October 2014 // thread 6 // baby's new year resolution is to sleep more?!

[sazzlehopes]

So you lift out of the crib and feed her?

Well she's in a bedside cot, but yes.

I'm very quiet and gentle about it. Sit up in bed, lights remain off. I have to slide my hands under her first and wait a moment or two for her to stir otherwise she gets very frightened and shocked at being woken from a deep sleep. After a couple of seconds lift her into a cradle and fumble around in the dark feeling for her mouth insert the bottle teat. Sit quietly for 10 minutes until she is finished and sit her upright (she never burps at this feed, don't know why, but I always try) then lay her back down.

11pm is an ish-time. It basically means whatever time I go to bed.

DD goes 'to bed' upstairs in her cot. Bathtime starts at 7pm and is asleep upstairs in cot by 8pm at latest.

YellowWellies Both times we tried dropping the dreamfeed was for exactly the same reason . I'm mega impressed with breastfeed dreamfeed. I tried really hard with my breastfeeders for an 11pm feed but they would never wake up enough to feed properly no matter how brutal I was in waking them.

Pregnantagain The dreamfeed is a new thing for me. First two wouldn't because they were breastfed. And not wishing to gloat never got time to implement dreamfeed with DC3, he just dropped his single 1am feed at 5 weeks old and went straight to 7am-7pm.

So I'm not really sure when I am supposed to drop the dreamfeed, I've never had it established before. Don't want it being too much of a habit and DD is already having more milk than recommended.

controlled crying for 6 hours

Blimey, the stamina and willpower of that child! Did you say it was just a little one too?

My DC1 screamed for 3h 10m first night (yes, I can remember the exact length of time and every minute of those 190 minutes) and just collapsed exhausted. Second night just under half an hour, third night 5 minutes. Self setting from then on.

It was horrible, no question about that. In many ways I wish I'd have done it sooner than 12 months because it was effective. I was 7 months pregnant at the time, so was absolutely necessary. I made damn sure subsequent children could self-settle alone by the time they were in their own room.

Its dawned on me from reading about your nightfeeds that babymoose essentially snacks day and night and doesnt have regular feed times. I think im going to try and stretch things out a bit more see if i can get him to have definite feeds that feel more successful. I actually have no idea how much hes fed today. Hes far too comfy doing feed-nibble-sleep as an all in one combo. Not entirely sure how i achieve this but think i need to try!

splendide - my 11pm feed is any time from 10 - 11.30. She still wakes for it, or did until two days ago. Last two days I've done as a dream feed type thing, but not by design.

She is currently asleep in the room next door (we're staying in a one bed flat for a month or so), no monitor. We can hear her waking. I have no idea what we'd have done at home cos she never slept off me downstairs, and I'd have been too nervous to have her upstairs this young. I'd probably be doing what you're doing.

But the cuddles is what breastfeeding is all about moose!

Breastfeeding isn't meant to be 'functional' and 'ordered' or 'structured'. It's a special cuddle and if baby wants lots and lots of those through the day and little bits of milk here and there, so be it.

Wow fate your dc3 sounds like an amazing sleeper no wonder you went on to have a fourth
When we go in a switch the light on r doesn't stir we pick him up and cuddle him and talk to him and he slowly comes round.
Re reading my earlier post I made it sound like we flick the light on and shout him awake! I do wake him properly but in a nice way
However last week when he gave up sleep I was very tempted

Oh i love the cuddles, i just worry myself silly that he isnt actually eating enough, he only put on 100g last week and is so skinny. I am theorising that its why he isnt sleeping at night but i could be wrong

he only put on 100g last week

Well you see, maybe my DD only put on 100g last week. Maybe she only put on 10g. Maybe she put on 500g. I don't know you see, so I don't worry about it. Weight is just a number. Is your DS healthy? If he is, you really don't have to put yourself through the stress and worry of tracking his weight. It must add to your worry and completely unnecessarily.

Preggers We had a lot of feeding issues for the first three weeks. He definitely took to formula though because he was a joy from 5 weeks onwards.

Splendide I just feed her at 11 as that's the time we go to bed. If we go earlier or later I wake her then. Its not really a dreamfeed as I do a nappy change and give her reflux meds so she's very much awake.

Moose are you and your dp naturally skinny? He might just be naturally skinny anyway? My friends wee boy has always been like this, takes after his dad. Are the hv's /doctors putting extra emphasis on the weight gain issue?

Oh i wish stigz moose by name, moose by nature!
You can feel his ribs and his spine really easily :s he just seems really skinny at the moment. It might just be how he is and i just need to ctfd but im too good at the ftm blind panic about every little thing. If he was sleeping i dont think id be half as worried.

I'm trying tonight without any feed now (daft really as I'm awake) but if he wakes at 1 like he did last night then I think k will introduce a 11pm feed. He did 1 and 4 last night and I'm just not used to it !

Night -
No doubt see you in 2 hours!

The baby wasn't crying for six hours - just kept doing the going in and resettling thing for six hours! No one could let their baby cry for six hours!! And kind of takes the controlled out of controlled crying!

Does cc work? What sort of age is it ok to try? Ive no idea how it works or if it would for us but i am intrigued for the future

There's loads of different methods moose. Our babies are too young yet! I don't know what the suggested age for sleep training is, but we did it out of desperation with DC1 because DC2 was due and she was still waking 5 or 6 times a night aged 12 months - and needing a massive ritual of rocking/singing/shushing to get her back to sleep.

We did increasing 5 minute gaps to 30 minutes. So put her to bed with dummy (on ribbon attached to sleeping bag, so she could always put it in herself) knowing she was fed, comfortable, not in pain and tired. But we cut all the procrastination out. Just nan-night, kiss, into cot, leave. She went ballistic.

Waited 5 minutes. Went back in, picked up, nan-night, kiss, into cot, leave. Then 10 minutes picked up, nan-night, kiss, into cot, leave. Then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes, 25 minutes, 30 minutes, then every 30 minutes until asleep. All the time DH and I sat outside her room supporting each other because it was so hard to stick to your guns in the face of such desperate pleading from your baby. Too over 3 hours first night.

Works. I would imagine it is not very "mumsnetty" since it is very harsh.

going in and resettling thing for six hours

See we didn't re-settle, DD screamed through all of the whole process including when we went in. We just showed our face periodically throughout the ordeal to reaffirm we were there and that it was sleep time and that nothing more would be happening to help her sleep than a nan-night and a kiss. We didn't resettle her at all, I guess that was the whole point and reason for us to do it.

Morning!
See after all that talk of 11pm feeding DD looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her...so she woke us at 1.45 with fake poos huge farts! So nappy change, feed and hopefully back to bed.
Not sure if I'd be any good at CC but am trying to help her learn to settle herself for naps, not going great so far!!
Moose do you have to go for weekly weigh ins? As FATE suggests maybe it's making you over anxious? Thinking chunky baby thoughts for you though!

Not bad! 8 pm to 5 am. I will take that. He somehow set off his mobile at 2 am but other than that he slept for 9 hours!

Oh yes. No way I would do that in cc with the baby yet but a 1 year old yes! When you know they are ok - fed, watered, dry, not in pain - it's much easier to try cc.
I did I with my oldest son but never let him cry more than 10 mins. He sleeps like a dream now - 12 hours.

That's great fedup!
Random question - any of you who turn a lamp on for a night feed, does the light going on make any of your babies sneeze??? H has been doing that this week, very cute but bizarre!! Reminds me a bit of sneezing when you look at the sun except H's eyes haven't even been opened!

I'm going to go against the grain and say you don't need to do cc to get a good sleeper. Tried it once - not for us.

Well, after ten days of two to three hourly wake ups, tonight we've have one ten minute feed at 3 am by otherwise went to sleep at 8.30 and is still asleep now. I've not had as much rest as I would have liked because every hour or so she's had a goodwriggle and a grunt and I've thought, uh-oh, but she's settled back again. Maybe the worst of whatever it is is over (for now).

One thing- she's started to cry at bedtime and resist going down, rather than feeding to sleep, bonk, out.Last night it took an hour of rocking, soothing, putting down, rocking soothing etc to get her to sleep, with her crying as soon as she hit the mattress and not wanting to feed. Is this just a thing that happens? We think she's had some tooth pain but I don't think she was in pain last night, just tired and grumpy. I'm just wondering why the sudden difference.

(Dp is super smug because he was the one who got her to sleep, plus he also did her bath and made dinner. Whatevs. I could have done those things if I'd wanted to.)

No I don't think you do either yelllow but it does work for some

That's great tatty
Yep, the crying can just be overtired and grumpy. R started to do that too instead of feeding and zonking out.

Babies are so badly designed.

Urgh zombieMoose again today. Why my child thinks being awake for 1hr-1hr30 then asleep for 1hr is an acceptable pattern i'll never know.

They really are tatty. The too tired to go to sleep thing makes me so mad.

I think today I'm going to fit all his formula in in the day and then not wake him at 10 and see what happens. He's just so upset when I wake him and I'm worried I'm disrupting his sleep patterns.