September 2014 - Toddlers & Tantrums!

[lilone1234]

Babies are now toddlers at 18 months +, growing and learning new things all the time!

Hi Fate, that was actually a good summary. Currently I am looking into both, I hope we can somehow find a good solution. Our village school had a pre-school attached to it for 2years + old, it is a state school but I have no idea what's their admission like. They haven't been answering the phone for the past 30 times I called them, so I am thinking of just dropping by

My personal preference is childcare plus pre school to give him home from home and the school experience both, but I have two problems, one it would be so so disruptive to our lives if the childcare is only there in term time or has lots of little holidays
Also, I am really worried it would get too overwhelming for ds to get introduced to too many different settings in one go, new house, new child minder and a pre school !!

if the childcare is only there in term time or has lots of little holidays

It's called "wrap around care", at least it is around here.

Wrap around care means the child goes a to school (full time or part time in nursery) and your wrap around care provider does the childcare around those times. This includes before school, after school and school holidays.

So a wrap around care provider will be used to, for example, having children arrive with them at 8am, taking child to nursery at 9am, collecting from nursery at 1pm and looking after the child through to you finishing work. Then such a provider will run "holiday clubs" too - which is extra childcare over the school holidays for when school isn't open but childcare is still needed.

Thinking long term, you will need wrap around care by the time DS starts school anyway. It would just be starting it earlier.

Design welcome back

I think at 27 month check they need to have 50 words but animal sounds are included in that too so like if you point out a sheep and they go baa that's classed as one of the 50. Also what's important is they understand you like if you say get me that teddy from table and they do it

My nephew was referred to speech at 2.5 years old as never uttered a single word

The week before his appointment he said his first word and within a week was speaking sentences

He was also a very slow walker and never walked till over 2

27 years later he has a master degree with a scholarship he won at a prestigious university and is now a successful engineer so don't be too concerned if you child is a slow starter as him being slow had no bearing on him as a adult

Of course if you do have real concerns talk to your HV.

So I'm struggling with robert he litterally isn't remotely interested in me

I can do anything for him he screams the places down wanting his daddy to do it, doesn't want me to come anywhere only daddy

Says daddy his and William (5 month old baby) is mine

I'm not sure how to deal with it and if I'm honest it's really hurtful

He nearly made me cry this morning as don't want me to come swimming only daddy

I know it's pathetic on my part he is only 2 but i feel so rejected by him :-(

He spends most of the days outside with hubby and I'm inside with baby

My husband worked away month on month off untill Xmas as he been paid off due to oil crash. And when. Husband was home robert was obsessed with him but he would go away and I was back being his favourite but now I'm totally not wanted by him I can't even put a coat on him he screams for daddy.

Anyone else got a little one who favours one parent and rejects the other..?

Daytona, yes we are having similar issues, but the opposite way around!

She's such a Mummy's girl at the moment, it is driving me nuts. Ours is slightly different in that she's very happy to be with and play with DH, in fact she can be quite a Daddy's girl, but only if I am in the room. For example, the other day they were having a great time playing together, I was pottering around in the kitchen (open plan) and DD was, essentially, ignoring me. I went to pop upstairs to the loo, and she went into total meltdown because she wanted Mummy. But yesterday I picked her up from nursery and she told me she was sad because Daddy wasn't picking her up. So I asked her if she wanted Daddy to pick her up tomorrow, and she said no, Mummy and Daddy. So she's fine with me on my own, fine with us together, but rarely spends time on her own with DH. I'm trying to wean her off of us and get them to do things together with me at an increasing distance.

DH does get really upset by it though, and takes it very personally. But on the other hand, he left for work the other day, and DD said to him as he left "Love you Daddy". When he was out of the door she turned to me and said "Not you. I love Daddy, but not you!". I found it funny, but if she had said that to DH, he would have been really upset by it.

Dayton, how was he before Christmas? If your DH goes out for a couple of hours, how does Robert react? I'm wondering if he is going towards Daddy more because baby, understandly and rightly, often takes lots of your time? As baby grows and your DH can do more for him, things might change? Perhaps you could arrange some activities together where your DH takes the lead with the baby, and you take the lead with Robert? So all four of you together, but switch what has become the usual pairing?

Got DD's appointment through for her 27 month check today!

In terms of speech, my Dad apparently didn't say a word until he turned 3, and then started in full and proper sentences. He's a bit of a perfectionist, and my Nan always said the he just didn't want to talk until her could do it properly!

I'm not worried about DDs language, she's a total chatterbox! I'm slightly more concerned about her motor skills. She's only recently fine going upstairs, but couldn't be left to go downstairs without someone right there. She also seems to have no clue with things like scooters and trikes. Not sure whether this might stem from her hip dysplasia and spending time in a pavlik harness when she was tiny though.

She does seem to be growing at a tremedous rate recently though! She's always been petite and in the size below the clothes she should be wearing, but she moved into 2-3 years clothes around her birthday, so spot on. She's already outgrown some of them, and the leggings are getting a little short!

I noticed a September 2017 thread on active threads the other day. I can't believe that we started on our threads three years ago!

Argh, sorry for all the typos! Rush typing over my lunch!!!

Daytona - yep very similar issues here too. In fact I think if you go back a page or two you'll find me moaning about pretty much the same thing. I've been told it might be because DH is out all day so she just gets a bit more possessive over him when he is home, but doesn't make it any easier.

Still not much progress on potty training. I agree completely that normal knickers would probably help her 'get it' quicker, but nursery insist they wear pull-ups when toilet training (I guess I can understand why) so thought we would do the same for consistency, but not sure if we should just go to knickers now.

Nazly I was wondering just now when I was in my cupboard - would your DS eat cereal bars? The ones in my cupboard are all fortified with calcium so may help get some into him.

As an aside, baby KitKat has been told she needs a scan to check for hip dysphasia as there's some clicking in her hip joints. I have a vague recollection that someone here had to have this done for their LOs. If so could you tell me what's involved? I'm at a loss how you keep a baby still for a scan.

Team if DH leaves house at all he takes robert with him as he isn't working right now and I'm on mat leave we together pretty much all the time

I'm hoping it's just a phase and there doesn't get a huge gap between us :-(

My baby William who is 5 month got a hip scan

It took a couple of minutes and it was a ultra sound like they use on your belly when pregnant , he didn't even notice and made no fuss.

Everything was fine and they told us there and then so that was end of it. Over and done in 5 minutes

DD also had a hip scan, but she did have hip dysplasia due to her very awkward breech position. She's ended up having many scans and X-rays. Just after her birthday she was finally discharged and we no longer have to go back

The scan was super simple, like Daytona said. Just laid baby on a bed with no nappy on, the doctor moved her legs around to check angles and for clicking, then did an ultrasound on her hips, just the same as for pregnancy scans. Whole thing took no more than a couple of minutes, and we also found out straight away that DD needed the pavlik harness. We went back a couple of days later to get it fitted. Fingers crossed your LO gets the all clear, but feel free to ask any questions.

Daytona, maybe it's worth trying to mix things up a little? It must feel awful if he gets upset with you and wants to go to his daddy all the time, and it must be tempting to go with that to stop him being upset. What happens when your dh has a shower, or is elsewhere in the house? Could he pop out for a few minutes on his own, or take baby for a walk around the block to give you and Robert some time together? I'm not sure what the solution is really, but it must feel horrid. These things are just a phase, and it will pass at some point, but that doesn't make it any easier now

I have a question for you ladies. Do your little ones still sleep in a cot, or are they in a proper bed? I get the feeling we should be moving DD into a bed around now, but she moves around so much in her cot, I just don't know how she would last more than an hour without ending up on the floor!

Team there will be no cot here until I absolutely have to, I am not prepared for him getting out of his bed at any time of night he wishes to!! He also moves so much ..

Kit thanks very much, I bought him a fortified biscuit and he didn't want it but I'll check the cereal bars

Fate, Thanks, I'll search that, haven't seen it in the listing sites around us though

Day I can imagine that could be difficult. May I say something with no experience whatsoever ? I feel it may have to so with baby William, he may have a feeling the baby is your favourite ; I have heard that may happen. I am a first child myself and our age gap with my brother is like your ds; I can imagine easily wanting to show I am upset in that way; I dont think he is showing his real feelings, he may just want to show you he really needs your attention? It is so difficult because with a 5 months of course the baby will need to be attached to you often... Can you not think of a way to spend one to one time with him every so often? I also think if you get daddy to take care of baby a bit he may automatically understand things better... Ultimately this is only a phase though, it will change so quickly before you even realise...

E is in a bed! He kept climbing out of his cot :( we were so reluctant to put him in a bed but we didn't have a choice. He still self settles but we have to be in the room now! And mostly he sleeps through but not always. He just comes out and finds us

Yeah I think it's something to do with that also because William is ebf he is always with me , at times I've had to push robert away in bed as he trying to climb on me screaming for a cuddle but baby was feeding this was when hubby was working away , now he home it's easier so I think I need to make time to spend with Robert

We never used a cot robert co slept untill I was 8 months pregnant then we took his toddler bed in our room

He now goes to sleep in own bed in in own room but between 10pm and 12am he always wakes and comes down corridor and into our bed

We had a real hassle keeping him in his own bed to start with so my advice would be if they sleeping happily in cot not trying to climb out leave them

Don't fix what's not broken lol I wouldn't be moving them till you really had to.

Thank you for your replies re: hip scan for DD2. I was anxious they were going to have to sedate her or something to do it so feel more reassured now. No idea exactly how long a wait we have for the scan, although I think within the next month-ish. Hopefully it'll just be a pre-cautionary thing.

We know we need to move DD1 into a bed at some point, but in no great rush as I just think bedtimes will just become a massive battle and she'll be climbing out of bed every 2 minutes! Maybe in the Spring when (hopefully!) DD1 will be sleeping a bit better at night and we've got more energy for the next battle.

On the subject of battles, how long do you think we should persist with DD1 if she's not getting toilet training? This is day 4 and not making any progress. I want to give it a decent try as obviously she's not going to get it straight away, but similarly if she's just not ready then I wonder if we should just shelve the idea for a few more months.

I would think that if there is no signs of progress, then stop and try again in a month or two. For us, the first two days were constant accidents, but on day three, something seemed to kick in.

Thanks Team. I think me and DH are going to persist gently over the weekend and if she's still not getting it then call it a day for a bit.

P.S. Well done cookielove on your voucher win on the Mumsnet survey / product testing page (there's a list of winners on there and I was chuffed to see you had won)!

Oh wow - what have you won cookie?!

Oh, Cookie, how exciting. What is this all about?!

Another question for you all. Are your LOs still having daytime naps, and if so, for how long? Nursery said one day this week DD was really difficult to get down for her nap, and she's currently in her cot singing to herself having been in there for just over half an hour. I'm wondering if she's moving towards not needing her nap? When do they usually do that?

Ahh, oddly Team we're having similar issues. Stares at baby monitor willing DD to settle for a nap Maybe it is about now they nap drop? That would be a holy nightmare bit of a shame.

My older children were each around 3y6m, 3y and 4y6m respectively when they fully dropped the afternoon nap. The transition started about 6 months earlier.

DD sleeps minimum of 3h at lunchtime, she will go longer if I didn't have to wake her for the school run. Night times are also getting longer. She used to sleep 11h at now and it's now routinely 12h per night. She sleeps 12-3pm and 7.30-7.30.

Shes always been well routined in her sleep though and naps and bedtime are never a battle.

Well, she hasn't slept, but she's grumpy as hell and being a nightmare. DH has just taken her out to scoot around the block, and then might try to get her to have a ten minute nap in her pushchair, otherwise it will be like a scene from The Exorcist here until dinnertime!

That's the main reason I wouldn't drop it Team. I can't be doing with whinging and having to work at keeping a grumpy chìd happy.

On another note, bought DD a pair or leather boots in the sales. First pair of shoes she can put on completely independantly.

I was remembering this week that our nursery give our tick sheet of "Can your child do these things?" when they first start. Things like put their own coat on, put shoes on, get dressed, pull up/down trousers/tights, wipe bottom. I've got exactly a year to work on these things.

Time flies way too fast.

Hello all :)

I won £300 in love to shop vouchers for completing the nurofen survey :) I have yet to receive them so will chase that up!

E is dropping his nap to! Because he is in a bed it is harder to get him to stay in it so of he naps he does in the car or pure exhaustion randomly in the living room 😂

Congratulations cookie that's a lovely suprise.

I can't remember who has said what now so apologies.

Naps. He has never been a great napper. We were getting on average an hour and twenty minutes at lunchtime (I dream of 3 hour naps FATE!) but over Christmas it has dropped to 45-60 minutes. He goes down reliably when he is with my mum but fights it with us. On the plus side he is now consistently waking at 6.15am instead of 5am! We did try restricting nap time briefly last year but it made no difference so I think this is just a natural development.

Cots. He is still in a cot, it is a cot bed so slightly bigger but he is a big boy and it seems a bit small to me. He still hasn't realised he is big enough to climb out so we don't want to rock the boat. He does end up in bed with us most nights though.

I can't help at all with the preference thing, he is a proper mummys boy - if I'm not around he is great with DH but when I am there he says 'go away Daddy'. It's not that bad though. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

He can't put shoes on yet apart from his wellies, usually on the wrong feet but he loves his wellies!

As for toilet training - am dodging that one for now! He sometimes asks to go, he will stand on the step over the loo and aim but can never squeeze anything out.

Lovely new year suprise cookie. Treat yourself

Oh No! What is that checklist all about Fate?
DS is an August boy being born pre- mature and this year can go to pre school with 3 yr old kids; he is just not ready for that we think

After discussing a lot with dh we thought it would be difficult for ds to be in a child care and also in school in a few months ; despite this making sense financially we think he is just not ready yet ; so we may stick with nursery - if we find one !!!

Cookie, that's lovely - those vouchers are so usable too, good in so so many shops

Congrats Cookie hope they arrive soon.

A is dropping his naps (having said that he is snoring away beside me now ). Doesn't nap at all at nursery, and at weekends it is hit or miss. If he is really tired he will climb up on the sofa and drop off, but forcing him is a no go.

He has a cot bed, and we have took the sides off now. First couple of nights we went up to find him on the floor, but since then he has been fine. Doesn't even get up in the mornings when he wakens, just sits up and shouts for us!