The 5th Gemini luxury bus - the one with babies!

[FrustratedSycamoresRocks]

As we have all our gorgeous babies now, welcome aboad the 5th Gemini bus.

Drinks and previously banned foods supplied in bulk, Car seats installed, slings and prams at the ready, as we head into parenthood, and all the excitement, and sleepless nights our little ones will bring along the way.

I have prepared and cleared my diary for the next two days so at least I have no extra stress to deal with.

For bring and Kitty for having a lot of children to cope with in extreme weather! I'm fascinated that you can feed and cook kitty...now that's multi tasking!

Pear. Ds kept waking in the night and screaming after his jabs. But by the next day he was fine.

I can't get 5 minutes away from ds. He's such a mummy's boy it unreal. He's now asleep after I had to take him shopping. And I have what feels suspiciously like period cramps.

Pear it wasn't my finest hour, dd2 hanging off my boob while running around like a headless chicken, I definatly looked a sight!
Hopefully baby pear will just sleep after his calpol, you might be surprised tonight, it can only go one of two ways anyway!
Frus when did your periods return with your other dds? I never got them back until I completely stoped bf
Bring, thankyou for being my kindred spirit today, sometimes knowing your not the only one struggeling helps ( although ofcourse I don't wish it on anyone) I've just done my first bedtime alone, it wasn't too bad dd1 just ended up in bed at 6:50 which is abit early but I couldn't figure out how else to do it and dd2 had to cry for 5 mins while she waited for her bottle and I tucked dd1 in! I can't wait for her to be just abit older as at the min she just won't be left alone and runs riot if I try to, all my bras were pulled out of draws just in the time I took dd2 clothes off

9mths with dd1, about 5-6mths with dd2 kitty

I think im luckier than you kitty and bring in that dds are in school. but I am dreading the holidays. Weekends are bad enough.
Dd2 rotates between refusing to interact with anyone, to in your face demanding attention, violent outbursts or trouble making, to the sweetest kindest loving girl. She's a whirlwind and I never can tell which way her day will go.

I don't think luckier frus as you point out you have your own challenges, thank goodness you get a break!
I love dd1 to bits but she is hard, she can be very loving but it's the kind of violent rough love like plonks herself on your knee nutting you or rolling around hugging you and kicks, she wacked baby a on the head earlier trying to give her a book! Plus her comprehension just isn't there yet, we've being trying to potty train because of the nice weather, today she asked for it and did a wee ( one of the first times!), I think she was so made up shed managed it she jumped up and I thought I bet she's not finished but she insisted she was, 10 mins later I find a wee in the kitchen where she's done one and while I'm cleaning that up she does another in the bloody lounge! Why not put the nappy on you ask, well because she doesn't want it on so that's a task then 10 mins later she's saying she wants another wee so I have to take it off again, she very early does but I don't want to discourage her ( she wants rewards that's the trouble but hasn't got the swing of it yet but it's more hassle then its worth, I only put her on now when she asks but she so rarely does anything!) the other trouble is she drinks so much she seems to do 3 wees an hour!
Plus she is naughty deliberately at times but she isn't at an age where she understands its not funny and how hard it is for me

Out of interest as you all have good experience what do you all think a good age gap is to have between number 1 & 2?

Frus ~ thanks for your reassurance!

He is asleep but won't let me put him down. I think I know which way this is going

It's so much easier when they're out of the picture for 6 hours a day. I only vaguely remember this madness that was the summer dd2 was born. I don't envy you with 2 preschoolers

There's no right answer to what is the best age gap pear I think a lot depends on what your older child is like. 2.5yrs is good if 1st dc is walking/talking etc. and dcs can play together. (Unless 2nd is like my 2nd ) but can be hard to occupy a toddler and newborn. But it gets easier as they get older.
Very close together is good as they are close enough to have a double buggy and once past the baby stage easy to occupy.
4/5 year gap is good for 1:1 time with newborn. But day trips and holidays can be hard to organise to suit both children.

pear you could always co-sleep for the night so you can both get some sleep?

pear I'd say 18 years is about right!

We survived the night pheweee!
DS managed 6.5hrs sleep with the usual 3am feed. I'm so thankful as I was dreading his night pattern would disappear after the injections!

Hope everyone else had a good nights sleep in this crazy weather?

I did thank you pear, and now there's a lovely cool breeze in my garden. (Shame I'm going out today)

Think I may have an oversupply issue later, ds was playing silly beggars and not latching on properly unless I shoved his head into me. he's now happily cooing at baby tv.

Dd2 slept through! On a big dovetthe floor in the corner of my room, but hey, needs must.

kitty I hope my post didn't come across as "mines worse than yours" that wasn't my intention. I know I wouldn't be able to cope with the smaller age gap again. But it will get easier for you. The best advise I was given was "expect less" that way everything they do right is noticed. And often you get surprised.

Your dd1 sounds similar to mine when dd2 was born and "I'm just loving her" was often heard. Followed by my "I know darling, just love her gently".
Dd1 is loving playing mini-mum with ds. And she's just big enough to be vaguely helpful.

Frus it didn't sound like that at all, just as I hope mine didn't to bring, more a I empathise kind of thing! That phrase at the bottom is so apt frus yes the word gently has been uttered quite a few times! Great advice about expecting less, me and dh have discussed we expect to much from her as she's not even 2 yet but as she looks older and her talking is so good we expect her to know/ do things she not capable of yet
Pear I'd say to have another when the first is 3 is probably perfect, my sis is 3 years younger and we have always gotten on plus the first should be potty trained talking and able to occupy themselves for abit with tv etc plus you get 15free hours at nursery so you'd have some 1 on 1 time with newborn, that said I think every age will have pro and cons, other then that yes18 would be good lol
Dh just got a rollicking I'd just fallen asleep after dd2 3:30 feed when dd1 wakes at 4:30 I leave her for a minute to see if she will stop or dh will do his job no so I have to go and get her a drink, then when she wakes this morning ofcorse it takes him 10 minutes and could he be any louder, leaving her to cry at the top of the stairs outside our bedroom while he gets her milk, lets the cat come up crying to get in, then for whatever reason decided to come in the room with her to see the baby who is blissfully asleep, this is at 6:30! If I'd have had something to hand I'd have thrown it at him, I don't know what the f he thought he was doing!
Anyway sorry for my morning rant

I had to sleep bra-less on a towel last night because it was so ridiculously hot & sticky. I just couldn't face the thought of trying to sleep with ever so slightly damp breast pads held against my skin. I did manage a good 5 hours though!

kitty our eldest DC really are twins, aren't they?! DS1 has taken to climbing on the sofas which means he can reach all sorts of things he shouldn't. I walked in the room the other day to find him sitting on the back of the chair gleefully waving a pair of scissors at me. I nearly threw up! We now have a no-unaccompanied-children-on-the-sofas rule, since he clearly can't be trusted to sit nicely by himself yet. I think it's going to take him a while to adjust to the rule change but he clearly can be taught rules - he stands at the kitchen door asking for a hand if he wants to go into the kitchen! That's about the only rule he adhers to at the moment. Mostly he's too busy climbing, running away laughing hysterically or throwing himself on the floor tantruming to pay attention to the rules. Just this last week it's been like living with a changeling! I'm putting it down to the heat & really hoping it's not going to be a long phase. It seems like he's deliberately trying to wind me up! I'd be able to cope with his climbing etc if I could tell myself that he was too little to remember the rules. The fact that he laughs while running away is what really makes me want to scream! I did make him nearly cry just by looking at him the other day & I walked in the lounge to see him about to throw a ball we don't allow throwing inside & he took one look at me, froze with the ball held high, carefully lowered the ball to the floor & loudly declared "roll-roll"! He's also started apologising on the way to time-out in his highchair. I nearly cried carrying him through the house with him squirming & shouting "sorry, Mammy" but at the time I needed him to be somewhere where I knew he wouldn't be gouging his eyes out with scissors! "This too shall pass" is my motto right now! One day we'll have grown up children who'll just be delightful people & it'll make all the hardwork worth it! Just hang in there for the next 20-odd years!

DS2, on the other hand, was an absolute angel yesterday. Not only an angel but a smiling angel! I didn't tell DH that he smiled while he was at work but I got DS2 to smile again while we were both there & pretended that was his first smile - he was devastated to miss DS1's first smile so I figure a little white lie is worth it! That face he pulled a few days ago when my dad was playing with him was just an instinctive response to having his cheek touched. It may have looked like a smile but it really wasn't, honest. My children only smile at me or DH first!

kitty I probably would've gone to find something large, hard & smashable to throw a glass vase would shatter over his head nicely if DH had done that to me! I really don't get how some men can be so thoughtless sometimes! Feel free to rant - it's probably slightly healthier than my flinging breakables solution! Disclaimer: I would never actually smash a vase over DH's head. I couldn't reach for one thing...

Yy to the repetitive use of "gently"! DS1 has taken to bringing various toys to DS2 & saying "show" & "kind" insistently while poking him in the head with it! I stupidly told him it was kind of him to show DS2 his toys! I think perhaps the next lesson will be "it's kind to stand perfectly still waaaay over there & wave nicely to DS2"!

Hi all, well it seems like you've had epic nights.

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday, even posted here about how I wanted to 'give her back', but luckily that post got lost in the ether as I'd be embarrassed to remember it.

Basically, I've got a sore, white nipple on my right (unfavoured) boob. Went to see the BF advisor (again!!!!) and she told me I have Rynauds syndrome and to go and see my GP. So after a day of sobbing everytime I feed her, I see the GP who doesn't think it is Raynauds and just tells me to take 2 paracetamol and go visit the lovely retired Lactation Consultant I saw when we were having problems with her latch.

An hour or so later, my boob was like a hot rock, and I was sobbing to my mum.

We got through the night by me hand expressing into little pots off of the right boob, DH gives that to Baby, then I feed her normally off the left, but I'm not sure what to do now. Boob is soft now but still very sore!

However, in good news, DH slung her from 6 till now so I've had nearly 3 hours sleeps so feel fortified to face the day somewhat.

Oh lib, that sounds really tough, poor you! It just shows all the challenges we face as mums trying to do the right thing, I know I just couldn't face anything like that now, it's no wonder the drop out rate for bf is so high!
Do you think the doctor was wrong? I'd maybe go again to get a second opinion
Feel slightly more calm now, dd1 is nursery yeay yeay yeah ( I know this isn't the greatest response but hey) just been Mekong eyes with dd2 while she grins her head of, it's like she's saying really I get attention?! We don't normally do this? Poor little mite
Agnu defiantly separated at birth, that could so easily be a post about dd1 and they do bloody know, I can defiantly accept that they don't apreciate how to be gentle enough when they are trying to show and help etc but when they are dancing on the back if a sofa or get a look when you walk back in the room like you've caught them out then they know!

Oh my where to start!

Lib ~ big hug to you it sounds sooo challenging for you right now. I really feel for you. I've had lots of ups and downs with bf in the last 8 weeks too so I can relate in a small way. It sounds really painful. I'd get a second opinion like Kitty suggested. Sometimes when you go back again it makes them take you seriously even though it shouldn't be like that! Well done for persevering, you should be v proud of yourself!

Kitty ~ I can totally imagine my DH behaving this way when we have no2. Ohhh the joys They just don't think the same way do they. It's like they're programmed to do the opposite to us at the worst opportunities!

Agnu ~ yay to happy smiles Goof plan to tell a tiny white lie

Someone needs to remind me that I need to look semi dressed when the Sainsburys delivery arrives at lunchtime I don't want to take on Frus's flashing habits

Lol at pears delivery, as I read that I'm in bra and pants and have just been cleaning, it shows what your life has become when even hoovering can give you pleasure when you actually can do it, on your own without distraction! I'd forgotten what it felt like

I've spent the last few days in just my underwear - we have to shut curtains to keep the sun out so it's not like anyone can see & the boys are just in their nappies so I figure I'll join them!

Lib I get white bits on my nipples sometimes because DS2 clamps to slow my over active let down & cuts off the circulation! It really hurts when the blood starts to come back after a minute or 2. It seems to be less of a problem now that I'm wearing a well fitting bra & being super careful about the latch & taking him off if he clamps. It sounds like yours is a lot worse than mine though!