July 2014 - sleepless nights but lots of smiles

[NancyinCali]

The old thread is nearly full so here's a new place for us to chat about our July babies. Help yourself to some tea & cake to keep you going through the sleepless nights .

ismarah my ds also started drinking less each feed last few days not really sure why but hes still happy/plenty of nappies (is that still a good indicator of anything??!) And was having more than recommended before... I'm just feeding roughly every 3h- to be fair his last feed was around 6 30 last night and he burped and then brought a HUGE amount of milk up- puddle in my skirt/all over us both however he then slept through until 5.30 so he obviously had enough still!

plate I do wonder the same thing every day if I should be putting down or letting him sleep on me...I think it depends on my mood/if I have anything I need to do/what we have planned that day- if I need to go somewhere early I will let him sleep on me so hes had a good rest but if just staying at home will try and put him down.

I would try tummy snow but I'm normally putting him down asleep and thought that might wake him up? Hope you have a better day today. ..

This cold still isn't shifting and (sorry way tmi) my bottom is very sore from a very odd poo yesterday afternoon still trying to decide if I need to go to the dr. I'm generally feeling miserable. ..getting ds weighed for first time in a month this afternoon, I'm guessing heavy!

Argh - ds slept ok for about 5 hours (though he went to bed later than normal) but after his feed he wouldn't settle properly - he wasn't sleeping very deeply and his arms kept jerking and hitting the cot so he hasn't slept much. He's now napping on me and I'm going to try to put him down if he stops twitching

Jabs done. The bit she disliked the most was having the rotavirus vaccine, which is taken orally. She did the lip wobble thing then burst into tears. It was cute.

She was also wonderful to me last night and slept from midnight till 7am. Hopefully you're right about the sleeping, ickle.

Yes kiwi ds hates anything in his mouth- rotovirus/gripe water/calpol!!! He was much better with jabs- thankfully no oral at 4 months!

Yes ds hated the rota virus thing too he was screaming before a needle went anywhere near him and also hates calpol/gripe water - the only thing he did like was infacol!

He's clingy and odd again today - not long woken up from a 2 hour nap and he's sleeping on me again. When I put him down he's doing his sad cry and has been quite happy led on me awake with his dummy in which is really unusual as he normally won't stay still. Other times he's been really happy and laughing though.

Anyone else feel like suddenly they have no idea what they're doing? I have a 3.11yo and a 17wk old, and this week I've been all over the place. Every time I put DD down for a nap or bedtime she screams and screams and fights it all the way. She's waking every two hours again at night, and is throwing up her milk after every feed; in fact, the screaming starts as soon as I even think about feeding her. Both my kids (until this week) have always been comforted by BF, and I have always fed to sleep. It's so frustrating when it doesn't work! I know this is related to the four month sleep regression, but it's hard not to take it personally

I think we're in for another long night. DH finally got her to sleep after 45 minutes of crying and screaming, and I hear her stirring again, half an hour later. Of course, this all reaches a climax at 8pm, which is, you guessed it, DS' bed time.

This too shall pass. Said through gritted teeth.

Hmm. Both of us feeling better after a 2.5 hr sleep . Let's see how the rest of the night goes...

Bless you lemon although my 'night' ended at 4.15 and I'm bunged up achy and feeling awful - a couldn't go to work kind of day but not an option to not be a mummy! Doesn't help that dh had to go to work early. ..ds asleep on me and I won't be waking him or putting him down any time soon. ..

Signed up to gym and creche, booked creche session for two weeks. Health, here I come.

I am inordinately proud of myself for doing this.

ismarah

yay! you go girl!

You absolutely should be proud of yourself, ismarah

Good work ismarah I signed up for fitness4mums which seems quite focused on losing weight where as I just want to get fit...thought would give it a go for 1 month and see how it goes. They asked how much I wanted to lose and I didn't know how much I weigh now so just had to guess!

Thankfully ds been very good today as I've really struggled feeling dreadful and bunged up. Had a friend come and look after ds for a bit this morning so I could get more sleep!

Well done, ismarah. I'm getting by on long walks at the moment, but feel like I need to step it up a level!

You've inspired me to go take a look at the crèche facilities at our local gym. Bit apprehensive about the idea of leaving him though - I can count on one hand the number of times I've left him, and that's only with DH!

Arhh been up all night with ds and have awful s&d not really sure how today will go- a friends coming to take him this morning and hopefully I will get some sleep then...

I really need to exercise! I've found a place that does barre classes and has childcare. Now I need to actually try it!

Aw ickle - hope you feel better soon

I feel like ds actually hates me tonight - he's fine with dp but I haven't been able to do anything right. I don't get it - I've done everything 'right' since I got pregnant (not touched a drop of alcohol, breastfed, etc) and I love him so much yet it's so hard but other people I know that smoked/drank while they were pregnant and are shit mothers have such an easy time and their babies were so happy.

Oh Auntie. unmumsnetty hugs

Your DS loves you too. He appreciates everything you have done for him and will continue to do for him. You spend the most time with him though so you get 99% of the tantrums and bad behaviour. He will misbehave with your DP just as easily and he will behave well with you. It's just hard to remember on bad days.

There's no delicate way to put this so I'm just going to stomp in in my size 3.5s. Is it possible that you have a bit of post-natal depression going on? I'm only asking because you sound like I do when I'm depressed.

The thing I remember about depression when I am well is this: depression lies to you. It tells you you are an awful mum / wife / person. It tells you it will never get better because how could it get better if you're awful. It tells you not to ask for help, you are just fine

Except those are all lies. And you, m'dear are an awesome mum. After everything that happened during your pregnancy and delivery you have persevered with breastfeeding because breast is best if you can make it happen. And you didn't drink or smoke or do drugs and you ate well and you continue to do everything as well as you can.

What other mothers do or do not do is irrelevant. How their babies behave is irrelevant. Motherhood is not a competition. But if it were, it would be an Ironman or a 100k run, which is what you've prepared for and are engaged in right now. Other mothers may have prepared differently and their results may be different. But their babies are different babies too. Babies are individuals and they like different things just like we all do.

A friend of mine described having her difficult baby girl after a horrendous birth and a difficult pregnancy that came after multiple miscarriages like this: Hand me a baby on any given day and I'll be fine and dandy. Hand me one right after I've given birth to the bloommin thing and I'm a basket case of hormones and tiredness and pain.

It doesn't really sound conducive to being a calm, balanced parent, going through 12 or 24 or 72 hrs in labour and then once you're properly knackered and it's all finally over, you're handed a baby, your baby, and told 'love this and take care of it and oh by the way you can't sleep through the night any time soon. Enjoy!'

Give yourself a break. Talk to a health visitor or a midwife (maybe the one that offered to stay with you out of hours if DP didn't get back in time?) and ask for help. And whatever you do, remember that we will always always always support you and try to cheer you up. Always

Beautiful words, ismarah.

auntie.

Oh auntie I wish I could hug you!

ismarah is much more eloquent than me. Please talk to someone and get some support. And keep posting here - this is what we're all here for.

ismarah

lovely post and I whole wheartedly agree.
big hugs Auntie

but I have to admit I seldom think I do things right.
I had a horrid day - migraine, post op pain, stress, worries and stupid behaviour of one DS2 that culminated in a very near serious accident. I don't understand how BabyZing slept on and wasn't at all harmed after his big brother fell on him!
my mum who saw what happened broke down in tears as she got very frightened.
all fine btw

I'm beyond fed up though.
by the time they finished dinner I was done, overcooked, ripped to pieces and thrown to the dogs.
Between DS2 being a total idiot, DS4 whinging, DS3 bossing him, DS1 being very loud and a bit rude, moody DS5, sobbing DD because I was on the phone to extend library book and screaming BabyZing whom I just simply couldn't feed quickly enough they made me feel like I should just run into a forest and live in a hut

they are sooooo frustrating.

Ohh auntie huge I don't care if it is unmumsnetty hugs I really do understand. Yesterday I had to pit ds down in his cot screaming because I'd tried so hard to get him to sleep and he was so tired but I couldn't stop the screaming. I went and lay down, closed my eyes and calmed down. I then went back where dh had been failing to be able to calm him picked him up and he fell asleep in minutes. I was half re leaved half upset for dh. I know he says whatever works but at the sane time if roles were reversed I think I would be depressed. Honestly I think I am on a very thin edge. Get a good night sleep/not be ill and I can cope with ds who I have accepted is a fussy baby. Be sleep deprived/ill and I cry. A lot. I do my best but don't really cope. I'm lucky to have friends who will take ds for a walk on the days when I can't cope. Yesterday I was constantly in the bathroom (unwell) and a friend took him from 9-12 , I know he will have been upset but I needed to try and rest and it meant I (just about) coped in the afternoon. ..sorry this is so long!!! Really praying for you auntie you are doing such a good job

zing I'm afraid whatever you say you will always be supermum in my eyes! Hope recovery speeds up. Any chance of a child (ish) free lunch/dinner over the weekend? Even just taking baby zing? May be totally unrealistic but I bet even an hour would revitalise you? Xxx

ickle

bless you & thanks, that made me smile. do you imagine me in a superhero costume?

ungrateful as it sounds &despite all of her help I wish my mum could now just go home. she stresses me out big time. I can't relax while she is here, even if we don't argue either there's an "atmosphere" or she starts doing and saying things that starts the argument. I'm at fault too as I just can't sigh and move on but bite and engage with her passive/aggressive behaviour, criticism and unfair comments.
it's a sad sad thing that we don't get on well. I blame her for a lot of things and our personalities and way of thinking are pretty much incompatible.
2 more weeks then I can relax.

Happy Friday everyone!

Hah. I could have written that about my mother, Zing

Auntie do things look better today?

Yes zing with a special zing cloak for sure! Wow 2weeks get that countdown on (even more reason to get out of the house if you can my mum just admits she doesn't like babies...will probably see more of her when ds grows up a bit!