It's April 2013, the time is now & HERE ARE OUR BABIES!

[toobreathless]

Our first post natal thread!

Cooking & Cleaning can wait till tomorrow
for children grow up we've learnt to our sorrow
So wipe away cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm cuddling my baby cause babies don't keep!

A thread to celebrate the highs of life with a gorgeous newborn and the lows of sleepless nights, stitches, feeding traumas & Baby blues.

teapig does yoir boob feel hot, tender and hard? if so it may be blocked you need lots of heat around it like hot towels hot water bottle or wheat bag. Take some pain killers to take the edge off and just express as much as you can to try and get things moving again. If you start getting flu like symptoms it may be mastitis which needs looking at by a dr.
don't worry this happened to me with ds1 at the beginning and he bf for 4 years

Thanks so much for all the advice and support.

kelle, I've tried expressing some off but very little comes even when we've done skin to skin and she's had that boob in her mouth. Stupidly I'd forgotten about our NCT breast feeding expert, I have her contact info and will get in touch thanks for the reminder.

essex, I'm using a pretty cheap manual pump so will look into getting an electric one.

Thanks for the advice amber, she is having some formula as I'm pretty much down to milk coming from one breast and I just can't express enough from that one to fill her up. Thanks for the reassurance too if BF doesn't work out, have to say I have horrible pangs of guilt which I'm trying to keep in check.

giddy, the left boob isn't hot but it's very, very hard and a bit tender. Thanks for the tip re using heat to help clear the blockage I'm going to try that now. I have been feeling a bit cold and did wonder if I had a chill so will keep a close eye on that in case it is mastitis. Great to hear that you BF your DS for so long after overcoming problems, sorry you had to go through it though it's bloody painful and frustrating.

teapig, you can also try massaging the hard/lumpy patches while expressing and alternating with a hot flannel. Doing this while expressing might help, and expessing while feeding your LO on the other breast might help the flow. I did this with a manual pump with a very willing DP doing the massaging & pumping!

Cold Cabbage leaves in the bra will also help the swelling. I also found hand expressing in the bath helpful.

I second nipple shields to use while the nipple heals. Also plenty of lanisoh/breast milk on the nipples - after or before every feed.

For the latch remember to try different positions (this will also help with blockages), aim baby's chin tucked into your breast and the nipple towards the top of baby's mouth. I found this book super helpful:
www.amazon.co.uk/Food-Love-Formula-Successful-Breastfeeding/dp/0954930959

Hope some of that helps!

Hm, not sure if that link worked. It's The Food of Love by Kate Evans

Baby for sale, 3 week old male, must be willing to breastfeed on demand every 20 mins, producing enough milk to satisfy baby that has put 38ozs in 3 weeks, be able to sleep instantly when he sleeps in 15 minute blocks and be able to entertain him when he's awake for a 5 hour window . Yes ladies my angel baby has turned into mr demanding and not sleeping! I am KNACKERED! Any tips ladies? Tonight if it means he'll sleep for a while, he can sleep on my chest in bed, I plan on putting pillows either side of me and going with it.

Don't worry about selling him DP has resolved any emotional harm by reassuring DS I'm only teasing

Essex my LO (also 3 weeks) was doing the same a few days ago. The MW told me it was a growth spurt. Not sure if there's anything that helps but thankfully it has now passed and he's back to feeding every 1-4 hours. Might just have to see it through!

Hi all,

WOW what a weekend

was away at my parents place, yesterday my DD fed for 11 hours !!

I was exhausted and also got a blocked left breast, lots of hot flannels and massage seemed to work. That left me plenty of time to google, and yes, it seems that a 10 day growth spurt is a real phenomenom.

Today she hasn't been too bad until 5pm, when we hit cluster feeding central. She is still on now! It is sooo hard.

Eeekkk. am dying for a shower and some sleeeeeppppppp.

too and others, I am also tearful at teatime ( like clockwork) and at 4am, when I find I am overwhelmed. The thought of the change DD has brought to our lives and the overwhelming responsibility is impossible to comprehend, and I have to take a deep breath and tell myself to take things an hour at a time.

It is such a relief to know there are others going through exactly the same things. This thread is awesome

Thank goodness you lot understand how I'm feeling. We are having a growth spurt too, it started about day 10 and have continued with trust me at least once if not twice a day everyday since. They make me so tired and weepy! I have cried tonight and told DH I don't think I'm doing a good enough job with her and I'm worried I don't love her enough...I'm certainly happy to hand her over to others! That's Just because I have to feed her so much that I like the rest when someone else hold her for a while to give me a rest!

I love her, I'm just very tired and drained by it all at the moment. It will get better, I know..

Oh my gosh ladies, we've averaged feeding for 20mins every hour here (since about. 8 pm y'day) and I thought that was bad - you all have my sympathy! My bra is baggy because my boobs aren't getting chance to refill!
She's been asleep on my lap for the last half hour, I really want to pee and make a drink but I know if I move she'll wake and want to feed again!
DH is declining to hold her (he's had her for 20 mins at most today) because she cries when she isn't on me, I was even called back mid-wee because she was crying so hard!
I know I'm getting snappy with him and I wish I wasn't but I can't help it. So tired!

Hugs to all xx

Angel and faith-it's like you could be writing about me! You have summed it up exactly! All you wanted was your baby and you do love them, of course you do, but just give me a night off being mum/milk farm and all would be well!

My DS has been feeding since 4pm also, keeps faking that he is asleep then lasts about 5 mins til he wakes for more food and where I have expressed and he's taken a bottle for last 3 nights he's refused it, not good. His awkward phase started at 20 days rather than 10, could this still be a growth spurt?

Probably essex, they don't always follow an exact pattern!

Ah she has found her fingers - never sure if she's sucking for hunger or comfort but after 4 hours feeding I'm letting her fingers take the battering rather than my nipples for a minute! :)

So I'm wide awake as Blake stirred and I got ready to feed him, 30mins later he's is fasto and I'm wide awake, just brilliant when 2 and a half hours ago I was in tears begging him to sleep, tempted to wake him to feed so I can blinking sleep again, doh!

Morning! Had a chaotic night with my two, a low flying jet woke up Bea at 2am, just after Wilf had finished his feed and we had burped and settled him back down, so she wanted to come in with us, she did for a bit then wouldn't settle so took her back to bed, was another hour before she settled and then Wilf woke for more boob, then got him settled. It felt really frustrating trying to deal with Bea fairly, she is normally such a good sleeper and rarely wakes in the night.

MiL was being really opinionated yesterday morning and nearly had me in tears. She doesn't like our choice or name or nickname, so she suggested another name that they will use instead, when I said no, she still said it doesn't suit him. I reminded her politely of the fuss she made over Bea's name. She was also disgusted that I had him in a sling while I put the washing on the line and played with DD, he should be in the cot in his bedroom, how very dare I. DH was having a nap whilst she took this jab at me. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being out and getting on with things.

Growth Spurts are amazing things, it can be worth looking at some books. I was a fan of what to expect the first year and wonder weeks. Both good for development and growth spurts.

Kelle how unhelpful of your mil! Stick to your guns with the name, like you say, she dealt with Bea! Funnily enough one of the main reasons I want to try a sling is because I can't imagine what I'd do with Faithlet when I put the washing out otherwise!

Anyone wise struggling to find a balance with night feeds? Last night Faithlet settled about 11.30 after a mammoth feed of about 4 hours (have worked out she tends to settle on the mattress by me if she feeds lying down). She settled and slept but I've had it drummed into me She mustn't go more than 3 hours between feeds. Well I woke her about 1.30 but she was so sleepy she struggled to latch but then didn't settle for another 4 hours, on and off boob but for 5 minute intervals but refused to settle in her Moses basket. In the end I was exhausted so I got DH to take her. She settled for short periods with him. Tonight if she's fast off I'm loathe to wake her - I think I'll leave her up to 4/5 hours if she's settled. It just seems counter productive to wake her!

Sorry Bea wanted out of her cot, we've left DH to have a lie in, and now watching tractor ted!

My stitches this time are pretty big, I was 1cm away from a third degree tear. Spoke with a really unpleasant MW yesterday at Wilf's three day check about them and she was very dismissive of them. Was taking paracetamol and she actually recommended diclofenac as it's better for me... Though I am not allergic to it, it gives me nausea and diarrhoea and that would be worse than the discomfort of the stitches. She told me not to be so silly even DH said something.

When I had Bea, with the growth spurts I would have a day snuggled in bed, plenty of skin to skin, lots of fluids for me and some good snacks/meals and would let her feed as it suited her. Not sure I can get away with it this time around.

He is such a lovely little chap, totally besotted, I am still amazed we have a boy, I was so expecting a girl :) and I am glad I didn't find out, DH's face when he saw him, unforgettable.

Kelle how unhelpful of you ils and the midwife. Can you see someone else if your still in discomfort? And stick to your name I love it for what its worth
Alex fed all night again, he's so hungry but getting really chubby now- can you believe I can say that?! We have been spending a lot of time outdoors relaxing in the fresh air-there's a pic on fb for those who are on there. Ad ds1 has been trying t get Alex onto his trampoline we compromised on a very quick lay Alex on and push down very gently- he loved it! He started kicking his arms and legs a mile a minute think he was trying to bounce more.
I am getting used to not being able to walk, with crutches i can now drag myself to the kitchen and cook.
Dd asked last night when I was going to stop smiling 'like a lunatic mother' - pretty sure the answer is never

lutrinae thanks for the advice on massage, that seems to help the milk come.

giddy thanks so much for the tip on using a hot compress that seems to be helping.

Still can't get Thea to feed from me, she'll take the nipple at best but won't suck. The MW is coming today so hopefully that will help.

mama it's amazing how well Alex is doing, it's such an inspiration.

and to everyone dealing with growth spurts, I can only imagine how tough that is.

kelle I love your name choice, hope your MIL keeps her opinions to herself.

kelle your MIL is acting appalingly and you or your DH should tell her so. Opinions on your choice of name for your lovely boy do not need to be voiced, as she doesn't get a say! As for the sling etc, 'this is how we are choosing to parent. You had your turn to choose how to parent Xx years ago' now jog on

Faith, don't wake her at night, she'll wake when she's hungry

Bad night here at 1am, when I'd been in bed for 6 minutes, my H told me to stay where I was, then he gave her a bottle of formula she then slept all night, she woke once but DH managed to settle her.

I felt like shit, but OMG, the sleep was amazing and much needed!

I woke at 8.30 with massive boobs and scared she wouldn't latch, but she has just fed for an hour. An about to try an electric pump now for the first time.

faith I feel exactly the same about waking lo..she was feeding every 2 hrs 2 days ago, 3 hrly yday my boobs were ready to explode from jst 1 Hr difference! and last nite she went 5 hrs between feeds! Had another an hour later so think they'll let u know if they're hungry! ...I used a swaddle yday which may have had something to do with the increase in sleep - did someone mention up thread tht they're not recommend? Don't want to scare myself by Googleing but what are others thoughts?

mama it's such an inspiration to hear how well Alex is doing. How is your older ds's chicken pox now?

kell love the name wilf! When my eldest was born and we decided on Aurelia, my mum wasn't keen at all but soon got used to it!

All those dealing with growth spurts, sounds like I have fun to look forward to funny how I've done this twice before but really don't remember it! Guess it is true when they say these things pass and we get thru it! Xx

angel well done for letting dh give formula even if u only plan to ebf a happy mummy makes for a happy baby imo and sleep deprivation is torture! xx

angel don't beat yourself up, you're doing what's right for you and your baby. I'm glad you slept! :)

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I figure she wakes and demands food in the day now - actually thinking about it I never have to wake her in the day! - so I'll trust her to do it at night too.

This thread is making me so reassured, feel terrible that I'm finding this so hard. Last night I went bed at 9.30, literally as my eyes closed she started screaming and continued till 2am, eventually settled in bed with me till 7, fed then, woke at 9 for food but didn't latch properly till we both fell sleep, mw came at 10.30, and eventually got her to latch... Fed for about 15 mins and now finally in Moses basket in a very restless sleep!

I think oh had enough sleep today, about 6 hours till mw arrived then he sneaked into spare room and is having proper sleep now, so at least one of us will be feeling ok.

I just hate how temperamental my latch is, if she would go on quickly I could cope, but sometimes it's instant others an hour!

user did the mw offer advice or support? Is there a bf support group or anything in your area? No experience with probs latching on except it hurting like buggery but jst wanted to hand hold as I don't think many find all this easy!

We've had some success. Managed to get little one to feed from both breasts. She was only on for about five mins a boob but she was sucking, yippee! Starting to feel like there may be a way back for us. Expressed quite a bit from the engorged boob after she fed and it feels less hard so hopefully making progress there.
A very BIG thank you for the advice and support, you ladies are lovely.

Well done to those of you persevering with bf.

Hunter really tries with it! He even managed 13 mins on one boob the other day. But it's not consistent so he's still having my ebm by bottle. Frozen ebm stores running low now tho so tried C&G and didn't agree with him and today I've mixed half ebm half aptamil at his midday feed so will see how it goes!