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October 2014 // thread 5 // baby's first Christmas

995 replies

JeannePoole · 18/12/2014 20:24

Welcome back!

(Dear greetings cards manufacturers: 'Baby's First Christmas' does NOT necessarily have to include Baby being liberally sprinkled with glitter from your shoddily-made merchandise.

Except that, as I'm rapidly discovering, it does.

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6
Smooshie85 · 01/01/2015 12:06

Happy new year everyone !!

We didn't get baby asleep until about half one, he had screaming fit about half 3. He is teething so dribble bibs a must here - I can actually see the tooth!!

moose I had mastitis and had a pretty horrific time, you have done the right thing as early detection and antibiotics will prevent an abscess which is what mine turned into! You should see some improvement pretty quickly but if you don't go back to gp to try a different antibiotic that did the trick for me. Get plenty of rest and fluids, I feel for you cos it's rotten on top of looking after a mini human!

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 12:07

It's took me four children to crack it though splendide. DD will be 14 weeks tomorrow.

I tried her 11am nap upstairs today as well. I did need to sit next to her for 10 minutes to keep putting the dummy back in, but she went off to sleep OK and is still asleep up there. Hoping to start establishing a proper lunchtime nap and bedtime once the children are back at school.

splendide · 01/01/2015 12:09

Oh and goats I'm the same. My DH has talked before about a vasectomy and I resisted although we had always says we'd just have one. Now I'm desperate for him to get it done. I know it's not the right time to make the desicion but I just can't imagine doing this again. I'm so bad at it.

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 12:14

Pregnantagain The complete inability for my children to sleep in is the problem here. My 10 year old may occasionally stay in bed until 8am but is usually up at 7am with the other two. Doesn't matter how late they go to bed, they get up at the same time but are just in horrible moods the following day.

splendide · 01/01/2015 12:16

Fate, does she cry/grizzle round the dummy? And do you leave the dummy in when you go away? My boy is 9 weeks and will sometimes be resettled without coming out his bed if I put his dummy in and breathe loudly near his head (hmmm). But he does moan a bit and shake his head about so I feel really mean!

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 12:27

Two of mine have done the head shaking thing (including DD). I assume its normal for some children when they are trying to get to sleep.

The dummy stops the crying/grizzling. I don't allow the dummy during awake time and so when grizzling starts and some picking up/attention won't solve this then I know it is time for dummy to come out which means it is time for sleep. I therefore use dummy as a bit of a sleep trigger, DD having it is a sign to her that it is sleep time.

Depending on how tired she is, sometimes just getting the dummy to suck will start her eyes drooping and she can be asleep within minutes. Dummy then drops out of her mouth once she is asleep. Other times I lie her down awake with the dummy but it falls out a few times so I have to be nearby to re-insert until she's asleep.

Bear in mind though that I am 5 weeks ahead of you and in these early weeks that is a lot. I had a really terrible time at 8 weeks and again 12 weeks when things were definitely not this easy. I'm just in a good phase at the moment. I'll get the 4 month growth spurt in a few weeks to deal with my snugness.

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 12:28

smugness, not snugness!

Pregnantagain7 · 01/01/2015 12:32

fate exactly the same as mine 8 really is a lie in for them 9 yr old is marginally better than the 4 yr old but they are usually both up by 7. I'm so Envy of mums at the school gates who's kids lie in til 9/10 in the morning!

I'm debating trying r with a dummy. He is really struggling to self settle which means I'm holding and cuddling to sleep sometimes this can take 45 mins and it's starting to get to me. The only other way is rocking him in his chair but I can't do this once he's grown out of it.
Dd1 had one and it was great, plonk it in,put her in the cot and she would go to sleep and she slept from 7-7 (with a feed at 11 I would wake her) from 8 weeks.
The problems started at about 5 months she would wake about 10 times a night because it had fallen out,it was a nightmare.At 8 months I'd had enough and got rid of it which was hell and I vowed never again. fate (or anyone with dummy experience!) is this normal? Or was I just very unlucky?! Ds1 sucks his thumb and I'm thinking maybe a dummy would have been better at least you can get rid of a dummy unlike a thumb!

splendide · 01/01/2015 12:34

Thanks I think I'll persevere with it. I don't do it every time he wakes in the night just if its been a short time - otherwise I will feed him.

I don't find you smug at all btw just really knowledgeable and very kind to indulge my questions!

tattyblue · 01/01/2015 12:59

Does anyone have any bottle tips? We're belatedly trying to get her to take a bottle and it's a resounding failure so far. I don't hold out much hope as she's fucking disgusted by dummies (spitting, gagging, screaming). It's not the end of the world if she won't take one but I've got a meeting to go to in a few weeks and it would be nice not to have to take an entourage (alternative is take dp as well and he can look after her, but that will mean curtailing the nice boozey lunch that will go with the work). Any thoughts on technique, Torres of teat etc?

splendide · 01/01/2015 13:08

We got him to take one from DH. Sitting very upright, room temp milk and slow flow teat. He's having two a day so hopefully he won't lose the knack.

wondermoose13 · 01/01/2015 13:10

Ooh wasnt too bad and the roads where dead.
Im sat on the sofa shaking so much its like babymoose has a new bouncy chair
Dh felt my head because i was moaning about tje cold ans its roasting :s hes taken babymoose out for 20 mins walk in the rain so i can eat some soup! Today would be an ideal stay in bed and fed on command day but as dh has turned the bedroom into a techy man cave its not suitable for me and ds to get in bed
brrrrr :(

wondermoose13 · 01/01/2015 13:10

Lol he lasted 2 mins in the rain

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 13:13

Tatty - It took a lot of perseverance to get DD to take a bottle (and a dummy for that matter). She hated anything that wasn't nipple for the first 8 weeks and would scream and spit out any alternate. None the less I persevered with at least one bottle a day and with the dummy from 3 weeks old.

We found dream feeding the best way to introduce the bottle - lifting her from a sleep to feed from a bottle. Gradually she started accepting a bottle as long as he wasn't starving and was dozing. Finally, from about 8 weeks, she started being willing to have bottle anything I needed it (which was the same time as her accepting a dummy).

So all in all, about 5 weeks of working on the bottle to get her to accept it.

ohthegoats · 01/01/2015 13:21

fate we're old! I'm 41 this month, I don't want to be pregnant again, and boyfriend only wants one child. It's a perfect vasectomy storm!

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 13:27

Moose - I don't blame your DH for coming home so soon. I hate pushchair walking in the rain. Cold hands, hood in eyes and no umbrella Xmas Sad

Pregnantagain7 - Regarding dummy falling out. From my experience it is more to do with how good a sleeper you have.

DC1, being PFB, I made a lot of mistakes with. I introduced a dummy late (20 weeks) in desperation to try and get some sleep. It was too late and her poor sleep habits were too ingrained (plus we continued making PFB parenting mistakes) and so I had the dummy falling out and waking her issue. Proper nightmare, just an extra reason for her to wake.

DC2 and DC3 both had dummies from birth. Both were very good sleepers with good sleep habits. So they were the sort of children who would fall asleep and not wake up until morning. They didn't need settling in the night because they didn't wake up. So the fact that the dummy fell out as they first fell asleep didn't matter because they didn't wake up again to need a dummy.

So as long as you have a child who is sleeping through, then the dummy is great for first settling to sleep. If you have a baby who is not sleeping through the night by the time they go into their own room, then the dummy can be more hassle than benefit.

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 13:31

I should say that DC2 and DC3 were not sleeping through young. I meant once they were old enough to be sleeping thorough that nothing would wake them, they would sleep deeply.

wondermoose13 · 01/01/2015 13:32

Haha fate no i dont blame him either! It sucks! I was amazed he suggested it, he looked like an arctic explorer in his waterproof!

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 14:12

Goat - FYI 41 is not old :-P

fatpony · 01/01/2015 14:27

Splendide, sorry but that made me chuckle, the idea of you doing some heavy breathing near your baby's lughole! The things we do (makes mental note to try it later).

Original poster
JeannePoole · 01/01/2015 14:49

goats and FATE Agreed. At 41, you are a mere child Wink

Fate, our DCs are exactly the same age and I'm in awe of your sleeping! DS basically has naps of up to 2 hours, plus one 6-7 hour stretch per 24 hours, which he'd like to start at 8pm- ish. Obviously we'd rather not get up for a feed at 3am, so we wake him at 11ish for a bedtime bottle. He then goes until about 6.30 before he's hungry again, but wakes up at 3am anyway for some energetic thrashing around and snuffling, just to make sure mummy is awake. Mummy inevitably ends up sharing her side of the bed, just to get him back to sleep for the rest of the night. Mummy does not find it restful.

In fact, mummy finds it very frustrating since in general terms he's always been a pretty good sleeper...

OP posts:
wondermoose13 · 01/01/2015 14:51

fate whats PFB? Weve tried dummy a few times and he spits it out, how did you get round the spitting it out and waking themselves up issue?

tattyblue · 01/01/2015 14:55

fate I'm not sure it's worth five weeks off work to me, to be honest. I'm such a lazy parent. We'll keep trying, though, and see ifit gets any easier in the next week.

tattyblue · 01/01/2015 15:12

*of work, even

FATEdestiny · 01/01/2015 16:16

PFB = Precious First Born the child you make all the parenting mistakes with. My first born has turned out alright though, despite what a nightmare she was as a baby.

Tatty - Entirely depends on how much you think it is worth it. If the bottle isn't that important for you, I wouldn't bother with the effort either. I have a big issue with needing my own personal space (silence and alone for at least an hour a day), which is hard when breastfeeding. The bottle is important for my own sanity, to get some space away from baby every now and again. I'm also not precious about DD having formula from her bottle, to give me a breastfeeding break.

Moose - We had to hold the dummy in place at first, until she got the hang of sucking it.

The dummy doesn't stay in the baby's mouth all the time they are asleep, only when they are dropping off to sleep. It will always fall out of her mouth as she drops to sleep because mouth muscles relax and baby will stop sucking, so the dummy would not be held in place.

If she's asleep then the dummy falling out doesn't matter, because she is asleep. If she isn't fully asleep then she will grumble when the dummy drops out of her mouth. So I need to be nearby to put dummy back. This is only usually 10 minutes or so until she is fully asleep and so doesn't notice the dummy drop.

If you have a baby that is easily disturbed and wakes easily - the dummy will become a problem because you'll be forever having to re-insert it. If you have a baby who, once they've dropped to sleep, sleep deeply and well, then the dummy is an excellent tool to calm, sooth and trigger sleep.