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December 2012 - 2nd birthday party chat? Already?!

985 replies

PurplePidjin · 20/09/2014 20:45

Here we are Brew

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SpottyTeacakes · 24/11/2014 15:08

Yes it was all fine. Great food etc. My dad was more nervous than all of us put together Smile

No chaperone as only 7 on the mini bus (driver used to be a teacher). She's just shy really unfortunately!

Barbeasty · 24/11/2014 15:34

DD tells me about her friends in other years, "but I don't talk to them mummy"

A cried. I felt it served him right and hopefully he'll leave the taps alone in future. He'd already pulled the plug.

utopian99 · 24/11/2014 20:25

Dh and I had a talk today about O. Dh is worried about his behaviour as not just since A arrived but for maybe a month or so before he has been a bit twitchy/clingy etc and he wants to know if this is a. Normal for the age he is, b. Due to him being mainly at home with me for longer than planned, as our plans for nursery/cm got messed around (he starts at the montessori in January, so that's finally sorted.)
I got a bit weepy, not because dh was saying anything bad, probably pg hormones changing back but also because this is in the frame of reference to friend's and his really competitive wife's toddler, who is 3 months younger. I was really worried when they said they would be having one just after us that she'd get competitive about them, but so long as dh and I love O I don't care much. I just started worrying this afternoon that dh might be being affected by her constant comparison. Is his behaviour normal, by two year old standards? Surely most of them go through this sort of screaming/angst stage?

utopian99 · 24/11/2014 20:27

It's not even that regular to me, just more so than it was 6 months ago. Sorry for the angst on my own part, but dh had asked me to ask you all for a frame of reference as we don't have much else...

halestone · 24/11/2014 21:08

Utopian in what way do you mean twitchy/clingy? IME H can be clingy especially if she is tired or there are people shes not use to around.

PurplePidjin · 24/11/2014 22:11

utopian one friend of mine has a dc a few months older just coming out of this phase, no other dc. another friend has just had her 2nd and her older one (Dec 12) has been very clingy. i think it's totally normal - they're getting more able to understand what a big place the world is

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Stacks · 25/11/2014 07:26

Hmm, what's T like just now? At home he's quite demanding of time and attention. He will order DH and I into different rooms, usually insisting one is us takes E with us. He'll then pick one to play with and try and limit all contact between us. This could be verbally telling us, crying, or being naughty.
During the day when he's hime with just me he's pretty good. Will sometimes demand E go in her chair so we can play, but I think understands our play has to be with E, so it's not often an issue.
If a stranger visits our house he will almost climb himself into my arms, hide in my shoulder and go really passive and quiet. We don't have visitors often (all my friends disappeared when we had kids). He's ok with family visiting, and wants to monopolise all their time, though not as bad as with DH and I.
We have one regular playgroup that he's very happy with. He seems to know the parents and children there, and be happy to go play on his own. We've been going there since before he was 1, but we've known the leaders since PEEP, so at about 3m old. He will ask me to give E away to someone quite often though, so he can get some 1-1 with me.
Other playgroups we've been going along to for nearly as long, but which have a more fluid set of children/parents he usually wants me to follow him round and/or hold his hand while playing. He's often scared of boisterous children. He will run to me for protection from them, but also if he's stolen a toy, or thinks another child wants what he's got.
He's really happy to say hi/bye yo people when in the pushchair, and will sometimes talk to them properly. Other times he'll be shy and smile, but love their attention.
In a new situation with new people he will want me as close as possible, but will generally play well. He will talk to new adults if they're nice to him and let him take his time.
He's scared of dogs that are friendly, he loves dogs that ignore him. I think that kind of sums him up really :)
Helpful at all Utopian? If you want more detail about anything specific just say.

MrsNutella · 25/11/2014 12:33

Utopian It's normal. He has had a lot of change in his little world over the last couple of months, so he has to do lots of adjusting to new stuff as well as all the developing that toddlers do. He is a very busy boy

Stacks he sounds very bossy. Grin We often refer to DS as the boss Smile

utopian99 · 25/11/2014 12:34

Thanks guys. My feeling is that its just down to age - so many strangers as well as people we know say he's lovely and sociable, but recently he has been really easy to tip over into tantrums which I think is what has dh worried..

PurplePidjin · 25/11/2014 12:56

They're 2, they're learning to control the world. If you're really worried, talk to your HV/GP/someone at nursery/leader of local playgroup (mine are run by childminders and people employed as family workers by the church so are an excellent source of support!)

R has a temp of 39, croup and a chest infection. He was fine yesterday, was wakeful and coughing all evening and a couple of times in the night so I thought it was teeth. Went off to my mum's to drop him so I could get some rest and he conked out in the car for an hour she has a massive window overlooking her drive so I could leave him and have a sit down at least He woke up breathing rapidly so I've had him seen by the GP and she's prescribed a dose of steroids and a few days of anti-b's. I've popped him down for a nap, and will bundle him up in the sling to fetch his meds later. Not going to let his sleep more than a couple of hours though, I want to keep an eye on him.

What's the betting I get shoulder ache wrapping him on my front after all this time Hmm

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MrsNutella · 25/11/2014 13:03

Utopian DS doesn't tantrum too badly - yet- I know it's coming.
I often find his outrageous demands really funny.
He wanted an apple yesterday evening. DH takes the core out of an apple and starts to slice it. DS freaks he wants the apple whole. Ok, no worries. Here have the apple. Except now there is a piece missing Shock disaster. I can't help but chuckle he cooled down soon enough and munched his apple though.

Pidj I suggested it for utopian the other day something like Vicks smeared on the soles of their feet. I know it's bonkers but I swear it works on DS. I hope R feels better soon. Thanks

SpottyTeacakes · 25/11/2014 13:14

Poor r hope he feels better soon.

Ds has had a few full on lying on the floor kicking his feet tantrums Grin

PurplePidjin · 25/11/2014 15:01

yup, shoulder strain! worth it though - skin to skin and fresh air have brought his temperature down Grin

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halestone · 25/11/2014 15:15

Thanks for R i hope he is better soon and Brew for you Pidj i hope your ok as well.

Utopian we have full on tantrums here as well i hate them it makes me cringe and there is absolutely nothing i can do to stop it to console her.

Stacks · 25/11/2014 16:28

I have made DSL sound quite bossy, and he is, but he's also a very good boy for the most part. I started (and one day intend to finish) a book on toddler behaviour which said basically all a toddler wants is attention- the grade A type. If they can't get it one way, they'll get it any way they can. Once I started looking out for it, I could see basically all our temper tantrums and bad behaviour was designed to get attention. Now if he does need to share me, I periodically give him a little attention between whatever I'm doing. It works well for us.
The other "tantrums" we get are for silly control stuff. Like today I got his shoes for him. That was wrong! He went and put his shoes back, then picked them up again and brought them back to me so I could put them on. It's kind of funny, kind of frustrating. I just try and roll with it :)

SpottyTeacakes · 25/11/2014 16:35

I really want to do an aibu but it will out me.

Today my mum was at our hospital and spoke to my consultants secretary because they've postponed my appt by two months. Mentioned I had got married and secretary asked dh's surname. Mum told her. I went to the drs earlier and my name has been changed to mrsdhname!! I think this is completely out of order and breaks a whole load of confidentiality rules etc not to mention they had no evidence ie marriage certificate! I'm really annoyed actually.

ddas · 25/11/2014 20:18

spotty that is totally mad given the information was not from you and you haven't ask for any change to occur! Some people like me keep their maiden name despite being married- hate the assumptions.
Why's your app been postponed- remember you being in not long ago with dka.

pidjin hope he gets better soon. I still carry dd on my front which shows how little she is compared to others her age!

utopian dd has tantrums about the silliest things. Has quite a good vocab now with full sentences but think sometimes can't explain what the matter is. Tantrums are just age related- even ds who is 3/4 has them just for different reasons and articulates why which I find more frustrating. Dd is also clingy in new surroundings until she settles down then suddenly her normal personality comes out. She goes to nursery a few mornings a wk and goes to playgroups but normal for her age and also her personality I suspect will be like that- shy until she feels comfortable and then sudden switch to extrovert.

ddas · 25/11/2014 20:19

Asked not ask

SpottyTeacakes · 25/11/2014 20:22

It's a year since I DKA'd Grin it's been postponed because he's on holiday, which is fine, but two months when it was a three month f/u is a bit silly.

Ds' birthday tomorrow so we are going to our local soft play. They sell wine Wine

halestone · 25/11/2014 22:04

Happy Birthday to F Spotty, i hope he has a brilliant day. I find it a bit weird also that, your name has been changed.

I have just watched Miracle babies and spent the majority of the time crying. I will be cuddling H extra hard tonight when she gets into my bed. Also i will be thanking my lucky stars she never needed that care.

PurplePidjin · 25/11/2014 22:31

complain, spotty, huge confidentiality fucking up Angry

emotional literacy comes later than vocabulary so if they have strong feelings they can't always describe it, hence meltdown o'clock

happy birthday F Cake

r sleeping a bit better, settled properly around 8. quiet day tomorrow while ab's kick in

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WLmum · 25/11/2014 22:40

pidj isn't amazing that skin to skin never loses its magic. I hope he feels better soon.
spotty absolute breach. Happy birthday to F - wine at soft play? I'm there!
utopian ime the range of normal behaviour in a small child is huge. You haven't gone into much detail but nothing you said sounds abnormal to me. DH used to say he was worried that dd1 had OCD tendencies because she wanted things just so and didn't like change - now at 7, she's had some big changes over the last couple of years and has taken them all in her stride. Dd2 was more relaxed as a little un but is now struggling with anxiety - up for an hour at midnight last night worrying about our kitchen catching fire after a similar (v minor) scene in her school reading book. They go through phases which drive you mad or make you worry only to come out the other side and make you wonder what all the fuss was about. Clingy/tantrumy/contrary behaviour is completely normal in a 2/3/4 yo.

ddas · 26/11/2014 12:14

Today prime example. Ds wanted to take his new library book to school- I explained that he could look at it in the car but once we got to preschool it would have to stay with me. Cue nearly the start of a tantrum on arrival to the classroom. Luckily the teacher came and said do you want me to read you your book today- one very pleased little boy and turns out they are allowed to bring own books into school. They just never let us know! Ds could have explained this to me if he was older but natural for 3/4 yr olds reaction to being told they can't do something is to get upset especially as he was right all along!

ddas · 26/11/2014 12:15

Forgot to say we had the first tantrum at home but compromise was you can have it in the car

ddas · 26/11/2014 12:27

A big happy bday to felix!! I need to know where this soft play that sells wine is!