November 2014 - the one where they answer back.

[MrsAukerman]

New thread.
Hop aboard.

Not sure why it insists on changing my name to one I used years ago...m

Well you've all inspired me, I finally managed to get the swimming booked, so fingers crossed all goes well and this will be the start of a beautiful journey for dd1 and for us all.

Have had a mental busy time at work recently but things may be a bit quieter in the next few weeks so hoping to have more energy to decorate a bit more. Plus force DH to look at stuff online and visualise what we need. Mostly our tastes intersect, but we both have strong opinions and sometimes it can get stormy

All I need now is this cleaner/handyman who you can email I am open mouthed that such a wondrous person exists!

Am logged in (rather rare these days) so saying hello.

I've noticed that DS is really turning into a little stereotypical boy which fascinates me. Since Christmas he has become:

a) very very loud,
B) very daring physically and keeps trying to tumble and jump off everything roaring at the top of his lungs,
c) fascinated by Cowboys ("YEEE HAAA MAMMY!!") Pirates and Monsters,

d) obsessed with Lego (mega blocks that he calls "Eggo")
e) Added lots of deadly peril to his playtime I.e. cars now smash into each other or get stuck in crevasses in the sofa with lots of dramatic shouts of "Oh No! Stuck! Aaaah!"
And
F) started forcing us to play "Foopal" by kicking a ball at him that he then places carefully in our hands for the next go.

He continues to completely ignore all cuddly toys except to propel them into the air.

I honestly didn't realise boys were this hard wired to turn into gender cliches! Am quite taken aback!

Sleeping iin a bed has gone well about 80% time odd night waking & a week where up a lot when Ill

Antibiotics did trick muxch better so obviously an Infection somewhere ii think chest, 2 weeks of high temps just wasn't viral.

Speech is amazing now and proper indignant little wotsit at times.

Have had to order new glasses they doubled his prescription two mths ago at hospital they no longer do glasses there so specsavers sorted some they were so heavy kept falling down back three times !oads adjustment still no good he refused to wear them pads hurt his little nose went with eldesrt to new small spec savers asked them to check ds2 and she said as soon as opened box they won't fit him too young for metal character ones no bridge on a toddler nose to hold them up and high prescription means heavy lenses (her 16yr old had glasses from 13mths) so back to baby glasses and currently waiting for them to be made up. He is so good at wearing glasses just wish opticians didnt keep cocking up that's two specsavers now and this us only our second lot in a year, will give this new one a try otherwise going to have to suck up expense of independent opticians (voucher for kids is worth £30 but specsavers let you have £64 pair free) where glasses are around £100 for toddlers.

Wow eastmids - SO expensive! kids in glasses are just so damn cute but you never think of the expense or the bloody faff of getting a good, workign pair.

Having a terrible time with DD's sleep. About 3 weeks ago she started not wanting to go to bed, she kicks off from when we get her out of the bath and screams and kicks and cries and fights all the way. We have to wrestle her into the chair to have her milk and a cuddle, she throws her much loved bunny on the floor then demands it back, says she needs her nose blowing, wants some cheese etc etc. We actually have to trick her into bed by asking if she wants more milk/calpol and then say 'ok you wait in bed and I'll go and get it' and don't go back, she doesn't cry and starts her usual wiggle to sleep routine and drops off within half and hour. We've tried going to bed earlier, going to bed later, me putting her down, dp putting her down, spending more time with her before bed. Nothing makes a difference. On top of this she's waking 2-3 times a night and at least once needs me to go in and cuddle her. I'm so tired :(

Can someone reassure me that this is just another phase??

halfstar My cleaner/handyman is my pride and joy, I am always showing off about how wonderful he is. He does loads of annoying things but we daren't say anything because we can't risk losing him...

Hi all, checking in for a quick hello. Lady, sorry to hear about the sleep, I'm sure it is just a phase. She might have got herself into the habit of making a fuss at bedtime, and isn't sure how to break it yet. Has anything changed in her routine earlier in the day that could be having a knock on effect at bedtime?
East, what a nightmare about glasses, so expensive!
Ds and I rather poorly this week, with horrible colds. He's been gorgeous apart from the snot bubbles. Only just gone up to a size 5 in shoes, the petite little fella!

Well new glasses are ready so will collect at weekend ready for his hospital app Mon we go every two mths although had to fight for this app some cliniccock up.

I was still bf Ds to sleep only feed he had and occasionally he had few sucks and saiud no but last two nights hasnt wanted it so going with don't offer do t refuse had decided to stop it after our hols at easter but self weaning makes life easier.

Half term here next week I have the week off soooo need it my day job has been so demanding I do v little of my own little job which I love.

We have glasses that fit hooray only took 2mths of persistence and they don't slide down his face and have stayed on. ☺

His little face!

We have a poorly child here today which I'm sure is just a virus so I'm not that bothered. It's just gonna be a cbeebies day. But god, DH is shocking when DS is sick. He gets massively disproportionately stressed about it. He sighs and drags around looking exactly like this: and I have to hiss at him to pull himself together. FFS!

Btw ladydolly we had bedtime anxiety last month. It lasted a (tedious) week and now is back to normal. We were really alarmed at the time though! Hope it passes quickly for you too.

Oh my goodness! So adorable!!

anna and postmark I hope dc’s are feeling better?

We had to change her routine after the bedtime fuss started because she was even more hysterical for DP than me. The actual routine has calmed down now and bath, getting dressed and cuddling is fine but, she still doesn’t want to go down. As soon as I stand up she screams ‘noooo sit down, cuddle, cuddle, sit down’ even if I wait until she falls asleep on me as soon as I move she wakes up and starts shouting. Last night I put her down anyway and just calmly said ‘sleepytime now, lots of fun tomorrow blah blah blah’ and she winged for less than 5 minutes and then went to sleep. So possibly it’s getting better but I HATE her being unhappy at bedtime when we’ve never had problems before 

We went out for a valentine’s lunch yesterday while my mum and sister took care of dd along with my niece and nephew. This combined with soft play first thing meant that when we got back dd fell asleep on her dad on the sofa, shortly followed by dp and I also having a Sunday afternoon nap! It was such a treat. And she still slept the same as other nights. Just got to figure out how to recreate this!!

Well done little eastmids for wearing the glasses! DD can't keep a basic hairpin in for more than 15 minutes!

If it's any consolation ladydolly DD has been quite upset last two bed times as well. She seems to work herself up a lot. She suddenly has started to refuse drinking milk from 5oz bottle and kicks the hell if offered one. We usually made her the big bottle for night time and the small one in case it's not enough to avoid running around during the bedtime. I ended up pouring the milk from small bottle to the big empty one she had just finished to shut her up. Then she gets stroppy if during the cuddles my arm is not positioned in the exact way the princess wants. She moves it in a required way and I duly obey, but occasionally she just decides that the right way is not good enough and then there is trouble. Full on toddler...

In couple of soft plays I have noticed that DD doesn't particularly hold back to wack other kids if their ways cross. The thing is if there is a bigger/stronger kid trying to push her off a rocking toy and she fights back I can't help thinking "well done for standing up for yourself", but when she raises a hand towards a nosy one-year old who has limped over to her to have a look at what she does, obviously, there is a problem. I have managed to stop her and tell her off so far. But I am a bit at loss what is the right way here. I would prefer the children don't fight with each other at all, but that's unrealistic. I don't want to tell her she can't stand up and defend herself, she should really when there is somebody trying to push her over, but I don't want her growing up a bully hitting smaller children either. And I am not sure she grasps a difference between the two situations so far, why defending herself is acceptable while attacking somebody is out of question.

Strawberry it's such a minefield isn't it. Even if you go for "we don't push people that are smaller than us", she still needs to understand that she shouldn't push a bigger kid just because they happen to be in her way, and obviously we hope our kid won't be the one to start the pushing! I was always told not to push or hit and still had no problem defending myself when necessary (and pushing my ilttle brother around) so i think I'll be going with the tactic of telling DD not to do it and then just hope she'll be able to stand up for herself if she needs to. TBH I'm quite happy if she shouts at a little kid trying to push her around rather than just pushing them back.

Went to soft play and had the opposite (Which is why I usually avoid it, seems like a place designed for roughness and confrontation to me)! DS was scooting round on a little bike thing, very gently and slowly, and a slightly bigger girl came over and pushed him off the bike so she could ride it (there were about 15 other bikes she could have ridden). DS had a little cry, and didn't want to play there anymore afterwards. I felt so helpless, no mum around to mention it to, and the little girl was too far away, I would have said something if she was a little bit closer to me.
I'm so, so glad he's such a pleasant, easy-going guy. He doesn't tantrum (yet!), and is pretty accommodating, bumbling around in his very cheerfully quiet way. But, others are going to see that and I really fear he's going to get bullied. I never learned to stand up for myself and avoid confrontation at all costs, so don't really know how to teach him the skill of asserting himself without being disrespectful or fearful. Such a minefield...

I can't believe these challenges are already coming up. They're still so small!! So far Dd seems to not be afraid to assert herself (like me) but I think that's because she doesn't come across older kids that often, she's leader of the pack at the childminders . I'm trying to think of ways for her to be around older kids too, her cousin is a big 4 year old but he's very timid so she tends to get her own way with him too. I just don't know how I'll cope if I see another kid push her about...

Really sorry porsmork you find the soft play experience upsetting. There's definitely lots of power struggle going on even in this age. Just before Christmas DD came home from nursery with the back all painted in different colors. When asked nursery they couldn't tell what happened. There must be somebody in their group very advanced to do things undercover. For a 2 year old it should have taken quite some effort to change 4 different pens and draw stripes all over other child's back. As long as it doesn't happen again I won't make a noise, but it was quite a shock to take the coat off and see the artwork... That's probably another reason why I am bit hesitant to tell her off by default for using force. Definitely a minefield....

OK so last week had to speak to nursery about npt being observant enough ds2 had a contact urticaria on hands bad on one they didn't hand it over I noticed on arriving home 10mins drive, took pics n emailed all they were worried about was what caused it I wasn't so worried about that I was concerned iif they didnt notice that what else goes unnoticed - new manager was v v defensive not quite so warm and approachable as old one. Lots recent staff changes room leader left 2 weeks ago also ds2 key worker.

Anyway a number times on pick up 1 nursery nurse to 6-8 children (2-3yr old room) but as soon as parent in room another NN appears for hand over, anyway yesterday one NN sat across room from children 7-8 kids in room she had to ring over to room across the way for another NN to come over as she couldn't watch kids and handover I said oh was x changing a nappy she said no no she was in other room. Today DH collected a NN he didn't know on her own 7 kids again no other NN appeared at hand over.

So how to I tackle this one ratio for under 2's is 1-3 and 2-3 is 1-4 which is why they move them as soon as 2. I think over 3 is 1-8. So it could be 50% of the kids are 3 but still 1-6/7/8 is not acceptable ii think that the 2-3 room should be 1-4 and that's what am sure they told us.

Do I ring manager mon, pop in Mon its next door to school anyway, wait til I collect Tues eve. I would email but gives them a chance to fudge a story together, asked outright face to face its much harder. But I hate confrontation and difficult questions.

I'm no use I'm afraid as DS has 6 kids in his area and one key worker as that's the ratio for 2-3 yr olds here in Ireland - 1:6. Tbh it seems to be fine.

There are floating workers to help out but there are definitely a few minutes here and there where she's changing a nappy in the adjoining toilet and the kids are technically unobserved.

But then we don't have a handover as such. They do write things down but at pick up she just says "He ate well, he slept/didn't sleep, he had a couple of stroppy moments but nothing major". So it takes literally 30 seconds and she doesn't step away from the kids whilst she's saying it.

Now in fairness we are pretty hands off and as long as he's obviously happy we're happy. It's largely a personality thing too - we absolutely adore his key worker and genuinely believe she'd tell us anything important, whereas we might not trust someone else.

For example she starts at 9 so before that the woman from the Waddlers does the 2-3 room with her little ones mingling amongst them. We aren't so fond of her. She was nice with the tinies but seems not to know how to talk to Toddlers and comes across as bossy and hectoring which is guaranteed to cause defiance. Whereas our Keyworker is gentle and does a lot of clever fun distraction with toys to get them to do what she wants and it really works.

So it comes down to trust I guess. I wouldn't trust Waddlers Woman half as much to report everything. We actually try not to arrive before 9 as we are so sick of her snotty tone. "Dad, take his coat off please!" which just makes DS shout NO! and cling on to his coat like a vice. Not helpful!

Btw, I have just realised that haven'tgotaclue will be nearing due date! If you are lurking, good luck!!!!

Been solo parenting the last few days while dd1 has been off school and dd2 has been coughing again saw gp today and she's been given inhalers and a course of steroids. Hoping this will stop the incessant coughing. Got very little sleep last two nights and am feeling totally exhausted after wrangling with both kids around the shops/gp today. Am so sleepy but still have to sort dinner bath and bed before dh gets home. 2 more hours to kill before they can go to bed, at the earliest...

Solo parenting here Thurs to Sunday. So far so good. CM off work this week and DH away. Have some work to do but managed 1 piece yesterday another 2 to do before Monday. DS very bossy and cartoon type manipulative. Tis cute for now. He looks you in the eye and smiles and nods his head while telling you what he wants. Trouble is that it nearly always works, especially if he remembers to say please!

Hope you feel better Halfstar. Solo parenting is a tough game. Having DD has made me realise how admirable is one of my friends who about 5 years ago ended up having her DD on her own (OH hooked up with another woman just before the birth) and working full time.

DD has lost whatever interest she used to have in the potty going. So no idea when she finally drops the nappies. But she really likes singing. You can actually tell now what song exactly is she singing as she has started to sing some bits of lyrics and can hold a tune much better. Also she is into helping us, gets very excited about putting a tablet and closing the dishwasher door when we get it on. DH is really good with regards to invent little "tasks" for DD to keep her entertained.

We've had lots of singing here for a while. Twinkle Twinkle and Wheels on the Bus. Its very cute.

Also "helping". Which is usually great but unfortunately DH thought it would be cute couple of weeks ago to allow DS to help with the washing up by pulling over a kitchen chair and letting him splash in the suds.

Well he's created a monster. Every flipping evening now - "WASHING UP!!!" and he pills the chair over to the sink and gets up on it and we have two choices - pull him down and cause WW3 or indulge him and have to hover out there for 20 bloody minutes making sure he can't reach anything breakable whilst he soaks himself.

We have also started trying to really teach "Sorry". We hadn't really done it yet - I think we thought he was too young. But last week DS slapped another kid in nursery who wouldn't give him a toy (I was mortified when I heard, omg) and they put him on the naughty step till he said sorry. Apparently it took a while.

So today he threw his wellies at the telly (I don't even know why) and we told him to say sorry for doing so and he said NO for about 10 mins! But we were firm and wouldn't let him go anywhere or get any toy till he said sorry. It took aaaaaages. We were massively relieved when eventually he (barely) mumbled it as we realised we didn't have a Plan B! What are you supposed to do if they don't ever say it?!

Ah, we got stuck in the sorry thing once.
If he refuses to say sorry now we talk about it later on. Tbh he nearly always says sorry now and sometimes unprompted if you pull comedy sad face and say you need a hug or that he hurt you. He even offers 'kiss better' from time to time.

Forgot to add my good luck to haven't if she is lurking somewhere

For saying sorry, we get dd2 to apologise to her sister (it's usually her sister she needs to apologise to). Often she does but sometimes she doesn't. If she doesn't (and it's for something bold like hitting/pulling hair), we get really serious and quiet and tell her that she's going to stand outside the room for a few minutes and when she's ready she can come in and say sorry. Put her standing just at the doorframe and IGNORE for a few minutes. She usually stands there with a bit of a smirk on but after about 30 seconds comes in hanging her head and ready to give a hug and say sorry.

I'd say we're living on borrowed time with the above approach. Soon she'll figure us out

Current favourite game of my dds is to sneakily fill the tea set teapot with water in the bathroom and sneak off into our room (our room -ffs why?!) to have a tea party. So there are puddles of water all over the floor.