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Original poster

June 07 - Piling on the pounds....and we're not talking about the babies!!!

973 replies

DaisyABandyBoobToo · 28/09/2007 22:10

I'm off to bed too now...good night!

OP posts:
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bumperlicious · 03/10/2007 13:26

TA get down off that fence! No affection for the baby, no eye contact, ignoring from 7pm till 7am regardless of the fact that the baby might be unwell?! A baby just needs to be left alone to grow? C'mon!

annobal · 03/10/2007 13:28

Ria that is fab news. Well done!

faylisa · 03/10/2007 13:30

excellent news Ria!

faylisa · 03/10/2007 13:30

and ria i don't thonk you abu at all

bumperlicious · 03/10/2007 13:32

That's great ria. baby massage at your house sounds nice too!

daisyandbabybootoo · 03/10/2007 13:32

only 10 minutes of eye contact and cuddles and play per day

leaving them to scream until they conk out wth exhaustion, possibly overheating in the process

I'm all for routines etc, but not at the expense of my baby's emotional and developmental well being.

trendaverter · 03/10/2007 13:43

Can't get off the fence. Won't.

I think she (CV) is very extreme (IMO). Having said that, I have tried co-sleeping and found it impossible.... as did DH who went into the spare room for the night. Slings gave me a bad back. I did the no eye contact thing (only during night feeds though). etc etc. My point is... different things work for different people.

Aside from obvious neglect and cruelty, I do feel that everyone is unique, and each method has its pros and cons. I think it would be daft to adhere to any one of the 3 religiously. I, personally, have cherry picked various methods from various people (including CV) and I am happy with that approach.

I think you should do whatever works for your family circumstances and whatever makes you, your family and your LO happy.

I don't co-sleep, BF, wear slings, or even SAHM for that matter. But who am I to dictate what is 'right'? We all have different methods in this thread and we do what works for us as individuals, are any of US wrong?
For good television, they are showing extremes. They WANT you to shout at your telly. They want discussions like this. Pulls in the ratings after all

riabutterflew · 03/10/2007 13:53

well put TA.

foxybrown · 03/10/2007 13:54

I agree with you TA, and you are doing the right thing, cherry picking what works. But you are smart and you seem work by instinct too. What you are doing is very similar to my routine with DS1. What I believe is dangerous is that some people will try to follow it religiously, which is not only dangerous for the baby physically but emotionally and mentally damaging for the mother. How many people feel like a failure because they cannot manage the strict routine? Its just another thing to punish yourself for.

foxybrown · 03/10/2007 13:57

ouch! just fell off my high-horse...

What I meant to say was Well Done Ria and Mr Ria, sounds like a result. How is DS doing back at school this week?

Daisy, I only lost a pound in 2 weeks, but keep going. It was probably just that shitty week you had catching up. Shall we try to get back on track? And do you know where the June Mummies Want Flat Tummies thread is, I can't find it!

trendaverter · 03/10/2007 13:57

Agree Foxy - programmes like this are dangerous for new mums who may be in the throes of desperation and will do anything for a nights' sleep...

Hopefully in that instance it will be seen as an experiment and a TV show rather than a solution. Hopefully!!

daisyandbabybootoo · 03/10/2007 14:05

It worked then didn't it?

I think what irks people isn't the fact that it is a different method at one end of the parenting spectrum and as such is an acceptable parenting method, it's that she thinks babies are manipulative little sods only out to twist parents round their little fingers and should be ignored at best, and barely tolerated at the very least. Yes she gets them into a routine, but at what cost.

They stop crying not because their need (cold/hot/wet/dirty/lonely) has been attended to but because they have realised that no-one will come. That is verging on neglect IMVHO.

No one is suggesting that the continuum concept is the way forward....I don't co-sleep, use a sling or have DD with me 24/7 either and I think "each to their own" when it comes to parenting choices, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I firmly believe that what she is purporting will delay or damage the emotional development of the children involved. (how do they learn to smile if no-one ever smiles at them?)

faylisa · 03/10/2007 14:07

(faylisa pops in for a chat and ducks back out again as it all seems to be getting very heated)

trendaverter · 03/10/2007 14:16

trendaverter has gone off looking for Faylisa as she fell off the fence but wants to hide with a cup of tea now>>

bumperlicious · 03/10/2007 14:16

i agree ta that you should do what you think best and that bit of each method make sense and some don't (i can't co-seep either and like to be able to pee and eat without a baby clinging to me when i can) but what daisy said about why they stop crying is true and depriving a newborn of cuddles and affection is just wrong. that's what gets me about CV's method.

letting a baby cry for a bit so you get to eat or shower, or not making eye contact at night when you don't want them to play is different. i know what they are showing is extreme but CV is real person promoting these methods to real mothers!

isn't it nice not talking about poo or vomit for a change

bumperlicious · 03/10/2007 14:18

here foxy

daisyandbabybootoo · 03/10/2007 14:18
loonylovegood · 03/10/2007 14:18

Lalalalala...

Love you all x

PS Great news Ria!!

bumperlicious · 03/10/2007 14:18

oi ta, make me a cup will ya? i'm pinned to the sofa again!

faylisa · 03/10/2007 14:21

pssst TA, I'm over here. See if you can nab some of daisy's cake on the way.

riabutterflew · 03/10/2007 14:23

ds1 is ok thanks foxy. saw the school nurse with him today, think it was a waste of time. DH went to see his teacher the other day though and they are doing dyslexia tests (teacher has had concerns but apparently it is a taboo with some parents so I don't think they do anything unless there are other problems too), but he said ds1 is intelligent and a pleasure to teach - dh nearly cried! The bullying is actually worse than we thought - they say ds1 is "gay" and keep trying to get him and his friend to kiss amongst other things! but that is going to be dealt with & ds1 has been given "strategies". at least we are one step ahead of the school this time though

daisyandbabybootoo · 03/10/2007 14:23

LOL holly....but 'tis not an argument....'tis a reasoned debate.

how is her feeding now bumper?

babyboo has started to be very wriggly about the whole thing and I must say she seems more comfy lying on her side in a disposable rather than a cloth nappy.

I'm off to wake her for a feed before the school run or she'll only kick off in the playground!

trendaverter · 03/10/2007 14:24

tea and cakes coming.
And snickers flapjacks. A guy I work with is eating one. Jammy bugger.

daisyandbabybootoo · 03/10/2007 14:24

the cake was for sharing

trendaverter · 03/10/2007 14:25

no, no arguments, just chatting. I think we all agree with each other tbh, just have different ways of saying it. And let's face it, we are new mums, raising children is going to be a topic close to our hearts at the moment hey.