November 2014 - the one where they answer back.

[MrsAukerman]

New thread.
Hop aboard.

Hideous cough woke DD up just after midnight. She coughed constantly for a while and cried about it, but then was awake trying to play and chat and whinge until 4am!
Today is own clothes day at DD1's school. 5 minutes before time to leave she decides she wants to wear a different pair of shoes that she can't find. She cries most of the way to school because she is sad that she will be 'the only person wearing school shoes in the whole class.' I very nearly cry too dealing with this after 4 broken hours of sleep.

Ridiculous Post Alert:
DH found a photo from holiday where DD2 has white eyes from the flash instead of red. The internet suggests that might mean she has retinoblastoma (an eye cancer), so he said I have to take her to the doctor to check. The GP receptionist claimed she could only offer an appointment on Monday afternoon when I rang today even though I said it wasn't urgent (if I wanted to be seen so quickly, I am sure it wouldn't be possible), which is not what I wanted to do on my birthday. Rationally, I know retinoblastoma is extremely rare and it is really unlikely that she has it, but he has planted a seed of doubt in my mind and I can't help but worry what if he is right. He diagnosed DD1's eye problem that no one else noticed from a photo. Doing my job does not help with this. I see children with extremely rare illnesses everyday and I see families waiting for cancer to be ruled out or diagnosed fairly frequently.

On a lighter note, top tip of the day: don't let an overtired nearly 2yr old take a doll's pushchair containing a cuddly Clanger to the park. Eventually they won't want to push it anymore but will take great offence at your method of pushing it without stooping down to 2yr old height to hold the handle properly, throw themselves on the floor and screech while getting in people's way until you wish you could leave the child, pushchair and Clanger behind in the park!! (And she was so lovely, pushing it nicely, pointing things out to the Clanger and saying hello to passing strangers before it got to that point)

Crisis in the aukerman household. "Dolly" has been left behind at mama and Dada's house (PIL's)!
I've explained she's having a sleepover so hopefully that'll do the trick. Dreading bedtime now! He lurves Dolly.

Oh MrsA - hope bedtime was / is ok....That's why DD has 2 "Ra-Ra"s (2 Jelly cat rabbits that are exactly the same).....so far she hasn't realised that there are 2 - one that stays at home and the other that goes to and from nursery each day . I hate to think what would happen if we only had one and it got lost...also helpful when one needs to take a "swim" i.e. very much over-due soak and wash!

Bedtime was fine. He did ask her her but I reminded him Dolly was having a sleepover at mama's house. I did have a photo of her all tucked up but didn't need to resort to showing him.

Jesus happy that's scary! Surely there can be white reflection without any particular medical reason?! Just because the light was in a strange angle or something? I wouldn't know it can be a symptom of something at all.

DD is also obsessed with pushing prams. But on the way home from holiday she worked out that she can easily push around the airport the hand luggage case on 4 wheels. Was a big help while we were sat waiting for delayed plane in the small Funchal airport, not so when she decided to continue in Gatwick on the arrival. She throws a tantrum every time we even try to touch whatever she pushes.

Phew MrsA that was lucky!

We've got a few sentences here but they're probably indistinguishable to anyone aside from me and dh. She sings a lot and is obsessed with counting- most of the time she has 6-10 in the right order but guesses the first 5 numbers, occasionally dropping in "yellow".

What are you all doing about discipline? We've had a couple of instances where she's grabbed a toy from ds, taken his dummy from his mouth and today she actually pushed him over so she could get to me. I've been using a firm "no" and explaining that we don't push etc. Not sure how much is going in but she tantrums after so knows she's done something wrong. Ds has taken a few toys from her hands too and has a habit of stealing food from her if their high chairs are too close together (he's only 10 months but almost the same size) so I do the same to him mainly for dd's benefit, so she knows that it's fair. All well and good until she sees her dad nicking food from my plate...

Well today annatha DD was playing in the garden when she decided it was a good idea to put a berry in her mouth (not an edible one). Luckily, I saw her do it and immediately told her to open her mouth so I could hook it out. I told her not to do it again, said it was food for the birds, and if she did, she would have to go inside to play....I have no idea what effect (if any) eating it would have had on her, but there's no way I wanted to find out). So, of course, she immediately went back to the bush, picked another one off, looked at me and put it in her mouth. I took it out of her mouth; picked her up and took her inside. By the time we'd got there she was kicking and screaming, but I'm trying to teach her consequences and if I say something, I mean it. We've got a loooooong way to go.....

Oh, DD today decided that naps are for babies, she was in bed fast asleep at 7pm. First time since she was a baby! DH and me are lost what the hell to do with a WHOLE of an evening child free
I will not laugh when she wakes 5am tomorrow morning...

We dropped a nap today too. Well....more like DH brought him up and DS kicked off and became absolutely hysterical. I mean, he bawled and bawled his eyes out as DH was attempting to rock him. So DH put him into the cot awake, thinking the rocking was the problem, whereupon DS stopped crying but just played in his cot for half an hour till we gave up on the whole thing entirely. It was all a bit stressful.

So we're going to ask the creche what witchcraft they do to put him down, cos clearly we're now doing something different and he prefers their way.

DS , when told no, is a screecher. He doesnt have sustained tantrums really, but will screech his head off and clap his hands over his eyes in panic and look absolutely beside himself. So as a result we are erring on being a bit soft. We do a lot of distraction and then massive praise once hes distracted - anything to avoid having to say NO basically. But sometimes its unavoidable and the screeching happens. And then he looks all sad and says "Hug" and hugs and of course we end up comforting him and saying its ok. He never gets angry, he just gets upset - which is so upsetting! I think we'd be much tougher if he did get angry!

So I think we're probably spoiling him but I dont want to be shouty either, so god knows whats the right thing to do.

We are just back from holiday to Crete first holiday abroad with two wasn't too bad actually had lovely time although ds2 6week cough is pissing us all of now far too much broken sleep another week and am going to see doc to be told its multiple viruses and try Inhalers review in 2 weeks.

Ds2 says loads has impressive tantrums and is 1mth off being 2. Inc an impressive tantrum in duty free because ii put him in pushchair ss he was winging in my ear while carrying him - embarrassing they called us to front queue to get him out of there I was mortified.

Ah yes dd is also a fan of continuing with whatever she was doing while eyeballing me pointedly. Her tantrums never last long and but she throws herself onto the floor and has bashed her head on sides of sofas etc a few times, which obviously makes her trantrum more intense. She wouldn't let me brush her teeth last night as she wanted to do it herself (rather, she wanted to suck the toothpaste off the brush and then brush her toes with it instead) and actually set ds off with how loudly she cried. That was fun.

Yes to eyeballing! And Yes to massive tantrums....
But DD has learnt to be careful with throwing herself on the floor now. She first goes down on her bum with a thud, then veeerrryyy carefully goes down backwards on elbows and eventually the head also goes down. Yeah, lots of drama....
If the winge is more to play us and get her way, me starting to winge back actually sets her off giggling. Have tried the same approach when she had big tantrum and it made her even more angry, she actually tried to get me for that one. Admitedly, I wouldnt be impressed somebody takeing

Pressed too soon...

What I was to say, I wouldnt like smbdy taking a mick at me when I am upset about things, even when there isnt anything real to be upset.
So I am now analysing situation when playing her back her own show is appropriate.
Discipline at the moment is very vague here, we will tell not to do x or y, she will usually try it few times to repeat before listening.

I can't believe my baby is 2 tomorrow. Where has that time gone?

We bought her a dolls' cot. DH put it together earlier and the cat climbed in and settled down with a smile on his face. He also particularly likes to sleep in DD's cot though. The other cat looked most put out that we didn't get 2 dolls' cots so there was one for each cat

It was my birthday yesterday and she celebrated by sleeping last night. DH gave her a bottle of milk and put her to bed, then my sister phoned and I was on the phone for a hour and DD woke up twice, but she didn't wake up after I had gone to sleep. I woke up at one point when she was crying, but it turned out she was doing her old trick of crying in her sleep. I had to wake both DDs up this morning on the only day of the school holiday that we had to get up and ready early to get to the dentist. I assume they will wake up early all the other days when there is no need to be anywhere. But I was so grateful for that sleep last night after the past few nights of spending hours in her room.

Wow two tomorrow!! I was wondering when the birthdays were starting.
I nearly bought DD one of the IKEA doll beds but decided they looked far too much like cat beds! Would be super cute though :-)
Keep meaning to ask nursery how they discipline. Kind of winging it here. On the whole DD is pretty easily distracted when she starts being "naughty " and she doesn't really have tantrums, more epic whinges. I've sat her on the bottom stair a few times but it's more when I'm getting so cross with her I want her out of my way while I calm down a bit. Or when she does something really bad but doesn't really realise it (eg dropping a glass on our kitchen floor, glass everywhere and no door on kitchen so needed her out of the way plus useful for her to learn a lesson ... how was she to know it would be any different from dropping her sippy cup!)

We're going with "ask properly like a big boy we can't understand it when you whinge". Seems to work but the lesson seems very slow to be learned.
He shakes his head and says "touch out" or "pull it" to mean he shouldn't do the thing so he remembers the rules like not touching bees or pulling people's hair.

Just as I was worrying about lack of two word sentences, ds began on Monday! We've already had so many combinations that I can't remember them all... You'd have thought by now that I'd have learned as soon as I worry, he starts doing the thing I worry about.
Discipline wise, I'm trying to set boundaries rather than tell off. He's been having a few more cries and whinges, and wanting things his own way (fair enough), but I just try to explain it and reason with him, even if he is too little to understand. If he has a little plank on the floor, I just say 'oh dear, that's a bit silly' leave him to it, and he usually gets up pretty fast. Luckily, he's generally pretty chilled.
He's such a little introvert though! Took him to a museum with a garden and playground attached on Monday, it was pretty busy, it being half term, and he just said 'no' to the slide, swings, etc. He had a much better time walking round the herb garden smelling all the different leaves. I must admit, I was a bit proud!
Happy birthday Little Happy! Have a really lovely day. Gosh, 2 already, eek! X

I remember when the babies were small looking at who still talked in the ‘monthly clubs’ like ours and there was a group called ‘I can hardly believe it’s true, our babies are turning 2’ and I clearly recall thinking – wow that is so far away for us! And here we are. Happy birthday BabyHappy!

I was so exhausted yesterday after weeks of DD not sleeping past 5am that I went to bed at 7.30. She OF COURSE then slept until 7am this morning. I was still up at 5.30 but wow, amazing treat to have 10 hours sleep. And she was so much happier this morning. Talking is her ‘thing’ but it also happened overnight Posmork, once she could put together 3 words she just carried on, that week DP kept looking at each other and saying ‘amazing!’ (PFB, everything she does is genius).

With regards to discipline, we’re going with a version of Gentle Parenting. I joined a few fb groups about it which really helped but I can’t really contribute because I’m not fully on board and they can be a bit black and white about techniques. So basically I try not to say ‘no’ and ‘stop it’ too often (although for me sometimes I think there’s no other option) but give a positive version of it, so when she hits I’m more likely to say ‘use kind hands please’ and show her stroking. When she tantrums (not that often so far) I’ll stay near her and say ‘I know you’re angry that I won’t let you play with knives but they can hurt you, I’m here when you want a hug’ type thing. I’m quite easygoing about what she can and can’t do anyway, if she doesn’t want to wear her coat I let her go without until she gets cold. I let her climb the stairs herself etc. If she doesn’t want her dinner I let her not eat it, but then she doesn’t get pudding (which ‘proper’ GP would say you should still give I think). She is quite physical when she’s angry, the other morning I carried her down the stairs when she wanted to walk down herself and when we got down to the bottom I tried to distract her by giving her her milk which she then threw across the room. Things like that. If I tackle her on it the tantrum lasts for ages, if I just wait for her to calm down it’s much quicker. I think the fact that she can articulate herself quite well does help because mostly she can tell us what she’s angry about. –usually that she wants the ipad--

Happy birthday!

Haha porsmork I know at least one mum who would kill for DD walk around the garden instead of fighting other kids off the slide in public playgrounds....

moggle you're mumsnet famous! Your post was on facebook :)

Happt birthday mini happy! Dd's is on the 3rd. We've got the dolls bed from Ikea too, along with a little arm chair. I'm so excited to give her the bed, she makes beds out of the sofa cushions every day and kisses her toys goodnight.

Btw Aldi are getting some lovely wooden toys in tomorrow, including kitchens for £30. They'll not be many in stock so you'll have to get down early if you want one. I'm getting a kitchen and pans etc as a joint Xmas present for dd and ds, and a wooden tea set for dd's birthday. She loves her cheapy plastic teaset.

ladydolly, moggle tell us more!

happy let us know how the birthday went and which presents ended up being favourite with your DD.

We saw those Aldi things but haven't got our act together at all to even think about them. DD is going through her first Wonder Week - remember them? So refuses to be put down and refuses to sleep. I really, really need a shower.....

So out of sheer lack of imagination on our parts, we have bought DS a Cosy Coupe for his birthday. There's one in nursery he loves, so we know he'll like it despite it being madness to get him an outdoor toy in Autumn. But our brains are mush!

He is VERY LOUD at the moment. Highly reactive to everything and everything is at top volume. He shouted so loud to get up at 6.30 this morning he almost woke the baby. Is this a phase? Loudness?

He's still crying going into nursery. Or rather, going from lobby into the room. Just persevering with distraction techniques. Nursery is saving my sanity, and this is terrible to admit but I find the weekends really a struggle, especially if wet which it is going to be constantly now here for the duration.

DH has to do everything with DS on the weekends, as I'm stuck feeding baby or rocking baby etc and I feel so useless. DS will be exhausting and willful, and I see DH looking old and tired and it's very stressful not to be able to swoop in and help. Weekends at the moment are just something we grimly "get through" which is shit.

anna the way you feel about weekends at the moment is how I think everyone feels when they have DC2 (at least I felt a lot like that 2yrs ago and I assumed it was normal). It is rubbish that DC1 spends all their time with DH while you are stuck feeding the baby and can't do anything with them, but after a little while things do get better and you see your 2 DC together and feel like it is worth it. Cosy Coupe sounds like a great birthday present, because DS is going to want to go out even in the cold and rain like all 2yr olds seem to, so it is fine to get him an outdoor toy.