has been anywhere near as bad as mine!

@PurplePansy05 you Definatly don’t need to beat yourself up about worry and health anxiety when it comes to kids (or yourself!) Don’t worry, we are all winging it in the end. 🤣

So yesterday DS1 was throwing up everywhere in the morning bless him, I had to ring DH hoke from work to help me as there was sick EVERYWHERE, and at that moment Isaac decided it was time for a poop and really needed to go to sleep. 😱 and only DS1 just wanted to be cuddled because he felt crummy. What a day.

Ahahaha sorry @BertieBotts I can’t even blame baby brain for that!

@sarah13xx that is so lovely of that woman! What’s your Instagram handle for your business? Sorry if you’ve already said, I remember your Etsy but not your insta. I really wish I had a talent I could capitalise on. I was talking to DH the other day and I don’t feel like I do anything rewarding at all which is quite depressing really. 😟

Aww sarah that is sooo lovely, bless her! And it sounds like you've really found a good thing here. Keep it up! I always feel such an absolute mess/failure when the topic of work comes up because I feel like I stand in a big room of ladders and maybe touch one or two of them and then jump off and in the meantime everyone else has actually got somewhere and I haven't D:

Username that makes a lot more sense! Sorry for assuming!

With BLW sticks of soft food, they will bite and squish off chunks and generally for the first stage they will be learning how to manipulate those chunks and 90-100% of them will be spat out. That is exactly how they deal with a lump that is too big for them to swallow, this is why they need to be sitting upright and not reclined.

With purees they kind of "drink" it so it's a different set of skills that they are using. With BLW they are using the muscles in their mouth/tongue to manipulate the food and move it around their mouth, then later they learn to gum on it which helps to mash it down a bit. But the first stage there will be more going out than staying in. They do move on from this but they need to learn this bit first, it's kind of a safety mechanism to help them not choke.

Alex is quite good with this - we have already moved on from the spitting 90% out in chunks and now he swallows 90% and only spits it out if it's an enormous piece (bread/toast that goes soggy is prone to this) or there's a bit he can't break down. He's chewing on ripe pear sticks at the moment and some of the skin is being projected out at quite some speed :o

BUT - I will say that I think this is an area where he is ahead of the curve - my other kids were spitting much more out at this age (he is still not quite 6 months, 3 days to go). He even has a bit of a pincer grip which is not usually seen until 8-9 months. So don't worry if your babies aren't swallowing much yet. Please bear that in mind when you read my list, this is what he's had in "full solid" form and swallowed some of:

Pear
Banana
Strawberry
Cucumber (not able to break much off this, just the soft bit in the middle/enjoys chewing for teething)
Baby breadstick snack
Rice cakes
Brocolli
Filled pasta
Garlic bread
Naan bread
Toast/raisin toast
Rice (sticky rice in balls/he sticks it to his hand and sucks off)
Chip
Paper

If you feel anxious about BLW and lumps it's worth googling "BLW gagging" as you can watch a baby go through the whole process of dealing with a too-big chunk which is reassuring (you know the video ends well!) but also, it's fine to just stick to mashed/pureed food if you don't like it and return to finger foods at more like 8 months or so.

@sarah13xx it worked again last night! He had his last bottle at 12:30am, but that was because he skipped his usual 10pm one as he was zonked in the car. We're not looking to drop that one, just the next two 😂 he then didn't have any until 7am. The car thankfully did the settling for us last night, and the water trick helped on two occasions (I didn't allow him to take tooo much).

We arrived in Suffolk at 6am this morning, and DS slept basically the whole way. It's the best nights sleep he's had in his entire life 😂 and he actually went to bed a decent time because of the time we left.

@sarah13xx that's amazing! And absolutely not tragic at all! You should be really proud of yourself! Is that the podcast from the new fittie in dragon's den? I heard him on tv the other and I felt SO motivated after what he'd said. He said something about how everyone has a sat nav to take them where they're going, but it won't get you there on its own and you still have to get in, turn the key and drive. I was like YEAH, IM DRIVING after 😂

So many nice, motivational posts 😊 Thanks girls, it's nice to read. And well done for all your efforts!

@Magik01 This sounds like one hell of a day! Is today any better?

Re what you said about not doing anything rewarding, is this how you feel about your work? Why do you think that is, is it because you are not feeling passionate about it/not enjoying it?

It's a real double edge sword with young kids, I find. I'm very grateful for my career and love my job, but because I make more money than DH, I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I have to keep going even though I'd love to work 3 days a week max if I could. I sometimes think that if I did something that I'm not passionate about and which would pay less, my life would be easier in many ways and I could cut down my days/hours without any guilt. I don't think anything is easy in working life when you have young children though! I would say though, I have two friend who made the same comment as you after they had children. Now all of their kids are in school and their careers have definitely picked up, they started new things and worked their way up and they are much more fulfilled now. It's amazing to see.

I said to DH I'd love a side hustle but don't think I'm creative or talented enough in anything else apart from my main job 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ I make decent cakes and cookies, I suppose...maybe I'll develop this, go on GBBO and then write books/bake/chat to Lorraine for a living 😂😂😂 Everyone loves cake, right?! xx

One of my friends actually has a cake making and decoration business, she's amazing! Local to here but she's @cocoandcora on Instagram if you want a nose.

Thanks everyone for the tripp trapp advice, it was really helpful. We bought the chair, baby set and a cushion, and a friend happened to have a spare tray and harness. Excited to put it together this weekend and try a first food - did anyone give a finger food instead of purees first?

@BertieBotts that is such a great list, thanks for that.

@PurplePansy05 lots of people have successful cake making businesses, one of DH's family does and it's definitely not 'just a side hustle' for her. Worth giving a go! I'm sure we'd all happily rate your cakes on here. Sadly without the tasters though 😂

Yes I did start with finger foods with all three DC :) I like to do that as I think it gives you an idea whether they are ready or not.

Ah I'm not anywhere near a pro like Bertie's friend (very impressive!). I'm more so thinking about selling six-packs of brownies at a local farmer's market 😂 Maybe selling my nana's cakes, I know her recipes. Those of you opening your own businesses, is it still the case you can make up to a certain amount per year without declaring it and having to pay tax to HMRC? It used to be something like £2-2.5k years ago I believe?

More burning questions, I swear I come up with something weird every week, sorry 😂

Can anyone explain the difference between rompers and dungarees? I'm too thick to work it out.

Also, all of Leo's dungarees atm have poppers on the inside leg. In practice, is it best to keep buying the popper ones for longer or does it not make a difference when they get bigger as they'll wiggle a lot anyway?

I'm also struggling with his clothes getting dirty around the neck (weaning). I swear I triple bib him (bib, long sleeve bib and silicone bib) and yet food still ends up around his neck and stains his babygrows/tops. Any wise suggestions on how to prevent this? I soak up his clothes overnight with a bit of Vanish and then wash at 40C but it doesn't always come off entirely and I'm too lazy for this xx

I would call a sleepsuit without feet a romper, and dungarees the one with the straps that go over the shoulders. But there is a style in Germany which is popular which is like dungarees, except instead of straps over the shoulders they are like wider bands and they have feet on. Those are called "strampler" which translates to "kicker" but doesn't seem to have an actual English term. Maybe that is more of a romper?

I think the poppers on the legs are to facilitate nappy changes. Certainly the stramplers don't have poppers in the legs and I found them SO annoying - they give you clothes in hospital and they are all this type! You do sometimes find with the poppers down the legs that they open when they are trying to crawl and they end up wearing a dress :o

There is no good way to avoid the neck staining. You can try double bibbing with a dribble bib + long sleeve bib but essentially you just need to wait until they move on from runny purees so it doesn't run down their neck so much. But essentially - it's the end of being able to buy white clothing for about four years. That or quickly swap the top for one in a darker colour or something you don't care about as much. You get to know what foods are more likely to make permanent stains (tomato, berries, squash, carrots, banana) - things like porridge still make marks but they wash out. I have definitely been known to make a meal decision based on how much I like the top they are wearing and what colour it is!

Best stain removal combo IME is Vanish or similar (I use the spray rather than the soak ones) and then dry in front of a sunny window, or even better outside, even if it's overcast.

This is a strampler, although one with poppers under the legs.

www.babyone.de/strampler/staccato/stamplerset/2002580705809.html

I don't like the way they look either I get so irrationally annoyed by these things!

Hahaha! I spent my entire first year of life in stramplers, my DM was clearly a big fan 😂😂😂

Oh ffs, Vanish and I are a lifelong love affair then - I bought him tons of white sleepsuits to see the Snuza easily 😂😂😂 Was hoping to keep them for DC2 potentially but this won't happen after weaning. I'd rather sacrifice the sleepsuits than the more expensive pieces...but I am a bit sad because I'm very impressed with his JL Anyday sleepsuits!

So here's my dilemma, as an example, these are dungarees to me, but no, apparently it's a romper :

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1020679421/dinosaur-romper-baby-boy-romper-dinosaur?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=romper+baby+boy&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1

@BertieBotts -
Ah such a great list thanks. X

She just doesn't know what to do with food when I put it Infront of her hence I started doing rough mashed up foods

So far roasted aubergine mash is very fav!

Oh it's probably just one of those regional things then. Maybe the person used a pattern from America, l think they use romper there?

Oh but if you have access to Jako-O in the UK we got some chunky towelling long sleeve bibs from there which are excellent. Their clothes are amazingly cute too.

@PurplePansy05 it's 1k limit for self employment/casual earnings before you have to submit a self assessment

@PurplePansy05 I'd use romper and dungarees interchangeably for those! Though if I thought about it, maybe I'd use dungarees more for something in a heavier fabric? DH calls them dungaroos which I think is adorable, and DS lives in them, my very favourite type of clothing

@PurplePansy05 yesterday was better luckily, I kept him off nursery to be on the safe side. However I’ve been throwing up from midnight until 4am 😭 Looking after a baby when you feel sick is awful and have no energy.

Job wise I used to manage a shop (although I didn’t love it I felt like I had an alright job) then when I had DS1 it made sense to go to part time as after childcare it would probably work out similar take home pay. Not to mention the company I worked for went bust when I was pregnant so got made redundant so it kind of made the decision for me.

Not I feel like I just stack shelves in unsociable hours. I wouldn’t choose to go the job or the hours if I had a choice but I don’t. And I can’t really look for more hours until the kids are at school. Hey ho!

Ah thanks @dirtyfries! Should've known it's less generous than I thought 😂

@biscuitcat Dungaroos is a very cute name, baby dungarees should totally be called that! Thanks for your input, I've been looking for, what I call, summer dungarees for Leo (so either lighter material or short) and it turns out the world calls them rompers 😂 One learns every day!

@Magik01 That's hard if you were in a more senior role before and now you need to take a step back and wait roughly another 3.5 years to build things back professionally. I'd struggle with that, no doubt. On the other hand, I sometimes look at working life longer term and think Christ, I have another 33 years till state pension age...I've lived for just over 35 😂 So it's a long time still to go and therefore the window of focus on progression can also shift or extend if that makes sense? That's of course if this is actually what you want to do, every job is meaningful but not every job is fulfilling to us personally. It doesn't take away from having to put up with things now, but without sounding ridiculous, I genuinely believe and seen women who had children in their 30s and flourished a decade later, physically, mentally, professionally. It really can be done very successfully, it needs a fair dose of grit though and primarily it requires time for ourselves. This time will come xx

It really is so hard with the work/child balance isn't it. I'm really lucky I happened to go into something that is reasonably flexible and I'm able to do self employed. It's only now that I feel competent enough to go it alone though, so that's lucky too. No idea if I'll actually get enough work though. If I don't, and the custom drawing/wedding stationery thing doesn't take off then it's going to have to be bar work for me for the time being in the evenings when DH is home. I'm really hoping to avoid that but I'm not sure I'll be able to. DH is the breadwinner, and it's salaried which again is lucky so I can take the jump/risk of self employment because he has the steady income. But there will be a point where I'll NEED to have an income of some sort. It'll feel like such a waste if I end up doing bar work or something similar. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I've literally spent my life in architecture so it will be a bit gutting if I have to put all on hold.

@PurplePansy05 it is possible - I won't link my DH's family's Instagram because it'll be incredibly outing (even though I've outed myself so much already!) but she has 52k followers. It's something you can practice and perfect now (within reason!) and selling brownies locally sounds like a lovely way to spread your name about.