July 2007 - yet starting in June!

[Jamantha]

Well, I can't see a post natal July 2007 thread, so will start this, even though Charlotte, my DD was born 4.5 weeks early in June. I'm sure the other July ladies will be along soon enough.

Have had 2 nights at home now. Yesterday afternoon was fairly distressing as Charlotte wouldn't latch on, and if she did she wouldn't suck. But have got loan of electric pump from hospital, and support from midwives and now managing with comination of breast, expressed and formula milk, sometimes all three in the same feed. Finding it quite emotional, with all the issues associated with feeding one's baby, but trying to stay calm as found out yesterday that getting self into a state doesn't help anyone.

Dh has just gone out to get some things we're still missing, and I'm putting my feet up for a bit. Phil & Ted has just arrived so we might try a stroll down to the ante natal class tonight!

Any how, hope there are lots of lovely birth stories to come from July ladies, and that we can swap advice, give each other moral support etc over the coming weeks and months.

twoplusone, glad to hear your lo is safe and well after the op, hope your mum is recovering well too.

As for the sutures and scarring they do so well at this age dd2 had her op 5 weeks ago (3days old) and her scar is beautiful now, but I'm still reminded of all the trauma and stress every nappy change.

Had my 6 week appt yesterday wasn't examined at all.... doc was (understandably) more concerned about my psychological state and contraception, I can't remember from last time whether I was examined or not what's the general consensus???

As for the dummy debate I wasn't going to use one this time but surgery and nil by mouth meant dd2 needed comfort and it was the dummy or my finger! i wasn't planning on sitting around all day anymore than i do at present and it doesn't seem to interfer with the breastfeeding atm

Glad to hear your family is coping Twoplusone.
was looking forward to a nice bath with bubbles (my stitches should have healed now) when DS woke up screaming. that was at half eight. It is now ten pm and he is still awake. DD is keeping me company downstairs but she shold really be in bed. (It is really hard to type witha baby resting on your arm so please excuse all the typos)
He has to go to sleep soon. he can't stay awake muchlonger.

Twoplusone - Im glad to hear that you are home and all is well. I hope that your Mum goes from strength to strength. It must be a really tough time for you...thinking of you!

Chubby - I tend to feed LO and put him in his moses basket in the lounge with us and then carry him upstairs with us when we go up. I can't bear to have him in another room as I get a little panicky I won't hear him (have a baby monitor but say it malfunctions? - yeah, I know I need to calm down!

Okay, here is a hugely personal question but has anyone attempted sex yet? I had an episiotomy and was convinced all was healed (almost 5 weeks) and was curious as to whether it still worked 'down there'....oh man did it hurt. I ended up in tears and now think it will never be the same again...

Myfairone - After my episiotomy with my DD, the first time (at around 5 weeks) was very painful but it did get better with time (can't remember when it felt 'normal' again but probably about 6 months). I haven't even tried yet since having DS 8 weeks ago, but had C-section this time.

2+1 - glad to hear the ops both went well.

Typhoonsmum- I think it's a while since you posted about expressing, but I haven't been able to logon. I used to express a lot with DD as I found BF very difficult so expressing was easier. You will find your milk supply will dry up eventually, as you need the baby's sucking to stimulate production. Maybe you could put LO on now and again? Have you heard of fenugreek- its meant to increase supply. When my supply started to go down, I would pump more regularly, even if nothing was coming out, as this would encourage more production. I managed to turn my supply around a few times, but DD was still on the breast every day too.

I'm so glad I have had some time to read this thread and wished that I had come to it sooner. I have been absent from mumsnet for sometime as it has been difficult for me to get to the computer since my daughter was born (july 5). It is so nice to read people's stories and words of advice and to know that I am not alone in the world!

I have been sleeping on the sofa in my clothes for the past 7 weeks which is fine but is getting a little wearing. I have set up "baby camp" in the living room...mostly so that my husband can get some sleep because he works and so that I can have room to pace with the baby and watch TV for company. I am so sick of TV!

Nia is mostly a good baby...the main issue I have right now is that her sleep pattern is all over the map and I'm not sure how to go about establishing any kind of schedule. I'm assuming that it's still early days and I should just go with the flow until she gets a little older. For example, she will often sleep more during the day and then I have a hard time getting her to sleep in the wee hours. I have often said goodnight to my husband at 11am only to greet him in the morning having had no sleep. I have no problem getting her to fall asleep but getting her to stay asleep is challenging. And this goes for all hours of the day. I have to lull her and make sure she is in a deep sleep state before I can put her down. Otherwise, she wakes up immediately and I have to start all over again. It takes hours sometimes.

I find the night hours psychologically difficult as well. Anyways, I'm open to any advice or anecdotes.

Good luck to everyone!

Pula - Thank you, I guess I was just rushing it...feel dead tired too so probbly doesn't help.

Greyclay - You certainly are not alone...just join in this thread for a few days and you'll see! I too was finding the nights hard (esp after DH returned to work because it can be a lonely time can't it?)

Someone put it into perspective for me by saying that this phase is for such a short period of time and is one of the most important/crucial/vital times for baby's development that you just have to ride it out & know that it will pass, you will sleep again and you can look back with pride knowing you served your time to ensure your baby needs were met!
I am sure you are doing a fine job...

Well aside from the fact that I have had very little sleep, 'down below' is sore from attempting sex too soon, the grey is starting to show on my hair again and I've got a zit on my face....I'm doing great today!!!!

Big hugs all, happy Sunday.

Gosh, Myfairone - you're a brave girl. With DD1 I didn't attempt sex until after six weeks and that was a straightfoward birth with no tearing. Even then, I found it uncomfortable! It's just early days for you, but it will get better as you heal. Once things calmed down down there, I found sex better than before (sorry if TMI for a Sunday afternoon!), and have heard this is quite common. Something to do with increased blood flow down there while you're pregnant.

And Greyclay - I had a long while like that with my first one. The one thing that I think helped was making night times dark and day times bright. So even if I knew we were going to be up for the night, I kept the lights very low, etc. Then in the day, I made LO nap in bright light, with the curtains open, and exposed her to lots of sunlight - getting out in the fresh air, that sort of thing. Supposed to help kickstart their natural body clock. It's bloody tough on you, though. Well done for getting this far and staying sane.

I feel the same as you but in reverse. DS sleeps as well as a two week old can be expected to sleep at night but during the day he is a nightmare. He woke at seven am this morning and has had ten minute power naps every two hours or so. I'll cuddle him and he looks wellaway and then put him down and ten minutes later he is screaming again.
Took him for a walk and he screamed for fifteen minutes before sleeping. I spent the entire walk crying like a little girl. I must have looked a sight. The thing that was upsetting me most was that DP was just reading the paper or watching the telly claiming he has worked all week and deserve to relax of a weekend.
We took the girls out for the afternoon and came across the most annoying little git I've ever met. He was about 9 years old and in a wheelchair (PEOPLE MAY GET OFFENDED NOW) He spent the next half hour doing wheelies up and down macdonalds restaurant and making the floor vibrate when he banged to the floor (Where DS was finally asleep in his car seat)I could see he was winding a few people up but no-one would say anything to him as he was in a wheelchair. I threw him my best "Stop messing about look" but he ignored me. Then he started to deflate the balloons and making them squeak as he did it. DD was messing with her happy meal toy so i went to tidy up the mess and the boy squeaked the balloon down my ear. I snapped.
I told him that if he carries on he will wake the baby up. He looked at me and said he didn't know there was a baby there. Then he preceded to do the balloon thing EVEN LOUDER!. I had to take DS to the car before I did something I'd regret. Once Igot in the car I broke into tears again.
MIL took DS off me so I DP and I could get the weekly shop in in peace. When we got back DS had just had his bottle and MIL was trying to settle him. Just as she got him to sleep and we put him down he woke up again. I took him home and for two hours he wouldn't sleep. MIL then took him to the park and he screamed all the way thru that. She has kept him at hers and given him his next bottle and said she'll get him off to sleep.
Am on the verge of giving up the breastmilk completely and going on to formula milk. DD was like this till we put her on the milk for hungrier babies and then she was no problem.
Feel so drained. Just glad he does this during the day not at night.

Thanks so very much for the support and the suggestions. The night/dark day/light approach sounds like a good tactic. Again, it's nice to hear that other people are going through similar challenges. Sometimes you wonder if you're doing everything wrong!

Typhoonsmum, I commend the fact that you are making the effort to get out and about with you son. That is something I really want to push myself to do more. I've been managing to get to the local store once in a while but it really depends on my little girl's sleep pattern for the day. Hilariously, before she was born I had fantasies of wheeling her around in her pram for hours on walks. Or sitting on a patio sipping lattes. I didn't realize that getting out and about with a baby takes practice. I'm still building up my confidence...I worry about getting stuck out somewhere with a screaming baby and no place to breastfeed her.

Live and learn!

Typhoonsmum, sending you big hugs. It sounds as though you could do with a break. Can you express some milk and go and have a relaxing afternoon with a girlfriend, a haircut, lunch or something to get away from your baby? It might do your other half good to be left with the baby to cope with on his own for a few hours (quite a few hours!) so that he understands how truly draining it can be looking after a little one (you probably make it look easy and do what I describe as low grade complaining (which he will put down to post natal hormones). It is my observation that the less fathers do to help in the early weeks the more reluctant they are at helping out .... ever. Leave him with the baby and a quantity of expressed breast milk and just go out. Go and see your best friend. He will find the baby even more difficult than you and will be horribly stressed when you get back but at least he will be more understanding and more likely to try and give you a hand a bit more in future and also he will get better at handling the baby the more you leave him in charge. Sorry if this sounds patronising but it sounds as though you are doing it all!

Typhoonsmum, I am sorry I didn't read your post more carefully. I rushed reading the posts because I only get a few minutes a pop at the PC.

I am very sorry for your distress. Your MIL sounds helpful but your husband should certainly be chipping in more. It does sound as though you have a LOT on your plate and I hope you can get the support you need.

Good luck with the breastfeeding/formula decision. I know it can be tough but you need to do what's best for you.

typhoonsmum - poor you.i totally sympathise and please know you are not alone! And just because the child in Mc d's was in a wheelchair doesn't mean he is exempt from being naughty/annoying!

cake - thanks for the sex comments...no idea why i thought it would be enjoyable

greyclay - i too had visions of being a lady who lunches/walks her baby in the park whilst having beautiful flowing shiny hair and a fresh but naturally made up face!!! hahaha..truth is, i haven't left the baseball cap off yet, i cant even find my make up bag and i cant control the pram!!!!

all that said, i stupidly tried to walk the baby and dog yesterday..i have no idea why i assumed the dog would stroll next to the pram! he saw a cat and nearly pulled me over, i screamed at him, bent over to try and pull him back and didnt put the break on..nothing happened but i cried as i imagined the pram rolling away. came home and now feel even worse about venturing out!
oh and the dog is now petrified of the pram!!!!

oh well, im sure it gets better!

big hugs to all & lets all make a big effort to keep our sense of humour!

Hurrah i've found you all.

Posted a while ago that I had a beautiful baby girl on July 16th Poppy Jasmine weighing 8lb 1.5ozs. All the details of the wonderful home birth then traumatic delivery of placent are on birth announcements section so i won't bore you again for those who may have already read it.
Haven't had a real chance to catch up but hope all are well as are your lo's.
I'll try and catch up soon but I'm so pleased I found this thread again thanks to Coppertop.{wink]
t.t.f.n

MIL fed DS at 5pm with the hungrier baby milk and he slept till 12.30 AM. Didn't even wake when I changed him into his babygro. So he was tired just wouldn't sleep. If breastmilk is meant to be the best thing then why is it not satisfying DS.

typhoonsmum - it sounds like your baby might have been overtired. I've finally cottoned on that what we thought was colic is largely tiredness from our LO - he's much better now I'm making more effort to get him a proper sleep in the afternoon. If he's really knackered he kicks and flails and cries, it takes a feed in a quiet dark room to settle him. Also, bear in mind breastmilk is really easy to digest compared to formula so they need more frequent feeding than if they were getting FF.

HTH, you sound like you need a big hug

just a note to say I am putting ds to bed at 7pm-8pm after feeding him in a darkened room with familar music. he then sleeps till 2am or so, I feed him in the dark (so I don't wake up!) then he goes back down till 5-7am depending.

he seems happy with this and naps in the day when he wants.

I agree with keeping night dark and day light, it's obvious but really helps.

hi to Saf1 too!

How long was it before everyone started to exercise. I'm not a gym a holic. Far from it. If the concensus is to wait 6 weeks then that is what I'll do.

Can't stand my flabby belly.

Hello ladies - I need people using cloth nappies and babies under 12lb still to email me and help me out (free fluff is involved!!!)

bumfluffnappies at gmail dot com

Please email asap!!!

All sorted

typhoonsmum - my LO is six weeks old today. I had a c-section so have waited to full six weeks before commencing exercise. I played tennis today with my partner, just a gentle knock on grass courts at our tennis club. It felt lovely (my tennis was garbage but that didn't seem to matter). LO slept in his pushchair, DD ran around the court, picking up balls. Our session ended with a ball hitting DD on the arm from a crisp back hand from me . Boy did she blow. I hate my blancmange tummy.

LOL Caroline. That reminds me of when me and my sister used to play "swingball" in the garden at home. One of my sister's friends stood too close and got walloped in the head with the bat. She had an egg on her forehead for days. Another time my and sister were playing badminton. Sister got a fit of the giggles and served the racquet at me instead of the shuttlecock. (This is why I don't play much sport)

hi again, been put of the loop for a while, but trying to catch up and get back onboard now.

Can't believe dd will be 11 weeks tomorrow! And she is also awful when overtired - happens most afternoons as she doesn't like daytime napping much. When she outgrows the moses basket - which won't be long - she'll move into cot in own room, for which we're getting black out blinds, Hope that will help with napping. But she sleeps well at night - 8pm to 3.30 am and 4.15 to 7.15am last night - so shouldn't complain too much I guess.

Hi all,

I took LO to the health visitor today and he has put on another 6oz so the booby milk is clearly working!

Went round to my Mums today who cuddled him all afternoon....so needless to say now he has no intentions of being laid down to sleep!

Typhoonsmum, if you think the formula works for LO then go with it. Don't beat yourself up over it!

Big hugs to all.

Meant to say...I hate my flabby belly too but think Im going to wait till 6 weeks to exercise. I have a persistent pain in my right groin (think its a muscle pull) which is quite painful so going to check it out with the doctor first.

Well done to anyone that is exercising already!