June 2013 - the terrible twos aren't so terrible

[Biscuitswithtea]

Here goes with a new thread!

Thanks folks. I mentioned to a friend that I was finding the baby rather boring this time and was looking forward to her getting bigger.

DH came to me later and asked if it was true. When I said it was he said "thank god. I thought it was just me and I was a horrible father for thinking it"

Hugs Sunny - just one of those issues would be tough to deal with, all of them and functioning daily with a toddler, well, I can't imagine. Fingers crossed as and when things get sorted and she gets that bit bigger things start to improve for you.

I was talking to my neighbour the other day, who has a 6 week old, and she was saying how much she had struggled with the bf and had just gone to bottles and ff - because her lg was taking at least 45 minutes to feed and she couldn't get anything done. And that in the evenings she was feeding for hours - she said she felt like she was really failing her dd as clearly wasn't doing it right.
I didn't have the heart to tell her her dd sounded normal and that she was doing everything right. I did tell her that what ever worked for them was all they could do and that their will be many times she questions things and that altho I'm no expert I was only next door if she ever needed anything or just to rant etc.

Night time dryness - is anyone having any luck with this? Dd loves her milk to settle with and has odd drinks from her water during the night. Subsequently her nappies at night are quite full. Tbh she has only very recently started sleeping well, and I'm slightly not wanting to change bedtime routine just in the hope she stays dry, but feel maybe I should be?
No drinks after dinner? Not quite sure how to go about it even if I did want to start.

Argh night time wees are the bane of my life. As soon as she sorted daytime she announced that she no longer wanted to use nappies at all and now wakes up for a wee once or twice a night. I really can't be arsed with this. The baby more or less sleeps through and now this! She's not reliable though. Will often have wee in her nappy in the morning. Think as a general position night time dryness is achieved when enough of a hormone suppressing urination is present. Not much you can do until it is

Sunny, I feel for you...the newborn stage when you already have another child who needs you is bloody hard. Especially if they aren't an easy baby (two babies with different dairy allergies made life very tough for us until sorted).

I hope you get to the bottom of the kidney and hip issues too.

My daughter has a bladder of steel. Hates the potty to the extent of weeing just twice in 10 hours! She did do one on the potty though. And sat on the loo for a bit. But she just won't let go and wee! And no poo today...I think she holds it in when not wearing a nappy. I think we might just put her in knickers and be done with. She can clearly hold her wee in!

But, onto the night theme. No chance as she seems to be making up for the lack of wee during the day at the moment!

Phew - glad it's not just dd - it was after a conversation with some parents at nursery that got me thinking about it all.
I have managed the last two nights to get dd not to have a 'baby bottle' and have her milk from a different cup which I'm quite pleased about, I never thought she would give them up - and she has slept just as well as she was before!

This has also resulted in much less wee! So I sort of feel progress is starting... Until the other lady at nursery who is a childminder I wasn't worried about nappies at night and then suddenly worried if I should be!

Bean I'm impressed she wakes up to wee. We leave a potty in Lily's room for her but she only uses it when awake - she still wears a pull up and most mornings it is wet. From reading up I think it's perfectly normal to be dry during the day but wet at night for quite a while.

Hungry Lil had an amazing ability to hold her wee. We did the same and just took her nappies off and eventually she had to wee. I was naughty and kept offering her drinks like fruit shoots (toddler crack) to make her wee quicker.

We give cartons of juice drink to do the same. And she still holds it in!

We've decided to just go for it now too. She's capable, but probably confused with the starting and stopping of it. Though she's not managed a poo yet, so we will give her pants for that if necessary.

And this morning's conversation I hadn't ever imagined having: talking to DD about how amazing it feels to have had a wee when you really need one! :-)

Hips are all clear!!!! Apparently she's just quite flexible. Phew! Really pleased with that result

Whoop! Excellent news. :-)

That's brilliant Sunny :) Must be such a relief.

Hope everyone's getting on okay? Muddling along okay here. Am on my way to physio appt & hoping she has a magic wand!

Interesting potty training development this morning...when I went into her, DD had taken her nappy off and was sitting on the potty. Bearing in mind she's never been one to take her nappy off before, this is very interesting indeed!

She still hasn't done her morning wee though. #bladderofsteel

Nice Horace - hope she's peed by now!

Have you guys started pocket money yet? I attempted to give her money today and it didn't really work out. She just kept demanding my pennies instead of using hers

She has had approx 3 wees all day! But the last one she said she needed it and sat on the potty, so she's improving (most are from being reminded to sit on the bloody thing!).

I've considered pocket money but decided against it. I think she might get it more when she's 4.

I can't see what purpose pocket money would serve in a world where if you scream loud enough you get what you want:)

Any of you got thyroid issues? Comes under massive pressure in pregnancy apparently and mine never recovered. Now am fat, slow, lethargic, tired, always cold and not responding to thyroxin.

Great news Sunny.

Oh no, bean. What's the next step if you're not responding to thyroxin?

I don't think I have thyroid issues, though I am everything you listed. I have eyes that are falling apart and broken muscles (I'm due two more operations in the near future), I don't need anything else. I'm not allowed to exercise full stop now which is quite depressing as I was a big exerciser up until my last pregnancy.

Good news, hungry, it's a start!

No pocket money here and I don't think we will for a while yet.

I think I must be ok, thyroid-wise, as I had a full blood test the other month and I've not been told otherwise. Thyroid issues run in my family, so I'm wary about something happening.

What's the next step if you aren't responding to treatment? My friend knows loads about this kind of thing and is a member of a few support groups. If you want me to put you in touch with her let me know (I've an inkling her thyroid issues may have prevented her from having children, but it's obviously not the done thing to ask).

Is that no exercise because of the risk of your cornea detaching? How grim for you. I wonder if you were at work if you'd be signed off?

Hopefully thyroid will respond to higher dose. Some people just don't though. Most of the symptoms are just those I'd associate with small children but what sent me to the doctor was the constant pins and needles. I'd diagnosed myself with MS. This is better!

And yeah if you want get your thyroid stable then you shouldn't conceive as can cause a lot of problems

Oh gosh yes, better than MS! I hope the increased dose works. I also had a slightly numb, slightly tingly hand up until a couple of months ago but put it down to my section as it did weird things the first time. And a slightly numb cheek a couple of times. Thyroid issues in my family too (really should find out more).

Yes, my eyes are one reason. One retina has detached and six months after surgery still hasn't healed (surgery is to encourage it to reattach). The other retina now has tears and will detach in the near future. Because they also discovered I have cataracts they don't want to operate on the one with tears until it actually detaches and is an emergency situation again. Which isn't ideal when you have two children and a husband who works away regularly! They've said no exercise or heavy lifting. My vision goes funny when my heart rate increases. I'm just hoping it holds until after our holiday and their birthdays!

I also have a hernia caused by a five week cough during pregnancy which needs surgery so had already been told to avoid abdominal exercises.

And to top it off my PGP/SPD has returned months after it disappeared. GP says with everything I need to stay as inactive as possible (it does help the PGP).

I was wondering that about work. I'd certainly be needing a lot of time off. I'm also not sure that looking at a computer screen for most of the day would be ideal either. The vision in my operated on eye is pretty rubbish even with glasses now so I'm dreading surgery on the other.

Bloomin heck Cup that's a lot to deal with. Not sure there is much I can say to make you feel better but I'm impressed you sound so chirpy.

Bean I got my thyroid checked after having Lil because of my sleeping issues. Turns out it was just my work stress affecting my sleep which was almost disappointing because there is no pill for an unsupportive boss

Cup - blimey. I hadn't realised you had had all that to deal with :( Pregnancy can play havoc can't it?!?

No thyroid issues here thank goodness. My eyes were a bit iffy for a year or two after ds was born but sorted themselves out. The eye consultant who I ended up being referred to thought it might happen again if pregnant again. Time will tell!

Sunny - how are you and miniest Sunny getting on?

Am in a co-sleeper quandary. A friends has kindly offered to lend us her bednest. All things being equal it wouldn't be our first choice, I think that would be a snuzpod. But am I being a bit daft? It would save us some money if we only had to get a mattress obviously... Sigh. Decisions are hard sometimes!

We liked the bednest. It's fairly short though and neither child has got more than 5 months' use out of it, to be honest.

But...if you only need a mattress then that's not so bad.

Well after a spot of measuring, the bednest has been deemed a bit too wide so that's solved that anyway!

We've suddenly bumped up against unappealing behaviour from ds in the form of spitting at things/people on a v regular basis. He seems to only do it when DH or I are around so it is a blatant boundary test/attention thing. He doesn't do it at nursery.
We try ignoring it, we try time out, we try making him clean up the mess if he has spat on the floor. It's driving me potty! I fear we got off lightly with crappy toddler behaviour until now - but what to do?!?

Hi Biscuits - we're having a similar issue with scratching. Only happens to me or DH and horribly last week her little sister. Like you say it's a boundary testing thing. If I send her to her bedroom for 20 seconds things descalate immediately but I hate shouting and being horrible. We can do the more gentle methods but then that also smacks of giving her attention for bad behaviour. Not really sure what to do since it almost always happens when I've got the least energy to cope with it.

How you feeling now?

Glad we're not alone Sunny but sorry you're having your boundaries tested too. I noticed yesterday that nursery staff respond to unappealing behaviour with a very calm, almost disinterested, 'no don't do that please, it's dirty (or whatever is most applicable to the situation)' and then move straight on. It works. I think part of the challenge is that when it is your own child then it presses extra buttons. So we are going to try this for a while and see. It's horrid getting cross with him, especially since it doesn't seem to help any of us. And part of the issue (for us, at least) is that we are busier and more distracted by all that's going on. DS wants our attention and can't understand why he isn't always getting it exactly as he wants. Ignoring his spitting means that he still feels ignored, getting cross with him means that he feels like he got our attention (a win in his little head no doubt). So I can see the logic in nursery's approach...

I am doing okay. 29 and a bit weeks now. Super tired and PGP has returned. However midwife is doing bloods this am which will tell me either that I need iron tablets or that I need to slow down!