Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@ELW85 oh wow, look at Finn! So beautiful 😍 I'm still not sure I know what "normal" is haha especially with the whole lockdown thing - DH is working from home, which is wonderful but I'm now petrified about him going back to work 😂 as @Fivebyfive2 said, I definitely had a few "oh my god, what have we done?" Moments when Ethan was littler. To be fair, I still have those moments every now and again when the screaming doesn't stop! Although it's much better now he's napping ok during the day.

@purplefig aw, poor M! It does get better... the second lot aren't anywhere near as bad! I use one that my sister sent over from the States - it's a Halo one. Ethan's only managed to get his arms out of it recently as he's got super strong and can undo the Velcro haha

@MrsEG definite turning point at 12 weeks! End of the fourth trimester, bub's more used to the world and generally much happier! Although then leap 4 hits and it's bloody horrible 😂

@thumper59 That’s great news haha you’ve made my day! I’ve tried a few variations to tandem feed the twins and it always ends in tears!! All I can think is ‘if you could just feed yourselves this would be a whole lot easier!’ 5 months - where on Earth is all the time going?! Do you have any return to work plans? I feel like mine are so up in the air now with the pandemic still going on.

@Fivebyfive2 Oh no! I’m really dreading the sleep regression. I try and hope that getting them in to their routine may help, but who am I kidding haha. Knowing my luck it’ll kick in just as DH is able to go back to work as well!

@MrsR16 Oh god these leaps haha! My sister did say that just as you get over one hill another issue appears haha! She’s in the process of potty training her daughter at the moment and some of the stories, my god. Let’s just say she’s been peed on, a lot!!

Hope everyone is doing okay. I woke up a bit angry with the world today; the pandemic is taking its toll on me. DH is self employed and out of work and currently has had not one penny from the government. We have savings but never dreamt we’d be using so much of them so soon, it was only supposed to top me up while on mat leave. I feel very cheated out of what’s supposed to be such a wonderful time, instead it’s just so full of anxiety and isolation and I just woke up this morning feeling like I’d just had enough of it.
On the plus side though the boys had their best night ever, 7:30-6:30 with no wake ups. So that’s my quick win for the day at least x

@ELW85 Am I right in thinking you mentioned you had quite a rough time of it giving birth too? I think that, along with an extra hospital stay, all the newborn craziness and baby blues and then bloody lockdown, would take it's toll on the most mentally resilient of people. Honestly what you're describing all sounds totally normal, which I know doesn't make it better but at least should reassure you you aren't losing your mind! Glad to hear you're feeling brighter already and I'd echo what everyone else says - it does get easier and more enjoyable as they get older. Not that aren't other issues then (I am DREADING the four month sleep regression), but I can't imagine they'll compare to the complete overwhelm that is coming home with a newborn.

@Fivebyfive2 I'm a sucker for a game changer so I have ordered! Thanks for the rec - fingers crossed our master escape artist can't wriggle her way out of this bad boy. Yes it was her first set of imms and they took me completely by surprise to be honest, she's generally quite a chilled out baby so I'd naively thought she'd breeze through them. Ahh parenting, always teaching you something isn't it?! FWIW I think you're totally allowed to feel annoyed with DH for that - it really grinds my gears when my DH suggests that because it reminds me that feeding is 10000% all on me. And like you say, there are other ways to comfort them. Mind you, isn't it just pure joy when they are having a bit of a meltdown (e.g. M with her imms) and you can comfort feed them and it soothes then? Did you get a Chinese takeaway? It's my birthday coming up and we haven't had a takeaway since lockdown, so I'm toying with getting a Thai.

@MrsEG Ooo you're making me so excited for 12 weeks - that sounds lovely! M has actually just been awake for nearly 2 hours which is the longest she's gone since we've been better at noticing her tiredness cues. It was so lovely as she was in a gorgeous mood the whole time and we actually 'played'. She's started laughing now and it is just the most wholesome sound in the world! We've tried her in cellular blankets and she always wriggles free...could be our technique but I've tried so many on youtube etc. We had her in a grobag last night but ended up swapping to swaddling mid way through the night. Joy of joys. Just seen your latest reply - that is an incredible stretch of sleep, what excellent babies . Do you feel well rested?!?!?! I hear you on the feeling pissed off with the world thing. I go through phases of acceptance and just getting on with it and then about once a week or so I feel utter rage at the situation. I think it's normal?! We've got to process it somehow. Sorry to hear the government haven't sorted out DH's income yet, it must be so stressful using your savings when they were only supposed to be a top up. I hope the situation gets resolved soon.

@MrsR16 thanks, I hope the 2nd lot aren't as bad. Already dreading them! Ooo I've heard good things about the Halo one, glad it worked well for Ethan...until his biceps got to work

Happy new week in lockdown everyone! How're we all doing? We had a pretty rubbish night of sleep last night...though I'm not sure what's normal for this age? It seems to vary so much with some babies sleeping through and others up every two hours. M is somehwere in the middle - normally up twice for food. But last night she had a random meltdown at 3am which was new! Let's hope that's not her latest trick...!

@MrsEG, sorry to hear you're feeling the rage today, glad you at least had a good night with the boys sleeping though xx I know what you mean, it's tough. I miss seeing my parents and brother and sis in law so much! It doesn't help that my in laws are visiting relatives and having dh's brother and sis over regularly, it's infuriating!!! We've made it clear we won't be seeing them until lockdown is lifted.

@purplefig, I hope you like the sleeping bag! Honestly, the 2nd jabs aren't nearly as bad. And by the 3rd, you'll feel much more prepared. With sleep, I just decided to roll with it, take the good nights and just grit your teeth through the bad ones!

Spoke to the Dr, but as Joe's eyes are better today, we're gonna just keep cleaning them and see how they are tomorrow.

Ladies, opinions please! I've breastfed for 4 and a half months now. He only has a bottle occasionally. I was going to try putting him on bottles at 6 months, thinking I'd have had enough of feeding and that it'd be easier for being out and about when he was bigger. But... By 6 months in June, we probably won't be out and about that much and honestly with feeding going well, I'm wondering if it would be easier to just carry on feeding him myself while introducing food etc. I feel caught in the middle with feeding... Most support groups are full of mums who, though lovely, are pretty hardcore about long term feeding. And I don't know anyone in real life who breastfed for more than a few weeks and they're all saying 6 months is more than enough and he needs to be used to bottles / I'll make him too clingy by carrying on. It's so confusing!! Opinions?? Xx

@mrsEG. I follow a lady on insta who has triplets and she uses rolled up Muslins to steady their bottles I don't know if that would work? Well I've never really been off, I work for family so have worked from home since he was pretty much born, then the lady who was covering me left in January so I was in a bit, then I was training up the new employee in March, then this happened! We was meant to be going on hols next Saturday, and I was going to go back when we got back from there but now I don't know, because I don't have child care and I'm not sure what will be happening with nurseries. My MIL works in school so I'm lucky she will be able to have him in what would be 6 week hols but I just really don't know this has really thrown it all to pot for us too! X

@purplefig to be honest Ruairí can sometimes wriggle an arm free but I think that’s because he’s so obsessed with sucking his hand - once he has his hand rammed in to his gob he’s happy again! 2 hours awake time is great that’s what the boys are still on! We’re quite settled in a routine of 2 hours awake two hours nap, feed.
I don’t even think there is a one size fits all with sleep for babies - in our NCT group some babies sleep through, some have just one wake up, some are up every 2 hours. I think they all find their own way! The twins first slept through at 8 weeks - my sisters little girl didn’t sleep through the night until she was 17 months old!
(Also, I’m fascinated as to what M might stand for - completely respect your privacy on that but I’m always making up new names for her when I read your posts!)

@Fivebyfive2 So I can come at that from two sides. I did not get on with breastfeeding at all and stopped at 4 weeks, boys have been exclusively on formula since. Pros, yes - they’ll drink from any bottle with no fuss. However my sister is still breastfeeding her 23 month old! Yes - she found it hard. She would tell you to make sure baby will still take a bottle even of expressed milk so you can have a break every now and again. But she’s had no issues with exclusive BF whatsoever. She’s very ready to stop now I think but is waiting for her daughter to hit 2 I think!
Also yes you’ll find feeding support groups can be awful, I did - I received some hideous abuse when asking for advice on combi feeding the boys when they were born.

@thumper59 Oh it’s such a pain isn’t it. I haven’t even looked at nurseries yet and they’re all closed! Ooh rolled up muslins I’ll give it a go!

@Fivebyfive2 Thanks for the words of encouragement for the next set of jabs...here's hoping! I think that's a good approach to sleep - she was only up once in the night last night and omg it's amazing the difference. I feel actually human today! Obviously it's entirely your call regarding whether you carry on breastfeeding or swap to bottles, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with carrying on BFing past 6 months. That's what I plan to do, then phase it out as it suits us both. If you want to get Joe used to a bottle, you could always try expressing? I'm building up a little freezer stash of milk so that DH can feed her occasionally. The other night I had a whole night off and it was total bliss! As for making them clingy, I'm not sure about that. I guess babies do find BFing comforting, but so long as he's not wanting to be constantly on the boob it shouldn't be an issue. It's a shame there isn't a less hardcore support group around / you have friends that BF, as that would probably help. Could you look for an online group? Maybe FB? Though I'm sure that'd attract the hardcore brigade!

@MrsEG ahhh so cute he's sucking on his hand for comfort, clever boy. Are you noticing lots of differences between the boys these days? We used a dummy for a while, but she's suddenly gone off them. Corr these babies like to keep you guessing don't they?! Sounds like a fab routine and pretty similar too ours, except her awake times vary from about 45 mins to 2 hrs. I haven't read the book you recommended (it's not at the library and it's £10 on kindle!!!) but I decided to try and make sure she had a really good feed at each session yesterday, so I ended up feeding her off of both sides at every feed...and she was only up once in the night. Rejoice! Will she do it again tonight?! It's anyone's guess haha! I know M is very mysterious sounding bahahaa, reminds me of the character in James Bond

Ladies - can I get your advice on evening routines? We're pretty much set during the day and we know what we're doing at night, but from when DH finishes work at 5/6ish until our bedtime (10pm at the latest!) all bets are off. She seems less interested in sleep and while she'll happily snooze upstairs in her moses basket in the day, she will very rarely go down in it at night. She's just generally quite unsettled, fussy and cries way more than the rest of the time. What do you guys do? Do you have a set routine? She loves a good bath. x

@purplefig, I was thinking of Judi Dench in Bond too when reading your posts, I love it 😀

So in the evening, we didn't have much routine until about 12 weeks! At first, Dh had him downstairs from about 8pm till almost 1am, giving bottles as required while I slept upstairs, then I'd have him upstairs after that while dh slept downstairs. At about 10 weeks we noticed he was sleeping pretty much all through dh's shift, so we binned the shifts off and started doing evenings together. From 12 weeks, we take Joe up to bed about 6.30/7ish and get him in his sleeping bag, read a story and he has a cuddle / feed then down in his snuzpod about 7 to 7.30ish. Dh goes downstairs to play his game for a bit, I stay upstairs and read, chill out or whatever. We gave up on evening baths pretty quickly ... They were not soothing!! Joe seems to much prefer morning baths, strange child 😂

@purplefig We started a bedtime routine at 8 weeks - am I right thinking M is about that now? Again, nicked it from my sleep book haha. But it’s worked! So, they have an afternoon nap, their last of the day. Once awake they have a bottle and as I mentioned, it’s a meal not a snack! It’s a big feed. If they don’t finish it I take the rest of the bottle up and offer what’s left before they go down. Post bottle they’re up for a bath, fairly cool - 34-35 degrees. Apparently this helps them sleep better than a warmer bath. We then take them in to the nursery as they sleep in their now but take to whatever room they sleep in - make sure the room is dark and only lit by enough light to dry, dress etc. We just have the GroEgg and keep the door slightly a-jar. We don’t talk much at all and keep it really really calm. Dry, nappy, dressed and in to GroBag - offer remnants of bottle if needed. I cannot tell you how relaxed and calm they are at this point! When we first started we sometimes had a bit of whining so again without saying a word/no eye contact (too stimulating) we pick them up and just rock, shush, etc. We put them down sleepy but awake unless the bottle has knocked them out. I then read a bedtime story, turn on the mobile, and leave. They are passed out before I’ve even turned on the monitor downstairs.
It took about a week or so to nail it but it’s worked. We are so consistent with it - exact same time and routine every day. It means if DH is with an online client some nights I do it alone (hell, but I feel like superwoman when I’m done!!) but at this stage now as soon as we are taking them up and running the bath you can see their eyelids starting to go!

Ladies - the twins slept 7:30-7 last night. Not a single wake up, not even a fuss. They were awake at 7 but not crying, very chilled just cooing at each other!
They had their 12-week jabs earlier - big scream when the needles went in but fast asleep since. They were due a feed at 3 so I’m about to wake them just so they’re not going hungry. I reckon we have an afternoon of snuggles ahead!

Sorry - I reply and appear for a bit and come back again and lose exactly where I was - but how is everyone doing?

The boys arw now 10 weeks old and we have just this week started a proper routine - for my sanity and theirs too! I’m hoping it is working today they have slept so well so fingers crossed!

Scrolled back quickly and the boys are about to wake up - but @purplefig we were given these “love to dream” grow bags - so their arms are still tucked in but more movement - we had Zipped swaddles but they were getting too long for the newborn size and the tommee tippee ones we bought seemed so tight and hard to do up!

The boys love them and have been using them for 2 weeks for day naps and about a week for the evenings now - I attached a picture of the grow bags - you can also get ones with detachable sleeves when you want to transition them out of these into normal grow bags ☺️

I also attached a photo of the boys because they just look so cute in all the stripes possible! 😂

They’re so cute @PippaPug - are they ID? How are you getting on with two??

@MrsEG I get angry with the world too... especially all those people who decide that the rules don't apply to them and will go and visit other people! 🤦‍♀️ actually walked past a garden the other day on our daily walk where there were clearly visitors in the front garden who were having a picnic/drinks with the people living in that house! Makes me so cross - they're the reason I'm slowly going nuts and can't go and see my family! They're the reason that Ethan's missing out on lots and lots of cuddles... grr! Anyway, on a happier note, good on the boys for sleeping so well!! And your routine sounds bloody awesome! I hope the boys are doing ok after their jabs...

@purplefig so I think last night was the last night Ethan will be using the swaddle full stop! 😂 we've been swaddling him under his arms still but this morning we woke up to him having undone the Velcro and chewing on one of the wings 🤦‍♀️ haha! We don't have a set routine at night, but Ethan's pretty chill and will tend to be asleep about 19:30 until he has his 22:00 (ish!) bottle and then he'll be down for the night. He gets quite dry skin so we don't bath him every night yet. When he starts moving, then we will, but it's Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and either Saturdays or Sundays for bath nights! We'll then dry him off, moisturise him, get him dressed, bottle, book and bed!

@Fivebyfive2 I am honestly the worst person to ask for breastfeeding advice! Having bottlefed from day 1 (and always planning to) I think you're superwoman for breastfeeding at all! I'm glad Joe's eyes are better - that must be a relief.

@thumper59 I'm starting to stress about going back to work now. I can't work because I can't get Ethan into childcare, but I can't afford to not have any income! Thankfully I've worked out that I've got until September before I need to go back, but that means I need to tell work in July that I'm planning on going back. I really hope we're back in some form of normality in the near future otherwise I'm going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place!

@PippaPug oh, look at those gorgeous boys!!! They're just beautiful!

@pippapug they are so beautiful!!

@MrsR16 it's such a difficult one isn't it. I must admit all the uncertainty is starting to get to me now! Don't know if I'm on my head or my arse! I know we are all in the same situation and just gotta stick it out, I just wish I knew how long for!

Freddie slept right through last night! I've been sticking to a routine for about 5 days now and it's really making all the difference I think! That and he is having breakfast and tea along with his bottle. He is 6 months old next Thursday where has that time gone!

We was suppose to be flying on a big family holiday on Saturday which is obviously not happening now. My sister in law got Freddie and both her boys matching outfits to wear to the airport for Christmas which we was so excited to see them in! However with that not happening now, they wore them yesterday for pictures, in two different households 😟 I can't wait to give
My nephews a big squeeze again. Here is Freddie in his!

@thumper59 oh, Freddie's such a good boy!! I can't believe he's nearly 6 months old! Freddie looks such a sweetheart in his outfit! Where's that from?

@thumper59, omg he is adorable! So sorry about the holiday; we were going to go away with my parents, bro and sil at the end of June, but won't be happening now ☹️ Maybe next year! That's great news about Freddie sleeping through, it gives me hope!

@MrsR16, Life is so strange nowadays and it's so frustrating sometimes! How has Ethan been this week?

Joe is doing some crazy noises and still trying to roll back to front, he's also loving his funny little back shuffle, he can go a surprising distance now 😂

Had a tough day yesterday, cleaning his eyes and putting drops in. He also has a blocked nose and keeps spitting up. He was so upset last night, but thankfully seems pretty happy today.

Here is a pic his dad took yesterday between meltdowns 😍 I can't believe what a little fella he is now, where's my little bag of chips of a newborn gone?!

@MrsR16 Yep same, I see groups of teens hanging out and even having parties on fields when I’m out on my walk. It takes everything within me not to to and give them a smack!!
@thumper59 Yeah it’s a mindf*ck thinking about a return to work isn’t it when we don’t even know what the country will look like in a few months! My nursery is holding our space but will I even want them in a nursery full of kids in a couple of months?! Who even knows.
Oh my gosh Freddie looks adorable in his personalised knits!! Pic for the photo book I’d say. How rubbish you’re missing out on your holiday though! That’s amazing he slept through. I also find a bedtime routine helps so much!

@Fivebyfive2 oh he looks gorgeous for a wee boy so under the weather!! Ruairí gets congested and saline drops or spray work great for him.

Ugh god the 12-week jabs yesterday!! They were fine at first but we had a shit night. I basically haven’t slept. They had temps and wouldn’t settle unless on me - not ideal at 2am!! Luckily they’re on their usual fine form today but I don’t know my arse from my elbow (DH slept through it all of course). Pic of the lads, just because :)

@MrsEG, ha ha I love that photo! Things 1 and 2 😂 Aaahh I'm joining you in solidarity for the lack of sleep! Joe did 7.30 till 1.30 but once I put him down at 2, he woke at 4, then again at 5.30...dh took him downstairs at 6 but he was being so noisy (Joe, not H!) I didn't get any extra sleep. I just got up at 7, didn't see the point staying in bed. Pj day for me I think!

Ooo I saw a fb post going around that basically says anyone really deliberately flouting the social distancing is a selfish twat and it's their fault lockdown keeps carrying on... Was sooo tempted to post it so my in laws would see it 😂

Thanks for the welcome, guys!
I honestly feel like I’m trying to solve some silent reflux mystery with these noises Finn is making and the sporadic crying after feeding. Got a split opinion from the docs too so I feel a bit lost.

@Fivebyfive2 - I get the same from DH when Finn won’t settle and it’s really hard to disprove it’s not just a comfort thing!

@MrsEG - I’m sorry about your PND; you’ve really been through the wringer. The boys are gorgeous and I hope you’re doing better 😊

@MrsR16 - so not just us with the random screaming?!

@purplefig - thank you; I thought I was resilient but I feel like a weaker version of me at the moment - looking forward to getting back to full speed at some point! Thank you for your lovely words xx

@ELW85 When you say crying after feeding what’s going on? When the boys were newborn they cried constantly during feeds; mid feed, post feed. I hated the entire experience!! They just sort of grew out of it. I did spend a bit more time burping them though as that helped. I wondered about reflux too as they were always spitting up and getting hiccups a lot but it never got that bad (although my word we’ve had a few projectile pukes! But they’re few and far between). But like I say they just grew out of it. Conor used to just cry all the damn day long as a newborn, he hated everything. Feeding, nappy changes, getting dressed, the bath, you name it! He’s much calmer now. Some babies are just bloody fuss pots I reckon. Ruairí on the other hand is the calmest most placid baby on the planet. Constantly telling him to have a word with his bro ;)

@MrsEG - ah that’s really interesting! Basically sometimes (more common when he has a big feed), he can cry about 10 mins afterwards, go red and rigid. Sometimes I think it’s wind, and burping more has definitely helped, but sometimes he’ll stick his tongue out and look as though he’s tasting something awful.
He also hiccups a lot and occasionally spits up.
I wouldn’t be concerned even if it was a bit of reflux but he’s started making grunts and whistles, which can sound hoarse although the docs think they’re normal.
His ‘voice’ isn’t hoarse nor are his cries so I’m a bit bemused/up the wall!
When did the boys grow out of it, and congratulations!!

@ELW85 Conor does the red/rigid thing - the first time it bloody terrified me! FYI if you blow sharply in their face they’ll stop it. And Ruairí is a grunter - he’s quieter now but Jesus the noises he used to make at night!! They just slowly grew out of it; I noticed it was happening less around 8-9 weeks and nowadays feeds are nice and painless haha! If they cry after or during a feEd now I know it’s either a burp so I just sit them up, or they’re still hungry (usually the case with fat chops Ruairí!). They’re exclusively formula fed now too, so I’m concious of burping them as they’re having such big feeds! But now after a big burp they’re happy as Larry.

@MrsEG - OMG tips very much appreciated!
I’m doing a combination of FF and BF because we ended up back in hospital for a couple of nights due to Finn’s weight loss and it’s got me paranoid ever since, so I like to see what he’s eating.
It really does take loads more winding. I think something Finn is still hungry at the end of a feed, but he’ll then spit up so I’m not sure if he can be?
The other thing that’s bothering me is that he’s a bit noisy breathing but only sometimes. I think it depends on the position he’s in.
Do I sound like an on-edge new mother?! I certainly feel that way...I used to be logical.

@ELW85 Oh I get it completely! Sounds so similar to us. It was all in very dramatic fashion too - basically one morning I literally couldn’t wake them up. We were rushed to hospital. They’d lost 15 and 16% body weight in 5 days. Conor was so poorly because of it it was affecting his kidney function. I pretty much switched to formula on the spot but did pump for a few more weeks too, until that just became exhausting. So I totally, totally get it. I used to note down to the ml how much they’d drink in a day! They’re now thriving FYI, glugging down 7oz bottles at 12 weeks old. They’re massive too - little fatties. I never thought I’d see the day - Conor only weighed 5lb when we arrived at hospital.
If the boys spit up but are a bit cranky still I rub their backs for a few mins then offer the bottle again to see if they’re still hungry. But I agree usually once the spitting up starts they’re pretty full!
Ruairí was a noisy breather - does it almost sound like congestion?

@MrsEG - that’s awful, I could have written that post myself. One night he just wouldn’t wake up for a feed and I knew something was wrong. This ended up as us spending another 2 nights in hospital to try and get a feeding plan nailed and his weight back on track (he’d lost 9.5%) so after the sleep deprivation and being confined to the cubicle alone because of COVID; I think I nearly lost my mind!
It’s really shaken my confidence with feeding and so now he’s mostly formula with some BF in certain parts of the day.

You’ve nailed it; he sounds congested.
He’s also started making grunting noises like he’s clearing his throat (tends to be when he moves or is pushing wind though).
I’m scared his voice is sore because of silent reflux although his voice sounded ‘clear’ until this morning and now I think even that’s gone raspy (just the grunts were raspy before).

@ELW85 it’s horrible isn’t it - because Conor in particular was so poorly we were in hospital 4 days and I couldn’t believe it had happened to them both. They were on IV drips for 3 days and had bloody cannula after cannula put in. You just feel like you’ve completely failed, don’t you? They sent the infant feeding team to see me but at the time I just didn’t want to hear it, as far as I was concerned my boobs had totally failed them and I became obsessed with monitoring their feeds!
They really are so much better now though - you’d honestly never know it had happened. How is Finn doing now? It really triggered my PND so be kind to yourself. You’re doing amazing. It really could and does happen to so many women!

Yeah Ruairí had this! I was so worried but they said it was likely just him his tiny new lungs. I did have some vapour drops in our room though and I made DH sucker his nose literally every day to keep his airway clear - probably very OTT haha! But it seemed to help. Are your health visitors still coming if you need them? We can still go to clinic if there is something we need - could it be worth giving them a call? We have still been getting Conor weighed as from birth he was on the 0.4th centile. Although very pleased to report he has now shot up to the 2nd haha!