March '13 - packing up our troubles and getting excited about the new babies

[ecofreckle]

It's that time again. This thread is going to explode with squishy babies. Which is nice.

plonky a supportive partner is a must for a homebirth so just keep talking and see how things go. The thing that made up my husbands mind was being presented with all the statistics about hospital births and rates of intervention etc (which are scarily high at my local hospital and it's not even that bad compared to other units). There is also a recent study showing that homebirth is much safer for second births than going to hospital (from the last few years) which may be worth digging up for him to read - can't find it at the moment as on my phone. We had independent midwives who look after mainly high risk women (high risk from a NHS perspective) who have homebirth and the statistics for intervention and transfer and pain relief use are tiny for a good reason. My DH is very statistic and logic driven so it was an easy decision. But I really appreciated him being 100 per cent on board and if he wasn't I think this would have altered my decision making as well.

I know Rainbow, it's a tricky one to navigate. He really seems quite anxious about it, so I'm not sure that presenting him with statistics is the way to go. Thing is, when DS was born, it was an emergency situation, he wasn't breathing well and was quite a sight from meconium staining. I don't remember any of this, but he does.

Now I know that all of those things can be dealt with well at home, and that a transfer would still have to be done. I also know that if I were him I'd feel the same. I have to respect that. If the MLU wasn't an option then I'd fight for the homebirth, but it's there. It's at the hospital without being of the hospital. The only thing I'm not keen on is dealing with getting in a car when I'm in labour, but that's a small price to pay for a supportive birth partner.

I know Rainbow, it's a tricky one to navigate. He really seems quite anxious about it, so I'm not sure that presenting him with statistics is the way to go. Thing is, when DS was born, it was an emergency situation, he wasn't breathing well and was quite a sight from meconium staining. I don't remember any of this, but he does.

Now I know that all of those things can be dealt with well at home, and that a transfer would still have to be done. I also know that if I were him I'd feel the same. I have to respect that. If the MLU wasn't an option then I'd fight for the homebirth, but it's there. It's at the hospital without being of the hospital. The only thing I'm not keen on is dealing with getting in a car when I'm in labour, but that's a small price to pay for a truly supportive birth partner.

I'm going to be one of those nutters with a double sided A4 birth plan though.

Ha plonk I didn't bother with a birth plan. If I had it would have said Epidural and that's it. Is it a long way to be in the car if you go to the MLU? Whilst I would never have planned a home birth I was lucky in that it took us about 3 minutes to get to the hospital- and that was uncomfortable enough. Definitely the advantage to giving birth at an obscenely early time of the morning! Hope you are happy with whatever you guys decide.
wotta it's just for an expressed bottle. I'm going to try keeping it up for a bit longer then think about switching it to a formula bottle if it's too much. Not worried about my supply really. That one bottle is definitely keeping my sanity though!!
Life is ok with two thanks plonk. Give me a bit more sleep and we will be all good.
Hi to everyone else. Baby brain has kicked in but hope everyone else well. Enjoy this week worse!

Plonky it's the 2011 Birthplace study that gives the risk and benefit information for home birth/MLU/obstetric units.

link

Feel free to ask if you've any questions about your birth plan etc or things you're worried about happening if you did end up in hospital.

I shattered my phone screen so am disabled using husband's old one. brevity is key until it's fixed.

Am on holiday on South Coast. Been to land of worse and gerry today. Perfect summer day. Just gorgeous.

Plonk midwife unit sounds good compromise. Did I send you my birth plan? You could still achieve most of that away from home.

Shattered how many times is he feeding a night? Do you fall asleep again afterwards again okay? I tried pumping at crux times to get a block of sleep thanks to a bottle feed which was great but a pain in the bum. Hoping his feed pattern evens out soon. When it does it'll feel no end better. I have carried on breastfeeding this long because after those challenging first months it got easy. Easy for me, suited my girl, so was win win. Not sure i have any pearls of wisdom therefore, but focus on it getting easier. You know Kelly mom has great advice?

This has taken forever to type so I'll bid you all good night and shave my legs. Third anniversary tomorrow

Thanks Betty I'll have a look when I'm at work later. Will bother you with questions when I have had time to think about it.

I think birth centre it is!

Ds went up to the older toddlers room yesterday. By all accounts he loved it. The shape of the building means he's now in a conservatory room (complete with toddler music lessons) and the outside doors are open all year round, so roaming is encouraged. Very pleased. Will be sad to pull him out.

P.s eco so third anniversary of ecotods conception? congratulations

Actually plonk the third anniversary of that might have been a few days ago shot gun wedding

Remind me why you're pulling him out. Is it because the nursery isn't convenient for your new house?

eco what was your due date? Because we think my birthday was our 3 year conception anniversary

wotta what a cute bedtime. I have to kiss DS whenever he's hurt himself wherever it is to make it better. As soon as he bumps his leg or something, my first reaction is "oh no, mummy kiss it" mwahaha!

DS will no longer entertain a cup with a lid if we are in the house so it's half filled cups of water with a keen eye from the grown ups if any spillages look imminent. He brought his snuggle blanket down from his bed today saying "aww baby" and stroking it. I'm really loving this age. He's just so funny and cute!

It's the third anniversary of the egg that became Fartypants being released.

I assumed nursery droppage for Zippy is cost based: nursery fees out of Plonk's maternity pay is possibly not the best plan in terms of finances.

Not much to report here, except that I just passed a landlord inspection with zero comments on my standards of bathroom cleanliness. Go me!

Eco I'd call you a floozy with your shotgun shenanigans but some of us were living in sin when our dcs were conceived! The horror

I have no clue when ds was merely an egg/tadpole. The reality of life as a wine merchant.

Yep you've got it Stormy. Ds goes to 3 short days in a few weeks and that's still going to cost about £90 a week. We'll keep him in one short day, but ideally move him to a childminder closer to home so I'm not doing a 30 minute round trip twice a day five days a week when his free hours happen. At this rate I can see me working from home early on in Bungle's life, as smp is shit.

something you're braver than me with cups. We only do open cups at the table, and then they still end up all overt everywhere. Not that these toddles give us much choice in crockery. Ds freaks if I dare to offer him a plastic plate.

We've still never tried an open cup. FP likes trying to drink bath water out of her boats, but always ends up coughing and spluttering so I'm reluctant to try. She's very happy with the plastic Mr Men plate and bowl I bought for my bottom drawer fifteen years ago though. Not that she calls then Mr Men. No, they're "gware-kos" (that's scarecrows to the rest of us).

Free hours doesn't necessarily mean five days a week. Depends if it's a school nursery or a private one. FP goes to a private one and it's only two mornings a week year round (three if term time only).

We have only used open cups from 6 months here so DD is a pro - must admit I'm glad we don't have to worry about spills and stuff now and we just all use the same tableware as hate plastic. They soon get the hang of an open cup once you introduce it - just required some patience for a few weeks and the coughing and spluttering and spills.

plonky love the freedom at your nursery to go outside when they please - the kids must learn to put their shoes and coats on and off on their own so quickly! Birth centre sounds like a great compromise - we don't have one inn our area but heard some lovely things from people who have used them. I hhad a two page birthplan in case I needed to transfer to hospital and personally felt it was really important process to focus my mind on what I did and didn't want. Heard too many lack of consent stories (and had it happen to me with my DD1) so I think it's important so there is no question that the staff are unaware of your express wishes or least know they need to discuss it with you.

shattered agree with eco about the breastfeeding getting easy and then just carrying on because it was such a great tool for pretty much everything. But it took 8 weeks for the agonising pain to diminish and 3-4 months for it to become second nature for us both. Given that I am feeding a 27 month old now it was a worthwhile invest in terms of effort, time and pain for us!

Well I just love it when ds refuses dinner then is wide awake, grumpy and starving at 4.30. It's the best.

That does sound like a particular kind of special Plonky. How're you feeling now? Bit tired

Cups, we do cups here . Nothing to do with me, I still had her on bottles when one day I arrived to collect her from nursery a bit early to find her happily drinking her milk from a cup. They didn't train her as such, they just gave her one. Dcs work it out. No spills at all, until she's finished that is, at which point she slings the dregs on the floor. If anyone knows a magic solution for stopping that one I'm all ears.

Back home now after my few days away, and almost disappointed to find DH coped admirably, without even the smallest of breakdowns. Damn. That wasn't the plan . Probably a good thing I arrived when I did though, as somewhere along the line the 'remember to do at least one wash' instruction got lost in translation, and Babax was out of babygrows. All he needed was an exploding nappy and it would have been daddy in crisis moment I love those

Oh it does mildly irk me when the men prove themselves capable of childcare. I know it's a very sexist thing to say but I'm the one without a career, making sure we're all fed, clothed and clean. It isn't easy and to my shame it bothers me when dh makes it look easy. Of course if my DH was solo career for 5 days worse, they'd be sleeping in dirty sheets and living off microwave meals. He can do it, but it'd actually be more temporary, quite basic hand to mouth type survival. I can console myself with that

And you're right about cups. Dcs work it out. And then refuse every other kind of drinks container.

Ds slept til 7 today. Thank god. I was slightly on my knees yesterday. We've had a busy week with lots of clinging and stress. On Thursday I was on theverge on calling the hospital with reduced movements. I think dc was just having a lazy day

Sorry I have been hiding a bit. I am having some tough times with ds at the moment and I have been hibernating. His behaviour is okish. It's his sleep and eating that's a big mess. He's only had 45mins sleep since 3am. Actually I am not sure if he drifted off to sleep at all.

I think maybe he is ready to drop his nap but he is exhausted by 3pm and falls asleep. I can't keep him up because he is really miserable and starts hitting and pushing. He's not eating enough and is constipated. I try the method that wotta put on fb but that isn't working. I buy him foods that he eats at nursery but he won't eat them at home. I just had dm on the phone criticising my parenting. Grrrr.

Anyway enough about me. How is everyone? Any plans for fathers day on Sunday?

When dh is at home all he can focus on is ds and ignores the housework, cooking, washing sorting out the paperwork and arranging our social calender. He has openly admitted after looking after ds for a few hours he couldn't do what I do.

plonky reduced movements is pretty scary. Hope dc is doing a little dance today.

Best advice I have for eating, yummy, is stop fretting about it! There is no way you can force DS to eat something that he doesn't want to eat, and that's okay, because making him eat is not your responsibility. It's your job to decide what food is being served and when. It's entirely up to him whether he chooses to eat any of it. So long as you're not offering a smorgasbord of junk food, he'll be fine. Are you still giving him bottles of milk?

As for stopping his nap, it's a bugger that you're back at work soon so won't be able to put him to bed early to catch up. We tend to have chilled afternoons pottering at home at the moment, and the schedule recently changed to evening meal at 4pm, bath at 5pm, bed at 6pm. She's settling better, not kicking off about bedtime so much, and sleeping thirteen hours a night. And hopefully within a couple of months she'll be used to it and won't get so tired and grumpy!

Plonk is that baby moving today? Hope so. How baby weeks are you now? I ended up having to go up a few times with reduced mvmts, do go up if you're worried. Hope you enjoyed your 'lie in'.
Yummy we are having eating issues too. I'm hoping it's teeth or something again but God is it boring. I'm fed up with the toddler whine. I may have no patience today
Fed up of the sleepless nights too . I know he's little but god I need more sleep. I think I'm having a bit of a pity party today. Anyone care to join me or otherwise tell me something good to cheer me up??

Yummy if you sort the constipation the rest will follow. Being constipated is horrible. You have no appetite because your stomach is solid, and you can't sleep because you are uncomfortable. My two are the same as ds when they have bad stomachs. Will he drink pure orange juice? I know it isn't great for teeth but it does help. Dried prunes? Or failing that lactulose and/or senna in milk. Hope he feels a bit better soon.

Plonky when I say DH coped admirably, that was solely with the dcs. He didn't cook anything as it was easier to raid the meals I had made and frozen, he didn't wash any clothes, change the towels, tidy or do any housework. It does annoy me, but hey ho.

Hope Bumble is moving better today. It's pretty early still isn't it? It's difficult to feel very much before 20 weeks. Speaking of which, when's your scan?

I think I'm supposed to b getting Babax ready to go out now... I had better jump to it.

Shattered best I can do is it gets better!

As always you all have given great support. Thank you for the reassurances and and advice.

worse you reminded me about the orange juice. I squeezed some juice in his tea set cup as he likes to drink water from there. We did 'cheers' a couple of times and he took 2 small sips.

He is still bouncing around and filling up the bathroom bin with his toys.

shattered budge up I am joining you on the pity bench. I have coffee!

stormy he still drinks milk. No distraction will stop him from requesting milk. 13hrs a night is amazing. I will see how he is on Monday with his nap at nursery.

I mention the milk because since we stopped giving a bottle of milk before sleeps, Fartypants has been far more inclined to give eating a go. Means less fluid intake though, which isn't great if you've already got constipation to deal with.

I have spent the past two hours tackling the too small clothes heap. It has now been separated into three piles: charity shop; investigate stain removing technology then charity shop; and attempt to flog online when can be arsed to photograph fifty bajillion items. Any tips for the middle pile greatly appreciated, but keep them very simple because I have no skills or knowledge when it comes to the great mystery that is Laundry.