Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@MrsEG, great news about their weight and it's such a relief when you can stop timing the feeding!! I'm so glad you're getting support xx Lovely pics of the boys... We have the same bear cushion I think 😀

@Fivebyfive2 Date night was great thank you, we had a ban on baby talk but of course were talking about Daisy within about ten minutes :) just so nice to get out without baby and tonnes of paraphernalia ☺️ Well done for getting braver with feeding out and about. How did Joe's weigh in go?

@Gembopx Congrats on your baby boy!

@purplefig M is scrummy, congrats x

@MrsEG Yay for the boys putting on weight! And well done for admitting you're finding things hard. Use this miserable weather as a good excuse to just cosy up in jimjams and get to know your boys. I felt like I had to get out and about to prove I was okay but actually those early days after paternity finished of just us two at home were great. It really helped me get into a rhythm of changing/feeding/soothing/doing tonnes of baby laundry before adding in the stress of mastering the pram or car seat or packing the changing bag :)

@Fivebyfive2 thank you for all the advice! Currently binging love is blind on Netflix - pure trash 👌🏼 I don't mind about sleep, it's just good to know roughly what's coming!

@MrsR16 10pm to 5am is dreamy!! Ahh thank you! Birth was tough but ended incredibly- to cut a long story short she was OP which nobody had picked on, so her head wasn't putting enough pressure on and I was stuck at 3cm with unbearable back contractions every 10 minutes for three nights and days. I went into Hospital three times, but they wouldn't admit me or give me proper pain relief as it wasn't "established". Finally my waters went and I was able to go in as things ramped up, she was born in the water using gas and air, which was just an incredible euphoric experience I'll never forget. I was utterly shattered afterwards though, as hadn't slept in 3 days!! I'd definitely opt for a home birth next time if I can, communicating with the hospital and travelling there was by far and away the most stressful aspect.

@MrsEG gosh they're so scrummy! Hugely positively you've picked up on signs of PND so early on and are on track to get some support. Having a newborn is overwhelming, I cannot imagine having two - you're doing an incredible job 💕. I went to a breastfeeding support group to check latch and they said it looks good, plus she's doing about 5 poos a day 😳 so I'm pretty sure she's getting enough. I've got the five day check tomorrow so can always ask midwife.

@TrashKitten10 aww thank you. I cannot stop staring at her and sniffing her!! 🥰 your date night sounds lovely!

@purplefig just gonna have a catch up but your labour sounds a lot like mine! Freddie was laid back to back and with his head to the side so not putting the pressure on it was agony! My waters had broken slightly early so we had to go to labour ward after 24 hours anyway and he needed a bit of assistance to come out. Congrats she is wonderful 🙂

@MrsEG glad the boys have put weight on they look as gorgeous as ever 🙂

@Gembopx Congratulations! Great to see you here

@purplefig congratulations! The start of your labour sounds very much like mine - I had 3 days of horrendous back contractions varying between 10 and 3 minutes apart before I basically broke down in the middle of the night and DH took me to hospital and insisted they help me. I'd seen the midwife the afternoon before and was basically told that they wouldn't do anything. I hadn't slept for days and I couldn't sit or lie down cos the back contractions were unbearable if there was any pressure on my back so I'd been standing or kneeling for what felt like a lifetime. It was pretty traumatic tbh.

@thumper59 @stormtrooperjulian sorry to hear you guys had similar long back to back labours too. What were they able to do for you when your husband insisted stormtrooperjulian? I went in three times and was sent away with one dose of oral pain relief and advice to come back when in established labour. Super helpful!

In another fun twist I developed severe mastitis and have been in hospital on iv antibiotics since Wednesday. Not the start to motherhood I had envisioned. Baby is doing really well thankfully, and I'm improving but it's been pretty shit tbh.

@purplefig, I hope you're out of hospital and feeling better soon! Are they looking after you? Xx

Joe seems better with his wind now he's on infacol and sma comfort milk when he does have a bottle to give my boobs a break. But his farts are sooo stinky! He's been having poonamis every 2ish days, it's like being part of a crime scene clean up team 😂

How's everyone doing?

Here are pics of Joe on Wembley day, because he looks cute 😍

Morning ladies, thanks for the support as always! I am coping a little better - I think the sleep deprivation is playing an enormous part in my low mood so I’ve been calling on helpers to come and watch the twins so I can get some naps in. Game changer.

DH has taken the boys out with him this morning, just in to his gym for an hour to give me a break but I hate it. It’s weird, I so often want an hour to myself but I can’t stand them not being near me!! Think I’m gonna go and run a bath though, and do some washing and they’ll be home before I know it!

Having a funny old week too as my sister called me in bits and essentially she’s 7 weeks pregnant but had a big bleed. The EPU can’t scan her til tomorrow so we’re all a bit in limbo at the moment, hoping so badly all is okay though.

@TrashKitten10 Glad you enjoyed your date night! Yep you’re right - there’s a lot of pressure I find on ‘making the most of’ mat leave but surviving a full day at home is just as good! I did manage to get out twice this week though - once for coffee with DH and then for lunch with the girls yesterday. By some miracle the boys slept through both occasions :)

@purplefig Oh gosh I hope you’re okay? Are you looking to be discharged any time soon? Have you got baby in with you?

@Fivebyfive2 That’s fab that he’s doing so much better! I didn’t even know there was comfort milk! I’m still not sure what’s up with the twins - I question wind more and more as they do plenty of burps and farts mid-feeds! Sometimes I think they just like to scream during the night 🙃

@Fivebyfive2 thanks - cute football outfit!

@MrsEG glad you're doing better, think you're right in that sleep deprivation makes everything so much harder. Sounds like you're doing amazing get out and about and getting help when you need it. I've got everything crossed for your sister.

It looks like I'm finally getting out today! Luckily I've had the baby and DH with me the whole time, but being stuck in hospital with a drip in has been really rough. Between that and the long, exhausting labour I'm feeling pretty done in. Going to my mums tonight so DH can go home and sleep as he's not slept in days. Then hoping we can have a nicer week next week.

@MrsEG, enjoy your bath!! Sounds like you're doing amazing with getting out to be honest 😀 I'll be thinking of your sis today xxx

Could they be fighting sleep, or are they too young for that yet? Unless Joe feeds himself to sleep on a boob he can really fight it, we need to rock and sing to him to get him down properly! And even when his wind is better, some nights it's like sleeping with barnyard animals with his noises 😂

@purplefig, yay to being discharged!! I bet your mum will love having you tonight; I stayed with my parents for a few nights a couple of weeks ago, it was fab. Dh got some sleep and joe and I got weighted on 🙂

@purplefig Really hope you’ve managed to get out. Being stuck in the hospital is horrible, there is honestly nothing worse. Hope you’ve managed to get a little rest in there - that was always the worst part for me, it’s so bright and noisy. Have a good night at your mums - here’s hoping she’ll be up for some night feed assistance!

@Fivebyfive2 I honestly don’t know - take today for example, we went to my parents for a family lunch and my sister and mum fed them their bottles - no fuss, sound asleep after them. We’ve just done and evening feed at home and they’ve screeched all the way through. Sometimes I think they just like to test their parents...! I have the HV round on Tuesday so I’m gonna ask about it; I wonder if sometimes they get a bit colic-y? But it’s a totally wild guess. These babies should have come with a manual!

@MrsEG, agreed about the manual!

Ladies xi have to say I'm really struggling recently! Joe is coming up to 12 weeks (8 weeks corrected) and is still having many a night where he wakes every hour for a feed! Plus in between he is grunting and fidgeting, to the point where I'm never sure he's even properly asleep?! Between this and him fighting naps in the day, so I need to rock him etc while he cries before conking out, I'm just exhausted with it all ☹️ We have nights where he does 3 to 4 hours of peaceful sleep, but it's so random I can't see a pattern.

To top it off I've been feeling ill this weekend, temperature, headache, sore throat etc... Dh is genuinely worried I have coronavirus, I've had to tell him to chill the F out because it's almost certainly just a cold!

@Fivebyfive2 Oh you poor thing. Could you get to your GP? I was feeling wretched recently and had a high temp and I had a kidney infection - the lack of sleep and properly looking after yourself can really take it’s toll on the body!
Sleep wise, I really feel for you. Could he be having a bit of a growth spurt?

I’m feeling a bit pants this morning. Monday is DH busiest day with work so he’s gone from 5; just done my first double feed solo and I just hate it. Feeding two hungry babies at once on your own is so so hard. We’ve tried and failed at tandem feeding so I just have to do one at a time while the other screams :( it just means I am willing the feeder to drink as fast as he can so I can put him down and grab the other - they both usually scream the whole time either with hunger or wind as I’ve rushed burping. I just feel like I’m being totally robbed of the lovely feeding bonding experience. Literally all I can think right now is that I have to do it all again in like 2 hours and I’m dreading it. Sorry for the moan I’ve just found it all getting on top of me this morning. DH will be at work til 9pm :(

@MrsEG, that sounds impossibly hard!! Sorry if this is a really stupid suggestion, but any way you could try to amend one twins feed time, by say 20/30 mins over time? Then maybe you could sort one out and the 2nd won't need it until a little later? Although I guess that would mean you'd spend longer overall sorting them ☹️

Or have you got a chair or something to put one in we while he 'waits his turn'? Joe can sometimes be OK for a bit in a swingy/rocker/vibrating chair while waiting for either a bottle or for me to have a poo before I feed him! You can get ones suitable from birth and some 2nd hand bargains. Again, sorry if you've already thought of this, will try to think of alternatives! Xxx

@MrsEG Moan away, it sounds really tough trying to manage all that on your own. Daisy's screaming raises my stress levels so much, I can imagine how rubbish it feels having them both screaming but not having enough hands to get everybody sorted :( what was it about tandem feeding that didn't work for you? Might it be something that clicks as they get a little older? Are the boys able to be distracted at all whilst waiting to be fed? I know it's an absolute parenting cop out but Daisy is obsessed with the tv and she will go from whingy and whiny to transfixed if she ever catches sight of it (generally when daddy is left looking after her and wants to watch football 🤔) Im not saying stick babies in front of TVs for hours on end but if it could distract them for a few minutes whilst their brother is being fed it might be better than everyone getting stressed and upset. Also have you ever heard of home start? They're a charity who provide volunteers to visit families who are struggling for whatever reason and do whatever little jobs need doing to make things easier. You sound like you've got fab family support but if there were particular times that you've got nobody to help it could be worth seeing if they could pop in for a few hours and give you a hand https://www.home-start.org.uk/twins-triplets-and-many-children

@Fivebyfive2 That sounds really hard going. I'm not sure if I've asked already but would Joe take a dummy? Could some of his wakings perhaps be for comfort rather than through hunger? You sound very run down, unsurprising, that's a lot of weeks of no sleep you've had.

@purplefig Hope you're recovering well at home and things are going more smoothly

This weekend we booked our first family holiday ☺️ Just a midweek trip to Center Parcs for a few weeks time but I can't wait! Dreading trying to pack everything though, it's incredible how much stuff babies need haha.

@trashkitten10, you'll need to do car tetris to get everything in 😂 But it sounds fab, I bet you have a great time!

We've not tried a dummy yet but I am tempted. Silly question, but could him having a dummy mean I miss feeding cues in the night? Or will he spit it out to yell out if he's genuinely hungry?

Well I put him on the duvet for 2 secs while I got my pj's on and he's decided it's the perfect place to actually sleep?! My little weirdo 😕

@Fivebyfive2 Haha we will! Daisy will probably have her full wardrobe and DH and I will have to accept whatever room is left for our bits ☺️

I think dummies are a bit of a marmite subject and I have read about them masking hunger cues but my feeling is that a hungry baby will let you know about it. If Daisy is tossing and turning and being noisy but has her eyes closed and just seems restless I offer the dummy. If she fully wakes, cries or spits the dummy out I feed. From a quick google an 8 week old may be able to manage up to 6 hours without a feed so as long as Joe isn't going much beyond that with a dummy and is feeding well in the day and gaining weight I wouldn't worry. But 6 hours sleep would be very optimistic anyway IMO ☺️

And he looks so comfy on the duvet bless him. Love that baby grow also. It's typical that when you want them to sleep they fight it and when you don't try they sleep like logs. Daisy will always fall asleep 20 minutes before we need to leave the house, it's a rule. I could have been fighting her over nap time all day but as soon as we need to get ready she is suddenly overcome with tiredness 🤔

@Fivebyfive2 ahh it's been amazing. Being a mum makes me appreciate my mum even more! Sorry to hear your struggling with hourly feeds, that is tough going. You've probably tried this, but swaddling has made such a difference with M. Shes such a wriggler she wakes herself up, but in a swaddle she's soothed and seems to get way better sleep. We also use a dummy and it just helps soothe her, but she'd soon spit it out in protest if it was boob she was after - so like everything, it probably depends on the baby, but it hasn't meant I've missed her feeding cues. Everything is harder when you've got a cold too - I hope you feel better soon lovely. Lots of rest and lemsip! also, those pjs are utterly adorable!!

@MrsEG we got out yesterday and I feel so much brighter! I'm so grateful for the nhs and for the incredible power of iv antibiotics, but being in hospital is so tough. Mum slept in with us and literally did everything including handing her to me to feed 😭❤️ ended up getting so much sleep! Sorry to hear the double feeds are taking their toll, they sound really challenging. I have to feed off of my mastitis side pretty regularly and it's so sore, I totally sympathise with your feeling of pre feed dread! Is it something you could speak to to your twin mum friends about? Big hugs lovely.

@TrashKitten10 thanks - at my mums and feeling so much better! My boob is still sore, but definitely on the mend. Ooo I love a centre parcs break - perfect for a baby friendly break. When do you go?

Having a way better day today. Loads of support from my mum and we had the midwife out for the 10 day check and baby M is weighing over her birth weight. I'm pretty chuffed with that considering what we've been through these last five days! x

@purplefig they gave me two doses of pethedine, which allowed me to lie down and get some sleep between contractions for an hour each time. I really needed it, I wasn't coping any more, which isnt all that surprising really after having had no sleep for so many days.

@MrsEG glad you're coping better now! Sleep deprivation has such a big impact on a person, I'm glad you have some support around so you can nap. Could your DH take a couple of weeks off work to give you some extra support? Things will get easier soon as the boys get bigger and start going longer between feeds etc.... I think it was around 8 weeks where I saw a big difference.

@stormtrooperjulian how dilated were you at that stage Out of interest? Despite my regular, intense contractions I spent 3 days at 3cm and they wouldn't give me anything as they said it wasn't established labour. If I hadn't of had such an incredible delivery I think I'd have been left feeling pretty traumatised too.

@purplefig @stormtrooperjulian Interesting hearing about your back to back babies. Daisy was back to back and I had 48 hours of pessaries and gel for my induction and my cervix didn't make any progress at all. Despite that I had awful backache, I was in tears trying to stay still to be monitored and ended up using my TENS machine after I was sick from the pain in my back. At the time it was super demoralising and I felt like a massive wimp as I was in pain even though nothing was happening but maybe my body was trying to do something but baby just wasn't putting any pressure on my cervix to dilate. My c-section was lovely but the failure part of 'failure to progress' does stick in the mind so it's interesting to reflect

@purplefig I was at 3cm and hadn't made any progress in days

@TrashKitten10 mine was also 'failure to progress'. Back labour is known to often be a lot more painful and take a lot longer than standard labour. Dex also wasn't pressing onto my cervix which is why I wasn't progressing. I never made it past 6cm as far as I know.