June 2013 - the terrible twos aren't so terrible

[Biscuitswithtea]

Here goes with a new thread!

DS stayed with us until about 9 months, cup. I didn't want to send him to his own room!

And how he's often in with us after about 2am. Lessens awake time!

Legally they can't insist a child is toilet trained but obviously for the kids benefit it's better if they are if they are in an environment where most are. Cup there are no penalties for taking her out of nursery if you need to. I guess she needs to go to prepare her for school but you don't have to treat it like school if you get what I mean? Though if yours is anything like most kids you will get a lot of grief for daring to take her away. Polly would be devastated!

We are finally having luck on the toilet training front. She watched Matilda, is desperate to go to school and knows that you can't wear nappies at school and that was that. All wee and poo in loo since. Some accidents but mainly because we didn't get her there in time. She will absolutely not use the potty. Even at nursery she's making it in time more or less but no potty. This does my nut as I feel like I can't go anywhere without a loo right now!

Suddenly feels so grown up. After her bath I do her nappy but she does her clothes, teeth, chooses a book, gets into bed, reads it to herself and waits till I'm done with Juno. Sometimes just goes to sleep. Doesn't seem that long ago she was in a sleep suit, sleeping bag and cot! But I guess it's been nearly a year. Life is much easier at bedtime since she dropped her nap, though harder in every other bit of the day!

I would love to have my snuggley sleeping baby next to me. But she sings when she wakes in the night, often for an hour. Doesn't need us. Just wants a sing. I'm back at work now and do not need that in my ear! Work is a blessed relief. I'm using my brain. There are people there who want to drink wine with me after work. It's brilliant!

Nursery sent all her nappies home today. I've been keeping her in nappies for naps but clearly nursery don't think she needs anything now. Wowzer - didn't think it would happen this fast.

I've spent all day in bed today with flu. This means Lil took advantage of Daddy and has properly worn him out!

I think Polly just got to the point that she wants to be a big girl and that was that. I guess they all get there at their own pace.

Oh your girls are all so good. Joe will do wees on the loo every morning on getting up and then every night before bath. Is stoked, loves it. Less keen on visiting at other times. LOVES his big boy undies but since doing a lovely big crap in them last Sunday prefers to have them laying around than actually on his peachy little butt.

No idea what to do. He's a bit off colour generally so wonder if I should wait a bit longer to crack on BUT our the trip to Oz is in less than two months and I'd really prefer to get it sorted, at least in daytime, before then.

Bean Joe is the same as Polly, not interested in the potty one bit. We got quite fancy loo toppers and a really basic potty. Glad it was that way around...

Good to know that there are no penalties for taking them out but I think you still have to ask for permission? It would probably be easier if she went to a private nursery? It's rare that we do that anyway, but I'd like the option until she's 4.

Well done Polly! And I'm glad work is going well.

We still haven't started toilet training properly. I think she'd be too big to sit comfortably on a potty so we haven't got one.

Oh and well done to your little one Sunny!

Wait, you have to provide nappies to the nursery Sunny?? Regardless, well done on the potty training!

DS wanted to wear pants last night before his bath. And then did a wee on the bathroom floor. He's blatantly not ready! This is fine. I'm hoping that a- the new bathroom (once it's finished, sob) will inspire him and b- he's treating this like all other milestones (crawling, walking, talking) which all came a bit later but he immediately got it each time :)

Where is good to get cute undies for little boys, btw?
We haven't really (at all!) started yet but should really crack on.
Well done to those girlies!

Sunbeam I have some Bonds ones from home which are my favourite but otherwise I took J to M&S and he picked some out there.....they're soft enough, proper quality cotton and not scratchy.

I don't see why you'd have to ask permission. You are paying them effectively. Either directly or by way of funding. I guess they'd get hacked off if you didn't turn up much as that's a place another child could have but I don't see why you should feel compelled to attend all the time.

The other thing is that school attendance isn't compulsory even in reception so you can take them out then if you need to. I don't think that the best idea personally but it is an option

DD struggles with the low rise nature of potties. She's about to hit 1m tall now!

But she's still not quite getting potty training. She can recite the bloody alphabet though, so she's learning something, just not how to avoid nappies!

She's struggling with her back teeth and with being 2.5 generally at the moment (as in her limitations when compared with her desire to do stuff!). She was crying that she 'gets everything wrong' at the weekend. :-( Breaks my heart, poor chick.

We get a lot of 'I'm too little' when she can't get stuff which makes me feel bad for her!

Also, meant to ask about the word bad. Do you say 'you are being bad' or 'that's really bad behaviour'? I had been when her behaviour was really atrocious and she had to go in her room to calm down. But then when I got her she said 'I have been bad' and that made me feel awful. I should have said naughty maybe, or something else?? Nursery say cheeky but she was being really mean!

Hmmm. I think I say 'that's naughty, please don't do that'. Or 'that's dangerous' for stuff that's not safe but also not naughty. We're really careful to make it about the behaviour rather than him per se, if you see what I mean? mostly because dh & I both work in mental health and are too bloody mindful about these things!

Re pants - Mothercare was a hit for us. Nice dinosaur pants never thought I'd say that and crucially small enough at 12-18m. DS is ideally proportioned for a potty (he's c85cm). Whenever he sits on the loo, even with the special toddler seat, it just looks precarious and uncomfy!

Bean I try to say things like 'when you are being rude/unkind/hitting/naughty it isn't very nice. We try to be gentle and kind'. This is often not said so gently as he is hailed to the step or (his preference) the wall (!!!). And when he does nice stuff I try to notice and verbalise it, without being too woo-woo hippy, and say it makes me happy/proud/etc. Christ knows if it makes a jot of difference.

I've told DH that he needs to refer to the behaviour being bad / naughty / not nice, not her. I'd not thought about it overly 'til I read it on here.

DD has been putting the knickers on that she chose last weekend today. Progress!

A friend told me about a friend who had had a really bad time (recently lost a parent and husband left her) and wanted to take her 4 year old away for a week. She had a lot of grief from the school! They wouldn't agree but she took them out anyway. Not our school but not far away.

Ha, hungry. Ditto to the alphabet and potty training (though she's just not fussed about having to wear nappies, even though she loves the knickers that she chose).

Yes, you're supposed to refer to the behaviour. We usually use naughty. Though I don't always have time to think it through fully if I'm angry!

That's really good advice. Will try and remember to refer to the behaviour in the future. Though like you say cup it's difficult in the heat of the moment, like when they are about to run in the road!

On the pants front I would deffo recommend cheap and nasty for the very early days. You are probably going to want to chuck rather than keep!

2 year olds can be quite smart sometimes. Lil declared today i needed calpol because I wasn't well (recovering from flu).

Re giving ticking offs I've had similar advice from wise folks. Tell them the behaviour is naughty not the child. I've started using the whole 1,2,3 super nanny thing. Haven't actually gotten to 3 yet - probably need a game plan though cos one day soon she's going to push me far enough to call my bluff

Oh Sunny. Flu is crap at the best of times. But flu + pregnant is extra crap. Hope you feel better soon.

I'm quietly freaking out. I walked a reasonable bit today, though by no means masses by my standards - prob c4miles over the day. But now my hips and top of bum are so sore. It feels like I just want to physically hold it all together. I had PGP with DS, though not til much later. If it's kicking in now, I'm totally f**ked aren't I?? :( :(

Feel better soon sunny!

Biscuits - Physio! Did you have any last time? Or one of those belts, that literally do hold everything together. One of the physios in the clinic I work in specialises in pgp and it's amazing to see the difference it can all make.

Oh no sunny didn't you get a flu jab? I had flu once. Three weeks in a delirious state. Bugs me when people say they have flu and are back at work the next day. You had a bloody cold not the flu!!

Thanks folks. I still feel completely floored but the GP gave me a once over and all is well.

Biscuits I'm doing a yoga class this time round and she reckons its a good way or warding off spd since it keeps you flexible. Happy to share her details with you if you fancy it. She also reckons she can help me reduce my chances of a back to back baby.

I had PGP/SPD with my second pregnancy. It was horrendous and the reason I couldn't start toilet training when DD was ready (there were times that I couldn't move even a few steps as I was in such agony and we only have an upstairs loo). I also had to stop exercising early on whereas I'd carried on throughout with DD. I just suffered; they referred me for physio but it turned out they only did classes and they were in a location that was difficult for me to get to without a car (and with the pain I was in!) so I couldn't go. I was advised to take paracetamol before I needed to walk (helpful - I would have needed it constantly!). Mine started early; I had a five week non-stop cough in early pregnancy that caused two small hernias (awaiting an op which I'm dreading after already having had emergency surgery for something else a few months back) so it probably didn't help that area either (I was [sob] a regular exerciser and have always been flexible too). Mine was low down and in the centre though. I also developed sciatica later on! First pregnancy was a breeze!

Hope you feel better soon, sunny.