August 2016 - early arrivals to the newborn cuddles & graveyard feeding shifts

[rumisyum]

So many August bus babies have arrived already! Anyone else fancy a chat during night feeds or wondering what to make of the contents of tiny nappies? Might as well get comfortable...

daytona no advice but sending sympathetic good luck vibes to you

Daytona I do bedtimes alone and actually sometimes they work out quicker then when I have someone around to distract or hype my DS! On bad nights the sling works well as I can still lift DS into his cot. Even though he is 3 now we decided to leave him in the cot where he is happy as he doesn't try to climb out and seems to enjoy the security. I think keeping to a routine as much as humanly possible will be your saviour. I bath them together and then take baby out after 5 minutes, dress and feed baby whilst topping up DS bath with bubbles and toys. Baby is then sleepy at story time. You'll find your groove soon

Biscuits I can express about 3oz in the evening. I have no idea why I can't express in the morning because that is meant to be the best time to express! DD is 6 weeks today. Going too fast Stop the clock!!

Christine - sorry I have no idea because last time with DS it took me a year to recover post stitches. I'm sure your DH totally understands. I wish I had your sex drive!!

Pear - I'm with you on just stopping the clock - 'someone press pause as my oldest DS would say, I can't believe that baby will be 3 weeks old tomorrow!! By the way, I agree your DH is being a tad unreasonable, I've noticed mine isn't quite so helpful with #3 as he was with #1. He did get up and change him last night in the middle of the night, but only after seeing me have some really awful pains earlier in the evening, so I think he's realising that I'm not 100%. Still, a bit of help in the wee hours now and then makes all the difference.

Good luck daytona, it sounds daunting but once you've managed by yourself for a couple of days you'll feel really accomplished and confident. Its amazing what we're capable of, just know that you'll push through it. My DH used to work away a lot when I had a 2 year old and newborn, and its tough but you'll quickly find a routine that works for you.

Biscuits - glad you are feeling a little better, take all the help that's offered :) I've only expressed once so far with this baby (trying to drain out the clot when I had mastitis last week) but with my others I remember they needed about 5oz expressed for each feed at 12 weeks. Hope that helps!!

christine you are light years ahead of me, I don't think we DTD for about 6 months after the last baby, and I have no sex drive whatsoever right now!!!

cheese - I think I'm turning the corner with feeling myself finally, good to know you're a week ahead and continuing to feel decent!! So pleased for you that everything has gone well with Freya, it must have been so difficult for you, I can't even imagine.

My Mum is coming over for a couple of weeks, haven't seen her since last year and it'll be lovely to see her....must get sheets ironed on the guest bed and have a good tidy up before she arrives tomorrow. I'd forgotten how hard it is to get much done with a cluster feeding newborn....

Daytona that must be such a wrench. I agree it can be easier on your own sometimes though, my DH has done some stints working away and things certainly seem to run more smoothly! Mind you mine doesn't do a huge deal to help and is very messy so my workload drops when he's gone...

Pear your DH needs a kick up the arse. I thought mine was lazy but at least he helps out when told repeatedly.

Does anybody with older DC have trouble getting them to leave the baby alone. DS just wants to kiss her and stroke her, but when I've just got her asleep in the cot it's a little frustrating! He means well, bless him.

Urrr yes Bella my DS won't leave DD alone for one second. Drives me crazy. She's much better off in the sling but it's so hot and sweaty to wear all day! She was in it most of today though.

Why does having DD in the sling help her sleep better at night? Is it the closeness or is it because she's upright most of the day?

I don't know but I have found that E sleeps better st night if she's had everything she's wanted in the evening, particularly cuddles and naps on my chest. So, she'll spend the whole evening asleep on my chest and then happily go down for 5 hours in her crib. Logicslly, you'd think the opposite would happen. My belief is that having every urge catered for means she's more secure and confident to cope with crib sleeping.

I guess the goodness of the sling would do the same. However, if being upright in the sling prevents trapped wind which would otherwise keep her awake, then that's got to be partly responsible too.

I haven't yet figured out how to put E in our sling and she gets angry quickly at my fudged attempts....

daytona good luck with DH return overseas, hard work and quite lonely for you in sure. My DH does a bit of work travel and I often find that I can get a bit more sleep when he's away if it's a good night , I eat dinner with the children and then go to bed as soon as they do-hard not having anyone to share it with though.

pear glad the sling is working for you-upright position will likely be helping but also if she's had a bit more sleep during the day is likely to be less overtired? Keep going with it if it's working though! Have you been back to gp anymore? I know you said you had taken her off of the reflux mess but is it worth pushing for a trial of omeprazole or domperidone?

Mine like a fuss of the baby too especially when I have just managed to get him to sleep...

Toddlers and babies are a dodgy combination! DS will usually give DD lots of cuddles and kisses, often when she's mid feed or asleep. But the gentle strokes can easily switch to a hit. He scratched her face the other day which was sad. I don't think he understands that she can't move in a controlled way yet.

I read the 'No Cry Nap Solution' with DS. Basically better naps equal better nights. I might have got a bit obsessed about this I don't suppose it really matters how those naps happen, the principle will be much the same.

So today is immunisation day :( I seem to recall that the guidance is that we give calpol in advance now. Anyone been told something similar?

pear a combination I think. Have you read the fourth trimester? I think our modern lives don't agree with tiny babies, if you look at other cultures they wear the babies all day and feed on demand and then sleep together. We are fairly obsessed as a society about babies getting into a routine and doing things by themselves when they are still so tiny! You can't spoil a newborn.

plimsolls are there any NCT sling meets near you? I went to one a few weeks ago to get help doing my wrap and it was so useful. They even took pictures of me so I could refer back to them at home.

daytona are you in Aberdeen? If so and you need a hand feel free to give me a shout. My DH isn't in oil but lots of friends are and I know they find it tough when dhbis away. But I think once they've got used to it they manage. Don't be afraid to ask people for help, nobody has to be superwoman!

biscuits how are you?

Anybody heard from rum and four

We are pottering slong here, DDs latch is still not great so I'm working on that all the time. Enjoying her though, she started smiling socially this week. I love her big gummy grin, makes up for the lack of sleep!

Biscuits I think the advice is calpol before the men B jab but don't hold me to that.

We say that DD has a "cuddle quota" and if she hasn't filled it she won't go in the moses basket at night.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with an over enthusiastic older sibling! He's constantly trying to put blankets on her / give her toys so I have to watch him like a hawk!

It's my DP who can't stop kissing the baby when he's sleeping or feeding!

Hello, here I am! Have been lurking and keeping up but never get a chance to post!
Biscuits glad you're on the mend, you poor thing! Hope your DH is pulling his weight and making sure you rest as much as possible. Also hope jabs weren't too awful earlier and your DD wasn't too upset.
Cheese glad you had a nice, if quiet and slightly emotional, wedding anniversary. I'm so sorry about your DD, I imagine it's one of those things that you never get over, just learn to live with. So glad you're enjoying Freya, hope things are a bit calmer for you now school's started again.
Shan boo to mastitis! I'm in absolute awe of you getting everyone up and out so early - think it would do me in after a few days! You must be superwoman. Lovely that your mum is coming to visit - get her to do everything while you put your feet up and catch up on rest and recovery
pear sorry you're still struggling, what a crap time you've had the sling works wonders here too. IME sleep begets sleep - DD was such hard work as a baby but in hindsight I suspect she was chronically overtired a lot of the time and I, as a new mum, just didn't realise. I recognise the signs now; DS loves the sling so the second he starts getting tired I pop him in and he's out in minutes - he also sleeps really well at night and I'm convinced the two things are linked. When they get a bit older & bigger you can back carry them and that makes life much easier as it's just like having a backpack, you hardly notice them! Stick with it if it's working for you and fingers crossed your DD turns a corner.
Bella we have the sibling thing too! DD is 4 so knows to be careful etc, luckily - but she loves him SO much that she sometimes quite literally smothers him with it. She likes to lay practically on him and cuddle and kiss his head. I love how much she loves him and don't want her to feel pushed away, so I try not to tell her off, just remind her nicely to be gentle and rescue DS as necessary!
Day good luck! Agree with others that sometimes it's easier on your own - less washing, less cooking, less cleaning and I find it's easier to rely just on yourself than expect help and then be resentful if it doesn't come. You'll settle into a routine in no time I'm sure.

All well here, still loving every minute! Everything is fab. DS is nearly 8 weeks now and an absolute joy - I think he's just happy to be here, this one. He's interested in everything and absolutely loves being chatted to - he smiles away and does these little baby coos which are just the cutest thing ever. He spends most of his time in the sling and loves being out and about.
We're cosleeping and it's great, he generally wakes two or three times a night and I stick a boob in and doze til he's done, then we go back to sleep. HV weighed him yesterday and he's 13lb3oz and between 75th & 91st centile little fatty.
DD started school yesterday. She's on half days this week and then full time from Monday - she had a fabulous first day yesterday and came out high as a kite. I'm so happy she's happy, and have loved the peace, but I do miss my little buddy. She's an August baby and looked so tiny heading off into big school in her too-big uniform ❤️
I think we've semi-officially decided to just not go back on any contraception and see what happens. Definitely want a third and happy with a small gap, but obviously with bf it may or may not happen so just going with the flow. Fuck knows where we'll put the next one, but it's like musical beds round here at the best of times anyway, so we'll work it out.
Sorry for epic post - need to keep up more!

Lovely to hear your news Coco :)

Immunisations were mercifully quick but goodness me DD can howl. And looked at me with great big watery blue eyes all the way through each of the three jags :( We need to go back for the developmental check because she is technically premature (but only by 4 days and she was a reasonable size from the outset) Hopefully the check will just get lumped in with the next round of immunisations. Anyway, she is 10lb11 at 9+1 wks. Seems dandy to me.

Anyway, the calpol advice now is to give 2.5ml before hand, and then up to two more doses afterwards if required. DD is sleeping it off this now so will check her temp later.

I am feeling much more like myself, albeit tired still. Am aware that if I do strenuous stuff then my breathing feels a bit wonky & rattley but I imagine that's very normal at this stage though. DH has been a star and has held the fort as much as he can while I've been laid up.

Just been sorting through DS's newborn clothes that he has already grown out of, and my heart hurts :-( Those first few weeks were so tough and I'm so proud of him for growing so big and strong and of myself for feeding him up, but already it feels like time is flying! People at the breastfeeding group I go to were talking about nursery places today!

Oh sophia I know! They were at my group yesterday. I'm no way ready for nursery yet. In fact I was just mopping the floor thinking how much I love being at home. I'm sure it won't last but I'm very glad I'm going back to work part time.
Oh biscuits glad it was quick and I'm dreading them. Poor dd.
Pear how are you getting on? We've been using sling during the day and encouraging the naps, like biscuits I'm finding more naps equals better sleep. After a horrendous ten days last night I got 5 hours sleep. In one go! I felt so refreshed I almost went and got a shower at 4am .
Daytona my partner works away too. Although not for that length of time. Have you got any family support? It's really hard so I can only imagine how hard it is when you've got two to look after
My five hour sleep obviously worked wonders. Two dog walks, out for lunch, shopping done. Even managed a full face of make up. Just cooked and eaten a hot meal for the first time since DP went back to work so feeling very successful today. Totally prepared for tonight to descend into colicky chaos and retract all that tomorrow

Aww Sophia I have been sad about that too. In fact I've shamelessly tried putting her in 2x 5lb outfits this week but I've now come to terms with the idea that we have to move onto 7.5lb newborn now (which is ridiculous as I know newborn is just as small to some of you mum's with bigger babies and also I too should be proud that she is gaining). I'm very very hormonal. That's what I'm putting it down to.

Biscuits I'm so glad things are on the up for you now and that you're starting to see light. You've been through so much recently. I can't imagine how you've coped with looking after others too! Well done for looking after yourself! Great news that the injections went OK. I am dreading it. I got the letter and now I need to book.

Four thank you for your sympathy vote. You're so right about the sling. Glad to hear all is well at your end. Your feeding and sleeping experience sounds blissful and chilled. I look forward to being more chilled in our household. Aww for your little girl going off to big school. That will be me next year as my boy will be 4 in May. I am in awe that you've had that no3 conversation with your DH. Things have been so bad here that I'm terrified that DH will say no to another one. It took us a long time to conceive no2 because I breastfed for 22 months so I'm thinking that I don't have to worry about contraception yet...and let's face it there will be no action for a while yet anyway! I remember being appalled when the Dr asked me at the 8 week check up last time ha ha!

Alfie yes I read the 4th trimester recently. It's very interesting and true. How are you getting on?

Day you ok? Surviving? X

So, I saw the wonder lactation lady today. She's given my confidence and the much needed boost that I will survive this time and it's going to be OK. I've got my homework to do.

News flash...DD got sick on my bed sheet this afternoon so because nap time is valuable we both slept on top of the duvet and she slept for almost 2 hours before waking for food. This is like a miracle. And...it gets better...for the first time ever she has gone back to sleep!!!!!! It's nearly 6:30pm and both children are still napping. I realise that with DS this is a terrible terrible idea but I have slept for like 2.5 hours so you can imagine how I feel! I don't really want to leave her on the duvet alone so I'm kind of hoping she wakes up soon. DS is calling for me now so I better go. He probably feels amazing too as he's been refusing naps for days! I'm looking forward to the 6 week check up tomorrow to see how much she weighs!

You sound a bit more chipper Pear :) Am amazed and in awe by the 3rd baby conversations already. We won't be doing that! It would break me for sure ;) Does mean that we need to consider long term contraception. Am quite keen to avoid hormonal contraceptive now but that doesn't leave many options. But regardless, I don't think our energies are ready for being that enthusiastic yet ;)

There's something bitter sweet about babies growing out of clothes. It makes me sad too but a 9wk baby probably should be growing out of newborn & into 0-3m clothes soon! I find it helps to have something nice for her to grow into ;)

I'm in Aberdeenshire Alifie, meikle wartle a tiny villiage between Inverurie and huntly

Yeah I'm still here lol. And I survived night one

In fact by 8.15pm my son was in bed, baby was asleep on sofa next me , dogs were fed, house was clean and washing was done

8.30pm tonight , had dinner at 5.30pm then took both out in pram to walk dogs round village quickly 1 dog then home swapped dogs and away again , home by 7pm and both asleep by 8.20.

Then I folded washing, sorted dishes and clothes etc for tomorrow and been sat with feet up since 9pm

I actually feel like superwoman

Long may this continue

Who needs a man..? Ha ha

Thinking it might not be so easy on bath night

On another note, do you like baby grow a friend got William

I thought it quite amusing after his 3 minute exit on my bathroom floor 😂

Ha ha you go Daytona! Who needs a man indeed Quite useful at the baby creation part though That is the cutest baby grow!

I feel like I'm finally getting to know you all a bit better now as I'm managing to store bits of your birth stories alongside how it is all going for you in present days. I remember it took me forever to get to know my NCT group and that was RL with faces

Biscuits don't panic...I'm only slightly thinking about no3 because it's been a long life dream of mine to have 3 and now that I'm going through this crazy time I'm panicking that I won't be able to have another. That's why it's on my mind. Also, with two previous 3rd degree tears it would be sensible to opt for a c section next time and that also presents a problem as 2 kids, a c section and a 3rd silent reflux tongue tie baby would probably very likely send us over the edge Unless I get 3rd time lucky ha ha! Anyway, we will see. It won't be for another 3 years anyway.

I am feeling chirpier. Seeing DD nap for 2hrs and then go back to sleep has given me so much hope. I've also met a friend at my breast feeding group who is going through a familiar journey. She's been so lovely to talk to in RL as I feel none of my friends understand and in fact I've noticed how everyone has sort of left me to it now that they've done their duty visit. It started to feel a bit lonely without me even realising. Really I only have you lovely ladies to moan to about my lack of sleep and reflux issues. Thank you ladies

Daytona I should also say that I think your baby is very cute too

daytona we are not far from you at all! Also in a village near you, don't want to totally out myself but the offerbisvthere if you her a hand ever. You do sound like superwoman! Keep it up.

Nice to hear you are feeling a bit more positive pear it's a wonder what sleep will do for you!

Hi four you sounds great!

biscuits glad you are on the mend.

sophia and sloth I feel the same, when DD puts on weight I am equally pleased and sad!! She's massive so never even had her in newborn clothes.

We are tootling along, bad start to the night as she wouldn't go to sleep until 2. There were tears from both of us! She's slept three and a bit since then though. I wish she would sleep a bit more consistently. Some of my NCT group babies are sleeping 5 hour + already. I am with envy!

Wowsers. Well done Day I am in awe :)

Pear it can be such a lonely time with a baby. Especially a refluxy one. I remember cancelling lots of things with DS because I was so tired and feeding was so hard that staying on the sofa was easier. I totally get what you mean about duty visits too. And visits from childless friends who don't always understand why 5.30/6pm might not be the best time to pop by.
DS is with me on Mon & Fri. I make sure we go out to a group of somekind on both days. It's good for him and me.

So DD seems to be happy enough to sleep off the immunisations (other than a particularly grumpy patch late afternoon yesterday). I was knackered too after yesterday's adventures! Fell asleep watching GBBO. Whoops.

Oh Alfie ** You know it was just yesterday that I was saying to myself TG I haven't got to contend with the NCT pressure this time round. I'm afraid no matter how lovely your new friends are you will hear those "my baby is sleeping through" words a lot now. It was like I put myself through pure torture going to lunch with the girls every week None of them really understood what it's like to have a unsettled baby. I'm glad I persevered with them though as we're still friends The good news is most of the children were terrible nappers in the afternoon and terrible eaters! They nearly all struggled with weaning but not me So just remember that very soon they will be of you about something. Maybe your lo will be the first to crawl/walk in the group...that will turn heads This is your first child right? No I've got that wrong haven't I?

Biscuits you're right about going to groups. Definitely helps a lot! to your non mummy friends turning up at 5:30pm. I hope they see what it's like for you or do they runaway My mum still calls me at 6:30pm no matter how many times I tell her I'm in the middle of the bedtime routine!!

I'm not sure how much sleep I got in the night if any. I was basically running a 24 moo cafe! It always goes wrong when I'm too tired to keep track.

6 week check up this morning woohoo! DS is still asleep no surprise after his late night! DD has just drifted off in my arms after her breakfast feast.