September 2014 - Into the new year!

[RedToothBrush]

Shiny New Thread for a Shiny New Year.

misog poor you going back to work so soon! His old is Emily now?

My shedding is deffo post-pregnancy, have never lost so much at once. It's all round the house too, I'm worse than the dog!

Kitkat, I've not got out the house before 9am yet without the aid of DH. I get up at 7.30am every day too. I blame my surgically attached pump. If I don't do it first thing in the morning, it wouldn't get done (and my boobs would explode).

We live at a top of a hill which is quite exposed so when it gets breezy it gets breezy. But its not 'bad' until they close the motorway and cause traffic chaos. At the moment its not registering on the scary scale fortunately.

I don't think I need to worry about my hair falling out as DS is pulling it all out first. Today's thing was putting his hands in my mouth and trying to pull my face off.

Fate I don't feel chilled out. I suffer from really bad anxiety and just doing anything for an easy life is the best way for me to cope rather than being a parenting strategy. Its reassuring to know its not a terrible thing to do. And to be honest it seems daft to do certain things before DS is at a point to understand on some level. But then again, I seem to get anxious about all the things other people don't get anxious about, and then don't get anxious about all the other things that everyone else does! (I'm the person with a fear of medics but doesn't blink at injections for example).

See, you are brave Red. I have never taken any of my children to have any of their immunisations. Four children and DH has had to take time off work to take them all for every one of their jabs. Because I'm too much of a wuss (I'm needle phobic).

DH is quite happy to throw himself off tall buildings, swim with sharks and jump in front of cars ok so I made the first two up but you get the idea, but is scared of needles. Its about the one and only thing he is afraid of. He came along for the first set of DS's vaccinations because I was scared of the nurse...

Hair falling out - check

Needing help from DH if there are any morning plans - check

Anything for easy life - check : I'll sometimes leave DD in rocker for a feed in the reclined position with a muslin folded under her a chin and a toy holding the bottle in place( is that really bad?) just so I can get stuff done around the house.

Wrt to self-soothing we started at about six weeks, popping her down whilst awake and banned either of us picking her up for at least five mins.
When we started the whole routine thing about four weeks ago (I'm not a huge fan of routine but this has worked well for us thankfully) , on the first night post, bath, change feed and story she was wide awake and left to her own devices with a dummy and v low lighting. She cried for a total of ten minutes (all of which I spent glued to the monitor), and then proceeded to suck on her hand and went off to sleep. Next night it was five mins of tears. Some nights she's now asleep before we reach the story .

Although tonight she was very fussy with her feed so I had a cuddle and put her on the breast (thanks Fate) and let her fall asleep on me.

Kitkat I just refuse to register in any 9am classes flat out; end of- for me; I just can not deal with it; i wanted to go to buggy fitness class but they are all early and so I am staying fat!!!!

Ladies I am debating how seriously I should take this and whether I should worry (ftm worries alert) : ds is super sensitive in comparison to the babies of the same age I see around;
every time he starts baby sensory class by looking at everyone, then looking at me all frightened and upset and screaming and crying for 5 minutes but luckily he is then fine;
Or -this happened two times- if I come back from shower with wet hair and look slightly differently he suddenly panics and screams and cries and does not calm down for a while - a long long while-
Or - he is scared of plastic bags, jumps up with the noise and if it is load he starts crying hard
Or - with no obvious reason suddenly he developed a massive dislike to his bath and screams as soon as his feet touches water (he used to like it)
Or- sometimes he just starts looking frightened in his buggy and does not calm down until I take him out and cuddle him

And generally any non familiar thing may set him off ; he is frightened so easily and feels very insecure

I am not really sure if this is a cause of worry or not; just don't want him to suffer...

fairly sure we have tiles coming off roof. my stupid anxiety back three fold. it took b longer than usual to settle tonight which I put down to being over tired but may have been the wind....

She's 16 weeks now inbl00m so will be 19 by the time I go back, unfortunately I earn significantly more than DH and have gone onto half pay now, we can't manage more than 2 months on it. I did save all my holiday though to allow me to go back pt while being paid ft.

Zanashar that is very unlikely to work for us; if ds is not picked up when he cries he gets loader and loader and then so hysterical that I first wonder how is he even breathing and second I am afraid that somebody calls then police hearing his voice!!! It is not even as if I ever tried living him to cry, but have to cut whatever I do short so I go get him

Sorry Nazly, I was just sharing my experience, not suggesting anyone to try nor insisting that it's going to work for every parent/ baby as everyone's different and telling a mum to do this and not do that only gets peoples backs up. Don't have many mum friends so luckily not too much of an issue for me.
hope something works for your LO.

Nazly, how long has this been going on for with your DS?

It sounds very much to me that its liable to be normal anxiety starting as babies become more aware of their surroundings (like stranger anxiety). But being a ftm too, I wouldn't really know if that's what happening with you. Your DS is a good few weeks older than most of our babies too which would fit with the timing of when its supposed to happen.

One of my friends has told me something that I am very pleased and relieved about. DS is currently very smiley and smiles at everyone. However apparently babies reach a certain point and then will only smile at the people they really trust and know well (basically Mum or Dad). She said that being happy and smiley around everyone past a certain age, can be a sign of concern for people who work in child protection because the baby is seeking a response of love and attention from anyone who will give it, as they aren't getting it from the people closest to them in the way they should.

So I am aware that there should be something of a 'change in personality' and that DS should become anxious of things he was perfectly happy with previously. And this is a good thing rather than a bad thing. I think without knowing that, given how DS currently is, that I would panic if he stopped being so happy and easy going.

In short, ask me again in a few weeks...

Zanashar My 'anything for an easy life' extends to not crying too. I will do whatever it is that my DD wants in order for her to not cry. Because to me, that's the easiest option. If she started crying when I put her down in the cot upstairs, the dummy would usually stop that. If it didn't, I wouldn't want to deal with the anxiety of listening to her crying. I'd just bring her downstairs with me straight away.

Nazly There is a developmental stage in which babies develop stranger anxiety, but that's more 6-12 month ish.

You are your DS's main source of reassurance with any aspect of the big wide world that he feels unsure or unhappy about. I believe it is around 4 months before babies realise they can cry to get your attention (so all cries before 16 weeks is for a physical reason). Your DS is over 4 months isn't he? So for anything that happens when he's not sure, he may well just want a quick cuddle of reassurance from his Mummy. It seems your DS needs a bit of extra reassurance, but nothing to worry about.

Re the bath though - it is entirely down to luck as to if DD will be giggling and kicking though out, or screaming blue murder, or anything in between. Some days she loves it, some days she hates it. C'est la vie.

I do give her a dummy. I'm not evil

I've read that stranger anxiety can kick in, in some babies as early as around 5 months, hence why I asked how long it had been going on for as Nazly's son is an August baby. (I think Nazly's baby is the eldest on the thread and is a good 3 or 4 weeks ahead of DS who is start of Sept).

I don't think you are evil, please don't think that .

The best way for many babies to get to sleep is just to be left alone - often while grumbling. That is their way to get to sleep. Your baby does that and that's OK. It's not like you are not meeting her needs. In fact by leaving her you are meeting her needs - because she needs to go to sleep so you are letting her go to sleep.

We are all supportive here. So I am sorry if you felt made to feel bad, I am certain it was unintentional.

(((hugs)))

My DD must be about the youngest. She was 26th September (hence I am on both September and October threads).

It's ok Fate. DD is my first @ 36 and I've sacrificed a lot of family relationships (long story) to be where I am now so I'm probably overly sensitive too
I do feel v blessed with her though and how adaptable she is, although tonight I really (accidentally) scared her when I laughed v loudly at her antics. She sort of freaked out and had a good cry and I felt mean so we had lots of tuddles (that's what we call them)
Oh and Z is 20th September so v close to yours

DS grumbles to sleep at night. I don't like leaving him though. I put in his cot, and sit next to him so he knows I'm there and just let him get on with fighting Ewan and the Sleep Bunnies oh how I love Ewan. I have no idea if ignoring him whilst MNetting helps but it seems to most nights. If I give him attention it does tend to prolong the process more often than not.

However it doesn't work every night. There are some nights when it just doesn't work and he has to be rocked bum wobbled to sleep.

DS is my first only at 36 too. I know nothing about babies at all. DS is very much a 'guinea pig' in that department. This could also be why 'The Rod' is not really affecting me as I've avoided babies and their mothers deliberately so much in the past.

Stupid question here brought on by fates post - when they say 6 months so they mean 6 calendar months or 24 weeks? Just wondering for weaning, although I seriously doubt Em will wait that long, she's drinking between 6 & 8 8oz bottles a day! Little piggy

Redtoothbrush I'm about to google 'The Rod'

Well I Mumsnetted it instead. Interesting best ignored methinks

There is a risk I'm going to kill dh. He was out for the evening so I went to bed alone and slept in the middle of the bed. He came home as DS atirred for dummy, I ended up settling him. Dh is now SNORING away and eating into every precious minute I have before the next feed. I actually hate him right now.

Ah a swift poke in the back has fixed the problem :) night ladies!

I stick B in his cot still awake most times. apply dummy, turn on ewan and sounds of beach white noise. seems to work. I have just started trying to get him to nap un cot at lunchtime so he gets s decent sleep. he is always uber grumpy by 5pm so needs a decent nap at 1. we get an hour if lucky..I suspect he needs more like 2. for that I put his mobile on and close blind only so it's not quite thr same as bedtime.

I was so anti dummies but it is good. my mother and mil are appalled.

kitkat i'm with you, I want snow!

Elijah also won't settle by himself he would just scream till I came back :( hmmmm i am willing to give it a try again tomorrow as his sleep is becoming more disturbed and he has started to wake up and want to play. Which he has not really done before.

I too am forgetting the ages of all the babies so:

Elijah 21 weeks 3 days (15 weeks 2 days adjusted)