Baby's after loss the penguin huddle continues

[Bluebelltulip]

This thread is for people who have had a baby following a loss(es) at any stage. This thread forms the third part of the penguin huddle which includes TTC after loss and pregnancy after loss but people that haven't used those threads are still welcome.

@Beaglemum93
@Yukka
@Melpops36
@Knitkitty
@Squiff70
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue
@FrillyFarmer

Really glad it went well with MW @Bluebelltulip.
I saw about DD2's anniversary on the other thread. Sending you huge hugs. Do try to take some time for yourself if you can. Are you doing anything more mark the dates?

As you will see on other post, Baby Girl's blood test results have come back completely normal (phew!)
As for me.. Tests are still ongoing. Radioactive scan tomorrow so I won't be able to breastfeed for 12 hours after that.
Depending on the treatment options for the pulminary embolism I may have to give up breastfeeding altogether and I'm feeling emotional about that.

@Knitkitty I hope your scan goes well. Remember that the most important thing is your and your baby's health, if it means stopping breastfeeding then don't feel guilty as you need to treatment.

I want to do something but not sure what I feel up to doing. I bought DD1's birthday card yesterday and cried as I didn't need one for DD2 but have now decided that I'm getting her one as well and going to write a message to her in it.

Thank you @Bluebelltulip.

I'm glad you're getting DD2 a card, I think that's a lovely idea.

Hey @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue been thinking of you and wondering how things are going for you and your little one. x

Place marking - I haven't been getting notifications for these tags for some reason but I can see you kept me in, thank you!

I'll catch up now xx

Hi everyone,
Glad to be joining you here! We are just finishinf Day 4 now and doing pretty well. The Birth Centre kept us in for two nights as despite a fairly straightforward birth I lost a fair amount of blood and they wanted to keep an eye on me. We were discharged yesterday (Monday) and are happy to be home but finding that Eli isn’t a huge fan of settling in the cot (he slept well in the cot at the hospital but assuming he was just too exhausted to protest!) Last night was rough so tonight we are trying to alternate two hour napping shifts (for us, not him!) starting early and then will make a few attempts to settle him in the cot and see if we can get some chunks of sleep in at the same time.

I had a few wobbles this afternoon as he hasn’t had as many wet nappies today as expected but trying to remind myself that all the numbers are just guidelines and each baby is a little different. I can see how it’s going to be a constant battle to remind ourselves that we are all just doing our best!!

Looking forward to hearing more about how you are all getting on with your little ones.

Hi all.

Sorry for disappearing. It’s been a long and hard few weeks.

Little Brother lost 13.7% of his birth weight so we were readmitted to SCBU. Was scary in there and as I didn’t know what was going on I panicked even more. The good news is all tests were fine - just seemed that Little Brother was inefficient at feeding. My milk had come in and I could express, so supply was there, just he wasn’t getting enough.

So I hired a lactation consultant who revealed he had a tongue tie and lip tie. We had these laser cut privately and have also had a couple of cranial osteopath sessions to help the new muscles and get rid of tension in his jaw. I’ve also been working on his latch which is still a bit dodgy but hopefully getting better (with DD I remember it took until about six weeks before it didn’t hurt! He doesn’t hurt, just gets tired and falls off)

I was on a feeding schedule of breastfeed, top up, and express every three hours which has been exhausting. I’ve been so determined to breastfeed again so I’ve kept up the expressing which is what has been so hard.

However, I've begun to do away with top ups in the past few days and Little Brother is gaining enough. In fact we were signed off yesterday and no longer need to be weighed every three days - been told once a month! However, I have scales at home so am weighing every two days. This has really knocked my confidence as I thought he was doing fine so I'm still worrying and want to keep an eye on him.

Not anti-formula by any stretch, but I loved breastfeeding my DD and I can’t be arsed with bottles and sterilising... so hopefully soon I can do away with altogether. Definitely not giving up yet, we've come this far! 💪🏻

Aside from that DD has been a dream and loves her little brother so much! I’ve been out and about to loads of appointments so am loving my new sling and have also got over the hurdle of breastfeeding in public. Booked a baby massage course for next month and been enjoying baby cinema on Tuesday afternoons. Have yet to brave taking both DD and Little Brother our together! 😳

Will try and catch up and respond with a less self involved message soon!!

Glad you have found us @yukka.

@Coconutlatte44 we worry about everything don't we, how has he been today? Hope he settles in his cot soon.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue happy to hear little brother is now gaining well and top ups are reducing. Good luck when you do your first solo trip with both, I've done a couple which have gone well. I'm on my first solo day today but DD was at nursery this morning so an easier day to start with.

I'm seeing some improvements in DS now I've been dairy free for nearly 2 weeks now so hoping that his symptoms will continue to get better.

Wow @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue what a bloody hard time you've had. But I get the wanting to breastfeed thing. My little boy didn't latch for 48 hours last time, but I was determined to breastfeed and will again. I think there's so many benefits. The peace and quiet and binding time while baby feeds, the antibodies etc and the fact you don't have to prepare bottles or buy formula. Seems like you're doing fine though, and hopefully after you've weighed him a few times you can be more confident he's putting on weight.
I can't believe you had to hire a lactation consuktant to work out he had lip tie and tongue tie though, that's shitty. My midwife told me as soon as my boy was born that he had tongue tie, we got it snipped at 6 days old, but it didn't actually affect feeding. I was still glad to get it done anyway.

Bonding!

Not to mention breastfeeding makes you and baby happy. What hormone is it that is released?

How is everyone doing?

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. This week is my first full week of having both DC on my own. DS is showing some improvements with me being milk free but still sick quite a lot, it takes time so should improve more. I'm worried about how I'm going to do everything DD needs me to do when DS is sick most times he is put down. I'm also feeling emotional from DD2's birthday a few days ago.

Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed @Bluebelltulip. How are you getting on with your DH being back at work? Sorry your DS is still being sick a lot, I hope you see some more improvement soon.

My DS is now 7 weeks and has gained 4lbs since birth which is crazy! His reflux is improving with age but isn't fully resolved yet - it is much better though.

@Beaglemum93 thank you. Wow your DS is gaining well, glad the reflux is improving, hope it continues that way.
Going well so far thanks I think DD is appreciating a bit of normality and time with me.

I've done the nursery run and trips to the shops @Bluebelltulip but not a "proper outting", like soft play or something. Wish the weather was better and we could just hang out in the park!

I know @Rubyroost. My hospital didn't care about why he'd lost weight and just pushed formula, even trying to tell me I wasn't making milk! They had no breastfeeding help until the Thursday (it was Saturday) and so I hired my own IBCLC. Luckily I have experience of BF and know it's very rare for a woman to not make enough milk. I also know about tongue tie and where to find a lactation consultant. And I have the money to spend on this stuff if needed! If I were a first time mum or didn't have the money I'd have probably just gone along with them and given up on BF. It makes me sad and annoyed - BF is HARD and doesn't always come naturally and It's so sad that there isn't the funding and Support that women need. No wonder so many of us struggle and even more don't continue.

Anyway, we've had no top ups for the past four or five days and Little Brother has gained enough! Had him weighed today and he has gained 230g in a week which is apparently just above average minimum gain (110-200 grams per week) He’s now 10lb 4oz which doesn’t sound much compared to his birth weight of 9lb 4oz, but he went down to 7lb something!! Been told to continue as we are! So it looks like exclusive breastfeeding is back on track!

Pleased to hear your DS is doing so well @Beaglemum93. Can't believe he is 7 weeks already!

How are you feeling @Bluebelltulip? I can't believe I ever thought it was hard with one (don't mean that in a nasty way to all the first time mums, it IS BLOODY HARD!) Two is a whole new level of stress 😂 How is your DD finding her little brother?

Congratulations @coconutlatte44!

How are you all getting on @knitkitty @Yukka and @Laney79???

Excellent to hear @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue glad youre well on track now. Your hospital seems in the bloody dark ages. I've spoken to so many women in their early 50s who have said they had to give up b feeding as they weren't making milk. Wasn't that what people were told back then? Of course there are some women who don't, but you're right it's not common. At the hospital I'm at (and it's really not the best) there were b feeding peer supporters available most days. I think at the weekend it may have just been mornings, but most of the midwives tried to help with latch etc. Then I also had one visit me at home the next morning after I got out of hospital. The support really does differ across the country and probably makes a lot of difference for many women. Though I'm not sure it would have for me, I was absolutely determined I was going to b feed and although very emotional it was worth waiting 48 hours for him to latch.

Although to be fair if I hadn't had the midwives telling me everything was okay with the amount of colostrum he was getting I may have panicked earlier and broke out the formula

@RubyRoost and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I agree the support for breastfeeding can be woeful. I was lucky that there was a specialist available when DD1 lost too much weight and also that there is a good support group near me. This time all I got was the occasional person question how it was going in hospital and that was it.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue well done! That's great I hope breastfeeding continues to go well. I was pondering going to the park earlier but didn't go in the end. Most of the time DD ignores DS and is very emotional. She likes to introduce him to people though.

Hi everyone.

Sorry for the absence-but as you guys know life is crazy with a newborn!

Little man is doing well. Poor sausage has a colic prob we think so currently trying colief and infacol to try and help him as well as Dr Browns bottles. He's currently spark out on my shoulder. Sleeping wise he's doing well-waking twice at night for feeds. We're combi feeding as boob juice wasn't flowing as much as he needed, I suspect that's not helping with the wind problem.

He was officially registered last week, and we have our gp check on Wednesday-a bit early as we'll only be 5 weeks since birth but hey!

My fella is back at work on Tuesday-I'm v nervous about flying solo! Thankfully I'm well on the road recovery wise after the c section but still bring alone all day is a scary thought!

Hope everyone is well x

Glad he's doing well @Laney79 hope the colic eases soon. I still need to book DS's six week check but seeing GP tomorrow for his suspected milk allergy. Good luck on your own, you will gain confidence once you are doing it.

2 weeks into a completely milk free diet for me and seeing some improvements in DS but can take 6 weeks for his digestive system to recover. GP appointment tomorrow to check on him.

@Laney79 I b fed and my boy had wind. He would cry from about 11 til 2.30 and the only thing that would stop him was to stand up and rock him which was a nightmare at that time in the morn. My boyfriend did a lot of that. Around 2.30pm he used to let off a big farty pooh and then I'd get a bit of sleep. It was most severe over two weeks and I thought I had this nightmare baby. It did get a lot better, the way I see it is that babies have immature digestive systems and it's a normal part of being a newborn. We tried the meds and they seemed to work sometimes and then not at all. I think I concluded none of it really worked in the end and it was time that helped.
It really can be hard in the early days, but time will imprive things.

Hi all! 👋🏻

I have a windy baby this time around! He is now EBF and can often be a bit grumpy after a feed until he has let out a huge burp or fart. Must be a male thing as don't recall this with my DD 😜 Anyway, Little Brother is definitely more grisly - it can be quite frustrating but hey he's only five weeks old (tomorrow!) and I'm hoping it is just part of this newborn phase and he will grow out of it as his system matures.

If you are worried about your milk supply @Laney79 then feeding more at night will help. Prolactin levels are higher at night which is why babies tend to want to nurse more. This then helps the supply/demand cycle which aids supply. But then sleep is also invaluable so if you prefer the longer stretches then enjoy some shut eye for me! My little man is bang on every two hours at night and it's a killer!

Speaking of which, I had a horrendous night last night, largely due to DD waking four times (it never ends even when they are three!!) and I'm off to bed with Little Brother now!

Did you have a better night last night? @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue.

DS has now been officially diagnosed with Cows milk protein allergy. He's gaining weight well though.

What does that mean for you @Bluebelltulip? Do you have to cut out dairy? Can I ask what the signs/symptoms are? Excuse me for being thick but how do you differentiate?

Sleep is crap my end. Hoping my DD will sleep better tonight after a day at nursery - hopefully she is worn out!

How is everyone else doing?

Yes I have had to cut out dairy completely and will need to stay that way while breastfeeding, won't be introducing DS to it until he's a year old. His symptoms were being sick, screaming in pain 30 min after a feed, green mucusy poo and pooing fairly constantly, symptoms can vary though.

Fingers crossed nursery has worn your DD out.