August 2016. Anyone got the hang of their babies yet?!!

[plimsolls]

Thought I'd start a new thread. Unimaginative title but E has spent the whole day grizzling/feeding/sleeping on me so I'm running on limited capacity!

[peardrop2]

Plimsolls how's she doing?

I am rubbish at getting Dd to sleep Argghhh I just want one of those babies that you can put down! I hear about them and they sound amazing

[BellaGoth]

Oh Pear you're not rubbish! Your baby is poorly and you're doing everything you possibly can to find out what's causing it and fix it for her. That's not rubbish.

The trouble with babies that fall asleep really easily, especially when you've had a reflux baby in the past, is you constantly worry something might be wrong, because they just sleep! And you end up poking at them to make sure they're ok

[peardrop2]

Bella nope, 2nd time round I use a video monitor and let my Dd nap upstairs away from DS. Definitely wouldn't be any poking from me

So, trying a new routine tonight. I let DD sleep from 6-8:30 then fed and then bathed when DS was in bed. So in theory a much longer night for me because whilst Dd was sleeping I was doing the bedtime routine with DS but I'm just hoping that Dd now settles better after her feed right now. FX! If this works better and means I get to go to bed at a more sensible hour then I'll have to give up any evening time

[peardrop2]

1.5 hours later and I still can't settle her Don't know whether to laugh at my efforts or cry! She did lie on her back for 20 minutes watching the star projector until the timer turned off and then she yelled. I'm back to feeding now but she's just startled and woken herself up

[peardrop2]

Grrrr have given up and passed her to DH who will now give me 2hrs sleep. The only difference tonight was...when I passed her over she's not screaming her head off from being hungry or over tired so he should be able to settle her quickly if his tricks work. So annoying! Where am I going wrong?!

[BellaGoth]

You're probably not doing anything wrong. There could be countless reasons why she's not settling. Maybe tonight she's suffering with pre-teething. Or she's coming down with something. You could do exactly the same routine tomorrow and she'll be out like a light.

They are delicate little soles. Yesterday DD screamed hysterically for almost 20 monitors because my dog sniffed her head. She apparently can't cope with cold wet noses.

[Belager]

I find sometimes she won't settle with me because she smells milk, wants to eat but isn't hungry and is too tired. That's when DP takes her. Instant sleep. I feel shit about it, but it works and she's happy so it's ok. pear you aren't doing anything wrong.

[peardrop2]

I do kind of wonder though because how is it possible that I have two identical bad sleepers who don't self settle 3 years a apart? Is it really all down to genes or is it something I'm doing/not doing?

Update on the reflux situation. Taking Dd off all medication was the right decision. It's weird, her grunting, chocking noises, crying and leg crunching after eating has gone. I'm on week 2 of going dairy free and I feel like that's had a massive effect now that I'm doing it properly. I think on week 7 I'll start to introduce small amounts of milk in my diet and see what effect that has on her.

[peardrop2]

The car mirror with lights I have brought for Dd is a game changer! Finally something works!! Had no tears going to and back from my mothers today. Phew!

[peardrop2]

So, it took me 2 hours to settle DD last night but at 2 she finally went to sleep. I must have drifted off by 3. Couldn't sleep because I was so awake by then Then she woke at 5 for her next feed and I still can't get her to lie down by herself. So I'm basically getting 2-3hrs in the night. Feeling Grumpy When is her cold going to bugger off?!?????!?

[peardrop2]

Can I rub snuffle babes on Dd tonight? I know I've been holding out but she's 12 weeks tomorrow and I am desperate. Would you, even though she's a prem baby? She's so blocked up she can't sleep unless she's upright on my shoulder

[Belager]

I'm still using it in hot water. A is 14 weeks and was 5 weeks prem. I've found it quite strong, but if it's not working in hot water and you feel it's right do it. You have the best instinct for what is right for your DD.

[Biscuitswithtea]

Evening :) Back from family visiting which was lovely in the end. Less lovely is that DS has another cough, DD has a cold and I am fighting off a cough. So soon after the pneumonia saga makes me a bit anxious but there's nowt I can do except be as healthy in lifestyle as possible. And cross my fingers.

I would use a bit of snuffle babe Pear. Sounds like you've tried everything else.

As for settling babies...DD was a baby who could be put down awake and she would drop off. This has become less and less successful as the weeks have passed - and I haven't changed anything. Nor have I done anything different to what I did with DS. Who was a dreadful sleeper and I probably walked c5-6 miles every day to enable pram napping with him for the bulk of maternity leave. DD, whilst self settling is harder this now, doesn't require the same high maintenance approach at the moment.

[peardrop2]

So, I remembered that one of you suggested I used snuffle rub in the day so I did that today and it's been fine. I've also just melted some in hot water in the bedroom. My mil is downstairs as DH is taking her to the airport in the morning. He's still working in London and won't be back until midnight. She's just watching Tv but I can't pass her the baby because she's useless so I've been sling wearing all evening On the bright side she did do my ironing pile. I'm hoping Dd wakes up soon so that I can feed her and hopefully get some sleep. I'm so unbelievably tired. Yawn!

Biscuits poor you lot! So soon after your last sickness Goodness, I'm really seeing the benefits of a summer baby now! Did you buy the car seat footmuff in the end?

I've been trying to sort out both Dd and DS winter wardrobe. I think I've almost done it all now. Really don't like online shopping. Such a pain. I thought I was going to be able to re use DS clothes but they seem to have gone missing or are the wrong season. I think he was a tiny bit bigger then her which is making it tricky. She's now in 0-3 months clothes. It's only a 3 months difference in seasons between them but I guess it's more like 5/6 months because she's prem. Gives me an excuse to buy winter dresses anyway

[peardrop2]

Yay I got sleep! 3 solid hours woop! Well maybe 2.5 or 2 but it was sleep for sure! The snuffle babes is helping her breathe but I'm still a little nervous about it. It's good though that she can breathe without struggling!

I'm absolutely loving all the smiles I'm getting. I feel like we've really turned a corner now that she's 12 weeks. So corny as I know that is what they say...but she does seem much calmer and happier within herself. She's awake in the day more and smiling a lot at DS which is very cute. She's started to be interested in her toys and she's so cuddly. I can't even help how much I secretly love that she goes to sleep in the sling within seconds in the day and she loves to be cuddled in a ball in there until she's hungry I think I just get what she wants more now too.

[BellaGoth]

Great news on the sleep Pear! Hopefully this is the start of great things for you and DD!

Biscuits you poor thing! Hope you're taking it is easy as you can.

DH took DD until midnight last night, which was very kind of him. Unfortunately I kept waking up wondering where DD was! I think I'm too tired to sleep properly.

I am VERY jealous of the clothes shopping. DS is desperate for some winter clothes, and DD still mostly exists in sleepsuit. Unfortunately between having to buy a new bed following #castersugargate and a £380 vet bill for dental work, we've spent almost £800 due to the dogs this month. . So shopping needs to wait a bit.

[Biscuitswithtea]

You're so right about understanding her needs more now Pear. So much of baby caring involves (educated) guess work, especially in the first few months. And it takes time to learn what a person, regardless of age, likes and doesn't like. Whilst I am a teeny bit nostalgic for the squishy tiny baby that DD was, I also love that we are getting to know her too.

Haven't bought a foot muff yet, still managing with blankets for now.

So, do any of you have parents/inlaws who have separated and since remarried? What do your children call the new partner? My dad remarried a few years ago, his new wife is brilliant and we consider her as much a grandparent to the children as my dad. Until now DS has just called her by her name, but we (and she) would like to find a way of capturing the relationship she has/will have with the children. At the moment we are leaning towards 'granny x' - which isn't perfect but may have to do....

[peardrop2]

Biscuits - aw that's sweet that you feel she has a place to have a name I don't feel like my MIL deserves to be called granny but I have insisted that DS calls her granny x. At the beginning she started to call herself nanny which isn't for us so I've paved the way so to speak My mother is just "granny" which she is very happy about. Both grannies are single.

So, I ate something that didn't agree with Dd yesterday so we had a bad night but she seems to be a bit more settled tonight TG. I have a feeling it was the cappuccino with soya milk at soft play. I've realised I have to be far more stricter with my diet when we're out about because who can you really trust when it comes to preparing food for anyone with allergies! I might ask for soya milk but the teenager behind the counter doesn't care does he!!

[peardrop2]

I also love that I am getting to know Dd too

[peardrop2]

Is everyone else's baby going longer then 2/3 hours without food in the night? Maybe it's because my Dd is prem but I'm sure my DS could stretch it out longer then this by 12 weeks Only getting sleep for 1.5/2 hrs at a time is hard

[Biscuitswithtea]

DD will do one longer stretch at night. Anything from 4-7hrs from when she goes to bed 7 30/8ish, but usually 5-6hrs. There after it will be approx 3hr gaps. By day, however, she still feeds like a fiend and seldom goes more than a couple of hours. But since her nights are decent at the moment I am willing to go with it.
DS took bloody ages to sleep longer at night, so you have my heartfelt sympathies Pear.

I think I gave up drinking coffee in cafes whilst dairy/soya free for that reason. I can tolerate black tea but not black coffee. It was tedious but worth while.

Yep, ironically, granny x is probably the most committed and most able to offer a sustainable & valuable relationship to the children.

[Sophia1984]

DS will sometimes go for a long stretch (4-7 hours) but more common is a biggish stretch from 9 - 1 and then waking every couple of hours till we get up/ Had his 12 week jabs yesterday - so much better than first ones. Only had to give one dose of Calpol and he slept ok, though his feeding a lot bless him. Off to sling library today to try out a soft structured buckle one. Have got the hang of stretchy now and love it, but it's a faff getting it off and would like one that DP and granny can use too as they're going to be caring for him when I'm back at work. Is anyone else using a sling?

[peardrop2]

OK so as I suspected it isn't that normal that Dd never goes more then 3hrs without food when I'm around day and night I don't think it helps that she sleeps in my bed as I'm sure she's aware that I'm there. It's hard isn't it....I don't really think there is much to do except continue to encourage her to sleep in her own space every few days. She is at least going back to sleep eventually. I think my problem is I am struggling to go back to sleep. Especially around the 4/5am mark.

I use the caboo closer and it's great for both myself and DH.

[AlfieTheRailwayCat]

My DD rarely goes more than 3hours in the day. Unless we are out and about in the car/pram then she can go longer. At night I sometimes get a 5 hour stretch then every 2 hours until I give in and get up.
I have a stretchy and a Tula Sophia I love them both! So good for taking the dogs for a walk.

[Belager]

During the day it's every 2 or so hours. At night she goes about 6. She's been doing that for about 3 weeks with a few constant feeding nights in between. She's now 14 weeks. pear how old is yours and how early was she? DD was 5 weeks early.