October 2014 // thread 5 // baby's first Christmas

[JeannePoole]

Welcome back!

(Dear greetings cards manufacturers: 'Baby's First Christmas' does NOT necessarily have to include Baby being liberally sprinkled with glitter from your shoddily-made merchandise.

Except that, as I'm rapidly discovering, it does.

JeannePoole I'm feeding two hourly through the day, not demand feeding. I think this has a lot to do with her sleeping through at night.

By 'not demand feeding' this doesn't mean I make her wait to feed, not at all. If she wants feeding more often than 2 hourly then that is fine. But I clock watch with feeds and will feed make sure I start feeding her within 2 hours of the last time I started feeding her - even if this means waking her up from a sleep.

So she doesn't sleep for great lengths though the daytime. Equally she is never hungry, she doesn't cry for hunger at all anymore. So I know her cries are always for sleep, not a feed.

All the daytime feeding filling her up, teamed with using the dummy should she wake up in the night, meant she dropped her 5am feed at about 8 weeks old and so was sleeping 7 or 8 hours a night.

Fate and bump - DS is FF, notionally 'on demand' but pretty much every four hours like clockwork. The late feed is sometimes only three hours after the previous one, though - I'm reluctant to do it any sooner since he's taking huge bottles (240ml - he's a massive lump of a baby!) and he gets refluxy if we're not careful.

Weirdly the 3am waking quite often coincides with the four hour mark since his last feed, but he doesn't seem hungry. He'll quite happily go back to sleep if I shuffle him across into our bed, and then often sleeps for another three hours or so. My main worry is that I'm making a rod for my own back by letting him know that he can come into our bed if he creates enough of a disturbance...

I'm feeding on demand sort of but offering often as he lost some weight and is still teeny. We got off to a bad feeding start because he had undiagnosed tongue tie until 7.5 weeks. Now he has terrible habits but I just need to put weight on him as a priority.

I'm having a horribly self doubting low day today. I'm doing everything wrong.

splendide

There's no right or wrong, you are both just learning, that's all. Just get some weight onto your little man and all will be fine.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but my DC3 was formula fed because he lost weight. Losing weight is a whole different ball game to slow weight gain, as you'll know splendide.

You are doing absolutely amazingly that you are still breastfeeding at all splendide. I caved and wholly formula fed DC3 within days of his slow weight gain changing to weight loss. I supposedly knew what I was doing by then too.

The fact that you are still breastfeeding at all is brilliant, you deserve a medal given the situation you are in, you really do. Definitely do not doubt yourself. You are fantastic

splendide I don't think you're necessarily ding anything wrong. There are different ways of doing things according to you and your baby- the important thing is what works for you. For example, I fed loads and loads until recently. I've stopped because she doesn't seem to need it as much- she's more interested in the world, more able to entertain herself, less clingy. Also, I feed her to sleep usually because it works for us- she's an efficient feeder and she goes to sleep very quickly. If she wakes in the night she usually goes back down in ten minutes. So actually it's not something I'm worried about or feel the need to change- and she's getting to the point where she will now fall asleep in other ways, for example her dad rocks her to sleep. I find that a massive weight is taken off me if I think in terms of what works for us acc what doesn't, as opposed to what is "right". And things come out unexpectedly- I never thought I'd be a bed time sort of person but it turns out my baby likes to have one, so we do.

Splendide he's still reaaaaaaally young - I guarantee he has no "bad habits" permanently set in stone by this age. Go easy on yourself. Just because others do things differently doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. If there was only one 'right' way of raising kids - someone would have written THE book and made millions - as it is there's hundreds of different parenting styles and books and no one size fits all kids.

splendide like everyone else says your doing great. Having a little person to look after isnt easy, and it certainly never seems to go to plan so try not to feel bad, you're doing great :)

I on the other had have been led in bed for an hour trying to feed a very grumpy baby because im still roasting hot and shivering so im trying to steal some rest at the same time, and hes getting really frustrated. Ive no idea why but he never goes on at a good angle on the right boob and gets really stroppy :s i really should get up so he calms down!

fate I want her to take a bottle enough for dp to keep offering it every day but not enough to put in much effort beyond that. Sometimes I feel a bit constrained, but less than I feel annoyed by having to express, sterilize etc regularly- and I've got through three months, I can get through until she can drink from a cup. It would be nice if I could get wined and dined, but not the end of the world if I can't be, and we're lucky that dp is self employed so can come with be to play the roll of Nanny.

Massive unexpected cluster feed tonight. Jabs? Growth spurt? Wind in the east? Jupiter ascendant? Who knows.

Thanks guys I'm sorry to be so moany, I'm just so worried all the time it's exhausting!

That's so kind Fate thank you. I'm hoping to keep up mixed feeding but I know it's not the end of the world to formula feed. It just feels like such a mountain to climb! I didn't realise you had one who lost weight, it's horrible isn't it? Really frightening.

tatty I think we're building up to a cluster feed evening too. Been on for an hour and a half now, with break for a barf/me to put all my clothes in the wash/bit of a scream, but that's it. Weird, but sort of fits with me being insatiably hungry the last few days.

Splendid you can't spoil them under a year old someone told me. With my first I did everything I could to get sleep etc. fed to sleep, let ds in bed with us etc etc and now at almost 4 he's an angel. Really calm nature and goes to bed always without fuss. He's an early riser - but we get no sneaky night visits! So even though some people told me and I felt I shouldn't give in it doesn't necessarily lead to a bad sleeper.

pregnant we had the crazy dummy putting in mouth thing about a billion times a night. I think for several months I just walked into his room shoved it back in and walked out half asleep. I didn't get rid of it though I kept going, bought a glow in the dark one and attached it to his grow bag and suddenly he could find the damn thing and put it back in of his own accord. It was such a flipping relief!!! I used to leave about 5 spare ones around his head so he'd always have one in reach! For us it was his sleep switch and worked a treat up until the 'dummy fairies' came to get it at age 2 and a half!

I've just orderd a natural rubber one actually so it'll be interesting to see if he prefers it to the mam ones we are using...
He is chewing on his hand something cronic at the mo, I really think it's the beginning of teeth!

sazzle it's a nightmare isn't it!

Okaay after my moaning earlier put r down tonight at 7 he had dozed off on the bottle but woke as I put him in the cot he grizzled for a couple of minutes. Then he went to sleep. On his own. Without being held. Or rocked. I'm sure it is just a fluke but it gives me just the tiniest glimmer of hope that I won't be rocking a sixteen year old with a beard to sleep every night

Also he hasn't woken up after 20 mins like he does every night. Just sent dp up to check on him!

Splendide. Dead right weight loss in your baby is frightening. I sometimes read your posts and wonder if you think that your anxiety is something not normal, like you should not be feeling so anxious. Not many people know that fear of a baby getting smaller and it is absolutely normal to be scared in such a situation.

Look after your mental health. Everyone in your situation would need some support for their mental health so you are no different. I know I seriously struggled when my DC3 was losing weight. We never knew why.

Fact is, as long as you are doing what is needed to get calories into your DS, then you are doing the right thing. Forget the rest, all of it.

sazzlehopes: bought a glow in the dark one and attached it to his grow bag and suddenly he could find the damn thing

All of my growbags, from birth size up to 36 months, have a length of ribbon sewed onto the chest with press studs at the end. Ready and waiting to attach a dummy to. No more lost dummys.

Great minds think alike

Woohoo pregnant thats awesome! :D
Im not sure how to start putting him down awake with him being in our room... are we going to be led in bed listening to him scream? :s i need to be brave and try it at some point but i dont think he'll like it

sazzle mine is doing the loudest, dribbliest chomps on his hand! I have been trying to put his hand to his face to help him self soothe (rec by my hv) so the chomping is probs my fault :s with how much nipple chewing he does i really should try a dummy!

It amazes me how babymoose can be flat out asleep next to me but is bat shit crazy by the time hes in his cot :s

Evening all, hope you all get a bit more sleep tonight. I was going to put E upstairs to bed a bit earlier with the monitor but instead she's slept in her carrycot since 7 with only 2 proper wake ups. Does this mean less sleep tonight though
We're getting very loud hand sucks here too, quite funny. Hope she gets more used to the dummy though. I'm paying close attention to you experienced mummies so I don't make too many mistakes

God... I feel night feeds are never going to end

Why doesn't mumsnet have a tired emotion face? I bet it would be the most used

I think gremlins have got into my baby.

I think babymoose knows im ill, he slept from 11-7 and i feel significantly less shivery and crap! Altho that might be due to the constant paracetamol taking through the night

Gremlins doesnt sound good tatty hope you werent up all night :s

So after the night before's amazing 11:30pm - 6am, last night she was asleep at 11, then up at 1:30am, 4am and 6am. Then the cat wanted fed at 7am. Brought her downstairs in the basket as she was wriggling and making a racket, now she's gone back to sleep on me!

Has everyone started bedtime routines (bath, story bottle etc)? Thought the Pop was too young but maybe not.

Have just discovered some Jusrol bake at home pain au chocolat in the fridge - get in!

Not too bad here after awful night the night before. 10.30-5.30 then 6-8.30. I can never sleep the second bit though! He's so loud in the mornings, don't know why.

I'd be interested in people's bed routines as well. We have a fairly regular routine but it begins at 9.30 at the moment.

Hi, in the way, welcome . And splendide, glad you had a good night.

We're just starting to implement a bedtime routine for DS (14w today). He's always hated baths so we've shied away from it up to now, and 'bathtime' has = 'he stinks and one of us feels brave enough to tackle it' ie. completely at random.

But new year, new start and all that, so last night DH bathed him at 7, PJs and sleeping bag, bottle, sleep on daddy in the carry cot downstairs until I went up to bed at 9 and took him with me. Then woke him at 11.30 for a bottle and he slept through until 3.30 when he did his usual thrashing about and got hauled into bed with me 6.30am. Hoping this will become our new standard routine minus the 3.30 shenanigans.

On an unrelated note, there are quite a few of us here now who were only lurking weren't on the antenatal thread and / or haven't been here since day 1. Should we have a bit of an introductory summary of who we all are at the start of the next thread?