Do you ever get offended by people basically calling your baby fat?

[FebruaryJuly]

As it says above.

My baby number 2 is now 11 weeks old and he was born very slight. I breastfed for the first 3 weeks but he was only slowly gaining weight so my midwife say I had to start mixed feeding. The mixed feeding has been much better for myself and getting rest as well.

Since starting the formula, he quickly gained weight. He is 50th percentile in length and 75th percentile in weight, though when born he was 50th percentile in weight. The doctor says his weight is absolutely fine.

I am however really hurt by comments from a number of people about how big and chunky he is (although I know chubby babies are healthy babies). The constant comments are making me worry that he is overweight.

So many people, particularly on husband's side and mainly MIL always say how big he is, how chubby he is, call him a bruiser and that he looks like a bouncer. They never say it maliciously and are always meaning well but it really hurts me. They also see he a few times a week so it's not as if they are commenting on how much he has grown.

MIL said today that he's so big because I'm mixed feeding and he wouldn't be that big if I was just formula feeding.

@Brimorion thats awful. Hold you head high- a vindictive bitchy mother will have far more negative impact on her baby than a lovely FF mother ever will. People seem to think BF is the be all and end all and will atone for any other behaviour/attitudes. Absolutely not. Your baby sounds like a gorgeous butter ball be proud. (Mother of one FF and one BF babies both of whom were ginormous!)

Babies are supposed to be "fat".

Overall people mean it as a complement.

My DS is 2 months old, exclusively breastfeed and went from the 25th percentile in weight to the 75th. He is a little chubster! 😂

My mum called him a bruiser a few times and I nipped it in the bud and told her not to call him that, it wasn’t nice.

Can I just confirm to everyone, I am happy that he is cubby and has rings and rolls, and I call him that myself. I just don't like THE WORDS CHOSEN!

"Fatty"
"Phil Mitchel"
"Bouncer"
"Bruiser"

Those words hurt me, meant well or not.

As I know they are meant well, I do t say anything, but they do hurt me.

In retrospect, DS did look a lot like the fat skinhead kid in This Is England when he was about six months old (having been born prem). It was the lack of hair I think. He dropped the chub once he was mobile, and is 9th centile for weight now.

But yep, I would not have thanked anybody for making that comparison at the time (or Phil Mitchell FFS). Your MIL sounds like she is using this as a stick to beat your parenting with, rather than a compliment on his little podgy rolls.

Phil Mitchell is pretty mean.

But then I can openly say my DD look like Mr Burns from the simpsons when she was born.. absolutely spitting image with bad jaundice so was also glowing yellow. Very fitting.

I think it at least partly from the shitty stereotypes people insist on forcing on to babies, a chunky boy is a bruiser/bouncer or whatever but a chunky girl is rarely referred to like that.
I noticed it with my dc, DD was a reasonably chubby baby but comments were always how adorable/cute/pretty she was but with DS (admittedly a massive baby, so far off the centile lines!) it was mainly 'he's a bruiser' or similar.

[quote CarryOnNurse20]@Brimorion thats awful. Hold you head high- a vindictive bitchy mother will have far more negative impact on her baby than a lovely FF mother ever will. People seem to think BF is the be all and end all and will atone for any other behaviour/attitudes. Absolutely not. Your baby sounds like a gorgeous butter ball be proud. (Mother of one FF and one BF babies both of whom were ginormous!)[/quote]
Thanks, @CarryOnNurse20, I did usually, that just caught me on the raw.

I know breastfeeding mothers post often about other people’s unpleasant responses, but I certainly had my share of total strangers telling me I shouldn’t be formula feeding. Again, I’ve said this on here before, but a man who subsequently told me he was a recently-arrived asylum seeker came up to me when I was ffing on a park bench and told me I should be breast-feeding!

No

Hi OP there is absolutely no basis to think your baby is extra chubby due to the breastfeeding. I had 3 fully breastfed babies all top centiles for weight and all had to be put in toddler sized nappies from 4 months due to their enormous thigh rolls.

They are now healthy, slender kids and each gradually just lost the weight as they grew.

If you are happy mixed feeding, keep it up. What your ridiculous relatives are saying is only a reflection on them - try to remember their comments have no relevance to your choices for your gorgeous LO.

Sorry I meant no reason to think they are TOO chubby.

Aww I understand. As others have advised - let it go, it’s not worth the stress.

However must add - it’s even worse when it’s the mumma doing this. I’ve a friend who says this about her daughter ‘huge’, ‘chunky’, ‘little fatty’ - it’s uncomfortable and very noticeable 😖 she has a thing about her own weight tho and it appears to have affected her with her baby too.

Extra chubby due to bf? My brother in law sat my wife down and told her they thought i was starving out first ebf child because he was long and thin (50th centile for weight, 97th height).

Fast forward, second child 97th centile for both height and weight and born 10lb 3 and that's before any bf 🤣🤣.

Ignore the comments and love your child for who they are!

No I didn't get offended as babies are meant to be squishy and chubby. The more rolls the better I say.