Mumsnet Breastfeeding Club

[Llondbol]

Hi!

I can't find a thread for breastfeeding chat; so thought I'd start one.

I'm a new Mum to Jac (10/4/19) and he's my first baby. I haven't made it to a local breastfeeding group yet, so would love the chance to chat here. It was a difficult start and I still have so many questions...

Anyone want to join? Introduce yourself - I'd love to hear from you 😁

@MrsGrannyWeatherwax thank you. I’ll take a look. Yeah, baby has been having fun bottles of 6oz of formula, and around 3 of them a day, and sometimes a few ounces on top of that. Problem is that I’m under a lot of pressure from others to go onto bottles feeding. Especially when I don’t have any confidence in myself. I should really speak to the health visiter, or infant feeding team. I’m just clueless at what to do! Been feeding her on me as much as she takes this morning and then she drank 4oz of formula xx

It’s really difficult when your feeling that pressure, I still get it from a few people but at the start had MW’s, HV and family all commenting. If you’re happy (and able to) then getting support from peer supporters or infant feeding teams, it really helps honestly.

You may have inadvertently dropped your supply slightly, so if you feel able to then try to let her feed from you first before any bottles. Plus she’s the best at emptying boobs so will help you feel more comfortable. Equally if it’s you who wants to stop then don’t allow anyone else to pressure you.

@MrsGrannyWeatherwax I thought I wanted to stop so went along with the formula. However, baby has been feeding with me more today. Only had 4oz of formula so far. I will carry on breastfeeding first and try to build my confidence.
It’s a shame so many people feel pressure to stop 😞
Xx

I second seeking out some peer support. I think the desire to breastfeed is something that some people don't really get

@BeHereNowx32 engorgement is awful isn't it. But so you know what saved me...Savoy cabbage. I was so desperate I'd try anything but whacking awhile leaf on each breast brought unbelievable relief. Google it.

As for top up bottles. Is your baby gaining weight?
Why are these people pressuring you to go to bottle? Where are they coming from? Is it concern for you overdoing it? Are they worried the baby won't flourish on your milk alone? When you can pinpoint their concerns then we can tailor your response.
Or you can just say the cover all response: "thank you for your concern, I know it's coming from a loving place but I am the mother of this baby and I know what's best. I've made the decision to feed and it would be really helpful for me if you could support that and stop undermining my decision"

@SnuggyBuggy @avocadoincident they do think it’s too much for me to handle, and that I don’t make enough milk because baby will gulp down formula. To be fair, I can find it too much. Especially the cluster feeding at the start. I need to just do what I want, and not discuss it with other people. It’s been a rollercoaster journey!!
Baby is gaining weight and has lots of wet nappies.

Oh yeah @avocadoincident I’ve heard about the cabbage! It’s so simple as well 😊😊 xx

It’s usually unlikely that you don’t produce enough milk, but it is a possibility still. If you get support from your health visitor / feeding team then you could make a plan to drop the formula feeds for breast feeds which would demonstrate to you if your supply is okay as baby would still gain weight and maintain nappy output.

If it is low supply there’s methods to address this which can be successful, but I’ve stopped with all these extra methods now as I was under too much stress and ultimately for me it was too much. Especially since I have to supplement with formula despite all my efforts, so it felt like a huge demand for little benefits. I did find the empty reassurance from ladies that “everyone feels like they don’t have enough” slightly grating so please accept my apologies if you’ve also found to have an issue. But I suppose most women worry about supply at the start, as it’s an unfamiliar and worrying time.

The early days are mentally draining and conflicting advice everywhere I found, but the breastfeeding supporters really asked me what I wanted to do. And any benefits to breast milk are the reason I still do it despite needing formula supplements, so really well done for keeping going! I think partners and family often focus on mental health nowadays despite not realising that you might want to breastfeed. They think it’s helpful to be able to bottle feed, but I’ve noticed not many actually do the cleaning, sterilising etc only the nice feeding part. (I’m very tired today so excuse my grumpiness)

It’s hard and worrying, especially if you’re also suffering engorgement. But I think you’re doing so well! I nearly gave up on week 3 thanks to all our issues, only sheer stubbornness stopped me. X

@MrsGrannyWeatherwax you don’t sound grumpy! I can relate to everything that you’re saying. I think you’re right. Because we have always gave a top up, it’s preventing my milk from building up. I have just sat in bed and fed baby myself for a while and now she is sound asleep. Hopefully that helps with engorgment too.
Tbh, breastfeeding was making me really drained and feeling low, but I think I needed support to get through the hard stage. Instead of just using formula. Nearly stopping breastfeeding has made me realise its not what I want yet!
How old is your baby? Sorry if I’ve missed that. Sounds like you’re doing great too. I don’t have anything against formula really, and nice if you can use alongside breastfeeding... but like you’re saying need to get the right balance as to not upset milk supply xx

@Since2016 another 13 week biter here... poor boobs are covered in red marks like I’ve done a few rounds with a mosquito 🦟

@countrychick and @JLB waves from the south west! Have you joined your local HSE bf support groups? I was frogmarched strongly encouraged to go by my PHN when DD was failing to get back to birth weight. It’s been really helpful to hear other bf mum’s stories and see how they resolved things. It’s only now I see the legacy of the promotion of ff and what it has done to the skill of bf. Nobody in my family or extended family has ever breastfed. My mother gave DD a sneaky bottle when I was having a nap!

People are very quick to suggest stopping BF for the mums mental health and I agree its not like they are going to be doing the sterilising and preparing formula.

I found cluster feeding really grim too, to be honest I don't know how anyone with other children gets through that stage.

@BeHereNowx32 Feeling much less grumpy today so that’s a start! My baby is 6months now (scary!) but it’s only the last few weeks I’ve actually started to relax with the feeding - little madam really fusses during any feeding. But she’s letting me sleep most nights, and very chirpy otherwise so I suppose I shouldn’t complain.

But no, I don’t mind formula usage either especially as it’s doing it’s job for us. I do occasionally have someone misjudge the audience and I feel terrible for days, they’re just stating facts but it can feel personal when I’m the only one supplementing. (Probably not, but my local group is v dedicated) Luckily, the main infant feeding support in my area is very supportive of us and I’ve been lucky enough to have access to 2 NHS IBLC’s, and they both support our formula useage as a medical need.

The conflicting messages did play on my mind though, but any amount of breast milk is beneficial so I’ve gotten over it. I do think our mental health is important though, as is the bond and I did resent my baby at one point (3 weeks old - awful awful stage). But for me that meant trying everything first, before I could accept my supply issues meant no chances of EBF. We’re much happier in a routine now, and I still get the easier option when out and about rather than preparing bottles etc.

@SnuggyBuggy I honestly don’t know how you get through cluster feeds with another child. Mine felt like 6-8 hours of constant clusters at one point, I was basically house bound as I couldn’t get from A-B in the limited time available. I know it doesn’t happen so much after the first few weeks but they must be hard weeks whilst trying to entertain a toddler too!

@MrsGrannyWeatherwax 6 months breastfeeding is amazing. I can only dream to do it for that long. X

Re cluster feeding with another child - thankfully DD only tends to cluster feed at night after DD1 is in bed. In the early days DD1 watched more paw patrol etc than I was comfortable with but needs must! Now settling into a better routine although it changes constantly!

Health benefits etc aside - I love the ease of bf. And speed!

@since2016 I am in awe! And my baby is extremely slow at feeding so probably why I invisige a difficult time.

Currently feeding in a random summer house at a garden center - despite how uncomfortable my husband is. He still isn’t a great support in public.

Helljo there @noseoftralee! I have only been to HSE breastfeeding support group once with the twins as it's too awkward with 2 babies. I'd love to go of only to get them weighed but they get upset after being stripped down to the nappy and it's too hard to bfeed them both without a wide armchair / couch. I did attend with my first and second children and made good friends from both. I highly recommend going if you can.

Just popping in to say dd2 went to sleep last night on her own, without being bf'd to sleep, for the first time and It. Felt. Weird.
She's 6.5 months and starting baby led weaning, she ate loads at dinner for the first time last night and zonked out in her cot before I'd finished reading her big sister her bed time story! I almost felt sad about her having gone to sleep without me but then I went out into the garden in the sunshine and life was good again

That’s lovely Dobby

@mrsgranny yeah she’s v different to DD1 who only slept on me for months and fed every 2 hours throughout the night and day but was like bf on speed - 10 mins max! This one is slower but sleeps SO well!

I miss the cuddles already. She rarely feeds to sleep. Although right now she’s just fallen asleep on me for the first time in weeks and it’s lovely x

Came across this and thought this will hopefully be able to answer some questions I have .

Had a rubbish start with breastfeeding , various different issues but managed to persist and have established it properly . My little one is now 10 weeks old but I'm struggling with the lack of routine and also feeding through the night . Keen to get out more with my baby but it's hard with every day being different . I'm starting to feel exhausted and run down. Been doing responsive feeding but that means everything seems to be different times each day with no real pattern .

At the baby class I go there's only me and one other breastfeeding so I'm limited with the support I can get. Any advice on this .

Hello, can I join? I have a 10 month old and a 3.5 year old both breastfeeding.

@Starheart I find at that age it's easier to put baby in a sling so I can feed or get them to sleep whenever they need it but can still get out and do things. After a little while they will find their own rhythm

@Starheart sounds like you are doing really well. I also longed for a routine as I'm that kind of person but it just came on it's own. I did write notes for a few days to see if I could see any pattern develop.
But 10 weeks is very very young yet and it will happen

@piopina welcome to you! Tandem
Feeder??? I am in awe. I'm hoping to get pregnant again now but want to continue feeding my 14 month old too. No luck yet but it's nice to hear of mums who have two feeding

@starheart can I ask what's stopping you from going out? Is it feeding in public or feeling like you can't be out when LO is napping?