March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

[Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife]

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

Well put Stormy. Plonky it sounds like it all feels evil right now. Like most things in life it'll pass and you have to think of a survival strategy in the meantime. Everyone expects the bride to be to be a bit stressed so I suspect you can bridezilla away and most people will just want to pave your way to satisfaction by helping with whatever it is you're unhappy with. I had a proper melt down/storm off to summer house/wail when I opened the dress bag to discover the dress had a water mark on it just on my bum where people would be staring during the ceremony. I forgot about it soon after but at the time it was rubbish. All your nearest and dearest are invested in your big day because they want you to have the best time, it's a super charged atmosphere with many people trying to keep stuff ticking along (including the various relationships). DP ultimately wants you happy so it sounds like he's intervening to try and smooth things over but making a bit of a balls up of it as men are prone to do Hopefully things feel a bit better now?

Stormy I've just had an hour of bedtime antics too but thankfully no croup. Sounds frustrating for you all, especially when there's not much that can be done about it. Just hoping the passage of time helps improve things. Is she asleep yet?

Wotta how does the house look? Pleased?

Something sounds like dp owes you. Best way to pay you back? Offer to do the drive on Saturday and take whole responsibility for ds so you can dance to tiffany and get drunk with Plonky

Doli is tonight any better? Is she recovered from the post immunisation illness now? Have you had time to book a visit to the nice pre prep you had your eye on? Sounds competitive for places down your way if people are registering pre birth. My friend is just twelve weeks pregnant, fifth pregnancy, and her belly has properly popped out already, has yours this time?

Plonky we now have Going Down Stairs! I think ds inspired her. It's a bit haphazard but generally safe. She has a face full of wounds right now though which makes me scared to register at a new doctors just yet. Firstly she crept around my legs from other side of room whilst I was in a cupboard and I closed said cupboard door without realising she was there. Vertical bruise on forehead. Secondly whilst camping she was sat on a cute mini camp chair and fell off sideways so she got an adult camp chair in her face. Now sporting a round bruise to her cheek. I'm hoping for no stairs related injuries to add to these.

Ecotod regularly puts stones in her mouth. I have given up preventing this now. It's an endless task for an outdoorsy pair. Anyhow, today she was doing more stone sucking whilst I got the washing in but after a while I decided it sounded a bit too, well, crunchy so I investigated. Out popped a partially chewed (and who knows how much ingested) garden snail. Not in an envy way but in a puke way. Yuck!

Earlier on we'd travelled to Oxfordshire to meet my best friend and her daughter and we spent a hot afternoon in the dappled shade on the side of the Chilterns with red kites flying around like sparrows. Lovely!

Plonky, it will be fine. Promise.

House is fab! Downstairs immaculate - decided to focus attention there as I need to do tidying upstairs before she can do a deep clean. But even upstairs is all hoovered and the bath toys are lined up on the windowsill neatly .

Plonky, take SIL out of all jobs and planning pre-wedding and tell her that if she's feeling poorly she might prefer to sleep at home on Friday and come over first thing. I know it means a change of plan and that you'll have one less helper but it doesn't sound like she'll be much use and you'll only end up loosing less help as others will be fussing around her making sure she feels ok. You'll also look like the generous kind SIL that's putting her needs first. Always good to have a favour in the bank! Also did I read right and will you be sleeping on an air bed on Friday? Bugger that! You're the bloody bride!!!

I meant sleep at home on Thursday. As in Wedding Eve. Oops.

Eco, we have a facial injury too! First one not caused by her own nails. Climbing over the back of the sofa to get to my computer, slipped, banged her cheek on the desk. L shaped red mark from her eye all the way down her cheek. On the plus side, infectious group means no going out, so no one will see and think me a terrible mother.

We've had half an hour of sleep, then ten minutes of coughing and screaming, now quiet again. Another rough night ahead, I fear.

I'm sure there was something else... Oh yes, cleansers. It feels like doli and the swimming pool again, we are in such different worlds. I don't even know what a cleanser is!

No I was right tHe first time. I've had very little sleep and a long day and now my eyes have gone funny. Just ignore me!

Eco having a nightmare bed time, or lack thereof again, due the heat, but I just wanted to dive in quickly as the snails story worried me. Slugs and snails are the hosts for lung worm, which is serious, so now you know dd has a taste for them watch her like hawk.

Not been anywhere near anything remotely educational establishment yet. Too knackered to be honest. Heat, plus bump, plus non-sleeping toddler. Not a great mix.

Speaking of bumps, I'm huge! I was expecting to show a little earlier this time, but not from the moment of conception . At a guess I'd say I'm currently about where I was at 20 weeks first time round. As you can imagine this has not been great for keeping it under wraps until after the twelve week scan. Put it this way, random acquaintances have taken to telling me I 'look well' and talking to my stomach.

Something he what? And you let him? Me I'd have cooked lunch, badly, then handed him both baby and puppy and gone for a two hour bike ride myself. I'm taking it you've told him he owes you. Big time!

Plonky there will come a day will you will look back on hypochondriac SIL with amusement, if not quite affection. Personally, if it were me, I'd delegate all her duties to anyone from DP to the neighbour's teenage daughter (assuming you have one), and just assume she is a delicate flower that may wilt if required to act like an adult. As for DP and his phone calls. He is probably just trying to keep two women happy. He is failing, and has probably pi55ed of both with his efforts. Fairly normal for a man in a corner I'd say.

Right, back to the toddle and her sleep refusing tactics. DH is upstairs singing to her. He has been there for hours some time. I ought to take over.

Stormy we have more in common than you think. I have never used a cleanser. I wouldn't even know how to use a cleanser. I don't know how to use makeup either. DD will probably teach me one day.

Ah thank you all for putting me at ease (yet again). Turns out she has an iron absorption issue and is therefore quite anaemic. So yes Betty she gets my bed, mum and dad in another bed and me on air bed. Because I'm not a delicate flower and I won't make a fucking song and dance over it. She's coming over on Friday (not Thursday as that'd mean sleeping in the lounge on an airbed) and will be on cake decorating duty because, well, she is too much of a liability. I can't have her collapsing over a trestle table or clothes lining herself on the bunting. It frustrates me so much because she's actually a really nice girl, very bright and far more capable than she realises. She's just graduated too, so should be full of excitement but has had a longish spate of shit health and is a very young 21 year old. Good luck to her backpacking across South America in a few months.

Ahem. Thank god I have a safe place with you ladies where I can say all this stuff without extra drama.

And yes, I think dp was trying to do the wrong thing and just inadvertently stuffed his size 11s into his clumsy mouth.

eco we have stone munching. I see it as a necessary evil, a way of exploring nature. Dp sees it as the route of all harm and disease. I'd be wary of snails, as Doli says, but a bit of muck ain't a worry. And Tiffany! We're a little too young more punky in our tastes. We've opted instead for 30 mins of stupidly fast punk/ska at 10.30 ish to get everyone messy. Something you'd best bring some comfy shoes!

Betty I've taken a leaf out of your book. Not wedding wellies, but some brown leather boots in case it rains!

Doli whenever anyone questions your status as a bonafide hardass in the future, just mention that you were pregnant in the summer of '14 and had a toddler. And you didn't cave and start buying girly shit like makeup

I love a good cleanse, me. But then I do like looking at my mush in a mirror.

plonky it is ok to act like bridezilla. I think you should leave sil out of the preparations. She will only get you worked up more.

something I am at your dp. I hope you told him he owes one. Hope you both get well soon.

stormy doli and anyone else having trouble settling their dc into bed. Hope you are all ok. It is another hot and sticky night ahead.

Oh eco I laughed and said eughh at your dd munching on a snail. It is a delicacy in some countries.

Ah, cleanser. It's the only thing that stops my skin from peeling off my face in unattractive sheets. I have rather rubbish skin - reacts to all sorts. Consequently happy to pay equivalent of national debt of small third world country for anything which leaves it attached to my face . Does last well. And not much faffing required - slap on with fingers, wash off with water. S'like soap.

Hope fartypants is on the mend stormy.

I'm rather prone to a nose full of speckly black speckles Wotta, hurray for skin things. Remind me of your tears-of-a-unicorn cleanser when I'm rich, ok?

Yummy is ds any better?

Something want me to throw my drink at dp on Saturday? I jest of course. My drink belongs in my belly.

Sorry for previous italics fail. It's all this bridal rage gone haywire.

Oh no Doli, DH and I have now opened the gates to doctor Google and see children have died of lungworm from slugs in Australia. I am now checking on Ecotod and dh is suggesting I'm a little over cautious.

Tiffany not cool? But she wears an ankle length jumper Plonky. Nuff said.

Best get the kettle on Stormy, that might help with your long night. Fingers crossed you end up not needing it.

Wotta tidy bath toys eh? The mark of a happy household!

Ds still has high temperature. So he has been ill since monday (but I think it started sunday night as he wouldn't settle), when do I need to take him to GP? I thought his temperature would have gone down by now.

Fartypants is getting brief snatches of sleep between coughing fits. I have yet to sleep at all. Not helped by noisy neighbours. Do they not realise, everyone has their windows open because it's too hot, so everyone can hear them sitting in their yard talking?

Yummy, does his temp dip with calpol or not? If it isn't responding, ie coming down a couple of hours after he has some then I would def see the quack. Does he still have the dire rear? Is he at all dehydrated? If you're concerned about that at all I would also def go. In fact if it would give you any peace of mind anyway then I would . Hope he feels better soon.

And poor coughy fartypants. It's horrid isn't it? Hope you both got some sleep. In case you didn't.

Eco as you got it out of her mouth she's more than likely suffered nothing worse than a nasty taste, but it is something to be aware of. Something puppies are partial to the odd snail as well, so unless you already have, get the relevant wormer from the vet next time you are passing. That's how I know about this stuff. Dog2 ate everything.

Yummy I'd take him in, just for personal reassurance really. Can't do any harm and if nothing else it will set your mind at rest.

Stormy how are you both? Did you get any sleep?

Brilliant night here last night, as after an epic settle of several hours she actually slept through, and is only just stirring now. The new muslin sheet bag arrived. I'm giving it 5 stars, it's fab! I want one myself actually

Well done dolitoddle on the sleeping! I am so very jealous. Every cough last night led to crying. DD slept in the brief gaps between coughs. I didn't. Managed to get an hour or so, but dreamed I was in a plane that got nuked, so not tremendously restful. Vaguely remember reading here in the night. Will watch out for any attempts to eat snails or slugs.

So. Cleanser is expensive gunk used to wash other expensive gunk off one's face? I think I'll pass. And I can proudly say I last wore makeup in 2008, and that was a one off for my sister's wedding. She had to apply it, because I wouldn't know where to start. She's improved since we were kids though. Barely poked me in the eye at all.

We have a gp appointment later.

Dolitoddle well done for sleeping through.

Get well soon to fartypants. Perhaps she will have a good nap later stormy.

I am miserable and tired. We had hourly wakings after 1pm.

Make up? I only wear make up at weddings. If I am feeling crazy I will wear black mascara. Make up is not my thing. For skincare I am using simple face wash but need to find a better one because these spots from mirena coil will not be beaten.

Yes yummy I'd go to the gp too, for peace of mind if anything.

Stormy that sounds so shit, I hope you both get chance to nap today. Betty gave me a good tip when ds was suffering with a barky cough - turn the shower on so it's steamy, and sit in the bathroom with dd. It might ease her chest? MIL used to have a humidifier thing for dp when he was wee with bad asthma.

Cleanser is a necessary evil. But not as evil the effects of wearing makeup without cleansing. But yes, it's essentially gunk for de-gunking. And if you get a posh one it smells nice.

Doli glad you had a better night. And at least no more jabs for awhile.

Eco a jumper to her ankles eh? Wow. Bit warm for that.

I'm in for a day of DIY, sorting both gardens and ironing. The tents at my parents look great, the guys were still there at 7 laying the floor down though. And we have missing toilets Best get back to it!

Plonky don't forget to squeeze a bit of rest into your busy schedule. Wiped out is not the best look for the bride on her big day. Delegate, delegate, delegate, and if in doubt, delegate.

Stormy we have your croup. Well not yours exactly, but someone's, and it's now ours. We also have an itchy scratchy head which I'm hoping against hope is heat not head lice related. I have never had to deal with head lice. How'd I know if she had them? Are they visible???? Fleas, ticks, mites, worms.... all things dog I can deal with, but kiddie stuff is a complete mystery to me.

Make-up, well when I said I never wear any I was perhaps being a little disingenuous. As someone who is still spot prone well past the usual cut off date I am no stranger to concealer, and I have been known to tone down a red nose with a touch of foundation. Beyond that though is beyond me, unless you count my one and only ill advised attempt at lipstick. Wasn't a success.

Dogs are barking and toddle is asleep. I am off to shut them in. They are their own worst enemies on this.

Doli headlice are visible if you look very closely. Check behind ears and back of neck. Lice are dark but the eggs are white. If in doubt go through her hair with a nit comb but make sure she has conditioner in her hair.

First day of wiFi for three months. How efficient the Web seems now. Lovely.

Yummy how was doc, what did they say? Ds have a lower temperature now? How awful in this hot weather to have a small one burning up.

Stormy Sounds sucky your end too. Each night that passes like this is a night closer to her being well I suppose. Can you house swap with the man for a night so he looks after dd?

Doli where did you get the muslin bag from please?

Plonky why oh why oh why a few days before your wedding are you doing diy?! I love the way you're referring to 'tents', are they in fact marquees or is it something trendy like tipis? How's progress been today? Have you sorted your old, new, borrowed, blue? I made a disgusting blue garter for my own wedding that has been used by another bride since as well. If you want to kill two birds then just say and I'll post it

Hot today. We've had some trouble at bed time for a few days with lots of eye gouging so took her to pharmacist today who advised they can't help children under two and that doctor was needed. So that encouraged me to get registered and the doc says it is, as suspected, hay fever. So we have Piriton syrup which has the bonus of helping with itchy eyes and making babies drowsy. Result.

The heat made me realise that dresses are so handy and cool and how unfair it is that boys can't do them.....all that air wafting around your nappy. Can the boy babies still get away with shortie rompers or is it shorts and vests all the way with you guys?

Today I planned where to hang our pictures so it's officially getting nearer the 'settled in' stage. Problem is the packing boxes don't get collected until first august (when Plonky will be a married lady of considerable experience) so it's still very much chaos here. But chaos with Kent raspberries and whipping cream in the fridge so it's not all bad

Any how the devil are you doing? Gerry are you enjoying the different pace of school now the pesky kids have gone? Shattered how are you feeling this week? Something why is work rubbish at present?

Yummy thank you, that has set my mind at rest. She has very fine very blond hair so anything at all in it would be very obvious, and there is nothing. Just itchy heat I think. I've got it too, which is why I was having fits over the possible head lice situation. The closest I've ever had to head lice was mites from the puppy (buy a pup from a farm at your peril). Mites are probably worse, but I'd rather not test that theory.

Eco I had to resort to Amazon, absolutely everywhere else is sold out. Express delivery took 2 days, and was worth the extra cost. Get the 18 month - 3 year size. It sounds enormous, but isn't really.

Agree re dresses, I've a couple of very thin muslin cotton ones with straps rather than sleeves, and if she had her way she'd never wear anything else.

Fun day today, as my mum sent the toddle a trike, and we had an inaugural outing to the park this morning. It's a lot of fun, but don't make the mistake I made of thinking you could go to the shops with it. Someone got bored and wanted out. Someone else wanted her to stay in. It was a battle of wills for at least half the way, and I'm not entirely convinced I won.

Big day tomorrow, 12 week scan and Harmony test. Scans scare me. Knowledge may be power, but no knowledge is at times a tad more relaxing. Gingers crossed all is ok.