April 2013 - We've all had our babies now. Let the (hard work) fun commence!

[HadALittleFaithBaby]

Thought I'd take the liberty of starting a new thread since the last one filled. So mark your places, get comfy and prepare for a few sleepless nights!

In particular we think of Empress and little Sam - hoping and praying he's coming home! :)

Ann - our 2 year old DS still normally wails on waking, both in the morning and after nap time! But Baby E is a smiler already! Some children are just a bit more grumpy! But DS is a lovely affectionate child, and we have plenty of fun, so I wouldn't worry... We did order a smiler second time round though!

faith - I didn't have to worry about DS and formula, and I've always slightly assumed that of they are hungry they will eat, but a look at the forums does seem to dispute this! It may just be the temperature your little one doesn't like... Or some prefer the ready made version to the powder. I'd just keep trying...

teapig - the bottle refuser in my NCT group did eventually decide to play ball, so persevere and read the feeding thread here for ideas... Sorry I chat he of more advice, but not had any practical experience...

Hmmm, you lot are making me feel terrible. Lucy had so far spent 4 hours with my DH, the other night whilst I went to bingo , two sets of six hours with childminder, needed urgent childcare help and 9 hours with stepsons mum when I had to go to work and I didn't miss her to the point of being upset!!! I was relieved to have adult conversation and I felt happy where she was. I did text and get updates but not every thirty mins.

I'm worried I'm a crap mum for it, I love her deeply and she makes me melt, but I don't get stressed being away for her. Happily for her though,she couldn't care less who she's with, she's really chilled, and goes to anyone with a cheeky smile for them too :)

Emma don't be silly! We all react differently!! I cried when I first left him! But apart from the FaceTime at lunch I wasn't calling or texting! I knew he'd been absolutely fine with hubby

He's been left with my Mum for a few hours on a few occasions too and then it's fine!!!

Personally (no one take offence) I think it's that women can feel like they want to be missed too and the whole world will fall down for baby without mum being there! But as most of us have said the little ones are usually fine on our return! Xx

I don't know if it's because I've always known that at five months I have to go back to work, And I'm quite hey ho, mst get on with it, kinda attitude.

It depends on the baby too. We only got past the refusing to be put down stage a couple of weeks ago! I think I'll
have the confidence to leave her in the evening when she stops cluster feeding. At the moment I could never express enough milk to satisfy that hunger!

Don't feel bad though ratbag! We'd had my nephew overnight by the time he was 12 weeks! He was FF which made it easier but he was just a easy baby.

Boos definitely an easy baby, I went to work and didnt see her for over an hour as she was being passed round, not one whinge from her, she was really chuffed and smiling at everyone. :)

Ann... DD is 2.5 and wakes sobbing every morning, she didn't as a baby. She now misses DH and as he goes to work early doesn't do the morning routine. Even on weekends we let him lie in a bit and she sobs. DS just tends to rustle about and when anyone checks on him he smiles at them, it's very cute. However he won't self settle during he day, so have to jiggle gently until blotto.

I struggled at first leaving DD with anyone, but that is more trust issues than not wanting too. My parents have a lack of understanding that a trip from Somerset to Reading to go shopping is not suitable for a 6 month old who is EBF. I was in screaming agony as DD was only 3-4 hours between feeds. They were only meant to stay local. Even now they still don't get it. They won't tell me where they plan on going. My mum won't play with DD so feels she can only bond through shopping (which I hate because she took us every weekend when we would rather be playing) but DD now says no and says why she wants to do. My mum is already hounding me to take DS overnight, he is 8 weeks ffs. I can't trust them with DD overnight as the one time they had her they kept her up until 11 and then she was crying so hard she lost her voice and was pulling hair out in handfuls. They thought she'd just take herself off to bed when tired, an almost 2 year old? We had to drive back middle of the night and they were trying to give her whiskey and milk to knock her out when we arrived. It took her two weeks to return to normal. She'd wake crying for months afterwards. But they don't realise how ridiculous they are being. My mum would hand us over to the grandparents every weekend and school holiday and sometimes summer evenings. It was a 45 minute walk along country lanes. I was 8 and would walk with my 7 year old brother. Looking back now it scares me. Anyway, went a bit off tangent. It makes me hard to trust people.

DS did just under 2 hours between feeds again last night feeling exhausted.

kellestar That sounds awful, your poor, poor DD. No wonder you are hesitant to leave them, after an experience like that I don't think I'd be able to for a long time.

My parents are great with DD1 and she loves being with them but they are the opposite to yours, my Mum has to ask about EVERYTHING and doesn't have any confidence in her ability even though she is brilliant and DD1 has always been absolutely fine. They also like to give me a full rundown of everything that she has done when we get back! It means that I don't like to ask them to look after her very often (they aren't local) as I think it puts her under quite a lot of stress.

We had a good night last night 11-3.30 then 4-7:30 so I feel quite human today, hopefully we are getting back to the pre-jabs routine.

Can I just ask, does anyone else's DC really dislike tummy time? DS has reflux which could be the reason why he doesn't like it but I'm starting to get concerned that it may affect him rolling etc. He has a very strong neck and holds his head whenever he is held or sat on your lap but only manages about 2 minutes on his tummy before he starts to cry. He manages slightly longer if he is propped up (think he is nosey so if he can see while he has something to lay on during tummy time he doesn't feel like he is missing out on anything!) am I best just persevering with it in the hope that each time he manages it for slightly l

*slightly longer each time?

Kelle - I don't normally do an OMG, but OMG! At least you've managed to escape your childhood with knowledge of how to do it better for your little ones!

Princess - 2 minutes at a time is fine. Tummy time makes a lot of babies cross!

Princess try a tummy roll from mamas and papas, I picked one up from ebay for 99p, Lucy loves it as props her higher up. :)

Top tip ratbag thanks my DD doesn't really like tummy time either. She either cries or stays very still and goes to sleep .

Am now worried about whether I should have left DD with anyone, she is 12 weeks and other than leaving her with DH for a few minutes wile I nip to buy milk/paper I've not left her. I said I'd go back to work after 6 months which was a huge mistake- can you ask to extend your maternity leave? DD is ebf and I haven't even expressed any milk to try her with a bottle- it wasn't planned it's just the way it has gone. BF was hard at first but once we got the latch sorted after a couple of weeks she's been really good. If I do have to go back to work in three months am I doomed- should I start leaving her with people and trying a bottle? Had no idea I'd feel like this as a mum, six months just seems so little to leave her if I can avoid it.

You have to notify them eight weeks before you're due to go back I believe, so you can extend it.
Your dd may hate tummy roll but if you pay next to nothing for it then no harm done. Fwiw my dd has reflux and is on omeprazole to control it but enjoys tummy time and sleeps on her stomach.

Having a tough afternoon, boos cried for nearly two hours as she's fighting sleep, she's finally dropped off if my arms but need to put her down as got bottles to wash and sterilise and stew to get simmering. Grrrrrr

Ratbag- Stew! That's what we are having for dinner thanks for reminding me!

It's awful when they won't sleep but you can see they are so tired. When you put her down, will she stay asleep? My daughter sometimes wakes right up, and I think she was just pretending to be asleep for the cuddle! I've found putting her down and then putting my hands back on her body straight away and staying there for a minute while she gradually goes back to sleep works sometimes. Hope that your afternoon will get better- can you catch 40winks while she's asleep?

Princess Hunter has mild reflux and loves tummy time, he goes on a pillow from his playmat but I like the tummy rolls and the crescent shaped ones too!

Thanks amber, that gives me hope that T may one day take a bottle.

kelle, crikey I can understand why you don't like your folks to have your LOs.

mrsmummy, you don't have to confirm your return until 2 months before you go back. I think it's impossible to know how you'll feel about returning before baby arrives. I thought I'd happily go back at 9 months or before but now I'd love to stay off longer. Your BF experience sounds similar to mine. We had latch issues initially and then we sorted those I was so pleased I didn't get round to introducing the bottle. DH has tried to give her a bottle a couple of times but all Thea wants is the boob. I've heard the a lot of bottle refusers to come on side eventually so let's hope our two will crack at some point

So much to reply to!

trish I am absolutely guilty of needing to be needed. Difficult to put into words though!

kelle wow your poor DD! I can understand where you're coming from. Although I have no negative experience like that I am entirely guilty of not trusting anyone else.

princess I don't really bother with tummy time. She's upright in a sling a lot of the time so her neck is great. She'll only tolerate it for a few minutes if I have her on my tummy, if it's on the floor she usually just pukes and then rubs her face in it!!

ratbag we've had the same the last few days, it's exhausting seeing them so upset isn't it?! baby groups are spoiling what minimal routine we have so I'm thinking of stopping them till she's a bit older. If she really won't nap I side by side feed her and cuddle her to sleep. Does mean I am stuck there but it's better than the alternative!

ann we have a mix of happy and sad wakings. If she wakes naturally she's smiley, if it's due to gas/wind or a loud noise then she does an in edible 'waaaah face' then bawls!

Sure I must have missed someone...!

Faithlet isn't keen on tummy time either but like candy she's in a sling a lot and holds her head up on my chest so I'm not worried.

Ann that sounds tough. In the mornings I get Feed me! but then I get smiles when she's full!

I was having 6 months mat leave but we've reviewed our finances and we're now hoping to stretch it out til New Year. Good job cos the nursery we picked don't have a vacancy til February! My Dad can cover for a few weeks.

Kelle I'm amazed you're as well rounded as you are!

ratbag hope she's settled. We had a day like that yesterday.

We're all packed for a trip to Devon to see family - much easier to prepare after my trip close to home last week!

S is just about big enough for the tummy roll now - before she was just ending up on her face .

I have left S once when people from work took me out for lunch. she was with my mum who she sees lots but i still had to just walk out and not look back! my aunt called last week and offered to have her but I politely refused!

ratbag we had a horrible unsettled weekend. hate seeing S upset - I was in tears at one point. Sometimes it seems easier to just sit there with them in your arms but it's hard when you know you have things to do!

right HV coming at 10 so I had better go and at least brush my teeth!

giddy how are you doing?

This baby always falls asleep right when I give up & decide to go out, grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Started making effort to put her in pretty outfits, its like having my own little dressing up doll, only one that cries, wriggles, kicks & poo's on everything.

We finally seem to be getting a bit of sleep at night; Evan usually has a bottle at about 7-8pm and then goes down and has been sleeping until 1-2am. He has his bottle and settles quite quickly (well, within an hour of waking!) and then goes through to sometime between 5-6am. This works fairly well for us as he would have to be getting up fairly early due to the girls' school run.

We still alternate doing his feeds in the night and it is so much easier only having to wake up the once (instead of every 3 hours). This has happened for the last 3 nights now so here's hoping it is becoming a habit for him.

He is getting so big that we are having to put him in 3-6 month clothes already. Quite often it is because the 0-3 clothes won't fit comfortably over his reusable nappies but it is still quite sad to have to say 'farewell' to some of his cute baby stuff! The 3-6 month stuff is lovely too but he is certainly not a tiny baby anymore (and you certainly wouldn't know he was born early unless you compare him with babies born at term around the same time as he arrived.

Argh! DD just gone to sleep after being awake all afternoon! She wouldn't nap. Am worried she'll sleep for an hour or so and then be awake all night! we had a good little routine, well at least a pattern going and everything.