June 2013: Here come the terrible twos!

[HungryHorace]

New thread. :-)

She's clearly not sorting that behaviour out properly. DD isn't at nursery but we certainly wouldn't tolerate that behaviour. Sadly DD always seems to attract the attention of that kind of child at playgroups / parties and just looks baffled as to why they aren't being nice to her.

As to what to do, I've no idea. It's a tricky one to broach! Can she come round when Polly is at nursery? Won't help his behaviour, but at least she won't be there to be terrorised.

How many of us haven't got to 2 yet? I'm sure I was one of the last to go with DD!

We had the first dentist visit proper yesterday. She's been before to get used to it but this was the first attempted look in her mouth. She wasn't cooperative! Maybe next time. She did like the sticker though. :-)

I think they do have set nappy times plus any smelly ones. But the bit that I was really about was that he was getting changed when I collected him - and that was the leaky nappy. He was handed over to me by, I assume, the person who changed him as she was telling me about his lack of vest.

You're right of course that we can't expect 1-1 care and it's useful to remember that from time to time.

I think really my issue was that normally his nursery is simply brilliant. Yesterday there were a handful of little things that accumulated. And if he hadn't been so sick yesterday evening then I wouldn't have thought much more about it. An unfortunate coincidence.

Bean- can you meet your friend elsewhere? At the park maybe? Somewhere where the monster child can charge about??

Round here our local playgroup seems good for parents of children of different age groups. There's always children of a similar age, regardless of what that age is. You get to meet mums who you hopefully like - and it matters less if the children of the friendly parents are the ones who your dcs warm to.

Bean, do you go to any local parent and baby/toddler groups? My worst nightmare in theory but our local ones are lovely. The original one I went to was for first time mums and children up to a year old, so I don't go to that any more (though I'm often told they'd be happy to see us all there). The next one up (that we go to now) is for all ages, from birth to school age (4/5). So DD gets to interact with children of all ages; she loves older children. I've made some lovely friends too. DH took DD after I'd had this baby and came back with cards and gifts and said he'd had lots of people asking after us. This has made me realise that I have more support out there than I realised. DH has since gone back for more so it must be ok! I've made a couple of friends that I meet up with outside of the group (me - shock!) and one has offered to take DD to her house to play with her child, to give me a break (well, time alone with baby anyway!).

DD isn't at nursery and we wouldn't tolerate that behaviour either! She sounds a nightmare, and I'd be avoiding her, personally. There is one girl like that at the group and her carer is lovely and does all the right things in public but the child is just evil. In my opinion (I have low tolerance for other people's kids at the best of times) . Though Mrs81's monster child might be a better term!

Hungry, did she not let the dentist look at all? We have our second trip to the dentist today. DD did let her look last time but wasn't happy about it! She knows about the dentist appointment and what's going to happen this time so I wonder if she'll be better about it...

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that nursery is the great moderator of behaviour, just that kids who go to nursery are probably more used to having to share, not get their own way etc! She did give him a telling off but he just carried on. What would you do in that situation? Polly would be sent to the naughty step in a flash. She knows when she's done something wrong. He didn't seem to clock that wasn't ok at all.

The last couple of times I've been to her flat and he's been asleep so we've avoided it! I may start going there when Polly is in nursery as you suggest.

Dentist- there is a peppa pig episode where they go to the dentist which helps! Also we go at different times so she gets two visits.

Baby groups; there is basically nothing on at the right times anywhere local. Except at churches which I won't go to. I know they aren't all the same but the local one does hymns and prayers at the end. Not for us at all. I would like stuff to do with both of them on a Monday. I suspect we will end up in soft play!

Hmmm. Maybe monster child is a bit harsh! ;)

I was at a playdate recently with quite a few mums and toddlers. One toddler, who I hadn't met before, was waving a kids broom around and clobbered me on the head. Better me than another child cause it did hurt, but the mother just said 'ooh, sorry. He thinks it's a golf club.' In my head I was !!!!!! even if he did think that, it doesn't make it okay to wave it around indoors around lots of littlies.

I've been wearing braces for a couple of years and have only recently had them off so DD has had lots of experience of visiting dentists and orthodontists! She used to get upset when they went into my mouth with instruments! But she was fine once she understood that they weren't hurting me.

Church groups are the only option around here. They wouldn't have been my first choice (says the girl who was brought up Catholic and went to Catholic school until age 18!). DH is an atheist too. There are no prayers and hymns thankfully, but they do one song just before the biscuits thanking god for the water/ squash and biscuits. I didn't tell DH before he went . He wasn't impressed! But it only lasts for 20 seconds so he lets it go.

Our playgroup is in a church hall too but there is no religious stuff at all in the group.

That kid sounds a nightmare, bean.

We are still not yet 2, Hungry! 25 June is the big day.

We are considering nursery/playgroup where they are left without the parent for the first time. Up till now we have just looked after DS ourselves but I think he'd benefit from some structured time with other kids now he's almost 2. We are going to visit two local nurseries next week with a view to maybe 2 days in the long term. The playgroup is two mornings per week only. Not sure how to decide what would be best??

She let them look a bit, cup, but didn't 'open wide'. But in fairness she won't let us bloody look either! I'm going in September, so may take her with me then as well.

DS was looked at s bit as he has 8 (almost 9) teeth already. But he will be properly looked at next time.

DD liked her stickers! :-)

Sunbeam, DD is going for 2 mornings a week in September. She really needs it too now. I think this is a good age to send them (if they don't have nursery).

Interesting the mum of the horror child is entitled to free nursery from 2 instead of 3 as her husband is currently a student but they have decided not to take it up. I think he would probably benefit!

Have any of you been to the two year check as yet? I'm not sure I can be bothered. I'm pretty confident she's doing fine and I kind of assume nursery would flag any developmental concerns, having way more to do with small children than I do! We have a friend who is a speech therapist and I thought I'd invite her round and get her to do a surreptitious speech assessment:-)

Sunbeam - wait and see what it's like when you visit them. Our original 1st choice nursery resulted in me going home in tears after the visit. 2nd choice was brilliant from the get go. I just knew straight away that they would take their time with ds. They are kind and patient and clearly care about their children. I know I was grumbling about yesterday but that a- wasn't a massive deal, more odd, and b- was the first time I've felt iffy in 10 months.

Good luck with the visits!

Oh, and no 2yr check yet here. He's not had a developmental check since 8wks so I don't hold my breath for a 2yr one! Am not particularly worried about him which means I'm easyosey about going to one.

At least they got a little look. I can't see DD opening wide on demand for the dentist! Stickers would go down well but I don't think they have them at our surgery. One of the dental nurses at the orthodontists would walk around with her and give her a couple when she got upset while I was in the chair (something extra to add on her CV!); she would hold onto them for most of day! Your DS is doing well with teeth then, hungry. DD still only has 14.

No mention of a two year check here yet. DD had a developmental check at 18 months though. We'll be seeing her HV next week (she'll be coming to see DS) so will check then. I wonder if she could do it at the same time. We have no concerns whatsoever with DD; she's doing great in all areas and pretty advanced in terms of learning and speech. To think I worried about lack of babbling etc when she was a baby. Will be more relaxed with DS.

Bean, I'm sure nursery would flag up any concerns. The nursery of a child exactly the same age as DD has flagged up concerns with his lack of speech (and advised his parents to take away his dummy as they think that could be affecting his development - they're not usually an issue but he does seem to have it a lot).

We have the 2 year check on 29th at the same time as DS' 1 year check. I'm. It sure it wouldn't have happened so soon after her 2nd birthday without DS needing his check.

DH loved the pre school DD is going to (as did DD!). He really like both the setting and the staff.

That went well . Last time, DD had been in her pushchair and just had to stay in it for her check. This time, I (stupidly) didn't bring it as DH came along. As soon as the dentist asked her to sit on my knee in the chair she cried! And cried. The arm thing was over it and it did look scary from her point of view I guess. On the positive, the dentist said that crying makes it easier for her to see the teeth! No stickers or anything for kids - so no incentive for next time!

Hi All!

Bean - that kid sounds like a pain in the ass but I guess there are ways around seeing him too often if you go when he's asleep or P is at nursery, but it seems weird that the mum doesn't want to farm him out at least a day or two a week to be someone else's problem!

OMG you are all amazing with the dentist thing. I still give myself a metaphorical pat on the back every night when we get a thorough tooth brushing done on the 'special step and the sink' - I find myself saying special this and magic that to get him interested in stuff. Totally unlikely he understands why but my forced enthusiasm seems to work. So far! He has to have horrid bitter medicine twice a day to help with his dodgy throat and he is happy to take it with the AMAZING reward of a sip out of my water bottle. Long live simple pleasures...

Regards the 2-year check - I am just ignoring the health visitor requests for it and just waiting till the next hospital visit. I think by now you get a pretty good sense of whether they're developing in the way they should. I've a mate with an 18 month old who isn't saying a single word yet and she's starting to worry.

I've just submitted a big (horrid and about a grim thing) report I was commissioned to do. It ended up being 25,000 words long and my brain is now visibly leaking out my ears yet I am filled with a weird euphoria it's finally done! Now I can look forward to our trip to Italy on Thursday.

How is everyone doing anyway? Joe is being hilarious and big whiny monster in equal measures, though I will say that I think this is much easier to deal with than six months ago when they had all the capacity but none of the logic or motivation they have now.

Hmmm...thorough toothbrushing? We struggle with that as DD thrashes around so hard. She used to be fine but since her molars came through has detested this task. :-/

I'm not worried about DD at all, but having a baby who's 1 around the same time as the other is 2 means a HV is coming round whatever! So they both get done. :-)

Cup, DD sat on DH's lap yesterday and was fine. She stayed there for his check up too!

HungryHorace - we have a step he's keen to get up on and use to reach the tap so whilst he does that I get his head in a grip with one hand and scrub away with the other. And by thorough I mean successfully getting the toothbrush (i) in his mouth, and (ii) making contact each surface of each tooth. That's about it. Not sure how much else is possible without nuclear meltdown....

Anyone else's little darlings full of the whinge? ALL THE WHINGE?

Luckily she's fine with having her teeth brushed!

Yes. THE WHINGE is ever-present here too. Though she's also very cute and very funny. But dear god, stop belly aching! Over bugger all.

The last three days have been full of whinge. Admittedly she hasn't been well. Some horrid viral infection that has made her a cling on. I haven't been able to get anything done without a protest or not so small child attached.

I have just put her down for a nap in her cot, she is loudly protesting at this too. We had new neighbours move in on Sunday, I feel sorry for them!

I'm afraid toothbrushing in this house typically involves me sitting on a chair and pinning M down on my lap, using a leg to wrap round his middle, one arm to pin his arms down and the other to attack his teeth. While he screams the house down, obvs. He's not a fan!

I'm not sure what the neighbours think I'm doing to him... :o

Phew! Was a little panicky that I couldn't find you.

I'm away with work overseas for the last 10 days. I have to wait until Friday morning for a squish.

I've watched all my videos of her on my phone and i still miss her. Please regale me with lovely stories about what your little ones have got up to today to let me live vicariously through you!

HOW do you cope Sunny?? I've not yet had a night away from ds. I think I'd manage until about 4am then really really miss him. I'm away for a hen weekend in August and I'm slightly dreading it!! I know I need to get a grip

Cute stories?
DS has discovered dancing to music. It's so sweet and unaffected. I must try and video it on my phone sometime.
Part of his bedtime routine has become saying 'night night' to each toy that he ignored for 2yrs in his cot. He falls asleep in a sea of soft toys

Less cute (so you don't get too homesick):
He did a massive poo in the bath the other night DH was on bath duty and I came into the bathroom to discover it scooped up in a plastic beaker (our house is old and weird so loo is in a different room). My birthday treat was disposing of said gift!!!

I will make you never want to come home again. I have had two weekends away in the last two years and was wistfully thinking earlier about when my next one might be! I'd love to travel for work. There is a job in extradition which would require several trips a year to New York!

Anyway. My two have been playing each other off against me. Polly tells Juno to distract me by shouting for milk and then opens the freezer just enough so I don't notice until later when stuff is defrosting. Or uses her step to access the knife drawer.

Polly has started literally jumping for joy which is quite sweet though, and Juno is smiling. Though when Polly is in the room she mainly looks on in horror. Polly is good with her sister though, lots of hugs etc!