July 2013 - Part 1. Remember your pelvic floor exercises!

[TotallyEggFlipped]

Time to start the post-natal thread.

And start those PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES!

Hi all. Have been lurking but had nothing of interest to say! We are thinking about my return to work here. I have my first keeping in touch day on Thursday which I'm really nervous about. Excited though to have a bit of time! I am desperate to stay off til the end of March. I'm really hopeful that as long as we keep the belts tightened!!

I think L might be teething too. She may be a bit earlier than DS was. I used to give him those funny little herbal powders in the grease proof paper. Are they still on the go? What's everyone else using to ease their discomfort? I want to get ahead of the game and don't want to wait til she's really uncomfortable.

She has fallen into a lovely pattern of feeds in the day. Bottles at breakfast, lunch, tea and supper; but there's an irritating wake at about 2 that's painful! She's not really hungry. Has about an ounce then drops off! Grr! She's then been the baby equivalent of tossing and turning from 4. Is asleep but noisy and restless. We've been wondering if she is chilly as we are on the second floor in the roof. Have put on vest, sleep suit and sleeping bag tonight so we shall see!

I have to admit, I love this age. You kind of know where you are with them and they adore you!! Bliss!!

He woke up hungry again. I am finally eating my dinner at ten to eleven. DH has appeared, dumped his shoes and work trousers on the kitchen floor and disappeared upstairs. I am unreasonably annoyed.

Apparently DH is ill and went to be sick. So now I feel guilty for being angry.

I am going to drink and maybe cry a bit. Tomorrow is another day, right?

Abzs u hope you had a good night & feel better this morning. (& DH is better too!)

I don't have a job to go back to, because I was just doing a locum job before. Going to have to start applying for jobs early next year. Hopefully something will come up again.

N keeps getting her arm stuck through the bars of her crib. I wonder if we need to move her into something bigger already.

Is there anyone on the MN thread who hasn't joined the FB group & would like to?
Or doesn't want to join FB but would like to be kept in the loop re: meet-ups? There's a SW one in Bristol in November & a London one planned too.

Abz I hope things settled down for you all.

SNFED I am not on Facebook due to work. I am in the Midlands though so the first meet ups wouldn't work for me.

SNFED I'm not in the FB group, just being unnecessarily paranoid mostly due to v identifiable/unique RL name, that and not wanting to end up delivering anyone else in the group's baby... (or at least knowing about it!). Maybe I should just get over it and join the group, would love to see pics of the babies! Would definitely like to be kept in the loop about a London meet up.

Oh and today will be sponsored by CBeebies and caffeine... B only fed at 1 and 5.30 ish but DS was awake from 2.30-4.15, DH mostly dealt with him but I couldn't get back to sleep. DS is now sleeping but B, who usually goes back to sleep til about 9ish after her morning feed, is awake and buzzing. I'm broken.

Hi all, been missing in action but stealing a chance to post now
abzs hope dh is better and j slept well in cot with no puddles!
vinegar I saw you on mn round up too! Fame at last!
dinky glad increased dose is helping

Well we had quite a weekend with ds3 ill and getting up 3 or 4 times a night plus m waking up 3 times!! Poor dh was doing half marathon on Sunday and somehow managed his best time yet despite the broken sleep.
Luckily ds3 now back to his normal mischievous self and no-one else ill. Anyway I decided to try M in cot 2 nights ago and she slept from 11-6am!! Then. 6.15 till 9.30! Amazing! She did almost as well last night so bye bye Moses basket! Like abzs J she sleeps will arms up and out so much more room in cot for that.

Extension quote has come in a bit higher than we hoped so we are having to ask bank for 50% more than originally planned, fx they agree. Our planning application is now in so it's a waiting game now.
School holidays here, and childminder away for 2 weeks so got lots planned to keep everyone entertained but I'm already looking forward to the weekend when dh is around to help
13+2

All quiet this morning. DH is tucked up in bed. J is having a nap wrapped up in a blanket on the play mat on the living room floor - not a morning boy - with Eeyore for company. Development of the week is holding toys. CatB is the only one shouting - on the window sill wanting in.

SNFED I'm not on the FB. So far I've not mixed my FB, MN and blog identities. PM you if I want to take the plunge? Re meet ups, I guess it's up to thinking and me up this way. Unless a NW Englandshire one was arranged when I'm on family visiting duty.

Anyone else cold today? Heating is on here.

Lost a really long post but was probably rambling.

Abz glad things are better this morning and hope your dh soon feels better and can help you out a little. Yes its freezing. I took j for a walk and got soaked so have comforted myself with bourbons and tea

J has pretty much slept all day. When he wakes he cries so he's obviously tired but don't want to ruin his (selfishly my) chances of sleeping tonight. Do I wake him?

Vinegar I'm a big fan of city jogger. Though forward facing when used with car seat it's rear facing so lots of options.

Tempted by facebook but worried about not being incognito

PM me if you want to join the FB group.

Vinegar - dinky is organising the London meet-up for 28th November. I'm sure she'll post on here too.

Hello everyone, apologies for my complete lack of posting here. I just feel a bit boring really as everything seems ok here - 12 weeks now and no big disasters. No real daytime routine, but nights seem to be going ok. F weighs a stone and is a wonderful smiley baby. I'm generally pretty exhausted, but generally pretty good.

Anyway - I have a question about childcare as I suspect burying my head in the sand won't work. DH insists that "we'll work something out" but goes no further in actually trying to discuss it so it's like a massive white elephant. So... does anyone have any advice/experience of flexible childcare? Is there even such a thing? We have no family local to help. I am intending to go back to work full time, but this will be shift work with evenings, weekends and nights. DH is a freelance musician whose schedule is more hectic and less predictable than mine. He can be at home for long periods, but then tours away from home at times. Clearly paying for a full-time nursery place is madness when he could be looked after by DH at times. But no childminder is going to want such a flexible arramgement, are they? What's the deal with nannies? not fannies, thank you autocorrect Or au pairs? We are not rolling in cash although not in dire financial straits... man, I'm such a novice at all this. Am I going to have to transfer up north to be near family?

I'm not really sure what I want anyone to say - please not "you'll never make it work" or "you should have thought about this before you had a baby". But am I totally doomed? DH is loathe to give up his work, but I am the main breadwinner and can't see another way...

Sorry that was massive. Consider the floodgates opened...

You guys really are similar to us! DH is a musician, though one of the biggest changes since before DS was born is that he now earns the majority of his money teaching rather than playing, whereas pre-DC it was the other way round. We're in London which also helps, but he doesn't do any touring or, tbh, many gigs at all these days. It was a conscious choice for him and was mainly driven by wanting to be around for the DC but also he really fell in love with teaching, so although he gets the odd twinge of jealousy seeing what his mates are up to, there's no resentment.

We do have my odd hours to content with, and the fact he works evenings teaching from home (as well as teaching in school 3 daytimes & all day Sat) but we are incredibly fortunate to have family locally to cover those odd times. DH does the childcare the other 2 daytimes.

I also work LTFT which reduces the number of long days/nights etc proportionally. I do "80%" at the moment, but on our Rota it works out as > 36 hrs pw average so I earn 90% of my FT equivalent salary.

Anyway none of that is much help to you! I would approach CMs/nurseries and explain the situation. You may be lucky and find some that are flexible, although I imagine they would all want you to commit to 1-2 days pw minimum. I read a post on here from a supply teacher who had a CM who she paid 1 day every week then others on top depending on her work (details might be wrong).

I would post on the Childcare board, you may well find others in the same situation. There is a reason many Drs have nannies though! (Cost effective from DC2 onwards I am told).

Clenching I am also on denial about child care! While I've been on maternity leave they have completely changed the way we work, we used to work our own diaries to a certain extent with reasonably fixed days off which I think was going to work! I'm not sure I will be able to have fix days off which makes it very difficult with child care so will be interested if anyone has any good ideas or if I need to look at changing my job!

Bah my post just disappeared! I was basically saying either a live in nanny or some compromises would be best bet!

Thanks all, especially Vinegar (I had a sneaky suspicion we had similarly inclined husbands too!). DH also teaches both privately and in the local county music centre, and I suspect that he'll focus more on this, although performing is his first love. How do you manage nights?

I am sure we will make it work, somehow, but I'll have to talk with my rota co-ordinator and we do need to get on the case soon!

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.

Clenching - you can make it work. Dh works long hours, I work long hours (normally in office till 6 home to put kids to bed and then from home but can be in office till past midnight and have to work weekends too) - for this reason, and because our jobs arent the kind you can take days off at short notice to care for an ill child (nurseries and cms won't take ill kids) we went for a nanny who is flexible about doing additional hours. An au pair can't be in sole charge of a baby but a live in nanny (if you have space) is alot cheaper than a live out nanny. My musician/magazine writer friends have live out nannies on min hour contracts - they pay above average hourly rate for a certain no of hours a week on basis they can add on (at same above hourly rate) if needed for evenings/overnights etc. We have had our nanny for 7 years this year - at the start we were the only people we knew with a nanny but gradually more and more of our friends have started using nannies as is much more flexible and cost effective with more than one child.

Beginning - total pain about working patterns being changed. I guess you'd need to line up childcare for the whole week and pay for days you don't use in that scenario.

London Nov meet up planned for 28 Nov somewhere on the south bank - all more than welcome! Message me if you want more details.

Thinking - glad M is sleeping well - long may it continue and spread round too! Good luck with the bank manager - building work always seems to cost so much!

Cheek - lots of sleep may be a growth spurt. Hope he sleeps well for you tonight.

Abzs - poor you,yesterday sounds a shocker! Hope today has been much better.