DECEMBER 2012: The start of crawling and the end of maternity leave

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Well ds needed settling at 1 but only quickly and has just woken for the day now hoping he might go back down but he sounds rather cheery....

Second time ds has not only refused breakfast but cried as though I'm trying to hurt him when I put the spoon near him he did the same with lunch yesterday. I think it's tiredness he's up too early so just wants boob and back to bed

Interesting about the level of settling required hales
Glad your night was as bad you feared spotty but a little later morning would have been nice I'm sure! T cries at being offered breakfast before a nap but eats it all after.

I was up with her 2.30 til 4.30 last night trying to settle her without boob. I didn't let her cry at all as its too hot to be getting in a state but I think it was steps in the right direction. When she wouldn't settle I gave her a few minutes of boob to ward off hunger or thirst and them cuddled/rocked her. The problem was that got wide awake! She was happy enough for a bit then would cry out.
Actually when she woke at 2.30 she had a fat little leg wedged between the cot bars - maybe it was that that woke her!

It's really frustrating when they're wide awake in the middle of the night, I would rather be up feeding every two hours!

I've got to tackle my upstairs today. Our bedroom is such a mess and I have a billion bloody moths in the landing (dead and alive). I'm going to hoover the bastards up, when I can be bothered to get up off of the sofa...

I've just had a (mild) telling off by the health visitor for not forcing O to settle on his own at bedtime. She said the longer we leave it the harder it'll be and we'll haveto sooner or later.
Feel like we should now but really upset there's no other way. If we just pat/shush him in his cot he just cries; dothey rreally not just grow out of it?

I honestly think it depends on the baby uptopian. You have to do what you feel is right for you and him.

My sister still breastfeeds her nearly 3yo to sleep even though she has no milk....(she had to stop due to medication and dn would only fall asleep in the sling so once my sister finished her meds she started feeding her to sleep again). It's not something I would do but it's right for them and that's all that matters I think.

I agree that you must do what's right for you when it's right. Although I think self settling is not something they will just do on their own - why would they if they have never known anything other than feeding/rocking etc. if you are happy for now that's all that matters. When you become unhappy you can make a decision to change things. Any change will always be tough but only for a short time.

I think you know your baby best Utopian, you should do what feels right for you at a time that feels right for you. My sister left her DD with me when she was a year old and i did CC with her it took 3 nights for her to get it but she was ready at that time and wasn't confused by it. I think i will eventually have to do it with H but she is not ready yet.

I just rang my local hospital to see about donating some expressed breast milk now that we're on the weaning journey but you have to do it before your baby is 6 months

Utopian, I think all babies are different. Some will just get it one day, some will need teaching. C was in the latter camp, she didn't know the first thing about how to sleep on her own. After about 2.5 days of CIO she got it, and has slept better as a consequence. Seems generally happier in her cot too. You should do what you're comfortable with, not because some HV is saying 'should should should' to you. One thing I have definitely worked out is that there are precious few real shoulds around. You should feed and love and keep them safe - apart from that there's lots of grey area.

Ds has not stopped crying this week. It's like being back when he was four or five months old I have zero patience for it.

Mama i love that post

I've just got the best news ever. I'm going back to working in the chippy it means i can quit my factory job which i'll miss loads but i couldn't do the hours with Heidi. Money will be tight but manageable and i don't have to worry about childcare now

Oh spotty i hope it gets better for you soon. Is it this heat its affecting everyone.

Yay great news hales! I think so, he was fine last week but I'm pretty sure it's much hotter now. It's going to cool down Saturday but then hot up again.

Great news hales and thanks everyone for being helpful. I do want him to learn but he just seems too young, or maybe I'm too soft and it'll all come back to bite us. I asked my mother who said she never did it with us but we naturally stopped wanting milk last thing and when my dB and I were about one she found it easier toexplain why it was bedtime and leave us without crying..

The proper research says you shouldn't sleep train until a minimum of 12 monthsbut better after 2 years old. Your hv is a twat

I had to stab my mate in the leg with her epi pen earlier, wave her off in an ambulance and leave her 5 (older) kids with a neighbour for tea. There are more important things, I've decided. They were taking her straight to resus. I just hope she's ok.

I've given in tonight and given ds a bottle. I think I'm just going to do it every night it's really not worth the tears just for my selfish reasons.... He only has 3oz and I still feed him before and after his bath so it's not the end of the world still don't want to do it though

Utopian I decided I wanted DS to sleep in the cot about 2 weeks ago. So I fed to sleep and put him down in it. He obviously woke up being put down, so I picked him straight up and cuddled him. Repeated that for about 30 minutes, not feeding just cuddling in a dark room. He went down in his cot when he was sleepy enough to.
I've done the same every nap since, and when I put him down at night before I go to bed. It takes about 5 minutes for him to go to sleep now (on a good day, 15-20 on a bad day), without milk. After the first week DH started tryingr, and can now put him down to sleep too.

There was no crying really, and tbh it's not "self settling" but both DH and I can put him down for naps and bed, and I feed him when he wakes up after a day time nap, or after 4 hours/when I go to bed at night.

I thought it was important for DH to be able to settle him, and for him to be able to sleep without needing fed to sleep. However I still feed him to sleep at night, or if I feel like it during the day (or if I feel he needs the comfort) and I love doing that.

I was going to say though, since putting him down in his cot he'll now sometimes go down with his eyes open, grab his teddy dog and slowly close his eyes to sleep. No patting or anything required. I think that's maybe the start of him learning to self settle, maybe.

Pidg, really hope your friend is ok. Was glad to read R has put on so much weight. :)

Spotty, it's a shame. I'm not sure what to say, it's good for him to be happy, but it's good for you to be happy too.

Oh Pidj I always dread having to do that with my friend! I imagine you're a good person to have round in that situation!

Stacks it sounds like you're doing much better. I still feed ds to sleep at night, or did before he had the bottle, but day time naps he goes down awake. I found once the daytime naps were sorted he was much better at night. The heat is messing things up though and he hasn't been napping well this week.

Things aren't perfect. I've had to resettle him twice in the last 30 minutes. I did get 4 hours last night though :) I think some might be the heat, some teething perhaps. DH won't let me give him calpol, incase it's not teeth. He's also going out tonight.

Stacks, R has had calpol every night this week. He's settled better on the nights i have so i assume he needs it. His amber deals with the ache but not the temperature or nappies. We give it in the bath for cleanliness!

Spotty

Very very scary. She's fine but in for obs for at least one night. Don't ever underestimate allergies, she's 40 and licked chocolate off her finger - bang, blues and twos into hospital.

Great news hales, that must be a weight off your shoulders.
spotty do what you think is right for all of you then try hard to make peace with your decision. You have done amazingly well and given him the absolute best start despite all the awful boob luck. Whatever you decide it's not right or wrong, just different. Big hug.
pidj fx for your pal, that must have been frightening. Her poor kids too. Hope all are ok.
stacks sounds like we've got similar approaches. I'm happy with pushing her in the right direction with minimal crying.

I found myself last night thinking DS was like a cute baby animal. Nuzzling into my neck looking for warmth and comfort and security. Then I realised, he is a cute baby human animal, he wants comfort and security and the smell of mum. It's natural and right. It made it feel cute instead of annoying.

Glad your friend is ok Pidg. Allergies are real scary, I hope T doesn't have them and I've just over reacted, it if he's got them that he grows out of it soon.

Stacks, sounds like you're doing well. I'm really glad you found the solution that's right for you. Also, I went through a phase of giving C calpol even though I wasn't 100% sure if it was right. But ultimately if I had even a mild headache I'd take a paracetamol. It's one of the best understood drugs and has really minimal side effects. I wouldn't worry if you give an un-needed dose sometimes. I mean, babies can't talk, so we'll never be certain that a baby needs pain relief. But if they do, and you give it, then job well done.

Goodness Pidj! Well done you for staying calm in an emergency!

Spotty, don't sweat it tonight. Don't look at the small picture, try to evaluate thing over a longer time. Dunno why I'm saying this, it's exactly what you're doing anyway.

Oh and Pidj, what research have you seen about sleep training and ages? I'm pretty curious (even though the ship has sailed for us). I read this study - www.monashweekly.com.au/story/316299/for-crying-out-loud-study-backs-baby-sleep-strategies/ - which says controlled crying OK from 6 months (but unfortunately uses a photo of a younger baby to illustrate it...) I can see this would be a tricky issue to study though.

Phew - hot night tonight! Wish I had an icecream.