Do you ever get offended by people basically calling your baby fat?

[FebruaryJuly]

As it says above.

My baby number 2 is now 11 weeks old and he was born very slight. I breastfed for the first 3 weeks but he was only slowly gaining weight so my midwife say I had to start mixed feeding. The mixed feeding has been much better for myself and getting rest as well.

Since starting the formula, he quickly gained weight. He is 50th percentile in length and 75th percentile in weight, though when born he was 50th percentile in weight. The doctor says his weight is absolutely fine.

I am however really hurt by comments from a number of people about how big and chunky he is (although I know chubby babies are healthy babies). The constant comments are making me worry that he is overweight.

So many people, particularly on husband's side and mainly MIL always say how big he is, how chubby he is, call him a bruiser and that he looks like a bouncer. They never say it maliciously and are always meaning well but it really hurts me. They also see he a few times a week so it's not as if they are commenting on how much he has grown.

MIL said today that he's so big because I'm mixed feeding and he wouldn't be that big if I was just formula feeding.

It's a compliment!

It's a compliment, let it go.. it is just people trying to exclaim How healthy he is looking

It’s a compliment! They’re saying how healthy he looks. That you’re looking after him well.

My DD was 99th centile. I got so many comments! She is rather tall and slim built down at 4. I never took offence I thought her rolls were adorable x

OP I had the same both of mine were top centile babies (99th+ so big!) and I worried about it endlessly. Well meaning comments would play on my mind and I kept thinking they’d be obese when they grow up. Honestly try to relax mine are still heavy but have grown into their weight and are slim and healthy.

Agreed, it's a compliment. My NCT group are very competitive about whose baby is the biggest!

No.
Why would I be offended by such a lovely compliment.?
Most people love a munchable baby.

It’s definitely a compliment. I loved people telling me that my DD was gaining weight. She was absolutely enormous at one point and I still loved people commenting on her gorgeous chubby cheeks.

Could it be upsetting you because the comments are coming since you’ve added in formula?

I had this and it definitely was not a compliment. He was a really hungry baby who never went more than 2-3 hours during the daytime between bottles. DM basically said I was over feeding him and he should be on a four hour routine.

He did even out when he got mobile and it now quite a slim toddler.

I know it's cute and I take it as a compliment if people say he is cute and cubby but it's being told he looks like a bouncer, a little fatty and a bruiser that I don't like.

I myself love his rolls and know that it makes him even cuter, it's how some people say it though that offends me. X

There is nothing better than a baby that looks like the Michelin man. Its adorable!

Bit I'm not sure I'd like him being called a bruiser though.

@Bancha yes I agree with that! I always felt guilty adding formula in but it's what he needed so I was happy to do that.

It's also being told that he wouldn't be this far if I stopped mixed feeding and only kept to formula. That makes me feel like I'm being told that I should be stopping breast and just doing formula. Xx

No, it’s meant as a compliment because they look so fat and cute. Babies are not fat because they are unhealthy so how could it be an insult?

@Toddlerteaplease exactly, there are certain ways to say it.

I have felt happy when people say "aww look at his rolls" and "he's a little chubster" or "he's so cute and cubby".

But the words "bruiser" "he's going to be the bouncer of the family" "he's a little fatty" are really offensive to me. Xx

@User1357 it's the words that are used in my opinion x

I agree most people think of it as a compliment, however agree some of the wording is a bit weird- bruiser wtf.

I'd always mean it as a compliment. My friends baby was over 9 pounds and at 5 months he is in 6-9 month clothing and he is absolutely a fine solid fella. He is really strong and alert for his age as well. I'd tell anyone who says it to you in an unkind way to bugger off. I was a huge baby as well and I'm now barely 5 foot and a size 8 and I was fed baby rice from 12 weeks because I was so hungry .

[quote FebruaryJuly]@Bancha yes I agree with that! I always felt guilty adding formula in but it's what he needed so I was happy to do that.

It's also being told that he wouldn't be this far if I stopped mixed feeding and only kept to formula. That makes me feel like I'm being told that I should be stopping breast and just doing formula. Xx[/quote]
Would I g be this fat* that is supped to say.

The reason I probably take more offence to that is because the person who says that has always disliked that I am still breast feeding and make that known. X

It’s certainly not always intended as complimentary. I put a huge amount of effort into breastfeeding but was ultimately unsuccessful — supply never came in despite all advice from all sources, tests etc — and had reluctantly switched to formula by eight weeks, and I had some definitely snide comments about ‘formula weight gain’.

I’ve said this before on here fifty namechanges ago, but two other women with babies started talking loudly in a north London cafe where I was ffing DS that you could ‘always tell a friend baby because of their fat, puffy look’. Failing to bf was still so raw with me I went into the loo with DS and cried. That was intended for me to hear.

See the intention not the words. You say she is well meaning so overlook it. Choose not to be offended.

This speaks volumes about the ingrained attitudes to weight we have in our society doesn't it.

My exclusively breastfed daughter was on the 75 percent for weight and had folds in her arms and legs, so it absolutely isn't about what sort of milk they have. She's now a healthy weight teen, she was born with a good appetite and will have to take notice to eat well and exercise I think. My son also born on the 50th dropped to the 25th, he eats like a sparrow (now 11) and will likely always be very skinny.

Chubby babies are healthy and imo we all need to worry less about weight.

@FebruaryJuly well they sound like a total dick! And, more importantly, uninformed. In my experience babies do what they’re going to do irrespective of what we do!! Combi feeding sounds perfect for you and your baby. It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job

My DD was skin and bone born at 4lbs 13oz at 37 weeks. I can remember the first time someone said she had a chubby face and legs and it made me quite emotional because I’d been waiting for her to chub out for so long it made me so happy that other people were beginning to notice her weight gain too.

Please don’t get caught up on your children’s weight; unless anything is advised by a health care professional.

I love a fat baby but I don't tend to comment as I know people get a bit funny about it.